Chapter Text
“Isn’t Negan coming?”
The tone Rick used was even, carefully neutral, a bit cold. His face was no more expressive, a disinterested look in his eyes as he closed the door. Sasha rolled her eyes and gave a smile that had just enough wryness on it as she shrugged her jacket off and left it at the entrance.
“You’re not seeing him, are you?”
“I just thought you were gonna bring him along, is all. I’m surprised, he doesn’t feel like the kind of guy to turn down something like this.”
“He’s not” Sasha laughed, patting Rick’s cheek lightly. He wrinkled his nose and stepped back, a glitter of amusement bright in his eye. “He wanted to come, if only for the booze and the chance to be an asshole and make everyone roll their eyes, but I convinced him to stay at his place. I guess he’ll be marathoning some movies and bitch at me through text, but he’s staying there.”
“Why? I doubt he can do anything he hasn’t done already.”
“I didn’t want any dead body tonight, is all. Not his and certainly not yours.” Sasha crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow at Rick, who had enough decency to look chastised, eyes down at his shoes as a slight blush spread through his cheeks. She just laughed again. “Relax, Rick. Look, he’s a hard man to deal with, I get it. If I wasn’t with him I’d be butting heads with him too. Not as much as you do, for sure, but I would. Then again, I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people get along worse than the two of you. I’d be grateful to you both if you worked on that. But let’s not worry about that tonight, huh?” she added before he could look embarrassed again.
He hummed, low-pitched and long, thoughtful. He smiled at her when she smiled at him, and then lingered for a moment on the doorstep when Sasha went inside, being greeted by Maggie and Michonne, who welcomed her into a hug. He waited for a few more moments, schooled his expression back into something relaxed and friendly, and went into the living room with everyone else.
It was a small gathering, just about ten people having dinner, chatting, and perhaps watching a movie later. Not very glamorous, maybe, but good. And fun. And quiet. Wouldn’t have been quite so quiet if Negan had tagged along, that was for sure. He’d have joked too loud and laughed too loud and eaten too loud and made comments too loud and existed too loud. He would have likely said something that would have made someone pissed or embarrassed, and no one would have known if he meant it or if he just didn’t realize it. Maybe not even himself.
But at the same time, it wouldn’t have really ruined the night. It’d be fun, in a way, to see the guy being an asshole, banter with him, rise up to him… That had an edge that was undeniably enjoyable. To Rick, at least. Until it got out of hand. Then he’d have to remind himself why it wasn’t a good idea to break the asshole’s nose. He was Sasha’s boyfriend, after all.
In any case, Negan was most definitely not needed to have fun. It wasn’t for nothing that Rick felt a lot of tension leave him after he heard the man wasn’t coming, after all. He had his friends and that was what he needed to have a good time. And if they felt like having a boost, they had beer.
A lot of beer.
A little too much, maybe.
What was too much, though? Rick found it hard to draw a limit when his booming laugh filled the room, arm over Glenn’s shoulder and then he emptied half another glass in one go.
But maybe this was the sign of too much. Rick might have recognized it if he hadn’t crossed the line already. Then again he wouldn’t know the line if he hadn’t crossed it, so in the end, it didn’t matter. What mattered was that he was in the hallway with Sasha, while the others laughed loudly in the living room. She was perky, that was for sure, but something told Rick she was much more level-headed than he was. But he didn’t feel self-conscious, just feeling compelled to return her smile.
“Alright, Rick, so what was this super important thing you wanted to talk about?”
Good question. What could it be? Rick’s brain digged deep for the answer. Super important thing, super important thing… Oh.
Rick sobered up a little, haziness dissipating partially from his eyes and dorky smile coming down as he stood up straighter under Sasha’s curious eyes. He looked down, licked his lips, and hesitated for a moment before nodding. He looked her dead in the eye.
“Yeah, about the thing. You see, Sasha, I realize this might be kind of awkward, but… Look, here comes the funny part, really really funny. You would never believe it. Ok, here it comes, you ready? Yeah, you’re ready. Well, the thing is... I’m in love with your boyfriend. With Negan.”
One, two, three beats.
“What.” Not a question. Said flatly.
“I know, I know, very awkward. I’m sorry, I just… ” Rick’s eyes widened and he added, hurriedly, “You don’t think I’m gonna try to get him, right? No, never. You’re with him and he makes you happy and that matters more. I just thought you deserved to know, is all. And I needed to get it out.”
And he felt kind of guilty about it and he was drunk with his self-control at his minimum, too.
Sasha blinked at him a few times, each blink making Rick’s skin more and more sweaty. Then she closed her eyes, raised her hands, and breathed deeply. Well, at least she didn’t look pissed. That was good.
“Alright, let me see if I get this straight. You have a thing for Negan.”
“I’m in love with him, yeah.”
“... Rick, I thought you couldn’t stand him.”
Rick laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck, nervous smile and eyes cast to some point at Sasha’s right. He heard a loud cheer on the room and then a soft thud. Alright, someone had gone past their point and passed out. Rick’s bet was on Glenn.
The night wasn’t supposed to end like this, really. More than one thing had gotten out of hand.
“That’s true” he started, wetting his lips and dragging the words out. “I couldn’t stand him. Sometimes I can’t even now. It’s just…” He started gesticulating wildly in front of himself, staring at his hands as he moved them around. Then he looked at Sasha. “Get it?”
Sasha’s mouth was hanging slightly open and her brow was furrowed, but then she smoothed the expression down and nodded.
“I get that love’s complicated, Rick. You don’t need to explain it.”
“Oh. Oh, that’s, that’s good, yes. Thank you.” He scratched the back of his head, swinged on his heels, bit down on his lip, looked at her, looked down, looked back up at her. “I know I’m drunk, alright? Wouldn’t be telling you otherwise.” He laughed to himself. “Most of the time I can’t even acknowledge it to myself. But yeah, it’s not something I’m making up now.”
Sasha crossed her arms, eyes in some unspecified point. Rick heard her suck on her lower lip for a long dragged-out moment. “I’m not gonna lie, Rick, I’m not sure what to tell you.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything. I told you, I’m not planning to do anything and I don’t expect anything to happen. I had to say it out loud, is all. I hope… I hope everything’s alright?”
Rick sighed in relief when he saw Sasha nod and give him a friendly smile, hand on his shoulder. It was warm and reassuring. “Of course it is. Not ideal, sure, and pretty damn awkward, but it’s alright. It’s probably more uncomfortable for you than it is for me.”
“That’s not a problem. I can deal with it. I don’t want anything to change between us.”
“It won’t, I promise. You’re my friend, after all.”
Rick smiled wide, but still with a hint of quickly-fading awkwardness. “You’re my friend, too.”
-0-o-0-o-0-
“Oh my god, Negan, you’re just awful !”
“You knew that when you signed the deal, baby. Can’t dislike it that much if you’re still around.”
Negan was sporting an easy smile and wriggling his eyebrows at Sasha, who looked down at him with her eyes narrowed and her hands on her hips. He made himself comfortable on the couch and made a gesture for her to sit on his lap, but she rolled her eyes and walked to the other side, lips pressing tighter together.
“Yeah, I knew, but then you started being awful to my friends! You know, I supposed you’d tone it down and try to get along with them, for my sake.”
“I do! I get along with them just fine! Don’t you see that I’m joking with them all the time? Being friendly, laughing together! Good nice fun!”
Negan spread his hands out and opened his eyes wide at Sasha, as if he was presenting something incredibly obvious to her. Then he gave her a toothy grin and gestured to his lap again, sagging against the back of the couch and spreading his arms out along it, easy, relaxed smile on his face.
Sasha’s eyebrow twitched repeatedly.
“Screaming into the phone to fuck off because you need my pussy to eat while I’m talking with Rick hardly counts as friendly joking, Negan.”
Negan sneered and rolled his eyes.
“Come on , Sash! Not my fault the guy’s a little bitch with the whole Empire State shoved up his ass! We have a perfectly healthy and normal sex life and we’ve never hidden it. If the guy’s sore I’m getting some good rolling on the sheets and he’s getting blue balls, then he should try to loosen up a bit and go out to a bar.”
“He’s pretty loose and friendly when he’s not being poked at, you know. By you, mostly.”
“Hell, not my fault the guy’s got a problem with me. Nothing I ever do is good enough to not earn me a bitch face. What’s the problem with him, anyway? Does he have a crush on you and he’s bitter that I scored you first?”
At that Sasha actually snorted, an ironic smile almost taking place on her lips before she sobered up and rolled her eyes. She started tapping on the floor with her shoe.
“His problem has got a name and it’s Negan. You have it out for him. And yes, I know, he had it out for you too, before. When we first started dating he didn’t stop saying you were just trying to get into my pants.”
Negan huffed. “Then I wouldn’t have suggested you took yoga to deal with your anger issues instead of being in my fighting class. Do you know how grateful I am to this day that you ignored me? You look all hot when you’re heated and sweaty, baby, makes my dick harder than a diamond.”
“ But ” Sasha continued, pointedly ignoring Negan’s interruption and lightly swatting away the hand fondling her ass, “that was before. He’s been trying to be civil to you, but you just keep being an ass to him. Not very nice of you, Negan.”
“Alright, so I like poking fun at him, and?” Negan shrugged. “Not my fault it’s so fucking fun. He’s much better than all the others. You should try it sometime, the face he gets is fucking priceless. Looks like he’s constipated. Or like he’s trying not to jump me and give me the fuck of my life against the wall. I really can’t get enough of it. I wonder what messed up shit is going on in his head.”
“That’s because he’s in love with you, Negan. You shouldn’t use that to make him miserable.”
One, two, three.
“What?”
What she had just said caught up to Sasha. She gasped softly, bringing her hands up to cover her mouth, and watched as Negan blinked a couple times, mouth hanging open.
“What the hell did you just say, Sasha?”
Sasha hesitated for a long moment, biting down on her lip. She really shouldn’t… But it was already out there, nothing she could do about that - fucking brilliant move , she told herself - and maybe, just maybe, if she explained it then Negan would get it and quit his bullshit. She sighed, quickly throwing the shock away and covering herself up with a serious, judging expression.
“You haven’t heard this from me, Negan. Actually, you haven’t heard it at all. But yes, Rick’s got a thing for you. That’s why he’s especially vulnerable when you mess with him. You’re not just being annoying, you’re playing with his heart. So yes, I really, really would appreciate it if you stopped doing that.”
Slowly, Negan’s dumbstruck expression gave way to something else. A cold fear ran right under Sasha’s skin when she saw the shine in his eyes and a second later, he was booming with laughter.
“Fuck! Oh fuck! Damn, I can’t breathe. Rick? Ricky Dicky Rick? He’s in love with me? God, this is too fucking much, baby. I’d think you’re fucking with me but damn, it makes sense. Guy’s gotta be a masochist, but he’s got good taste. Fuck, that stupid fucker’s got a hard on for me? Fucking hell, I can’t. I’m dying. This is too much fun.”
Sasha’s expression had gone cold. Not cold like it was before, annoyed and pissed. It was downright icy now. Her eyes were almost empty.
“Careful there, Negan. I’ve known Rick since I was eighteen and I met you seven months ago. I really don’t like what you’re saying right now.”
“What? You’re telling me you’re gonna choose the little bitch over me and my sex god skills?”
In hindsight, Negan would realize he shouldn’t have had such a wide grin when he said that. He shouldn’t have said that at all, period.
Sasha’s expression became completely neutral. She went over to the table, grabbed Negan’s phone, and then she grabbed him by the arm. Surprised as he was, he was easy to carry over to the door.
“Yes, I’d choose Rick over ten of you. We’re done, Negan.”
She threw the phone. It hit Negan’s open-mouthed face, hit the floor, and then the door closed in front of him.
One second later he was banging on it.
“What the shit? Sasha! Sasha! Sash! Open the door! Open it, pretty fucking please! Baby! Alright, I’m sorry, that was fucking bad taste of me. Can’t blame the fucker for being a dumb little bi- Fuck, I’m sorry. Babe, just let me in, we can talk about this. I already miss you. Sasha, please!”
Inside, Sasha was putting on her headphones and getting the volume to the maximum. ‘Less cute’ started playing, and she listened to it as she tried to force her expression back to smoothness from the harsh, contracted grimace it was, hide away the hurt and the second thoughts.
Half an hour later, when she brought the music down to silence, there was no banging on the door anymore.
-0-o-0-o-0-
Rick was checking his bag as he walked through the street. Wallet, keys, phone, the documents… Yeah, it looked like everything was there-
His head met someone’s chin and he took a step back, letting out a little gasp of surprise. He blinked repeatedly as he brought his focus back on the here and now.
“Sorry. It was my fault, I wasn’t-”
Rick’s words died down when he looked at the person he had walked into and was met with Negan’s raised eyebrow looking down at him, lips twisted in a tight line. Rick felt a cold sweat start to form at the base of his neck and his mouth became become kinda dry.
“O- Oh, hi, Negan. Em, long time no see, right? I, huh, sorry about this, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
“It’s cool. I wasn’t paying a lot of attention, either.” Negan’s voice was firm and calm, and something in it made a shiver run down Rick’s spine. His expression had morphed into something friendlier, a slight smile, but it had something sharp on its edge that had Rick swallowing hard. Something sort of dangerous.
“And yeah, it’s been a while. Almost a month since Sasha and I broke up. Time sure as fuck flies, doesn’t it?”
Rick felt compelled to look down, but he didn’t, and so Negan had a pretty good look at how his cheeks got red as he stepped closer, stopping barely a palm away from Rick. They looked into each other’s eyes, except Rick’s couldn’t stop flickering between Negan’s warm hazel ones and his lips.
Said lips curved up into a more pronounced smile. “So you’ve got a crush on me, Grimes? Damn, you had me fooled.”
The red on Rick’s cheeks got hotter and he’d have looked down in shame if he hadn’t been caught up in the magnetism of Negan’s smile. The man licked his lips and Rick felt his mouth go drier.
“I’m sorry.”
“The hell for, Rick? Falling in love’s something more than natural. Happens to everyone all the time. No shame in it, man. Embrace the fuck out of it, love’s something beautiful. Can I have your phone for a moment?”
Dumbstruck, Rick didn’t hesitate to give what was asked. Negan laughed softly to himself, typed something on Rick’s phone, and gave it back with a new contact that read ‘❤ babe ❤’. Rick’s eyes widened when he saw it, a ball of fluttery birds forming on the base of his stomach, but when he looked up at Negan for an explanation, the man was already stepping back, hand beside his ear, thumb and pinky spread out to mimic a phone.
“Call me” he said with a laugh and wink. Then he continued his way, oblivious to - or maybe just ignoring - the way Rick looked at him, face reaching the peak of redness and not knowing what the hell had just happened.