Chapter Text
If Yugyeom were to go back in time, and place blame on the whole thing, he would say that it was because of Bambam.
He’s been dragged to a new restaurant in Hongdae that Bambam got invited to review on his blog, because Bambam always needs someone to help him take photos, and Youngjae has class.
Bambam is taking arty photos of the plating, and Yugyeom can’t eat his food until Bambam finishes taking enough pictures. His eyes scan the restaurant, taking in the other people. Like most of the restaurants Bambam drags him to, it’s upscale, full of trendy young people in expensive clothes who are there to see and be seen around other trendy young people. In a way, Yugyeom feels out of place. He’s young, but he’s just wearing the clothes he wore to university earlier that day for a seminar. He’s not dressed like Bambam, in painted on jeans and a designer shirt and shoes.
There’s a table of leggy girls, all taking turns to pose in front of the view for photos, a man eating alone with gusto looking as if he just stepped off a runway, and a couple still deciding what to order from the menu.
Seated closest to them is another couple, who seem to be sitting in silence. The woman is tapping away at her phone, while the man looks deep in thought. As if he senses Yugyeom looking at him, he turns to make eye contact with Yugyeom, and Yugyeom practically startles.
The guy is hot in that dark and serious way: black hair styled up off his forehead, eyes almost cutting in their intensity, and piercings shining in the dim ambient lighting. The woman sitting across from him is gorgeous, and they cut a striking image -- the two of them dressed in chic black clothes. It’s intimidating, Yugyeom thinks.
He turns away quickly, wanting to avoid the guy’s gaze. He can practically feel it on his back, and it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn’t like guys like that, that take up too much space in the room just by being there, like their presence somehow is better than everyone else’s.
Not Yugyeom’s type at all. He likes clean-cut and nice guys, who like dogs, and call their moms.
“There’s a guy staring at you.” Bambam says, unhelpfully, looking up finally from his camera.
“I know.” Yugyeom replies, finally allowed to take a bite from his plate.
“He’s hot.” Bambam says, clearly looking past Yugyeom’s shoulder to stare at the guy.
“Not really.”
“No, he’s like really hot Gyeom-ah.” Bambam says slowly.
“I’m not interested.” Yugyeom repeats, emphasizing the word ‘not’.
“I’m just saying. You’re single, and he’s staring.” Yugyeom just snorts.
“I’m not single enough to go for anyone who stares at me. He looks like a creep.”
“A hot creep!”
“We’re in a restaurant. He’s across from his girlfriend. What’s he even going to do?” Yugyeom asks. His very gorgeous girlfriend, Yugyeom can’t help but notice. There must be something on his face for the guy to stare at Yugyeom like that, instead of the beautiful woman sitting across from him.
“It could be his sister. Or a friend.” Bambam says, looking a little too excited.
“Just eat your food.” Yugyeom grumbles.
--
After they finish eating, Bambam has to take some photos of the restaurant, to properly capture the atmosphere, or something, and so Yugyeom goes to the bathroom while he waits.
He’s just washing his hands when the door opens, and someone else comes in the bathroom.
“Hey.” A voice says confidently from beside him. Yugyeom doesn’t turn, but flicks his eyes up in the mirror to find the guy from earlier standing beside him. He flicks his eyes right back down. Yugyeom has the instant urge to run away. He’s just trying to figure out what the guy wants from him.
“Hello.” He says, still not turning to face the guy, scrubbing his hands vigorously.
“I was looking at you earlier.” His voice is smooth and low. He’s clearly putting a tone on to try and impress Yugyeom or something, Yugyeom realizes.
“Oh.” Yugyeom replies, unsure how to even answer.
“Yeah.” The guy says. “I think you saw me looking at you.” He almost purrs. It’s distractingly hot, Yugyeom thinks, and then curses himself for thinking that. He’s not your type , he tries to remind himself.
“I guess I thought I knew you. But we haven’t met before.” Yugyeom lies.
“Im Jaebum.”
“Hmm?” Yugyeom asks, actually turning to face the guy, who flashes him a smile. It’s more predatory than friendly. He’s slightly shorter than Yugyeom but a bit broader, and it makes him seem intimidating.
“I’m Im Jaebum.” The man clarifies.
“Okay.”
“Usually, people offer their name in exchange.” Im Jaebum says, after waiting a beat and Yugyeom doesn’t give him his name.
“Good for them.” Yugyeom says. “But I don’t want to tell you my name.”
“Alright.” Im Jaebum says, like Yugyeom has just presented him with a challenge.
Except-
“Yugyeom? Are you in here? I need you to take photos for me.” Bambam says loudly, peeking his head in the bathroom. Yugyeom hits his fist against his forehead. Of course Bambam would do that, he thinks bitterly. Now the scary guy knows his name. “Oh. Sorry to interrupt.” Bambam says quickly, putting his hands up.
“You’re not interrupting anything.” Yugyeom says quickly, taking the opportunity to escape. He doesn’t miss in the mirror that Im Jaebum has a grin on his face as he watches Yugyeom flee.
--
Youngjae is already home from the veterinary clinic when they make it home, looking exhausted, but he lights right up when Yugyeom holds up the bag of leftovers.
“For me?” He asks.
“Duh.” Bambam says. “I’ll have to take you there sometime, I think you’d love the food.”
“Ugh. It smells good. I’m going to eat this and then pass out.” Youngjae practically groans.
“You need to sleep more hyung.” Yugyeom nags, only for Youngjae to roll his eyes.
“I know, I know.”
“Hey! What were you and that guy talking about?” Bambam asks suddenly.
“Which guy?” Youngjae asks.
“Nobody.” Yugyeom answers.
“This hot guy Yugyeom was talking to at the restaurant.”
“Ooh!”
“We weren’t really talking.”
“Then what were you doing when I came in the bathroom?”
“Nothing!”
“Yugyeom! It’s a sign!” Bambam hisses.
“A sign of what?” Youngjae asks. “That you’re insane?”
“We already knew that.” Yugyeom says.
“No! That you and the hot guy are meant to be!”
“The scary guy?” Youngjae asks Yugyeom, and he nods in response.
“No! He wasn’t scary. He was just, you know, the badboy type.”
“Yugyeom doesn’t like guys like that though.” Youngjae says. Bambam rolls his eyes.
“Thank you Youngjae.” Yugyeom says, slinging an arm around Youngjae’s shoulder, and ignoring the way his heartbeat speeds up. “The only person I can trust.”
“As you should.” Youngjae says with a yawn, leaning into Yugyeom.
“Yugyeom needs a boyfriend though.” Bambam whines.
“Let me live.” Yugyeom whines back. “I’ll find someone someday.” He says, eyes flicking to Youngjae, who just smiles at him.
“You will Yugyeom-ah.” Youngjae says. “You’d be a great boyfriend.” Yugyeom’s stupid heart flutters.
Youngjae is practically falling asleep in his food by the time he’s done.
“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Yugyeom says, and picks up Youngjae to carry him to his bedroom. Even though Youngjae is older than him, Yugyeom is taller and stronger. Yugyeom doesn’t mind though, he likes that he can manhandle Youngjae a little bit. He likes feeling manly and useful.
He averts his eyes as Youngjae strips off his scrubs, and puts on pajamas. Youngjae is even cuter when he’s in his pajamas, hair drooping onto his forehead. He watches Youngjae climb into bed and pull the covers up to his chin.
“Good night hyung.” Yugyeom says softly.
“Good night Yugyeom-ah.” Youngjae replies sleepily.
Yugyeom turns the lights off, and closes the door quietly behind him. He pauses, leaning against the door for a second, willing the blush on his face to go away.
It’s been like this for the whole time that he’s known Youngjae. From the first time that he saw Youngjae smile, he was a goner. And then they became friends, and Youngjae moved in with him and Bambam, and Yugyeom’s crush only got worse. Youngjae is kind, and cute, and hardworking, and everything that Yugyeom wants.
He can’t tell Youngjae, because he knows Youngjae and he knows that he’s painfully into someone else, a childhood friend of his. Yugyeom just tries to avoid talking about dating with Youngjae, because it hurts too much.
Youngjae and Bambam both have no idea, because Yugyeom is a baby and can’t tell Bambam about it, because Bambam would probably tell Youngjae, and Yugyeom doesn’t want to fuck up their whole friend group dynamic. It’s already bad enough that Mark knows, and he doesn’t even live with them. So Yugyeom is stuck with his stupid crush on Youngjae. Maybe he really does need a boyfriend. Except he just likes Youngjae.
Yugyeom flops down on his own bed in a heap, only for his phone to buzz as soon as he lies down.
evil hyung
Hey can you drop some stuff off at the studio for me tomorrow at lunch?
Remember that time...
gyeom gyeom
ya sure
evil hyung
I’ll send you the address!
:)
gyeom gyeom
ur blackmailing me, stop smiling
--
Yugyeom loves Mark, he really does. But Mark has been using the time that he found out about Yugyeom’s crush on Youngjae to make him do things for him for three months now. It’s incredibly inconvenient, if Yugyeom is being honest. But he knows that Mark actually would tell everyone about Yugyeom’s crush, and then Yugyeom’s life would be over. So here he is, forced to go out of his way before class to Mark’s new studio to drop off some lunch and papers.
He hasn’t been to Mark’s new studio yet, but it’s a fancy production house in Gangnam, close to all the other famous companies. Yugyeom can’t help but feel impressed as he waits in the lobby -- everyone working there seems to wealthy and effortlessly good-looking. There’s a few other people waiting in the lobby too, a girl in a sundress anxiously looking around, and a dark haired guy in a leather jacket leaning against the wall. Yugyeom’s eyes run over them, and then sweep back to the dark haired guy. He looks incredibly familiar, and Yugyeom’s mind flashes to the night before.
It’s definitely the guy from the restaurant — Im Jaebum, his mind unhelpfully prompts. He’s still dressed in all black, giving him a chic kind of air, and in daylight it’s even more evident how ridiculously good looking he is. He’s also staring back at Yugyeom and Yugyeom can’t help but freeze up.
The guy looks him up and down, and Yugyeom feels himself shiver a bit. Im Jaebum is scary, and somehow Yugyeom has managed to run into him twice in two days. He doesn’t know what he did in a past life to deserve this.
He hopes that the guy is just going to ignore him, but his hopes are dashed when Im Jaebum takes a few steps so that he’s within speaking distance to Yugyeom.
“You’re the guy from the restaurant. Yugyeom right?” Im Jaebum asks. Yugyeom contemplates lying for a second. He decides that there isn’t really a point.
“Yeah. Kim Yugyeom.” He says, and Jaebum’s smile grows bigger, like he’s just won something.
“Hello.” Jaebum says. “It’s nice to meet you. Properly.”
“Hello.” Yugyeom says.
“Do you work here?” Jaebum asks, cocking his head and staring at Yugyeom like he’s trying to see right into his soul or something.
“No. I’m just dropping something off for a friend.”
“Oh.” Jaebum says, looking somewhat disappointed, Yugyeom can’t help but notice.
A beautiful woman comes over to stand beside Jaebum, putting her hand on his arm. She looks vaguely familiar, Yugyeom thinks, but he can’t figure out where he’s seen her before.
“Jaebum-ah! Who’s this?” She asks.
“A friend of a friend.” Jaebum says smoothly, focussing his attention on her. His charm is laid on thick, and Yugyeom watches the woman practically melt.
“Yugyeom!” Mark yells. “Over here!” Yugyeom turns to see Mark running full-tilt towards him. “Thank you so much Yugyeom-ah!” Mark says with a grin. “Oh, Jaebum! I didn’t see you here. And Somi, hey!”
“Hey.” Jaebum says in response.
“Hello.” The girl says to him. “I just got your lyrics!”
“Do you like them?”
“I love them!” She gushes, and Yugyeom feels distinctly out of place.
“Jaebum, you know Yugyeom?” Mark asks, nodding his head towards Yugyeom.
“Just a bit.”
“I have to run hyung.” Yugyeom says to Mark. “I have class.”
“Alright. Thank you again.” Mark says and ruffles Yugyeom’s hair. He can feel Jaebum’s eyes on them, as if he’s trying to figure out how they fit together. It is a bit weird, that he knows a famous songwriter, but he knew Mark way before he was famous, when he was just writing songs for Soundcloud.
Yugyeom makes a hasty escape again, trying to avoid having to talk to Jaebum again.
--
He manages to calm down enough to make it through his class without yelling at anyone, and then escapes to the library to get some reading done.
Youngjae texts him to say that he’s going to stop by the library while Yugyeom is in between classes.
“Yugyeom-ah!” Youngjae says, waving excitedly at Yugyeom from the room. He looks soft and cute in his scrubs from the clinic, and Yugyeom feels his heart rate speed up just at the sight of him.
“Hey!” Yugyeom says, feeling a smile spread across his face.
“Mind if I sit?” Youngjae
“Of course!” Yugyeom leaps up to move his backpack off the chair across from him, and shift some of his books. “Here, take a seat.”
“Thanks Yugyeom-ah.” Youngjae says gratefully, and settles across from him.
They spend the rest of Youngjae’s break chatting about everything and nothing, and then Youngjae loses track of time and has to dash off to the clinic so he won’t be late. Yugyeom watches him leave, lab coat flapping behind him, and then lets his head slump to the table.
It’s moments like this that make Yugyeom unable to give up on his crush. Moments that give him hope that someday they could be something more than friends. He’s so fucked, Yugyeom thinks miserably.
--
The next week, Yugyeom gets another ominous text from Mark.
evil hyung
Mind if I borrow your voice for the background of a song?
gyeom gyeom
will u pay me?
evil hyung
Um
No
gyeom gyeom
no
evil hyung
But you have such a nice voice!
And i’ll tell yj if you don’t
gyeom gyeom
tell me where to go
--
He’s sung for Mark before, just here and there when the studio needs someone last minute. Yugyeom isn’t an amazing singer, but he isn’t a terrible one either.
But this new studio is professional, not just in someone’s basement or something, so Yugyeom isn’t fully sure why Mark is asking for him specifically. He assumes that a fancy place would have like in-house singers or something.
When he finds his way back to the studio, a stressed looking intern is waiting in the lobby for him.
“Follow me.” She almost growls, and drags him upstairs.
“Yugyeom-ah! Thank you so much!” Mark exclaims once Yugyeom is all but shoved in the door. “I owe you so much! Your voice is going to sound perfect-”
“Yugyeom.” Someone greets, interrupting Mark, and Yugyeom turns to see Jaebum in the studio too, dressed in his usual black and looking serious. Yugyeom offers a weak smile in response.
Of course Jaebum is somehow here, Yugyeom thinks. He must have killed somebody in a past life to deserve this.
“I’m the producer for this track.”
“Oh.”
“Mark insisted on bringing you in. He says that you have a great voice. So let’s see about that.” Jaebum says blankly and Yugyeom practically wilts. Fuck his life. “Right. So we’ll get you set up in the booth.”
Jaebum shows him how to use all the fancy equipment, and sets up his lyrics. Yugyeom practices a little bit, feeling nervous when Jaebum doesn’t respond at all.
“Ok. Go.” Jaebum says from the control board, and Yugyeom sings.
“We’ll go again?” Jaebum says after Yugyeom finishes.
So Yugyeom sings again.
--
“Again.” Jaebum says, eyes laser focused on Yugyeom’s. He sings this lines this time, inflecting the part he wants Yugyeom to inflect on. He has a nice voice, Yugyeom can’t but notice.
--
“Again.”
--
“Again.”
--
“Again.”
--
By the twentieth time he has to sing his lines again, Yugyeom snaps a bit.
“I’m just the back-up vocals.” He says.
“So? I want everything to be perfect.” Jaebum all but growls and Yugyeom winces.
“Look. I’m not even getting paid here. And I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing it for Mark.”
“I’m in charge here though. Mark’s just a writer.” Jaebum says and Yugyeom wants to roll his eyes. Mark isn’t even there anymore, so it’s just Jaebum and Yugyeom stuck together. “So, again?”
Yugyeom sings again.
--
Finally they get a take that Jaebum is satisfied with, and Yugyeom gets to flee. He swears that he only sings like three lines, and it takes two hours before Jaebum finally says they’re done.
“Good work today.” Jaebum says, face as stoic as ever.
“Thanks.” Yugyeom manages to squeak out.
Mark thanks him generously for coming in, and shoves some food in his arms before he goes.
It’s rush hour by the time he makes his way out of the studio, so the subways and buses will be packed. Yugyeom isn’t looking forward to standing in the packed train on the way to university.
Just as he’s contemplating if he really needs to attend class, a sleek black car pulls up to the curb beside him, and revs its engine. Yugyeom turns to see the passenger seat window rolls down, and Jaebum’s face appears. Of course he drives a car like this -- low, sporty, and expensive-looking. He suits it, Yugyeom thinks. A dangerous-looking man driving a dangerous-looking car.
“Get in.” Jaebum commands, eyes flashing in the shadows of his car.
“No thank you.” Yugyeom says, not unkindly. He doesn’t want Jaebum to run him over or something for turning him down. Jaebum just revs the engine again, louder this time. Yugyeom sighs. He can’t help himself. “Wow, revving an engine. How impressive.” He says, tone sarcastic.
“It should be. Do you know how much this car costs?” Jaebum asks, glare deadly now. Yugyeom feigns indifference. He wonders if Jaebum could actually kill someone with one look.
“No. And I don’t care.” Yugyeom says.
“The train is going to be busy. I can give you a ride.”
“No thank you.” Yugyeom repeats, more firmly this time. Jaebum revs the engine again. “Can you please drive away now? You’re causing a scene.” He is. People are slowing to watch the two of them, and probably stare at Jaebum’s stupid expensive car.
“If you just got in when I asked you, they wouldn’t be staring.” Jaebum retorts.
“You didn’t ask me. You told me.” Jaebum groans and opens his mouth to say something, but Yugyeom just turns on his heels and walks the way he came so Jaebum can’t keep following him. He doesn’t dare turn back to see what Jaebum is doing, too afraid that action will encourage Jaebum, make him think that Yugyeom cares about what he’s doing. Because he definitely does not.
He just doesn’t understand why Jaebum keeps appearing, and keeps talking to him. He’s a young producer for one of the hottest production companies in Korea, why does he even have time to think about Yugyeom?
Yugyeom doesn’t think about him. Never. Except, who does Jaebum think he is telling him what to do? Showing up in his car like that and bossing him around after being rude to him in the studio? Yugyeom can feel his blood pressure rise just thinking about it.
--
Yugyeom is at a party staring at Youngjae. His fingers are tight around his cup, and the music echoes around his skull but all he can see is Youngjae. He’s supposed to be having a good time, mingling with Bambam’s friends, but here he is being completely pathetic.
Youngjae is talking excitedly to his crush, and he looks so happy that Yugyeom wants to deflate like a balloon and disappear. He’ll never make Youngjae smile like that, he’ll never be able to wake up next to Youngjae and see his sleepy morning face, he’ll never be able to-
“Hey.” Mark says, nudging his side and interrupting his moping. “Why the sad face?”
“No reason.” Yugyeom says glumly. Mark catches onto his line of sight though.
“Yugyeom-ah.” Mark says softly. “Stop torturing yourself.”
“I’m not.”
“Then what are you doing?” Yugyeom doesn’t know what to say, because it’s pretty clear that he is torturing himself.
“Come on, let’s go get something to eat.” Mark insists, and drags Yugyeom away to the kitchen.
“Having fun?” Bambam asks, emerging out of nowhere.
“Yeah.” Yugyeom lies.
“I bet you wish hot guy was here.” Bambam says, teasing. Yugyeom groans, he thought Bambam had forgotten.
“Hot guy who?” Mark asks.
“Nobody!” Yugyeom says loudly. There’s no way he can tell Mark about Jaebum. No. It’s already bad enough that Mark and Jaebum work together.
“This guy we ran into at a restaurant.” Bambam answers with glee. “He seemed into Yugyeom.”
“He wasn’t.” Yugyeom says, unable to make eye contact with either Mark or Bambam. Because Jaebum definitely is not interested in him like that. Mark’s eyes widen suddenly, and he pulls Yugyeom away from Bambam.
“Gyeom-ah! This could be your chance!” Mark hisses.
“Chance to what?”
“Get over Youngjae! Be happy!”
“I’m not ever going to see that guy again.” He reminds Mark.
“If you do, you should take a chance.” Mark says anyways
“I’ll think about it.” Yugyeom lies.
--
From that point on, Mark seems to make it his mission to take Yugyeom’s mind off Youngjae. Suddenly Yugyeom is being invited out for movies with all of Mark’s friends, and Mark is dropping by campus on Yugyeom’s lunch breaks.
Yugyeom would be grateful if it wasn’t so tiring.
--
“Come out tonight!” Mark wheedles.
“I’m busy.” Yugyeom lies.
“With what?” Mark asks, eyes narrowed as if he knows Yugyeom is lying.
“Stuff.” Yugyeom clarifies. “Very important stuff.” Mark huffs.
“Come on, maybe it’ll distract you from Youngjae.”
“I don’t want to be distracted from Youngjae.”
Mark looks at him with sad eyes.
“I don’t want to tell you what to do. But doesn’t it seem shitty that you’ve liked the same guy for years and you can’t even tell him you like him?”
“It is shitty. I know hyung.”
“I just want you to be happy Yugyeom-ah.”
“Thanks Mark-hyung.”
“You know what? Fuck it. If you don’t come out with me, I’ll tell Youngjae.” Yugyeom groans.
“That’s a low blow and you know it.”
“I don’t care. There is going to be tons of hot guys there. We just have to get you looking hot as hell, and it’ll be easy for you to find someone new.”
So Yugyeom finds himself in leather pants and a silky blouse, borrowed from Bambam of course, winding his way through a crowded dancefloor to get himself a drink.
He’s just about at the bar when he catches sight of a familiar face. Jaebum is sitting between two impossibly beautiful girls. He doesn’t wave or smile but he raises an eyebrow at the sight of Yugyeom.
Yugyeom orders his drink, and then there’s someone beside him.
“Fancy seeing you here.” Jaebum says. Up close Yugyeom can see that he’s wearing a bit of eyeliner, making his eyes look even more lethal. He can also smell the liquor on Jaebum’s breath. “I almost didn’t recognize you in those clothes.”
“I look better in leather than you do.” Yugyeom says.
“Excuse you.” Jaebum says with a smirk. “You came here with Mark?”
“Yeah.”
“Jaebum-oppa!” One girl crows. “You’re taking too long!”
“Yeah, Jaebum-oppa.” Yugyeom says sarcastically, emphasizing the word ‘oppa’. Jaebum’s face contorts weirdly. “You should get back to them.”
“I will.” Jaebum says harshly, shoving past him then to get to the bar. Yugyeom feels a weird sense of regret. He doesn’t know how to classify their relationship exactly, but its something akin to co-workers. And he definitely doesn’t know how to classify their interactions.
When he walks back to his booth with his drink, Jaebum is back with the girls, but his eyes are focused intently on Yugyeom, expression unreadable. And Yugyeom can’t help but stare back. One girl is practically in his lap, while the other one is pouring him a drink. Yugyeom knows he’s staring but he can’t tear his eyes off Jaebum, off the girls’ roaming hands.
He isn’t sure exactly why the sight of Jaebum being flirted with makes him feel funny. It’s not as if he doesn’t know that Jaebum is good looking.
Yugyeom has only just found his way back to the table with Mark and some of his friends when a bouncer comes over and asks if they’re Mark and Yugyeom.
“Uh, yes?” Mark answers.
“Someone invited you up to the VIP area.” The bouncer says.
“Huh?”
“Come on.” The bouncer says, looking bored already.
“Let’s go.” Mark replies, looking excited. “I wonder who it is.” Yugyeom has a sinking feeling in his stomach that he knows who it is.
The bouncer leads them upstairs to the VIP lounge. Yugyeom has never been here before, and it’s full of beautiful people. He finds shy suddenly, out of place.
And sure enough, Jaebum comes over and says hello, eyes flashing dark, but otherwise showing no sign that he and Yugyeom had already spoken that evening.
“Jaebum!” Mark yells over the music
“Hey!” Jaebum yells back, clapping a hand on Mark’s back in greeting. Mark heads off to go talk to someone, leaving Yugyeom alone with Jaebum. “Hey.” Jaebum says after a beat.
“Hey.” Yugyeom replies. “You’re the one who invited us up here?” Jaebum nods. Yugyeom feels a sudden surge of braveness. “Why?”
“I just wanted to.”
“What about those girls?”
“I got bored.”
“So what, you want me to entertain you?”
“No. I just want to get to know you.”
“You can start by getting me something to drink.” Yugyeom all but drawls. If Jaebum is going to be an asshole, then Yugyeom might as well get something out of the night.
“Whatever you want. I’m not paying -- he is.” Jaebum says and nudges his head toward an older man, surrounded by people. “My boss.”
“Fine.” He says and orders himself a double drink.
“One for me too.” Jaebum says to the bargirl.
So Yugyeom gets a little drunk, just a little drunk. And Jaebum does too, if the way his eyes get hazy and unfocused is any indicator. They just sit there, drinking. The music changes, clearly the DJ has switched, and the music went from hip-hop to more upbeat RnB.
Yugyeom perks up at the first notes of one of his favourite songs.
“Oh my god.”
“What?”
“I love this song!” Yugyeom says, body standing up almost of its own accord.
“You listen to this kind of stuff?” Jaebum asks, watching Yugyeom curiously.
“Yeah. I love it.” Yugyeom answers, starting to sway to the beat. He raises his hands over his head and is just mostly flailing at this point.
“Nice dancing.” Jaebum says, clearly trying to hide his laughter.
“Like you could do any better.” Yugyeom retorts, and intensifies his flailing.
“Watch me.” Jaebum says, putting his drink down to stand up too. “I’m a great dancer.”
The last thing Yugyeom would have expected when he first saw Jaebum at the club was Jaebum flailing beside him to a Tinashe song. But this is what happens. Jaebum in his all-black outfit, hair done up to look cool, dancing like a limp noodle.
“I’m still better!” Yugyeom yells over the music, moving now to dance more seriously, shaking his hips.
Then Jaebum turns and wiggles his butt at Yugyeom. Yugyeom is pretty sure that he hasn’t laughed this hard in a long time. He body rolls his way over to Jaebum and starts to wave his arms in front of Jaebum and Jaebum waves his arms back so they’re almost slapping each other.
Jaebum is grinning at him crazily, and Yugyeom feels a weird sense of freedom.
The song ends, and Yugyeom collapses back into the booth, Jaebum beside him.
“I’m hot. Want to go get some air?” Jaebum asks, and Yugyeom just nods.
He leads Yugyeom up some stairs and through some doors, and they wind up on the rooftop.
“How do you know about this place?” Yugyeom asks, looking around.
“A friend of mine used to own this club. And they never changed the passcode to the door.”
“Whoa. Impressive.” Yugyeom says. His head already feels clearer.
“I used to be here almost every day, so I needed to escape from all the people.” Yugyeom hums in agreement.
“Why every day?”
“I was a DJ some nights, and then other nights I was just hanging out with my friend.”
“Huh.” Yugyeom says. Jaebum must be a dedicated friend.
“Yeah.” Jaebum says. Yugyeom wanders over to the edge, to look out over the city. It isn’t too cold, and the alcohol in his system is probably helping too. “Sit?” Jaebum asks, gesturing to a worn sofa tucked under a cropping of roof.
“Sure.” Yugyeom says, collapsing next to Jaebum.
“So what brings you out tonight? I don’t think I’ve seen you out with Mark here.”
“Mark-hyung comes here often?” Jaebum shrugs noncommittally. “I wouldn’t have pegged him for a club type.”
“You neither to be honest.” Jaebum says.
“Mark told me it would distract me from the person I like.” Yugyeom says, leaning back against the sofa.
“Hmm. Unrequited love?”
“Yeah.”
“Fuck that.” Jaebum says, stretching out his legs. Yugyeom laughs.
“I know right?”
“What’s she like?” Yugyeom almost snorts. Of course Jaebum assumes that he’s straight.
“Um… Cute? Smiley.”
“Mmm. I pegged you to like the cute type.” Jaebum says.
“Right.”
“But we live together.” Yugyeom says before he can stop himself.
“I thought you lived with two guys.” Jaebum says, and Yugyeom isn’t sure when he told Jaebum that. But maybe he’s drunker than he thought.
“I do.”
“You like guys?” Yugyeom pauses for a moment before answering.
“Yeah. You have a problem with that?” Yugyeom asks defensively. Jaebum is clearly straight, and he's already an asshole about lots of things.
“No! No. Not at all. But uh, you really like this guy?”
“Yeah. I like him a lot.”
“And you live with him eh?”
“Yeah.”
“That fucking sucks.”
“It does.”
“I know I don’t know him, or even you that well. But don’t you think it would be easier if you told him how you felt?”
“I can’t.”
“But at least then you could move on.” Yugyeom sighs.
“I know. All my friends keep telling me that I need a boyfriend.”
“It’s easier just to be single.” Jaebum says, stretching his arms above his head and putting one arm on the back of the sofa behind Yugyeom. Definitely not putting his arm around Yugyeom, Yugyeom reminds himself. “More fun.”
“Easy for you to say.” Yugyeom snorts into his drink.
“What does that mean?”
“You have people practically throwing themselves at you. You’re all dark and sexy.” Jaebum’s predatory smile makes a return.
“Dark and sexy hmm?” Jaebum asks, leaning in closer to Yugyeom. “I don’t know. You’re plenty attractive, especially in those pants. You know. To other guys.” Jaebum says, and Yugyeom watches his Adam’s apple bob. Yugyeom feels himself leaner into Jaebum too, suspended in some kind of feeling he can’t identify.
“Not to Youngjae though.” Yugyeom replies. “Sadly.”
“You never know. But I’m just saying that you should try to move on.”
“Yeah. I know.” Yugyeom says, sighing heavily. He feels suddenly exhausted. “Shit. I shouldn’t have had so much to drink.” Jaebum snorts at that.
They sit there for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of the city. He gets a text from Mark shortly after, asking if he’s ready to go, and Yugyeom quickly messages back.
“I should head out. Mark’s ready to go.” He says to Jaebum.
“Alright, let’s go.” Jaebum says. They make their way back downstairs, to the hallway where Mark is waiting.
Yugyeom stumbles, but Jaebum catches him easily, and shifts him closer to Mark.
“Thanks.” Mark says to Jaebum in a weird voice. “He’s just like a noodle when he’s drunk.”
“I’m not.” Yugyeom says, but his limbs are feeling kind of noodle-like.
“Bye.” Jaebum says, staring at Yugyeom.
“Bye.” Yugyeom says back, and Mark is hauling him in a cab.
--
Mark and Yugyeom are in the cab on the way home, when Mark speaks to him.
“I didn’t know you knew Jaebum that well.”
“I don’t.”
“He’s… an interesting person.”
“He’s a jerk.” Yugyeom slurs.
“He’s not that bad.” Mark says. “He’s just... intense.” Yugyeom snorts.
“That’s one way of putting it.”
“I didn’t expect you two to get along so well.” Mark muses.
“Me neither.” Yugyeom responds. “I didn’t think he liked me very much until tonight.”
“What were you guys even doing?”
“Oh. We went up to the rooftop and just talked.”
“About?”
“Stuff.” Yugyeom answers. “I told him about Youngjae for some reason.”
“You told him about Youngjae? Why?”
“I don’t know. I’m drunk.” Yugyeom replies. “What does he care?”
“Jaebum is just… I’ve heard him say a few things about being gay. I just want you to be careful.”
“He seemed okay.” Yugyeom adds. Mark sighs.
“That’s exactly the problem.”
--
Yugyeom doesn’t see Jaebum for another six weeks. He’s busy, between class, and trying new restaurants with Bambam, and crushing on Youngjae, and TAing, and he doesn’t think about Jaebum.
--
But then Yugyeom’s phone rings one day while he’s in his tiny graduate student office at university. He ducks out quickly, bowing apologetically to the others for disrupting them.
“Hello?” He hisses into the phone.
“Hey. Uh it’s me. Jaebum.”
“I know who it is.” Yugyeom says.
“Right.”
“How did you get my phone number?”
“Oh. I asked Mark.” Yugyeom just hums. “I was wondering if you could come in and do some recording?”
“For a song?”
“Yeah.”
“Can’t your studio afford back-up vocalists?” Yugyeom finds himself asking. Jaebum laughs.
“Yes. We can pay you if you want.”
“What? Mark said I wouldn’t be paid.”
“He was lying.” Jaebum says.
“So you’ll pay me then?”
“Yes.” Yugyeom thinks about it for a moment. He’ll have to deal with Jaebum’s perfectionism-bordering-on-assholeishness, but he’ll get paid. As a grad student, he can never complain about a paycheque.
“Fine. But you can’t yell at me too much.” He concedes. Jaebum laughs again.
“I’ll text you with the details when I have a studio booked.”
--
Jaebum texts him the next Tuesday, asking him to come in on Thursday afternoon. Yugyeom is a bit nervous to go back and sing for Jaebum, but he’s being paid at least, so he can keep that in his mind.
This time Jaebum comes and fetches Yugyeom from the lobby himself.
“Hey.” He says coolly.
“Hey.” Yugyeom says in response, voice cracking.
“You can relax. It’s just me.” Jaebum says. That’s exactly what Yugyeom was fearing.
“I’m relaxed.” He says instead.
Jaebum shows him to a different studio than the one they were in before. This one is bigger and brighter, with more intense sound equipment.
“Whoa.” Yugyeom says, looking around. He’s never been in a studio this fancy before. “What’s all this for?”
“Oh. I’m putting together a demo album for a company and I want you to be the lead vocal.” Yugyeom’s jaw drops.
“Me?”
“Yes.”
“Uh.”
“Do you have a problem?”
“No! No. I just thought I was here to be background vocals on a B-side or something.”
“I was impressed with your vocals last time, so I thought you’d be a good fit.” Yugyeom is pretty sure that his brain is short circuiting at this point.
“Thank you. I mean, uh. Wow. Um.” Yugyeom says and winces at his own awkwardness.
“Shall we get started then?” Jaebum asks, ignoring Yugyeom’s weirdness.
An hour passes quickly, with Yugyeom running over the songs a few times, and then recording a few sections. Jaebum is exacting and demanding, and Yugyeom has to remind himself more than once that he’s being paid so he doesn’t yell at Jaebum.
“I just like things to be perfect.” Jaebum says when Yugyeom asks.
“It’s a demo. That’s the point of it - that it isn’t perfect.” Yugyeom snaps back.
“One more time.” Jaebum says in response, putting his headphones on.
--
“Does this time work for you each week?” Jaebum asks when they’re packing up.
“Hmm?”
“Does this time work for you, or do you have class or something?” Jaebum clarifies.
“No, uh, this time works for me. I just have to leave by four in order to make it to university on time.”
“Ok. Good.” Jaebum says, flashing an uncharacteristic smile, rather than a smirk, at Yugyeom. “So I’ll see you next week?”
“Sounds good.” Yugyeom says, even though it kind of doesn’t sound very good at all.
--
A few weeks pass. They finish recording one and a half songs, just barely. Yugyeom wants to throttle Jaebum most of the time, but they do kind of make a good team if he isn’t lying to himself. Jaebum stretches his abilities and pushes him to limits of his singing. It had always been a casual thing up to this point, but now he does things like actively try and take care of his throat because Jaebum will yell at him more if his throat is in a bad condition.
Yugyeom still gets nervous when he has to go into the studio, but it doesn’t seem as bad as it was the first few times. Or maybe he’s just getting used to Jaebum.
But then Mark corners him one day at school though, practically going out of his way to hunt him down.
“Mark-hyung?” Yugyeom asks when one of his co-workers says there’s someone lurking in the hallway for him.
“Mmm.” Mark says in response, looking surprisingly menacing.
“Uh, what are you doing here? I don’t think we had plans to meet.”
“We don’t.”
“Okay.”
“Jaebum told me you’re working with him on a demo album?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“You didn’t tell me about it.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Well you see him every week at my work, so I just figured you’d tell me.” So Mark is mad then, that Yugyeom didn’t tell him. “Instead Jaebum told me.”
“Ah.”
“I thought you two didn’t get along.”
“We don’t. Kind of. But he asked. And I’m getting paid.” He glares at Mark with his last sentence.
“Okay. Okay. I get it.” Mark says. “I just- you didn’t tell me. And you’re hanging out with Jaebum suddenly and-”
“Hyung. It’s okay. I promise. He’s not being mean to me or anything. Well- not really. He asked me to help out so I agreed. It’s not anything deeper than that.” Mark narrows his eyes.
“It better not be.”
“Yeah, what am I going to do? Fall in love with him? Right.” Yugyeom says, rolling his eyes dramatically. He can’t help but want to laugh. Mark might not know it, but on one hand he’s telling Yugyeom to like Jaebum, albeit he doesn’t know it’s Jaebum, and on the other hand he’s telling Yugyeom to stay away.
--
“What have you even been doing lately?” Bambam asks. “I feel like you’re never home.”
“Uh, well, just school. And I’ve been going to the studio. It turns out that the guy I met at the restaurant works with Mark hyung, and he asked me to help-”
“You’re working with hot guy?” Bambam asks, eyes bugging out of his head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Your reaction is probably why.” Youngjae says with a laugh.
“It’s not like that. I’m just helping him out. And he’s really not that hot.” Yugyeom says, but the last part is a lie. Jaebum is really hot, in that intense, asshole kind of way.
“Helping him out?” Bambam asks, waggling his eyebrows. Yugyeom just rolls his eyes.
“I’m singing for a demo. And he’s paying me, unlike Mark-hyung.”
“Ooh, so just the two of you in the studio? Singing about love? Who knows what could happen!”
“Literally nothing.” Yugyeom says. “We work together. That’s it.” He says, trying to look away from Youngjae. He can’t help but remember Mark telling him to take a chance on Jaebum. As if.
“Alright. Keep us posted though.” Bambam says.
“He doesn’t like this guy.” Youngjae chimes in. “Leave Yugyeom-ah alone.”
“Yeah Bambam.” Yugyeom says, pouting and leaning into Youngjae.
“Our Yugyeom-ah is too good for him.” Youngjae says, and Yugyeom’s heart clenches.
--
The weeks seem to go past even faster, with Yugyeom falling into a pattern of work-school-sleep-sing.
Mark seems to accept that Yugyeom is working with Jaebum, and even seems satisfied when Yugyeom is too busy to hang out.
And in a weird way, Yugyeom is so distracted that he doesn’t spend much time with Youngjae. It seems like the two of them see each other only in passing -- going in or out the door, or walking past each other on campus. This situation makes dealing with his crush easier, because Youngjae isn’t always there , distracting Yugyeom. He isn’t in the kitchen in his pajamas studying, or bringing Yugyeom a coffee between classes, because Yugyeom is so busy.
He can see Youngjae’s face fall when Yugyeom has to run out the door to meet Jaebum, or go to class. But there’s nothing he can do really.
“Yugyeom-ah, you’ve been so busy lately!” Youngjae says one night while they’re eating dinner.
“I know.” Yugyeom says.
“We need a night for just the two of us. I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long!”
“Deal. Um, how about this Saturday?”
“I’m free!” Youngjae exclaims, flashing one of his signature grins. Yugyeom can feel himself melting back into his crush.
“I can’t wait hyung!” He hears himself say, heartbeat thudding in his ears.
“We can get dinner, and watch a movie, and -” Yugyeom tunes him out, disappointed by his inability to say no to Youngjae. He just can’t. Not when Youngjae is there, and looking that cute.
—
Saturday comes quickly. Too quickly, Yugyeom thinks, and he’s being forced out to dinner with Youngjae and then they come home to watch a movie. Youngjae is setting up the TV so they can watch a movie, and Bambam is out at some new buzzed-about restaurant. So Yugyeom is trapped alone with Youngjae. It could be a date, and Yugyeom wants it to be a date, but Youngjae doesn’t think it’s a date. Yugyeom internally groans. His phone buzzes.
Im Jaebum
Hey, I know this is last minute, but is there any way you can come to the studio tonight for one last recording session?
The company pushed up the deadline.
I’ll pay you extra for your time.
“Ah shit.”
“What is it?” Youngjae asks.
“I think I have to cancel on the rest of the night hyung. I have to go to the studio.”
“It’s nine at night though.” Youngjae says, looking at him funny.
“I know. Sorry Youngjae-ah, this is the last opportunity we have to finish up. Another time though, for sure!” Yugyeom says.
“Do you have to go?” Youngjae asks, almost pouting. If Yugyeom were weaker he wouldn't be able to resist.
“I am being paid. So probably, yeah.”
“Yugyeom-ah! This was supposed to be the night we hung out!”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you though, I promise!” Yugyeom says. Youngjae just sighs.
Kim Yugyeom
ok
ill meet u there
--
Jaebum looks unusually frazzled when Yugyeom gets to the studio.
“Sorry to make you come in on a Saturday night.” He says, and he actually looks apologetic.
“It’s fine.” Yugyeom says. “Don’t worry about it.” He isn’t sure if he means that or not.
They get to work straight away, just re-recording a few lines here and there from the different songs.
After what feels like an eternity, Yugyeom begs off to take a break and go to the bathroom, tired from Jaebum’s demands.
When he comes back, someone is singing. Yugyeom’s mind flashes to the first studio session with Jaebum how he sang. Because it’s Jaebum singing. He has a lovely voice, Yugyeom realizes, that somehow soars through the notes. It’s nothing like before when he just kind of hummed the tune, this is Jaebum belting it out.
Yugyeom hovers outside the room for a few more seconds until Jaebum finishes, eager to hear more, and unsure if Jaebum would even want him to hear.
He heads back in tentatively, showing no sign that he’d heard Jaebum singing.
“Ready to finish up?” Jaebum asks.
“Yeah. Let’s do it.”
Somehow Yugyeom loses track of time. He and Jaebum have never been more productive, and he doesn’t even realize how late it is until he looks down at his phone only to see that it’s past midnight at this point. He and Jaebum have been in the studio for hours.
“Whew. All done.” Jaebum says. “I think we’ve got it.”
“Uh, it’s almost one in the morning.”
“What?” Jaebum asks, and then checks his own phone. “Shit! I didn’t mean to keep you so late.”
“It’s fine. But we’re good now? I can head out?”
“Yeah. Here, I’ll drive you.” Yugyeom grits his teeth. He isn’t sure why Jaebum is so fixated on driving him home.
“I’m fine, I can take the train. I have a pass.”
“Let me fucking drive you home Yugyeom. Who knows what could happen on the train at this hour.” Yugyeom practically sees red.
“What the fuck? You don’t have to be so weird about it. I’m fine. I’m a grown-up.”
“Barely. You look like a kid.” Jaebum scoffs.
“So what, I need protecting? You don’t think I can take care of myself?” Yugyeom asks, allowing himself to raise his voice.
“That’s not what I meant.” Jaebum says.
“It’s what it sounds like. Asshole.” Yugyeom says, disappointment evident in his voice and turns to leave. There seems to be a pattern to their interactions, and he’s growing tired of it. He doesn’t get more than two steps away though, before there’s a hand on his wrist, pulling him back.
Jaebum practically reels him in. Yugyeom is taller, so technically it’s Jaebum looking up at him, but the way he’s looking at Yugyeom makes him feel small. Jaebum has him pulled almost right to his chest.
“What do you want?” Yugyeom spits out.
“Will you walk with me then?” Jaebum asks, eyes looking at Yugyeom so intensely, he feels like he might actually fall over.
“What?”
“If I can’t give you a ride home, then can I walk you home?” Jaebum asks, and they’re so close that Yugyeom swears that he can feel Jaebum’s heart beating. “I asked you to come so late. I don’t want something to happen to you because of me.”
“I have to take the subway to get home.” Yugyeom blurts out. “It’s kind of far.”
“Then can I take you home on the subway? Please?” Jaebum asks, voice uncharacteristically soft. “It’s late.”
“I can get home just fine.” Yugyeom assures him, experimentally tugging his arm out of Jaebum’s hand, but Jaebum just pulls him closer.
“Please.” Jaebum asks again. Yugyeom should say no. He really should.
“Yeah. Whatever.”
Jaebum releases Yugyeom’s wrist, seeming almost reluctant.
They close up, and head out, walking in silence to the subway station, side by side, despite the empty streets. Occasionally, Jaebum’s arm will brush against Yugyeom’s. It isn’t unwelcome, Yugyeom realizes. Jaebum is warm and steady beside him.
It’s sort of strange to see Jaebum in a normal situation, like taking the subway. He doesn’t look uncomfortable, but he looks somewhat out of place. He looks like he belongs in a world of fast cars, flashy watches, and. Not the bright-white world of the subway, and the last of the people trickling home at the end of the night.
It’s quiet on the train, most people having long gone home. Yugyeom stares at their reflections in the window of the traincar. Jaebum is looking down at his hands. His profile really is handsome, Yugyeom thinks. It’s not fair for someone to be that handsome.
Jaebum must sense Yugyeom looking at him, because he looks up to the window, and looks at Yugyeom in the reflection. It’s oddly intimate. The rest of the train ride is spent in silence, looking at each other’s reflection, and then looking down again, trying not to get caught staring.
Yugyeom really isn’t sure what to make of it.
He leads them off the subway at his stop, and directs them to the building where his apartment is.
“This is me.” He says, sweeping his arms in front of the building. “Thanks for walking me, even though you really didn’t have to. Like at all.” He shoots Jaebum a glare.
“Thank you. For letting me.” Jaebum says, ignoring Yugyeom’s glare.
“Alright. Well. I should head up.”
“Yeah.”
Yugyeom takes that as his cue to leave, and walks in. Just before he opens the door to go inside, he allows himself to look back. Jaebum is staring at him, hands in his pockets. Yugyeom waves at him meekly, and he swears that the corners of Jaebum’s mouth turn up a bit. So he can smile sometimes, Yugyeom thinks to himself as he makes his way up to his apartment. He isn’t a totally unfeeling robot.
“Hey.” Youngjae says from the sofa when Yugyeom gets inside the apartment.
“Hey.” Yugyeom responds, walking past him on the way to his bedroom. "You're up late."
“Yugyeom-ah?”
“Yes?”
“Who was that?” Youngjae asks, curiosity evident in his voice.
“Hmm?”
“Who was that just now who dropped you off?” Yugyeom pauses for a second, unsure how exactly to classify Jaebum.
“Just… Someone. A friend I guess.”
“Anyone I know?”
“I don’t think so. I met him at university.” He lies.
“Oh. Okay. You should invite them over sometime.” Youngjae says. “I want to meet him.”
“I’ll see. He’s pretty busy.” Yugyeom says with a fake smile.
He’s in his room when he realizes that Youngjae must have been watching at their window to see Jaebum. Youngjae must’ve been bored, Yugyeom figures, because he had to cancel their night together. He briefly feels a pang of guilt, but then again he’s trying to get over Youngjae, so maybe it’s a good thing that they don’t spend as much time together. Maybe Jaebum was right, and he needs to work harder to get over Youngjae.
Just as he’s about to go to bed, his phone buzzes, and Yugyeom looks to see a text from Jaebum.
Im Jaebum
Hey, I just wanted to say thank you again for helping me with the demo.
I really appreciate the help.
Kim Yugyeom
no worries!
He doesn’t respond beyond that, unsure what to even say. Their commitment to each other is over now that the demo is done. He won’t have to see Jaebum again. Thank god, Yugyeom thinks.
--
Despite his relief to be done, the first two Thursdays after Yugyeom finishes up in the studio, he feels a bit off. It’s just his routine being broken, he tells himself, nothing more than that. It’s just a pattern he was in, it has nothing to do with Jaebum. Nothing.
But Yugyeom can’t help but wonder if the album is done, if Jaebum has submitted it, and what the studio thought of it. He was part of it, he was the main vocal, which honestly Yugyeom still isn’t over. He’s never thought of himself as being a particularly good singer, but Jaebum seems to put more faith in him than he’d put in himself.
It felt kind of good honestly, to be more than just a grad student, even if just for an hour or so every week.
--
“You seem kind of sad lately. Is something up?” Youngjae says one day while they’re in the library studying.
“I’m not! I’m totally fine.” Yugyeom replies quickly.
“You just don’t seem yourself.”
“I’m just busy.” Yugyeom says. And it’s true. He is busy.
“You’ll feel better soon then Yugyeom-ah!” Youngjae exclaims, and flashes him a smile.
“Of course I will.” Yugyeom says, smiling back at Youngjae. If his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, Youngjae doesn’t notice.
--
One day after that, Yugyeom gets out of his night class to find Mark waiting for him.
“Mark-hyung?”
“Hey. I’ll give you a ride home.” Mark greets, and walks off leaving Yugyeom to follow him.
“Thanks hyung.”
“No problem Yugyeom-ah.” Mark says with a small smile.
It’s only once they’re in Mark’s car that Yugyeom realizes that he’s somewhat cornered.
“So you’re all done now with recording?” Mark asks nonchalantly as he starts the engine.
“Yeah.”
“Good. That’s good.” Mark responds.
The car is silent for a moment before Yugyeom decides to go for it.
“Hyung, why don’t you like Jaebum?”
“I don’t- uh… I don’t not like him.”
“It seems like you do.”
“I’m just worried about you. I’ve seen him be weird about gay people, and I want to make sure he didn’t say anything to you.”
“He never did. He’s actually been pretty supportive.” Mark almost chokes on a cough.
“What? Jaebum?”
“Yeah. I told you he wasn’t that bad.”
“But, supportive?” Yugyeom hums. “Weird. Very weird.”
“No offense, but you’re kind of being the weird one here.”
“What? Why?”
“You’re kind of fixated on me being friendly with Jaebum.”
“I’m not!” Mark exclaims, but then falls silent. “Wait-”
“It's fine. You’re just funny.”
“I’ll show you funny!” Mark says, and lifts one hand off the wheel to punch Yugyeom lightly. “Hey - did you ever see that guy again? The one Bambam was talking about?” Yugyeom tamps down a laugh.
“Uh, no. I guess we just met the once.” He lies. Mark nods.
“Well, there are plenty of other guys out there. I’m sure one of these days you’ll meet a nice one who likes you for you.”
“Hyung, I’m really fine. I don’t need to date.”
“But you shouldn’t be hung up on someone who doesn’t like you back.”
“I know. That’s what Jaebum says too.” Mark’s face tightens.
“Yugyeom-ah-”
“Can you just drop it hyung? Please?” Mark just sighs.
“Fine.” And then, “Do you want take-out?”
--
Yugyeom has only just gotten home when his phone rings. Yugyeom looks down to see that it’s Jaebum calling. He hesitates, but picks up anyways.
“Hello?”
“Hey! Yugyeom. Um hello.”
“Hey.” Yugyeom replies lamely. “What’s up?”
“Um, I just wanted to know if you wanted to listen to the final version before I submit it to the company?” Yugyeom pauses for a moment to think about it. He doesn’t need to. Technically his obligation to Jaebum is non-existent. He’s not being paid, and he isn’t even fully sure if he likes Jaebum or not. But all the same.
“Uh-”
“You don’t have to, of course. You’re busy with school. I just thought I’d ask, but it’s no big deal.” If Yugyeom isn’t mistaken, there’s a distinct note of disappointment in Jaebum’s voice. He clears his throat.
“I’ll see if I can make some time.” He says.
“Okay. Text me, or call me, just let me know what works for you.” Jaebum says, clearly trying not to sound too happy.
Yugyeom hangs up and stares at his phone in disbelief. Jaebum genuinely gives him whiplash. He’ll be yelling at him one second, then asking to drive him home the next, and then asking him if he wants to listen to their finished album after. Jaebum makes no fucking sense.
--
Yugyeom ends up having a class cancelled the next week, because the professor is away at a conference. He could use the time to study, or hang out with Youngjae and Bambam. That’s probably what he should do.
Kim Yugyeom
hey
i’m free next week on Wednesday at 2?
Jaebum messages him back immediately.
Im Jaebum
Perfect!
I’ll see you then!
--
“What are you up to today?” Bambam asks Wednesday morning over breakfast. “Wanna go see a movie or something because you don’t have class?”
“I have to head into the studio.”
“I thought you were all done?”
“I am. Jaebum invited me to listen to the album though.”
“And you’re going to go?”
“Yeah.” Bambam hums.
“He seems to want to spend a lot of time with you.” Bambam says, voice light.
“Yeah, because we work together.”
“Do you like him?”
“What? Jaebum?”
“Yeah.”
“Uh, no. Like not at all.” Yugyeom says, eyes widening in horror. “Why?”
“I was just wondering. Because he seems to want to spend a lot of time with you, and you seem to want to agree.”
“It’s not-”
“Okay. I get it.” Bambam adds. “I guess I misread the situation.”
“Yeah.” Yugyeom says, but his cheeks are turning red for some reason. Jaebum? Him? As if.
--
Jaebum meets him in the lobby of the company in the afternoon, face as stoic as ever. He’s wearing all-black of course. He waves slightly at Yugyeom though, a reminder of the time that he walked Yugyeom home.
“Hey. I wasn’t sure if you’d have time to come in.” Jaebum says when Yugyeom is close enough.
“I had a class cancelled.”
“Oh. Well, I’m glad you could make it.”
Jaebum directs him upstairs, away from the main studios. Yugyeom has never been to this part of the building before.
“Where are we going?”
“My studio.” Jaebum says, and unlocks a door.
“Yours?”
“Yeah, I just thought I’d show you here rather than in the lobby or something.” Jaebum explains, sounding oddly sheepish.
Yugyeom allows himself to look around. Despite all the times he’s been to the studio, he hasn’t been inside Jaebum’s personal studio, where he works. Jaebum’s scene seems to be unabashedly his. There’s a huge bookshelf filled with books on all kinds of subjects, another huge shelf full of records, and a cozy looking couch.
“It’s so… you.” Yugyeom says.
“Is it?”
“Yeah. It’s like being inside your mind. Well, how I imagine your mind.”
“If this is my mind, how come you’re in here?” Jaebum whispers, so quietly that Yugyeom figures it isn’t meant for him to hear. He doesn’t say anything, but this could also be because of the lump that has come up in his throat.
“Why don’t you sing?” Yugyeom asks, just to change the topic.
“What?”
“I’ve heard you sing a few times now. You’re good enough.”
“Me?” Jaebum asks with a laugh.
“Yeah.”
“I’m not that good of a singer. Besides, I just like being behind the scenes.” Jaebum says with a shrug.
“You could though. If you wanted. You’re good looking, a good singer. You could be famous.” Jaebum snorts.
“Yeah? What about you? You’re more of the idol type than I am. Girls would go crazy for you.” Jaebum says, before adding, “Boys too.” Yugyeom rolls his eyes.
“Right. Well, in case chemical engineering fails for me, I have a backup plan.” He says sarcastically.
“I have some contacts.” Jaebum says, in a joking voice. “Just let me know.”
“I’ll do it only if you do.” Yugyeom teases.
“Here.” Jaebum says, thrusting a pair of headphones into Yugyeom’s hands. “Let me know what you think.”
Yugyeom puts the headphones on, and Jaebum starts to play the demo. It isn’t quite what he’d imagined it would sound like -- the sound is much more RnB, more sensual. Yugyeom can’t deny it, his voice sounds good. He sounds like a real singer, not just someone who sings sometimes as a favour. He taps his fingers along to the beat. When he looks over, Jaebum is looking at him closely, as if scrutinizing his reaction.
“It’s uh, it’s good.” He says, pulling his headphones off. “You did a good job. It sounds great. I bet the company is going to love it.”
“You did a good job too.”
“Me? No. It’s all the producing.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you.” Jaebum responds. “You had the perfect voice for the project.” Yugyeom blushes. He’s never heard Jaebum voice that aloud. Mostly he just yelled at Yugyeom, or told him to sing again.
“Thank you.” He mumbles.
“No problem.” And then, “You should be more confident about your singing.”
“It’s not my job or anything. I’m not not confident about it though.” Yugyeom says. “Thank you. And thanks for showing me the demo. I think it’ll go over well.”
“I hope so.” Jaebum says, and they stand there, staring at each other for a moment.
“Alright, I’m going to head out then?”
“Yeah! Um, sure.”
“Okay.” Yugyeom says slowly, unsure what else to say. “I’m-”
“Hey! Um. Do you want to come to a launch party that the studio is throwing?” Jaebum asks quickly, interrupting Yugyeom. Yugyeom falters.
“Party?”
“Yeah.”
“I could.” Yugyeom says.
“Okay. I’ll text you the details?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
“It’ll be fun. I promise.”
“Are we, um, friends now?” Jaebum blinks at him, clearly not expecting that question. “Never mind.”
“Yeah. I think we’re friends now.” Jaebum answers slowlyy
“Okay. Is that okay?”
“Of course.” Jaebum responds with a small smile.
“I’ll be at the party then.” Yugyeom says. “But I really have to go now.”
“Oh, right! I don’t want to keep you.”
“I’ll text you!” Jaebum calls out as Yugyeom closes the door, and it feels more like a hello than a goodbye.