Chapter Text
“Hoseokie hyung…” Jungkook groans, stretching himself over Hoseok’s lap. “I’m so fucked.”
Hoseok absentmindedly pats the younger boy’s head, too focused on the video recording of himself practicing the latest choreography. “There there, what’s wrong now?” The footwork needs some more work, and some of the arm movements look too awkward to achieve the graceful yet tragic atmosphere he is trying portray. There are only so many weeks left before the big end of the year showcase and Hoseok is determined to prove to the older members of the dance team that he had the talent and the dedication to choreograph and perform a solo piece perfectly.
“I… I have no clue how to deal with this. I don’t even know how to talk to him anymore,” Jungkook continues, unbothered by the fact that Hoseok is clearly not paying attention. “I wish Yoongi hyung never said anything about anything. I wish it wasn’t so awkward between us anymore.” He buries his face in his hands. “I miss being best friends with Taehyungie hyung. I… I miss him.” His voice is muffled by the sleeves of his oversized sweater, but Hoseok can hear the trembling of his voice.
Hoseok pauses the video and takes out his earphones, sighing. The gang had gone out drinking a couple weeks ago. It was a good time celebrating the end of midterms. Thinking about it, Hoseok and his friends celebrated any occasion they could. They went out for karaoke to congratulate Jungkook for making the dance team (it came as no surprise, really; the youngest is possibly the most talented little shit Hoseok had ever seen). They drank to Namjoon’s new mixtape, staying out till ungodly hours trying to outdrink each other (this was a bad night, Hoseok remembered, wincing. He was hungover for days afterwards). Jin hyung cook them two buffets before they went home for winter break to mark the survival of another semester (Hoseok had eaten so much that even his grandmother back home didn’t feel the need to offer him seconds for Christmas dinner).
It was a good time, couple weeks ago. They went to their usual bar — a small, cozy place off-campus where the owner recognized them and gave them free food to go along with their alcohol. As usual, their order of soju and beer continued throughout the night, fueled by the relief of surviving midterms and the oncoming dread of the end of the year. Their conversations stayed light, never maintaining silence for too long. It’s been at least a couple of days since the boys have caught up with each other, given their hectic schedules and study sessions. After a couple of rounds of drinking games, alcohol buzzed in their systems and their cheeks flushed with the warmth. Jungkook and Taehyung were attempting to explain their latest gaming shenanigans to a desperately lost Jimin while Yoongi demanded attention from his younger friends loudly. Jin and Namjoon were conversing quietly about their plans for the weekend and Jin smiled as Namjoon shared his latest personal project with his eyes lit up and hands gesturing wildly for emphasis. Hoseok smiled at this sight: his friends all gathered in one place, with good food and good alcohol, enjoying each other’s presence. It was very nice, he had thought, to be able to just relax without worrying about tomorrow, to be able to spend quality time with some of his favorite people in the world. At least, it was until a little too drunk Yoongi hyung decided to speak.
“You know, Jungkook-ah, it isn’t nice to keep ignoring Taehyung’s feelings for you…” Yoongi hyung drawled, his Daegu accent making an appearance with his lowered inhibition. Yoongi had lived in Seoul for almost eight years now and only with the presence of alcohol did his Daegu dialect become noticeable. One would think, with an alcohol tolerance as high as Yoongi’s, it would be rare that he became drunk. But to Yoongi, it just meant that he could drink more and faster than his friends before they became equally wasted. His cheeks were flushed red and his words slurred. He had himself practically draped over an equally tipsy Jimin, who was also laughing too much to keep the two of them upright. “It’s so obvious. He’s trying so hard you know? You’re being mean,” he sang, wagging his finger as if to scold.
Taehyung spit out his soju, coughing while a panicked Jin hyung hit him on the back a couple of times. Jungkook had flushed completely red in a way that had nothing to do with the alcohol buzzing in his system.
“What,” Taehyung choked out, sounding surprisingly sober, “the hell are you talking about hyung?”
Yoongi clicked his tongue as if he were berating two naughty children. “You don’t need to pretend, Taetae. I know everything . You guys are really bad actors. Taetae, are you sure you’re staring in the fall musical?”
The table fell silent. Namjoon and Jin hyung shared anxious knowing looks. Jimin had stopped laughing and slapped a hand over Yoongi’s mouth in an attempt to shut him up. Hoseok felt that something was going on — something he was not quite aware of. He looked around as his friends stared at the table, refusing to make eye contact with him, or with anyone else, for the matter.
“What,” Hoseok demanded, breaking the silence. “What in the name of hot diggity dog is going on?” No one answered. “Yoongi hyung, what do you mean Kookie is ignoring Tae’s feelings for him?” he asked but was only met with soft snores that suggested that Yoongi had fallen asleep on Jimin, oblivious to the storm he had just called forth. Hoseok silently cursed Yoongi’s habit of napping when he got drunk. The table was dominated by a suffocating silence that made even Hoseok itching to leave. This was not how he imagined the night going.
“I, uh, better get Yoongi-hyung home safely,” Jimin spoke up. Hoseok sighed in relief as his friends mumbled agreements and shuffled around to gather their jackets and belongings.
The next morning, Yoongi woke up to a terrible hangover and pages of text messages from his friends yelling at him about his questionable life choices the night before. Later that day, Yoongi called his friends to apologize and to let them know that he’s sworn off alcoholic beverages for the rest of his days. Everyone understood this as “three days at the longest.”
Hoseok thought that the tension between Taehyung and Jungkook had dissipated over the last week. Yet here is Jungkook, opting to watch Hoseok practice and analyze his performance instead of participating in his weekly lunch with Jimin and Taehyung. Looking at the younger boy now, Hoseok sees just how distressed Jungkook is. His usually well-groomed appearance looks disheveled: his hair looks messy and not in a good way; his eyes have dark circles under them and are red around the edges; his clothes, although not spectacularly coordinated normally, are wrinkled and mismatched. Hoseok also knows for a fact that Jungkook hasn’t been sleeping well, waking up before the sun did to leave before Taehyung wakes up and staying at the dance studio way past curfew to sneak into his dorm after his roommate had fallen asleep.
Hoseok frowns at his friend. “You know it was just Yoongi hyung drunk-talking, right? There’s nothing to be embarrassed or stressed out about. I’m sure Taehyung understands that.”
Jungkook fidgets with his head bowed and eyes lowered. Hoseok watches incredulously as the red that blooms at Jungkook’s ears slowly spread to the rest of his face and down his neck. “Um, maybe it wasn’t completely unfounded?”
“What?! ”
“I swear, I had no thoughts about this before Yoongi-hyung mentioned it!” Jungkook exclaims. He doesn’t quite meet Hoseok’s eyes and it’s foreign to see someone as confident and cocky as Jungkook so flustered and nervous. “But once I started thinking about it, I couldn’t stop and then I started noticing everything Taehyungie-hyung did and fuck.”
Jungkook is nearly tearing out his own hair out of frustration and Hoseok is utterly lost. “For fuck’s sake, we woke up in the same bed the morning after that night. In the same fucking bed ! I think we cuddled during the night? How could we have the audacity to cuddle after what Yoongi-hyung accused us of?” Jungkook hissed. “Thankfully, I woke up before he did but his face, oh god his face. It was so… beautiful . I didn’t know what to do with myself so I left. I haven’t talked to him since and it’s so difficult to avoid him but I… I don’t know what to do.” Hoseok watched as his younger friend seemed to physically deflate. Jungkook closes his eyes and rubs the space between his eyebrows, sighing. “I notice everything , Hobi-hyung. His stupid smile, the way he laughs, how much he loves to break out into random songs… His weird tendencies and personality, the moles on his face and how much I want to kiss them…”
Hoseok has no idea how to proceed. He taps his laptop awake and quickly logs onto his Facebook and finds Taehyung’s name on his friend list. He types and sends, yo come collect your man. To Jungkook, he says, “Have you… talk to him about this?”
The younger boy sighs and rakes his hand through his hair, causing it to stand up even more. “And what do I say? Turns out I’ve been in love with you since forever? I didn’t realize it until Yoongi hyung got shitfaced? I just want to kiss you for the rest of my life?” Jungkook groans in frustration and falls back onto the floor. “I’m so fucking whipped and I can’t even do anything about it.”
At least you know, Hoseok thinks but does not dare say out loud. Lately Jungkook’s been hitting the gym and he doesn’t want his underclassman to destroy him. He checks Facebook and sees that Taehyung is online and has read his message. Hoseok adds, QUICKLY!!!!! HES A MESS. were at the dance studio. bring jimin too.
“Why can’t you do anything?” Hoseok asks Jungkook, nudging him with his foot to make sure his friend is still breathing.
“Because,” Jungkook replies after a moment of silence. His hands cover his face again as if he’s too embarrassed to admit anything without hiding. “I couldn’t face the rejection. And plus, on the slightest chance that he feels the same way about me, there’s no way we could date or whatever.” Hoseok frowns but Jungkook doesn’t give him a chance to respond. “We have such a good dynamic. Not just me and Taehyungie-hyung, but all of us. I don’t want to do anything to ruin that.” Jungkook sits up suddenly. He looks so torn up and hurting, with his brows drawn together and his round eyes filled with a sad determination and his teeth chewing on his bottom lip so hard that it looks like it might draw blood. Hoseok feels a stab of hurt for the younger boy. “I-you all are so important to me and if Taehyungie-hyung and I started dating and the seven of us drifted apart from each other, I don’t think I’d be able to stand it.”
Hoseok smiles softly. “Since when have you grown so much? Worrying about other people. You’re just a baby, you know. Don’t try to act so grown-up.” Jungkook’s frown deepens. “You don’t have to worry about that,” Hoseok continues. “Even if the relationship between the two of you change, the rest of us won’t just up and leave. We might change but it doesn’t mean the end. And change isn’t always a bad thing, you know.” Hoseok reaches over to trap Jungkook in a headlock and ruffles his hair. It draws a smile and a quiet laugh from the younger and it’s the first time Hoseok’s heard Jungkook laugh all day. “So don’t be so concerned about the what-ifs and just go for it, if that’s what you want.”
A notification pops up on Hoseok’s laptop and it’s Taehyung. ??? im in my dorm by myself. isnt jungkook with chimchim already? what are you doing there hyung? Hoseok’s eyes widen as he realizes what was happening. He doesn’t know whether to laugh at the stupidity of his younger friends or to cry for poor Jimin who got stood up by both his friends who believed the other would be present to their meeting. Hoseok closes his laptop shut, grumbling about stupid boys with stupid crushes, and their inability to communicate, leaving their friends stuck in the middle. He grabs Jungkook’s wrist and pulled him up with him. “Come on, dumbass, we’re going to go pick up Jimin from the cafe and then I’m going to drop you off at home. Then Jimin and I are going to go grab a late lunch while the two of you talk.”