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“I’m gonna ask a question and I need an honest answer,” you huff as you settle into the open seat beside Natasha and drop your backpack onto the ground with a thud, “do I have some marking somewhere that indicates I’m not interested in romantic encounters? Because, like, I’ve been trying and I’ve had absolutely zero luck.”
Natasha doesn’t bother to look up from her textbook. Instead, she reaches a hand out to pat your shoulder and shakes her head. “No, you’re just a terrible combination of oblivious and awful at flirting,” she hums, her tone beyond bored, as she flips a page.
“Oblivious?” you question as you tug your own book from your bag, “How am I oblivious?”
Natasha raises an eyebrow and lifts her head enough to glance across the table at Wanda. “You want to tell her or should I?” she questions with a slight grin.
“There have been a few suitors,” Wanda assures you with a laugh, “you just haven’t noticed their efforts.”
When you fix her with a blank look, Natasha closes her book and turns to face you. “Are you that oblivious to flirting or just so hopelessly in love with Barnes that it keeps you from noticing others?”
“I’m not in love with Bucky!” you sputter as you hang your head. “And I’m not oblivious to flirting! No one has flirted with me. It’s not a thing that happens.”
“What about the guy in your chem lab that brought you coffee?” Wanda questions with a pointed look.
“Or that girl in your anthropology class that asked you to go see Rocky Horror with her last Halloween?” Natasha adds, an amused grin on her face at the sight of you burying your face in your hands.
“Or when Sam’s friend asked you to check out that comic shop with him?” Wanda continues and you groan in response.
“Chem guy was just repaying me for writing our lab report, anthropology girl was being friendly, and I thought Sam’s friend had a girlfriend!” you mutter, your voice muffled by the table top as you drop your head to rest on the cool wood.
“Chem guy still has heart eyes every time he sees you on campus, anthropology girl actually said that she wanted it to be a date, and Sam’s friend didn’t have a girlfriend, she’s his cousin,” Natasha informs you with a pat on your shoulder. “You’re just really fucking oblivious.”
“Why didn’t either of you tell me?” you question, your voice whiny and your eyes wide as you lift your head to look at them both.
Natasha rolls her eyes at your antics as she shoves her book and laptop into her bag. “Thought you were fine on your own, Miss Independent,” she laughs as she shakes her head. “Seriously, you talk so much about how you’re fine being alone that all of us just thought you wanted to be alone. Then when you started to wonder why no one ever wanted to be with you, we realized it was a defense mechanism to guard your heart. Which,” she hums, “is bullshit, by the way. What’s life without a little heartbreak?”
Wanda nods solemnly at this sentiment and places a hand on yours. “We realized you were afraid of getting your heart broken so we didn’t push but if you’re really interested in getting out there, you have to drop the walls,” she informs you with a gentle pat.
“Fuck,” you groan as you press your free hand to your temple, “I guess you’re right. I’ve just been so nervous about dating that I didn’t really let myself entertain the idea. I don’t think I was that oblivious, just unwilling to see what was in front of me.”
Natasha smiles at your breakthrough and pats your shoulder. “Proud of you for realizing you’ve been sabotaging yourself,” she hums, “but it came at the worst fucking time. It’s literally Valentine’s Day. Everyone’s already coupled up.”
“I know,” you groan as you slump in your seat. “I wanted to go out or something tonight but there’s going to be couples everywhere and I’m afraid I’ll look weird on my own. Ugh,” you huff as you glance over at her, “think everyone’s busy tonight?”
“Sam and I are having dinner, Steve’s got a date with Peggy, Wanda’s going to dinner with Vis, Clint’s got archery practice, Pietro’s got track practice, and Peter’s working on a science project with Ned,” she informs you with a grin.
There’s a name noticeably absent from her list of those with plans and you know that she wants you to ask about him, to ask if he’s free so that she can tease you about your love for him, but you can’t help yourself. You have to know. So, you swallow your pride and ask, “What about Bucky?”
Natasha grins at your question and raises an eyebrow. “What about Bucky?” she questions, feigning innocence. “You’re not in love with him or anything, what does it matter if he has plans?”
You can feel your cheeks heating under Wanda and Natasha’s combined stares and you want to crawl under the table to hide until they leave but you just shrug. “Just wondering,” you hum, “you guys have plans, thought I’d hang with him if he didn’t. I don’t particularly wanna hang out alone tonight.”
“Well,” she begins with a smirk, “as luck would have it, I know that Bucky is free and that Steve will be at Peggy’s and Sam will be at mine. So, you guys will have the apartment to yourselves.”
You command your cheeks not to heat at the comment but you can’t help it. With a groan, you raise your middle finger and shake your head. “Glad I won’t have to listen to you and Sam go at it like rabbits,” you huff as you slump in your chair once more. “He really needs a new bed frame. The one he’s got is really fucking squeaky.”
Wanda laughs at your comment while Natasha rolls her eyes. “At least I’m getting some,” she teases before she stands and grabs her bag. “I’ve got to head to class. Seriously, though, go hang out with Barnes. Maybe there’ll be a Valentine’s miracle.”
“Right,” you huff as you shove your own books back into your bag. “Have fun tonight, be safe!”
“Always,” she returns with a grin at you and Wanda, “same to both of you! See you tomorrow!”
You watch Natasha leave the library before you turn back to Wanda. “Guess you have to go, too?” you question with a sigh.
“Yeah,” she informs you with a small smile. “But Nat’s right. You should spend time with Bucky. You never know what will happen.”
“Mm,” you nod, although your skepticism is clear, “it’ll be another night of eating pizza and playing Mario Kart but, I mean, at least neither of us will have to spend Valentine’s alone.”
Wanda shrugs at your comment but grins at you nonetheless. “You never know,” she hums as she stands. “I’ll see you tomorrow! Don’t stay up too late!”
“Same to you! Don’t let Vis keep you out all night!” you tease before you watch her disappear behind the stacks.
With a sigh, you pull your phone from your pocket and open up yours and Bucky’s message thread. ‘You busy tonight?’ you ask, although you know he’s not.
‘When am I ever?’ comes his reply, almost instantly.
‘Usually when I need help moving something. Want to hang out? My turn to buy pizza,’ you return as you sling your backpack over your shoulder and head for the exit.
‘I’m down,’ he replies. Seconds later, another text follows, ‘We can watch horror movies. Very anti-Valentine’s.’
‘There’s a reason I keep you around,’ you return with a laugh, ‘I’ll be by later. Let me know when Steve and Sam leave.’
‘Will do,’ he promises, ‘You know where the key is. Let yourself in when you get here. I’ll be listening to the Smiths in my room, alone, in the dark.’
‘Can’t wait to join the goth fest,’ you return with a laugh, ‘Save some tears for me. I’ll see you tonight.’ With your final message, you shove your phone in your pocket and set about trekking across campus to your last class of the day.
It’s eight when Natasha texts you to tell you that Sam and Steve have both left and, although you figure you should probably wait for Bucky to give you the okay to head over, you think nothing of it. You both drop in on one another unannounced all the time. It’s never been a big deal before. It shouldn’t be one now. So, after a ‘thank you’ text to Natasha, you tug on your sneakers, grab your bag, and head out of your apartment.
When you arrive at Bucky’s apartment, you don’t think twice as you grab the spare key and let yourself in. The living room is dark, as expected, but you don’t hear Bucky’s usual playlist or the sounds of a video game coming from his room. With a frown, you kick off your shoes by the door and wander down the hall to Bucky’s room. You’re expecting to find him sprawled out on his bed, phone on his chest and headphones covering his ears as he sleeps but that is nowhere close to what you find.
Bucky’s door is cracked and you reach out to push it open only to be stopped by the low moan that pierces the silence. Your eyes widen as you peek through the crack and you struggle not to make a sound as you find Bucky sprawled out on his bed, naked. His head is thrown back, eyes shut tight and lips parted as low noises of satisfaction spill from them. His hand is wrapped tightly around his cock and his pace is quick as he seems to be nearing his end.
You watch, unable to tear your eyes away, as he smears pre-cum down his shaft. Another low noise leaves his mouth before you hear him breathe your name. Your heart nearly pounds out of your chest as you figure you’ve been caught but his eyes never open. His pace never falters. Instead, your name is followed by a string of curses. “Fuck,” he grunts, his hand moving quicker, “feel so good around me. So fucking good for me.”
Your breath catches in your throat as you watch Bucky reach his peak, your name on his lips as his hand and stomach are coated in cum. You want to move, to run back into the living room and pretend that you just got in, that you didn’t see the events of the past few moments unfold, but your feet feel as if they’re nailed to the floor. You’re conscious of the fact that your eyes are wide and your mouth is agape but, try as you might, your body doesn’t seem to be reacting to the screaming voice in your head telling you to move. Instead, you can only watch as Bucky opens his eyes and finds you standing in his doorway.
“Shit,” he breathes as he scrambles to cover his lower half. “Fuck,” he huffs as he tugs the sheet up and around him, “we’re gonna have to get a bell or some shit to put on you. Too fucking quiet.” He’s making light of the situation but you can see the panic in his eyes as he takes in the look on your face. “I, uh,” he begins slowly, “uh, how long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough,” you breathe, finally finding your voice, “sorry, I, uh. Sorry.” You pause for a moment as your body finally begins to listen and your eyes snap shut. “Uh, I didn’t mean to see anything. I just didn’t hear the goth party starting so I figured you were asleep.”
Bucky shakes his head but, when he realizes you’ve shut your eyes, he breathes, “Not asleep. I, um, what did you hear?”
Bucky is dreading your answer but when you whisper, “I heard my name,” he wants the floor to open up and swallow him whole. If it had been anyone else, anyone but you, he’s sure he would have had the best line possible spilling past his lips. He would’ve asked if they wanted to join him, to give him a real reason to call their name, but with you? With you, it was different.
It all feels so fucking cliche and Bucky doesn’t know what to do. He’s used to being the charming one, the one that doesn’t have to go out of his way to get a date on his arm, but whenever he’s around you, that charming ladykiller person falls away and Bucky Barnes is just that, Bucky. He doesn’t worry about what line to use or what words to say to make you blush. He just worries about enjoying his time with you. And now that you’ve seen him like this, he’s certain that he’s well and truly fucked.
Unfortunately, not literally.
“I’m sorry,” he breathes after a beat of silence. “I, uh, thought I had time before you got here. Was waiting to text you so this didn’t happen.”
“Nat texted me,” you inform him sheepishly, “I should’ve texted you to be sure. I’m sorry.”
You’re both quiet for a moment as you finally allow your eyes to open once more. You lift your head and meet Bucky’s gaze almost instantly. The blue of his eyes has always made your knees weak but now, with the knowledge of what he was doing with thoughts of you in his head, you can’t help the feeling that swirls in the pit of your stomach.
“If you want to go home, I get it,” Bucky begins after an eerily long stretch of silence. “Um, if you want to not hang out anymore, I get that, too.”
“What? No!” you assure him quickly. “No, I’m fine. I just, I don’t know. This feels like a lot.” Bucky nods but says nothing as you step into his room and fall into the chair at his desk. He notices that you keep your eyes away from him and focus on the pictures that litter his walls as you breathe, “I mean, you were jerking off and you said my name.”
“I was thinking about you,” he confirms with a sigh, “I, uh, didn’t think I’d ever tell you that but, I guess, here we are.”
“Why?” you question as you finally lift your eyes to meet his gaze once more. “Like, why me? Why not that cute girl from your chem class or that one from yoga?”
Bucky stares at you for a moment before he shakes his head. “I thought you knew,” he laughed, “but I guess you really are oblivious. I’ve been into you since we met at freshmen orientation. You always talked about how you didn’t want to be in a relationship so I thought you knew and you were just telling me you wanted to be friends.”
“You’ve liked me since freshman year?” you breathe, shocked at his confession, “Bucky, why didn’t you say something?”
“What do you say to the person who doesn’t want to be in a relationship?” he questions with a frustrated laugh. “I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship so I let it go.”
“I didn’t want to be in just any relationship,” you sigh, “I don’t know. I was talking with Nat and Wanda. They said it was a defense mechanism and that makes sense. I just, I don’t know, I’m afraid. I don’t want to get my heart broken.”
“I can’t promise I won’t break your heart,” Bucky breathes as he shifts in his bed, “but I can promise that I’ll try my hardest not to.”
“I don’t know what to say, Buck,” you breathe.
“Just say you’ll be mine,” he returns with a small smile.
Bucky’s heart leaps into his throat when you say nothing but the anxiety that wells in the pit of his stomach is soothed when you stand from your chair, move to take a seat beside him on his bed, and lean in to press a chaste kiss to his lips. “Only if you’ll be mine,” you return with a small smile.
Bucky grins at your words, his smile blinding and his eyes sparkling, as he nods. “Of course, doll,” he laughs, “I’ve been yours this whole time.” The two of you let yourself fall into the moment before Bucky shifts and the reality of the situation returns to him. “Um, I hate to ruin a moment,” he laughs, “but I’m still naked and a bit of a mess. Mind if I clean up and then join you in the living room?”
You giggle at the sight of Bucky’s flushed cheeks and nod. “Course,” you laugh as you stand from his bed, “I’ll go order pizza.” Bucky watches happily as you nearly skip out of his bedroom. The grin on his face fades, however, when you return and peek in. He can see the mischief in your eyes and almost groans at the words that spill past your lips. “Maybe later I can show you how good I really feel,” you tease with a wink before you rush back down the hall to the living room.
You’re going to be the death of him and somehow he can’t really bring himself to mind.