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“LULU!” Taako shouted maybe a little too loudly, earning him glares from others trying to get a few more minutes of sleep in the not particularly comfortable shelter cots.
“You don't have to be that loud, you know I'm a light sleeper,” grumbled Lup.
“But-”
“No buts, Taako. For that intrusive behavior, I'm ignoring you for five minutes.”
“Fantasy Gordon Ramsay's visiting the area!” Taako blurted before Lup could turn over. She immediately looked directly at him.
“Taako, you'd better not be fucking with me this time.”
Taako immediately looked chagrined. The twins' fallout after he'd pretended they were going to one of Fantasy Mario Batali's shows was something best forgotten. “No, Lup. I will never again say anything on the subject of live cooking shows that is anything but the truth.” He shuddered.
Lup looked satisfied, then rolled over. “I'll squeal over this with you in five minutes.”
A bit more than five minutes later, the twins were practically skipping towards the square where Fantasy Gordon Ramsey's wagon was set up. It was already packed with people of all races, trying to catch a glimpse of the acclaimed chef. Taako and Lup pushed through the crowd, ending up fairly near the middle, next to a gnome and a group of humans who the twins quickly realized were only there on a dare. The gnome started up some idle conversation, which the two mostly tuned out until she asked, innocently enough, whether they were going to raise their hands when Fantasy Gordon Ramsay asked for audience volunteers.
“When he asks for what?” Taako screeched.
“You didn't know? It was on all the posters,” said the gnome.
“Well, I didn't read the posters fully. I saw the words Fantasy Gordon Ramsay, and I was already sold,” responded Taako.
Lup butted into the conversation. “My brother has something of a one track mind.” Taako kicked her.
“Sibling rivalry aside, are the two of you going to raise your hand?” The gnome quickly interrupted the squabble.
“Of course! This is a chance to cook for my idol! Why wouldn't I?” Taako's eyes were shining.
Before he could say more, the crowd hushed as one as Fantasy Gordon Ramsay appeared.
To practically everyone's delight, Fantasy Gordon Ramsay demonstrated his signature Beef Wellington. The twins were enthralled by the chef's masterful use of seasoning, his impressive knife skills, and everything else. The show, and the Wellington, were nothing short of masterpieces.
And, at last, it came time for audience participation. Fantasy Gordon Ramsay was looking for three volunteers to recreate the Beef Wellington. Nearly every hand in the crowd shot up, including Lup's and Taako's.
In his Fantasy British accent, Fantasy Gordon Ramsay called out who he wanted to come to the wagon and cook. “Let's have the dwarf near the back left with the beard about the length of your entire body- yes you, come on up. And let's have the halfling right up here, near the stage, with the “Kiss the Cook” apron, let her through please. And-” Fantasy Gordon Ramsay scanned the crowd. “Let's have the elf near the middle with the stereotypical wizard's hat.” Taako nearly fell over backwards.
Lup was already trying to get him a path through the crowd. As Taako passed her, she asked, “You think you can impress him?”
Taako laughed. “If he's comparing me with those two, I don't see how I couldn't. Look at their fashion sense, if you could even call it sense.” Lup laughed as Taako made his way towards the wagon.
His station was already prepped with all the tools, appliances, and ingredients one needed to make a Beef Wellington. Taako immediately started cooking. He was chopping his mushrooms, absentmindedly transmuting them from button mushrooms to portobello to porcini, when Fantasy Gordon Ramsay stopped him.
“What do you think you're doing?”
Taako paused, confused. “Cooking, chef.”
“No you're not! You're fucking transmuting your mushrooms! You're not even paying attention!Do you know how dangerous that is? You could make them poisonous, and then you might fucking kill people! Are you trying to kill me?”
“No chef!”
“That's good. You still might have, though. Get the fuck out!”
Taako wandered away like a kicked puppy. Lup came over to him. “Taako, you alright?”
Taako turned to face her. He was smiling like a maniac. “I'm better than alright. I got yelled at by Fantasy Gordon Ramsay.”