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Today is not the best day for photography. In fact, there hasn't been a best day in four months because Jonathan is dealing with stupid shit like feelings and trauma that won't go away. He's sitting on his porch, watching spring come into bloom, trying to snap a decent photo that isn't blurry. His mom and Will are out at the matinee, but of course Jonathan didn't want to go. He thought that maybe, since it was a beautiful day and he was alone, he could take some pictures. As if. His viewfinder is shaking again, making it look as if the wind is rustling the trees even though it's dead calm. His only coping method is scrapped.
"Byers!"
Jonathan drops his camera in his lap and looks to the driveway. Walking towards him is Steve Harrington, hands in his pockets and an easy grin on his face. It makes Jonathan's heart skip a beat to see him so healthy and happy. Spring is a good look on him, but of course Jonathan will never tell him that. Ever.
"Steve."
Steve stops just a few feet into the driveway and gestures back out towards the street. "Come walk with me."
"Walk with you?"
"Yeah. It's a fine day."
The more sane part of Jonathan's brain is screaming at him to stay put and not make an ass out of himself, but his emotional side is asking him what he's got to lose. Since the answer is nothing and it is a fine day and he really does want to go on an afternoon walk with Steve Harrington, he puts the camera strap around his neck and goes to catch up with the other boy.
"Knew I'd get through to you eventually," Steve says, grinning. They turn onto the road, headed away from town.
"Why are we walking?" Jonathan asks, not that he minds.
"I - um - it's a nice time for a walk?"
Jonathan doesn't have to look at Steve to know he's lying. "What happened?"
Steve sighs, shoving his hands deeper in his coat pockets. "My parents kicked me out. And they got to my keys first."
Jonathan's taken aback, to say the least. He didn't know Steve was even spending enough time in his house to cause trouble, what with school and the kids and Nancy. "Why?"
"Does it matter?"
Jonathan shakes his head. "Your business."
They walk quietly along the dirt road lined with bright wildflowers and newly budded trees. After the past two years, spring has quickly become Jonathan's favorite season. Everything is fresh and airy and all the troubles of winter get washed away with March's and April's rains. Not to mention that Steve is walking just a few inches away from him, and his cologne is mingling with the flowers to make a scent that's just as good as Nancy's almond-cherry shampoo, if not better.
"Are you okay?" Steve asks abruptly. Jonathan glances at him.
"I'm fine," he lies.
"It's just - your hands are shaking."
Jonathan knows this already. He wraps his fingers around his camera. "No, they're not."
"Dude, they've been shaking since we left your house. It's like you're on steroids."
"I told you, I'm fine. You're seeing things."
"Are you sure?" Steve stops walking but Jonathan stubbornly keeps going.
"I'm fine, Steve."
"I never said you weren't!"
"You implied it!"
"Jonathan -"
"Can't you just mind your own damn business?!"
"Jonathan!"
Finally Jonathan stops and turns around to look at Steve. Steve pulls his hands out of his pockets and spreads them out in a helpless gesture. "Come on. I'm on your side."
Jonathan sighs and nods his head. Steve smiles, jogging to catch up with him. "Sorry," Jonathan mumbles when they start walking again.
"I get it, man. But it's been four months - you gotta start dealing."
Jonathan gives him a half-hearted glare. "Not all of us can shrug off possessed brothers and interdimensional monsters as easily as you can, Steve."
"You think I shrugged it off?"
"You babysit the kids and you hang out with Nancy and your grades are good. You seem happy, like you're already over it."
"Everyone seems happy, dumbass. Even the Chief seems happy. Maybe some of it is true, I guess, but I'm still getting over it." Steve runs a hand through his hair. "That's why my parents kicked me out. I blew up at them. Punched my dad, actually."
"Nice."
"Yeah. I bailed before he could get me back, though. The point is, I kept everything locked up for so long. They have no idea what I - we - went through. It's like the only person I can talk to about it is Nancy, but she's dealing with her own shit so I keep it to myself. That's what you're doing, Byers. You're gonna explode if you don't talk."
Jonathan keeps his mouth shut for a moment, surprised with Steve's depth of understanding. It's kind of agitating, knowing that everything he said is right. "I can't talk to my mom or Will - they both got the worst of it so they're helping each other. And like you said, Nancy has her own problems."
"You can talk to me."
Jonathan thinks it's a joke, but when he looks at Steve, there's just understanding and concern in his eyes. "Thanks."
"Anytime." Steve, clearly uncomfortable with deep conversations, changes subject. "How are you and Nancy? I haven't touched her, I promise - she made her feelings clear."
"Um, we're fine, I guess. Friends, maybe? I don't know. We don't really talk about it." We don't talk about how she still loves you. We don't talk about how I know it. We don't talk about how I want you too and how I think she knows it but won't say anything yet.
"Well, you guys deserve each other. Honestly, no hard feelings."
"Right." Desperate to get his mind away from his relationship troubles with Nancy and his unrequited crush on Steve, Jonathan searches for something to take a picture of as they walk. Finally he spies a blue jay, flitting around the rebirthed leaves of an oak tree. He stops in his tracks and Steve stops with him, watching as he lifts the camera to his eye. But everything is quivering again. The bird is hopping closer and closer to the edge of the branch, ready to take flight. Come on. Just one photo. One photo to take my mind off things. One photo to make things better. One photo to prove I'm fine. One photo to -
"Jonathan." Steve's warm hand gently comes down on top of Jonathan's shaky left. Jonathan freezes, staring at that blue jay through the viewfinder, and suddenly everything is steady and clear despite the dizziness in his head. He snaps the photo with his right hand and knows it'll be the best picture he's taken all afternoon.
He lowers the camera, swallowing back his adrenaline as he looks at Steve. The other boy grins, moving his hand to lightly punch Jonathan's shoulder before he starts walking again. "Come on, let's go find some more birds and nature shit."
Jonathan nods. He takes just a moment to collect himself, letting the wave of contentment and happiness wash over him, and finally his feet start moving again. "Hey," he calls.
Steve stops a few yards ahead and turns to look at him. "Yeah?"
"Thank you."
Steve just gives him that manic, shit-eating grin again and shakes his head. "My pleasure, Byers."
Jonathan's hands don't shake for the rest of the day.