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Magnus presents her with her options, a stack of folders, a list of names. It's a formality. Every name on the list is a real person to her now. But he pulls a folder from the pile and puts it on top, tapping it.
"You want to look at this," he says. "Before you make your call."
Thea would wonder if he was questioning her ability to work with Zoe if not for the fact she knew better. Hesitantly,she took the folder.
"Sir?"
"Put your team together. Your way. This is your mission, Thea. I know it doesn't seem that way, but I'm not here to step on your toes. I trust your judgement. It's why you're here," Magnus says, squeezing her shoulder. "Meeting's bright and early. Make your call. I'll see you tomorrow."
Thea opens Zoe's file, and the top page is a mostly blacked out report from psych services. The date on the file is just days old and it takes everything Thea has not to throw the file across the room.
Historically, Thea has a rule against this, against sleeping with people she'll see again, against seeking out people she's already taken apart. But Zoe. She can't walk away from this, not knowing what she knows.
She knocks at the door, wondering, belatedly, if she should've called first. It's late and dark and the last thing Thea means to do is put Zoe on edge. Thankfully, the other woman answers the door seemingly no worse for wear. Maybe a little tired. Except she's clutching a sig, which maybe someone else would've missed. But Thea's operating on hypervigilence these days.
"I wasn't expecting anyone," Zoe says, and she sounds tired. Thea's chest aches, an entirely unfamiliar feeling she doesn't care to think about just now.
"I know. I'm sorry. I wanted to talk..."
For a few seconds, Zoe studies her, and then something clicks and she lets out a quiet laugh, stepping back to let Thea inside.
"I'd ask who spilled the beans but I don't think it matters," Zoe says, going to the fridge, retrieving them each a cold bottle of water.
"I...Magnus and I were putting the team together for the mission tomorrow. He wanted to make sure I had all the relevant information," Thea explains, taking the bottle and perching on the arm of the couch.
"Yeah, well. I'm cleared. But I understand if you don't want me on the mission. Coogan'll be more than happy to go along." Zoe shrugs. Thea waits but she won't look up.
"I don't want Coogan, Zoe. I want you. Look, paperwork is just paperwork. I wanted to hear it from you, that you're okay," Thea says gently. "And I promise this'll be the only time I ask. I trust you."
"I'm fine," Zoe says, finally looking up at Thea.
"Okay.Then it's settled."
"That all you wanted, Agent?" Zoe asks after a beat and Thea grins, grateful to hear Zoe sounding like herself.
"You're tearing him to shreds, right?" she asks.
"That's the plan," Zoe agrees.
"Good. Let him fucking rot."
"Has anyone ever told you you're hot when you're angry?" Zoe asks.
"You just think I'm hot all the time." The ease of the banter loosens the knot in Thea's chest.
"Can you blame me?" Zoe nudges her shoulder.
"Mmm, no," Thea allows with a grin. "But you're not so bad yourself, Sergeant."
"You don't have to call me that..." Zoe murmurs.
"You started it." Thea's used to hating her title, it's one that's been thrown in her face a million times, especially since being here, surrounded by people who are nothing but resentful of the Agency's involvement in something they view as an in-house matter. But Zoe's never meant it as anything but a teasing barb.
"Thought you liked it when I called you 'agent'."
"I like you calling me just about anything," Thea decides, knowing she has to draw the line here somewhere. She has no right flirting with Zoe. But she can't help it.
"Noted," she whispers. Thea watches the blush rise in the other woman's cheeks and finds herself reaching out, brushing the hair back from Zoe's face.
But Zoe flinches and Thea's heart breaks.
"Sweet girl..."
"I'm fine," Zoe covers her hand and holds it to her cheek, but her eyes are swimming with tears and Thea has a hard time keeping her own at bay.
"Do you want...I can stay for a while?"
Everything about this is breaking every rule she's ever set for herself. But Zoe is worth more than the rules.
"You sure?" Zoe asks, catching her off-guard. She'd fully expected her to say no.
"Yeah, of course."
They settle into bed after Thea's toed off her shoes and shrugged out of her blazer. She should've changed first, before coming here. Too late now. And Zoe doesn't seem to mind, settling against her comfortably.
"You sure you want me on the mission?"
"Zoe. I told you I'd take your word for it. I wasn't kidding. You say you're good, that's all I need," Thea tugs Zoe closer, willing the tension out of her. "But you don't have to be. That's okay, too."
"I'm just...mad," Zoe admits, her voice rasping on the emotion in her throat. "He has no idea...no fucking idea how hard I worked. What it took for me to get here? The shit I've put up with? He thought he was better...stronger." A tear slips from her eye and Thea brushes it away.
"He thought wrong. He could never be half the soldier you are. Or half the person, for that matter."
"But he still almost--" Zoe stops breathing, which Thea only knows because she feels it. Reflexively, her hold on the other woman tightens in support, and she waits. "I got lucky. That's all there is to it. It wasn't skill or strength or anything else. It was luck."
"Maybe. But, Zoe, nothing I said changes if you hadn't been. You aren't stronger or better because you got away. You were those things before he ever laid a finger on you. And nothing he could've done to you would ever change that." Thea swallows back her own emotion, pushing away too many memories of her time in Dubai, of too many men like Smitty.
She has to push it away because Zoe's actually crying now. So Thea wraps her tighter in her arms and kisses away the tears until they stop falling. It takes a while longer for Zoe's breathing to even out. And Thea doesn't mean to fall asleep. She's not supposed to. But she does, and it means sneaking out of Zoe's room with minutes to spare, and all but speeding her way off base, back to her apartment to change. She's late to the briefing (her own) and makes up some excuse about flight delays. Magnus doesn't say a word and Zoe just barely smiles.
Putting Zoe on the mission was the right call. Spending the night was the right call. What happens when they come back? Thea hasn't figured that out yet, but she's starting to think Zoe might be worth breaking the rules.