Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hunting ghosts day in and day out got really annoying, really fast.

And yet, Danny Fenton has no choice. Or - he feels like he has no choice, at least. He’s got something of a hero complex, though he’s loath to admit it.

Thus, a downward (or upward? or sideways? Fuck, who cares?) spiral of events was caused late one Tuesday evening because Danny decided to stick his cartilage nub where it didn’t belong.

This Tuesday evening wasn’t particularly eventful, or noteworthy; the Box Ghost reared his pathetic head, Danny thermos’d him, blah blah, normal. Or - it was, until Danny glanced a flash of gray and candy-corn out of the corner of his eye.

“Hey, Danny, what’s up?” Sam, his friend-slash-presumed-girlfriend called up at his sudden head-turn toward a dark alley.

“I dunno, thought I saw something... You guys get home, I’m gonna check around a bit to make sure the coast is clear.”

“You sure, man?” Tucker shouted.

“Yeah, I got it.” His friends wished him farewell as he waved and floated down the dark alley. A noise stopped him.

“-fucking imbeciles-” a gruff voice seemed to mutter. Danny sped up, silently speeding around a corner where he stopped completely.

In front of him stood something he thought could only be a ghost. Five-foot-two, grey-skinned, and candy-corn-horned, a boy in a black sweater leaned against a wall, muttering profanities to himself. Obviously, he’s a ghost... right? But he didn’t have a glow of any flavour; he looked... mundane. Or, he did, until he looked up at Danny and swore loudly.

“Fuck.” The strange boy backed up slowly, producing twin silvery-looking sickles from seemingly nowhere. Danny pulled out a thermos.

“Who are you?” He pointed the thermos at the not-ghost. “Actually, what are you?” he added as a second thought.

“I could ask you the same questions,” the other growled. “Put that fucking thing down, it’s not gonna do anything remarkable to me, apart from piss me off. Moreso than I already am,” he added as an afterthought.

“Answer me first, man. I don’t have all night.” The silver-haired halfa grinned. Another cocky one. It’s always their last mistake, he thought.

“Put it away and I might.” The sickle-wielding alien was showing no fear. Or arrogance. Or really any emotion other than annoyance. This... unnerved Danny. Typically ghosts were more emotional. Warily, he slipped it back into his belt, floating to the ground.

“We had a deal.”

“Whatever.” The grey-skinned boy’s sickles... disappeared? Okay, things were getting strange. The ten-foot distance between them crackled. “First, you tell me why the fuck you’re following me.”

“You looked kinda like a ghost. Getting rid of those is my job.” Danny rolled his eyes.

“You’re one to talk.”

“Yeah, well, it helps with the whole pest-control gig.” They met eyes warily. Danny closed the distance to two feet, feeling as though it was probably safe by now. Besides, this pipsqueak didn’t look like he could hurt him very badly. He held out his hand. “Danny Phantom.”

“Weird name.” The not-ghost met his hand with his own. “Karkat Vantas. I’m a troll, not a fucking ghost.”

“What - like, there are more of you?” Danny cocked his head in confusion.

“Only eleven, but yeah, definitely. Whole load of help they are,” he muttered.

Just then, much like an incoming ham-handed plot device, a chuckled echoed through the alleyway. Karkat whipped around and then growled, deep in the back of his throat. Something primal - not human. It honestly scared Danny.

“So who’s Edward Cullen here?” A scrawny, pale, white-haired boy turned the corner. His white-and-red shirt bore the image of a cracked record, and dark shades covered his eyes.

“Shit. Strider, why the fuck are you here? Everyone seems to be following me recently! Can a troll get privacy? Is this just not a thing anymore?” He paused, diatribe cut short by Strider’s question. “Apparently, his name is Danny Phantom, however thinkpan-bogglingly dull-witted that is, and he seems like a creation of you and Aradia’s fuckery with physics.” Danny was entirely taken aback by this, and went to respond indignantly, before said Strider held up his hand, grinning.

“Sup. I’m Dave Strider. I’d say nice to meet you, but you met my lovely partner-in-crime, so you can’t be very happy to be here. It’s impossible,” he drawled, Southern accent obvious.

“What...” Danny said. He was entirely mystified by this whole debacle, and on the verge of a headache. Scads of questions bubbled in his mind, rising to the surface and popping like carbonation. He managed to catch onto one, and... “What the hell is a thinkpan?”

Dave bust out laughing, loud and raucous and kind of... squawking. Birdlike, if Danny could venture to describe it, but he was too confused at this point. “God, you look so confused... and out of all this bullshit, you ask that?” He snorted to a shaking halt in his laughter. “I thought I designed humans better.”

“Oh, hoofbeastshit, you didn’t fucking design humans. You’re a human yourself, however gross that thought is, and anyway, if anyone designed humans, it would have been me.” Karkat snarled and rolled his eyes.

“Aww, is widdle Karkles all worked up? As per usual? Like, man, get your anger under control, it’s kinda disorienting. Like a fucking tiny little bag of rage, just walking around.”

“Oh, little, you say, like I couldn’t kick your ass given a moment’s notice.” The two had started to glow; both the same shade of bright, carmine red. Dave had moved closer, hands in his pockets, smirking at the short troll.

“Yeah, little. You’re fucking tiny.” Dave’s... aura? Whatever it was, it intensified. Karkat’s flared brightly in response.

“You want to do this here?” Damn, that troll snarled a lot.

“You chicken?”

This set Karkat off. The glows flared, brighter than the moonlight filtering in through the dusty air, red as maraschino, and suddenly - suddenly, the two unfamiliar-now-known boys had... changed. The auras had eclipsed them, and when they were revealed again, they were taller, stronger-looking, all-in-all godlike. They wore outfits of bright carmine and brown, Dave and Karkat respectively, adorned with cloaks and boots; they looked like knights. Dave brandished a dangerous-looking sword, a clock inset at the hilt, while Karkat wielded a sharp and deadly red sickle, all points and sharp edges.

In an instant, they were on each other. Weapons flashed, red and silver in a dance that would kill a mortal, yet they laughed through it, delirious with hatred. They were a swirling maelstrom of red. It was all really weird. They swirled to a halt, slashes on every bit of exposed skin and Karkat pressing Dave against the wall of the alley.

“Right now, Strider? Really? We have company, if you hadn’t fucking noticed.” Dave grinned, face flushed. In an instant, he grabbed Karkat’s collar, pressed a harsh kiss to his lips, and shoved him back.

“Yeah, whatever.” In another crimson flash, both reverted to their “natural” state, a short nubby-horned troll and a tall, white-haired Texan. Danny’s mind was reeling.

“What the fuck was that?” was all he had the capability to say.

“Welcome to the Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory. Hope you enjoy your stay.” Karkat spun on his heel and took off down the alley.

“And yes, he’s always like that.” Dave smirked.

Danny’s life was about to get about twenty-two times more confusing. He didn’t realize, or even care.

Chapter Text

“Alright.” Dave pushed his shades up. “Obviously we’re gonna have to let you in on our little group and history. I mean, you’re already balls-deep, there’s no use not giving you the whole lecture now.”

“...Lecture?” Danny questions weakly. What the hell had he gotten himself into?
“Yeah, but anyway - we need to get back home. Trust me, it’ll be a lot easier if you’re sitting down.” Dave snickers and lifts a hand to his ear, where what seemed to be a Bluetooth headset was blinking green. “Hey, Jade,” he answers, and the green light goes off. “Just the furry I was looking for.” He pauses, listening to Jade. “Yeah, we’ll need a teleport back home - oh, and we’ve got an extra one to the load this time... Yeah, Karkat got his panties in a twist and decided to walk. Heh. Thanks, bro.” He removed his hand from the headset and grinned at Danny.

“You ready for the ride?” He held out his arm. “Grab on, hurry, teleport’s coming in ten... nine... eight... seven...” Danny tentatively grabbed his arm as Dave counted down.

“One!” The world went black-and-green.

With a cough, Danny felt solid ground beneath his feet once more. Wait - he was standing. The teleport must have shorted out his transformation. Damn. Dave glanced over at him, taking in his now-human appearance.

“Huh. Seems you do have some tricks up your sleeve.” He grinned. “Alright, take a seat and make yourself at home.”

Danny looked about. The room he was in seemed a lot like a normal apartment, just... with a whole load more grey than most. Grey walls, dark grey furniture - only the occasional splash of colour brightened up the living-slash-breakfast room he stood in. Dazed, he took a seat at the counter as Dave got a Coke out of the fridge.

“Okay. First of all, any questions?” Dave slid into the seat across from him.

Danny took a breath. “What the fuck was with the glowy godlike stuff?”

“Hey, you got it right. We’re gods. Kinda.” He smirks. Damn, he does that a lot. “God-tiers. It’s a really long story, but suffice it to say that we created your universe. You’re welcome.”

Danny’s bullshit sensors were pinging loud and clear, but he ignored them. Kind of. An incredulous scoff escaped his mouth before he could stop it. Dave caught his eyes with a piercing glare over his shades.

“You don’t believe me.” It wasn’t a question. Something odd - a leaping flame, a turning gear - seemed to move behind Dave’s bright red eyes. It suggested eternal knowledge, staring infinity in the face and laughing, outright laughing and flipping it off while hooking strings to it and playing it like a puppet. Dave Strider seemed to be a force to be reckoned with; he’d seen everything and survived, sanity intact. Danny’s breath hitched.

“I-I...” The half-ghost stuttered.
“Yeah. Trust me. We’ve done that and more.” The depth disappeared, Dave pushed up his glasses and smirked that cocky smirk, his persona of a carefree bro cloaking his experiences once again. “Next question.”

Danny was still shocked at the look in Dave’s eyes, but he gathered himself to at least speak a sentence, so as not to appear to be a dumbass. “U-uh... What are trolls?” He blurted out.

Dave then chuckled. “Oh, god, those fuckers. Those are horned aliens that helped us create the world. They have a weird-ass romance system - don’t ask,” he said before the ninth-grader could interrupt him, “a thing with buckets, and a fucked-up history.”

“Romance system...?”

“Yeah. Quadrants of romance. Romantic hate, of all things. God damn.” Something that sounded like a plot device dropping from a ten-story building came from outside the door. “Speak of the devil.”

Another troll walked in. He was tall, lanky, bony, and carried himself with an arrogance to rival Vlad’s. Black hair - was that just a troll thing? - swept over his eyes, and two sets of horns - a small, curved pair and a matching larger pair, in the same candy-corn colours as Karkat’s. Dual-coloured glasses covered his eyes, a smirk graced his face, and Danny knew, from the moment he set eyes on Sollux Captor, that he hated him. He hated him even more when he spoke.

“Thup, DV. Wait-” He broke off as he caught sight of Danny. “Who the fuck ith thith?!” His 3D-glasses slid down and revealed unbroken orbs of red and blue.

“Sup, Captor. Karkles had a mishap in an alley and dragged Danny here into it.” He motioned toward his ‘student.’

“And you had to bring him here for what reathon?”

“Heh, we kinda accidentally GT’d.” Dave looked slightly nervous and instinctively reached up to tuck a lock of blond behind his ear.

“Akthidentally my atth. You were having a black altercation in public. God damn, though, how hath KK not hate-propothed to you already? It’th thickening.” He rolled his eyes - or, at least, he seemed to. Those cornea-less eyes disturbed Danny. “If he fuckth up our thetup here-” he motions at Danny “-I’m gonna flip my shit becauthe it taketh a whole fuckload of energy to move my mainframeth without damaging anything.” He shot a condescending glare toward the halfa.

Danny spluttered. “Who says I’m gonna fuck anything up? What could I even do? Like I have no fucking clue where we are, anyway!” His voice sounded slightly hysterical, even to his own ears.

“Calm your titth, I wath jutht giving fair warning.” Captor rolled his eyes and plopped down on a sofa.

“Alright. Back to the topic at hand.” Dave grinned. “Fair warning; you’re in balls-deep, you’re probably not escaping anytime soon. There’s sixteen people living here. There’s like, six you don’t wanna meet. You already met one of those, disappointingly, so you’ve lost your Karkat-virginity... whatever. You do realize you’re not gonna get out of this mess?”

“Uh...” Danny was bewildered. “I... guess?” Oh god, what the hell was he getting himself into?

“Good. Welcome to the Hotel Asshole Gallery. Hope you enjoy your stay.” Did the people around here have something with the ‘welcome to ___ hope you enjoy your stay’ trope, or was it just Karkat and Dave? Whatever.

“I - okay...?”

Chapter Text

"Okay. Glad we've got that sorted out." Dave pushed his shades up the bridge of his nose and stood up. "Alright, you're probably gonna need to know where we are. Right?" 

Danny nodded. "Probably, yeah."

"'Kay. Front door's there -" he points toward a door at the opposite end of the room "- and we're on East 23rd. You can figure your way from there, right?" 

"Yeah." Danny crossed the room, Dave following him. He stopped at the door.

"Oh, yeah, lemme see that ghost transformation thing real quick." Dave reached a hand up to his glasses and seemingly pushed a button.

"...How do you know about that, anyway?" Danny cocked an eyebrow.

"I'm not an idiot, despite what our fearless leader Karkles insinuates. I can put two and two together. Now come on, show me the goods." 

Danny sighed. He focused and two bright hoops of light appeared at his midsection, moving upward and downward to complete his transformation. He floated an inch or two off the ground. "You happy?"

"Pretty cool." Dave grinned. "I think you'll be seeing one of us tomorrow at around... three seventeen PM. Have fun." 

"How do you..." Danny trailed off and shook his head. These people were insane and probably right. He gave up trying to figure out how they knew things. Phasing out of the door, he flew high upward into the cold night air and rocketed toward FentonWorks. 

--------

Karkat Vantas burst through the front door to a small, nondescript old storefront on East 23rd street of Amity Park. Huffing, he plopped down on a sofa next to his best-friend-cum-favourite-asshole, Sollux Captor, who happened to be playing video games. Dissapointingly, his kismesis was also in the room.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Dave snarked with a grin. 

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Dave, I'm seriously not in the fucking mood for your meaningless assholery."

"Yeah, but it turns out I am, so you're gonna have to deal with that. Sorry." That grin, holy shit, it drove Karkat off the fucking wall. He jackknifed to his feet.  

"Do you really want to go right now? I had enough of your shit earlier."

"We didn't exactly finish what we started, now did we?" Dave advanced on Karkat.

"Oh, get a room, that'th dithguthting." Sollux rolled his eyes. 

"Gladly," the Cancer growled. Crossing the room, he grabbed Dave's shirt and hauled him off down a hallway, stopping and kissing him roughly along the way.

--------

Sollux Captor was not a troll renowned for his grace in the quadrants. So, of course, when he found himself staring at the retreating back of a certain rage-driven troll, he had literally no clue how to handle it. 

The thoughts running through his mind are not quite able to be put in text format, so a translation was made for the purpose of simplifying them. Some images may have been lost in translation.

yeah but - iit'2 kk - he'2 your be2t - only - friiend - but that a22 - who the fuck care2 he'2 happy a2 he'll get riight now don't fuck thii2 up for hiim liike you u2ually do - but he - NO YOU ARE NOT GOIING THERE - we agreed never two 2peak of that agaiin remember - 2hut the fuck up - iit'2 u2ele22 - liike you

His head flump'd back on the sofa and he paused the video game he was playing. He groaned quietly. God, his mind was so fucked up, why does he even bother.

iif you try anythiing you'll lo2e hiim - you know you wiill - 2o 2hut up and forget iit

He pulls himself to his feet and walks out the door of the main room. Why not drown this shit out with a good coding session to forget everything?

Chapter Text

Casper High is pretty much your typical high school; the jocks are constantly hitting on the cheerleaders, the nerds are attempting to avoid them, band geeks are sitting around talking about their newest piece and arpeggios and tremelos and the like. The one thing that makes it different than any other high school is the ghosts. Literally every other day a ghost of some flavour pops up and the famous Danny Phantom has to kick it's ass and leave. Nobody ever notices that Danny Fenton is never around when this happens. 

Thankfully, today was not one of those days - no ghosts appeared out of the cafeteria's mystery-meat chili. This gave Danny time to talk about what had happened the night before with Sam and Tucker.

"So, okay, you're not gonna believe what happened last night." Danny pushed his lunch aside, entirely uninterested. 

"Try us. Man, we've hung around you for like three years; there ain't much we won't believe from you." Tucker said through a mouthful of chili. 

"Yeah, well, this is a lot weirder than most times." He took a breath. "Okay, so last night, I went down that alley..." He launched into a long-winded explanation of the past night's events; trolls and Striders, nothing omitted.

There was silence once he finished, on the note of "... and that's pretty much how the universe was created, according to Dave."

"Dude, that's pretty weird, even for you." Sam put down her lettuce-and-vegan-mayo sandwich. "You sure you didn't hallucinate anything?"

"I'm certain. If you were there, you'd get it. Seriously, that Dave kid's really weird, but I don't think he's lying."

"Alright, so if this did really happen, and I'm not saying it did, why are they teenage kids instead of all-powerful gods?" The technophile was skeptical.

"I dunno, but if you'd have seen that weird transformation business..." Danny trailed off. 

"You're one to talk," Sam rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but I thought I was the only one with that kinda thing."

"Sometime around three seventeen, he said?" Tucker asked.

"Yeah." 

"Well, we've got three hours till then, so we'll see if we believe you." 

They discussed this over the rest of lunch, and it never left Danny's mind through the rest of school. As the trio was walking to FentonWorks, the clock struck three-thirteen, and they got an unexpected visitor.

"Phantom," a mystic voice echoed through their minds.

Danny froze. "Clockwork?"

"I must warn the Phantom
about the Strider boy." The scarred Ghost of Time faded into existance in front of the three, a middle-age man in this form. 

"Dave? What about him?"

"This boy has a closer connection to Time than even I. I simply travel along it; Strider bends it to his will, can tie it in knots and slice it in half. He is dangerous, and does not possess a human sanity." Clockwork was unusually intense; he was shifting age-forms every minute. 

"Then why hasn't he killed us already?"

"He takes entertainment from humans. Be warned, Phantom; David Strider is a force to be reckoned with." The Ghost of Time vanished.

The silence that followed was practically tangible. "...I think I can say that I believe you now," Sam broke the silence.

"I told you." Danny mumbled. "...I think I should probably tell Dave about that," the halfa said. 

"Tell me what?" A voice around the corner shocked Danny out of his thoughts. 

"Gah! What the hell!" Danny jumped back.

"Well, I heard my name. What should you probably tell me?" The Texan advanced around the corner; his white-blonde hair practically glowed in the sun.

"Uh... Well," Danny began, "the Ghost of Time just told me that you're insane, so," he shrugged.

"I get that a lot. Practically Karkitten's favourite name for me." The Knight laughed. "Yeah. And what else did this 'Ghost of Time' say?"

"That... you have a closer bond with time than he does and... you can actually manipulate it?" 

"Right again. Damn, Clockwork really should keep his nose in his own time loops." He laughed. "Just 'cause he can't handle unstable loops doesn't mean we all can't. Geezer." 

"...What." Danny could practically feel the question marks appearing in his eyes.

"Haha, like I said. We're gods. I'm the Knight of Time; my friend John - hey!" He stopped and squinted at Danny. "Come to think of it, you look a hell of a lot like John. Shit, two Egderps running around? That's a scary thought."

"Wha-" Danny broke off. 

"Anyway, y'all should probably come back to our place; your friends here look like they're about to keel over from confusion." Dave laughed. He does that a lot.

He was right, too; Sam and Tucker looked like they were in shock. 

"How about I just..." Dave spread his hands as if he were working invisible turntables, "...do my own special brand of teleportation?" Suddenly, two actual turntables appeared, red gears with black records floating beneath his hands. "Just a little turn should do..." and he pressed his fingers to the records.

The world turned upside down, a haze of red and heat. When Danny opened his eyes, he was standing in the same room he had the night before. He checked his watch.

"...It's three seventeen. But like twenty minutes ago it was three thirteen. What..." He remembered Clockwork's words. "Oh." 

"Time player for ya." Dave winked. A plot device - fuck, there are a lot of these; the author really should try to control them - fell from the ceiling in the form of Sollux Captor, our resident plot-twister.

"Dude, again? What'th with you and thith guy?" He motioned at Danny from his place on the floor. "I wath trying to repair the wall circuitth, but your fuckery with time kinda knocked me off. Whatever, if you don't want Internet connection, tho be it." He picked himself up and brushed his hand through his hair. 

"Nah, man, please continue what you were doing, just passing through." Dave laughed. Again. "Anyway, Danny... you should probably stay here, you don't want the lecture again. You two-" he motioned at Sam and Tucker "-come with me." He dragged them out of the room by the arms. 

Danny stood awkwardly in the center of the room as Sollux surveyed an open section of the wall. 

"Thit down, sheesh, I probably won't bite. I'm too buthy." Sollux motioned vaguely at a couch, and Danny sat down. 

Suddenly, the smell of ozone filled the air; a crackling sound came from
the troll as blue-and-red electricity seemed to surround him and he was lifted up to the open wall.

"What the fuck-" 

"Pthionicth. Don't question them, pleathe, I really hate ekthplaining." He rolled his eyes and reached into the wall.

"I-okay..." Danny was taken aback by the abrupt answer. "What's with you, though? Like it seems like you've hated me since I appeared in this room!"

"Don't flatter yourthelf. You're jutht annoying." Sollux replied distractedly.

"Flatter-how was I-" 

"Look, I know you're blackflirting with me, but you're human. Humanth aren't meant to be kithmetheth; you break way too eathily." The psionic glanced disdainfully down at Danny.

"I-" Danny was dumbfounded until a snippet from Dave's first diatribe echos through his mind; romantic hate.

"Dude, I'm not gay! I'm not flirting in any way-!" He's cut off once again.

"Shut up, you're thtarting to thound like Egbert. At leatht I can thtand him." 

"'Thtand' me, 'Thollukth?' Aww, I didn't know you cared!" Danny looked over toward the doorway at... himself?

Dressed in blue and looking like Danny's human form's mirror image -plus glasses and an overbite- John Egbert giggled at Sollux.

"Eh, shut up before I change my mind." The troll closed up the hole in the wall with a wall of red and blue wire. He floated down. "I promithed KK I wouldn't mitth hith thtupid
movie night; I'll thee you later, JB." He walked out the door. 

"Hehe. So you're Danny? Dave mentioned you!" John seemed like a really happy-go-lucky dude. 

"...Yeah." He shook John's hand when it was offered.

"Yeah, I can see what he meant; we do look a lot alike." He shoved his glasses to the top of his head. "Whatever Sollux says, you seem pretty cool. The guy's kind of an asshole, don't worry about him." He flopped onto the sofa.

"So..." Danny started, "Dave was talking about something called god tiers earlier? He said he was the Knight of Time; he started to mention you, but then..." 

John giggled. "Yeah. He likes to throw titles around like they mean something. Technically, I'm the Heir of Breath."

"Air of breath...? Isn't that redundant?"

"Not air; heir. H-E-I-R." John raised a hand and blue tendrils swirled around it. "Breath, see?" A blast of air emanated from his hand. 

"Cool." 

"Anyway - he said you were half ghost. Care to show...?" John leaned toward Danny. He reminded
him of an insistant child. 

"Sure, whatever." He stood up and, in a flash, transformed. 

"Hehe, nice Spandex, Superman." John grinned. 

"Yeah- well, jumpsuits are cool!" Danny huffed as his face turned green. 

"Okay, okay, what can you do apart from rock the Spanx?" 

"I - whatever; I have like, ghost lazers and ice powers." He shot a small lazer beside John's head from a finger gun; he then grabbed the closest small object - a TV remote - and encased it in a block of ice.

"That's really cool! Can you, like, go invisible or walk through walls or-" John grinned.

"Yeah." He went intangible and flew through the coffee table; he dissapeared. 

"That is extremely cool."

"I... guess so." Tranforming, he plopped down next to John. 

"No, like really. Ooh! We should totally have a flying race. You, me, and Sollux; that would be hilarious!" 

The two boys chatted; Danny seemed to have found a friend in this crazy establishment. Maybe it wasn't so weird after all.

--------

Karkat Vantas was a troll renowned for his rage. What people didn't know, however, is that he had a very strict system for controlling his emotions.

Every night, he devoted one hour to thinking. Just going things over in his mind, making sense of the day. He started this night with Dave Strider.

Kismesis. Obviously, I mean what else would that insufferable prick be? A blessing of sorts. Yeah, I suppose I focus my hatred on him more than myself recently. Sollux can stop worrying; the scars have faded, there's no new ones, thank fucking Jegus.

His thoughts continued in this manner for the better part of the hour; it was all quite normal until they settled on Sollux Captor.

Sollux. Best friend, I suppose. Pretty ho- NOPE NOT GOING THERE. Going there is not a thing that should happen; you tried that once and fucking pined over Terezi like a wriggler for a fucking sweep. You don't wanna go there again. Besides why would he even want you. He's got Aradia and Feferi and fucking Strider, of all people; he doesn't need you. Doesn't want you because you're shit compared to them and you know it. Fucking worthle- AGAIN NOPE NOT GOING THERE. Not fucking going there. The hour's up, I'm going to 'coon.

Karkat stood up from his place on the couch in front of his TV screen and made his way over to the recuperacoon, stripping his black sweater and not looking down at his body; he avoided seeing what he'd done to it. 

Life sucked and he was going to forget about it for awhile.

Chapter Text

Whilst Dave, Danny, John, Sam, and Tucker are occupied, there's always other trolls to get to know; let's take a look at Kanaya, a rainbow-drinker with a human matesprit...

"Rose, could you maybe pass me that thread? My machine's has run out."

"Of course; interesting colour choice, if I may comment on it."

"Yes, well, Gamzee requested a, quote unquote, 'motherfucking rainbow of colours on this shit.' I can't be blamed for such clashing colour schemes." Kanaya rolled her eyes. 

"How is our elusive psychopath, anyway? I haven't seen him." Rose looked up from her own knitting.

"Safe, now that he has a supply of sopor. He's quite broken up about Karkat and I having a pale relationship, but he can't have expected to stay with him after the events on the meteor."

"I suppose. Say, how many quadrants have you filled at this point?"

"Officially, two; unnoficially, three. It seems that, in addition to being Karkat's moirail, I seem to be something of an auspistice between his thoughts and him." 

"And the third?" Rose looked up at Kanaya through her eyelashes, feigning innocence.

"You, of course, my love. I would be nowhere without my matesprit." The rainbow-drinker shot a coy smile to her lover.

"Ah, of course. How silly of me to doubt you." Rose grinned. They played this game, occasionally; typically, words such as these started Kanaya's talk of their friend's lives. Kanaya had gossip and Rose always loved her girlfriend's updates.

"Why, I'm quite as flushed for you as our dear Sollux is for - ah, you don't
know!" Kanaya smirked and leaned toward Rose. "Sollux has quite the flush-crush on Karkat!" 

"Really? Damn, I was betting on Feferi. It's a shame; I'll have to pay my dear brother fifty dollars. God knows why, it does us no good." Rose rolled her eyes.

"Ah, your brother; it's fortunate you brought him up! I heard he brought an interesting character here yesterday; a half-ghost boy named Danny!" Kanaya had paused in her sewing. 

"Half-ghost, you say? I'll have to look into this," Rose stated with a ponderous expression on her face.

"Yes, though I'm not sure how. Anyway," a sly smirk had appeared, "remember your promise last night, dear Rose?" 

"Why, yes, I do," the human purred. "Are you asking me to make good on it now?" She stood up and made her way to Kanaya's side.

"If you're up for it, then yes," the rainbow-drinker bared her fangs in a smile, before capturing her lover's lips in a kiss.

"Of course," Rose stated once released from the kiss, only to dip down for another.

--------

Far away, on the other side of the pocket dimension, there lives a sad little Prince. 

Eridan Ampora had been handsome; despite his offputting hipster aura, his face was quite pleasing to the eye. He looked... princely, quite honestly. Now that's gone, replaced by gaunt, hollow cheeks, pale skin, and bony body. 

His retreat began when he - well, it started when he killed his flush-crush. His psyche kind of left when he saw the pity of his life with a gaping hole blast into her stomach by his own hand. 

So when they won the game, he followed the others out of obligation - he still kept himself away from them, hidden in the farthest reaches of the pocket dimension that was their home. He rarely ventured as far as the nutrition block, but when he did - he avoided all contact. He'd spoken once since he got there, to Feferi, in apology; he then fled before she could get a single word out. Nobody had seen him since.

And today was no different; his routine never changed: Get up. Look around at the room he was in; a tall cylinder, capped by a dome of broken glass with and dusty windows scattered about the wall, giving a view into a starry void. Change into one of two pairs of clothes that he owned; take the other to the washing room. Curl up and think about how wretched a creature he was. Consider venturing out to see the others; decide against it in fear that they'll reject him. Probably go get food. Live on emptiness and thoughts. Think about dying, but remember that he's a god. Cry. Sleep.

However, today... was going to be different. He didn't realize it, at first, but then he thought. Why not break up the monotony, even a little? 

As he made his way out of his labyrinth of dusty rooms and hallways, he smiled ruefully. Maybe they remembered him.

Little did he know, there was someone looking for him.

--------

Feferi Peixes was a forgiving troll. She would have made a very good Empress. 

She was also an emotional one, and remnisced a lot more than was probably healthy. So, of course, today she thought about her ex-moirail. Eridan Ampora. 

They'd had some good times together; he was hilarious in his hipsterness, but when he got passionate about something his eyes just lit up. Wands, history, military conquests; she was as pale as pale could get for the bugger. Until the game. 

The game; he had killed her, he had died. He had ended their blissful moiraillegiance and she had missed him, oh cod had she missed him. She hadn't seen him but once since they got here; he'd blubbered and apology and whisked away through so many hallways. He hadn't heard her calling his name; he hadn't heard her crying when she couldn't find him. 

She had searched for days and her friends told her to give up, he wasn't worth it, and she stopped searching. But she never gave up on him.

It had been three years - a sweep and a half - since they got here, an she thought maybe she'd start the search once more, just for a day, before she moved on. And she... she was rewarded.

Moving through the dusty hallways, she pinned her long, thick hair back.

"Eridan! Cod damnit, I know you're here somewhere. I - I didn't give up, you know." She moved forward, passing a door that was so caked with dust, she couldn't see the original colour... but for one place, in the shape of finger smudges. She reached out and opened the door, the hinges creaking and whining.

"Eridan? Come out, silly buoy..." she called softly, walking quietly through the doorway. 

The inside of this room was less dusty; a track of footprints went across the floor. She followed them through the door across the room.

A sound echoed back to her; quiet footsteps and the swish of a well-oiled door closing. She turned toward the sound and her breath caught as she heard something else, almost a whisper. 

She raced toward the door that had closed, around a corner and through a hallway. This door had no dust. She reached out, stopping a few inches away from the handle.

What if it wasn't him? And what if it was, but he didn't want to see her? What if, what if, what if. She pushed these to the back of her mind, took a deep breath, and turned the handle. 

What she saw was a troll in Eridan's sweater, but he'd changed. His hair hung loosely to his collarbone, a streak of purple gracing the side. Banged-up glasses perched on a pointed nose, and his horns were chipped up.

But what had really made her jump was the scarf; the one she'd made him as a wriggler. He still had it. He'd kept it. Her eyes practically burst into little diamonds.

"Eridan..." she whispered.

"F-fef? W-what are you-" He stopped. His voice sounded scratchy from lack of use. "W-what do you w-want?" Eridan's face hardened.

"Oh my cod! I-I-" She stopped. "You're still here..." Her face broke into a near-tearful smile.

"A course. I nev-ver left. Again, w-why are you here?" 

"I was looking for you." 

He looked shocked; honestly shocked. "You don't... you don't hate me?"

"No, oh my cod, never." She moved closer to him, approaching him like he was a cornered and scared animal. 

His face broke. "I'm- I'm so sorry. I-" He choked back a sob. 

Feferi rushed forward and grabbed him, holding him close as he started to weep. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered through the sobs. "I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's okay, I forgive you." She petted his hair, a smile gracing her features as tyrian tears ran down her cheeks.

She had him back. 

--------

Sollux Captor was not a patient troll. Thankfully, neither was Karkat. 

As the movie's opening credits rolled - slowly, accompanied by cliché music - Karkat facepalmed and talked at the screen.

"Holy shit, as a master of romcoms, I can tell this is gonna suck bulge. Just by the opening credits. Can it get worse."

Sollux snorted. He agreed.

Movie night was a thing with them; people wondered what quadrant they were in. "None," they'd say, "I wouldn't be able to stand him in any." The lie burned their throats and left a bitter taste in their mouthes. 

They hung out like moirails; they fought like kismeses. But they cared like matesprits, and practically auspistized each other from their own thoughts. They were in what humans would call 'love,' but they called 'stupid.' "No," they'd say when John or Jade or Dave asked if they were dating. "I can't stand him." The lie stabbed their bloodpushers, but they'd never admit it.

They were destined, some would say, to be together; but they'd ignore this every chance they got. Until tomorrow, when things would get complicated.

--------

"Alright. Hey, Danny, I've got your friends for you." Dave swung around the doorway and ushered Sam and Tucker out. They looked a modicum less confused. 

"Well." Sam stated. "I definitely believe you now." 

Danny laughed. "You should have beforehand, man. You gotta trust me."

"Yeah, well, you coulda gotten dosed with some weird-ass ghost drug or something. We didn't know." Tucker grinned in his direction, when suddenly, like a well-placed plot device - yep, those guys again - walked through the door. 

"Hi, Dave!" A bucktoothed, bespectacled girl in a floor-length denim skirt and long black hair flounced in. She was taller than Dave, and skinny, much resembling Sollux in stature. 

Sam stared at her. "Wait -" she began. "I know you!"

All eyes rested on Sam and Jade.

"Oh yeah! Sam! Good to see you!" Danny could practically hear the emoticons in Jade's speech. 

God damnit, is this gonna get more confusing? he thought.

It was.

Chapter Text

Jade Harley was a memorable character. 

She seemed ditzy until you really got to know her; then she was a forgetful genius with bunches of coloured rings around her fingers. Sam knew this; she knew Jade. Or so she thought.

Back when she was, say, seven, she was sitting in her parent's gigantic backyard, simply staring at the ground after a bad day with her unnaccepting parents. She didn't see a tall, lanky girl with long black hair sit down next to her.

"Hey, kid!! What's got you down?" Jade grinned over at Sam.

Sam jumped up. "I- who are you? How did you get here? This is private property, you know!" Her high-pitched second-grader voice squeaked and stumbled over 'private property.'

"Oh, it's fine!!! I've got clearance!" Jade giggled. "So what has you moping?"

"Who says I was moping?" Sam folded her arms and sat down with a huff.

"The curled-up position, the sad face, you know. Come on, you can trust me!" The taller girl looked at Sam expectantly.

Somehow Sam knew she could probably trust her; she seemed okay enough. She mumbled, "...My parents. Again. It's like they want me to be this perfect little angel or somethin'," frowning at the ground.

"Yeah, parents can suck pretty hard sometimes. But why don't they see you as a, quote, perfect little angel?" Jade smiled reassuringly at Sam.

"'Cause I got in trouble at school for Sharpie-ing my notebook black."

"That's nothing to be upset over!!! You're expressing yourself!" Jade frowned. 

"Yeah, they want me to wear pink dresses 'n stuff a lot. I don't like it. I like black." Sam glanced down at her own outfit; a black t-shirt, dark jeans, and dark grey tennis shoes. She liked black. Her red hair mocked her whenever she looked in the mirror, though. Someday she was going to dye it black. 

"That's your opinion and they shouldn't tell you not to be yourself!!!" Jade crossed her arms. "Hey, what's your name?" she asked all of a sudden.

"Samantha. But... I like Sam." The second-grader sent a tentative smile at Jade.

"Cool!! I'm Jade. Listen," Jade began. "Why don't you come back right here tomorrow at, say... six o'clock? How about it?" Sam grinned at Jade's proposition. 

"Sure! We're always done with dinner by then," Sam said.

"It's a deal, then!!! See you tomorrow, Sam!!" Jade got up and helped her new friend, before flouncing off to a place that Sam couldn't see. 

Sam did as Jade suggested; they quickly developed a friendship, despite the age difference. Jade had helped Sam through her school days; until one day, she didn't come to the yard.

Sam didn't notice; she was hanging out with Danny. But she noticed the next day. 

She thought that Jade had abandoned her; she missed her. 

She kept waiting. Jade never came back.

Now she was standing in front of her, perfectly happy, sporting a pair of white dog ears and a grin. Sam sat down with a fwump.

"How have you been?" Jade asks brightly.

"Just fine, considering how you fucking left me." Sam clenched her teeth. Jade looked guilty.

"I-I can explain..."

--------

Movie night with Karkat was always amusing.

Tonight's movie was entirely too cliché; it was human, of course it was. 

Some guy is best friends with a girl; they've known each other for years. Of course they fall in love. But they both think the other only thinks of them as a friend.

Sollux almost laughed out loud. Hey, it's my situation, without KK feeling the same way. This time, my thoughts are correct.

Little did he know, Karkat was thinking the same thing. Had he known, he might not have dropped the plot device that he did. 

"Heh, that happened to me onthe. Except the other doethn't feel the thame." He sighs.

Karkat starts. "Oh, really? Who is it?" he replies distractedly.

"None of your buthinetth, atthwipe." The Gemini snarls slightly.

This gets Karkat's attention. "No, seriously, man, who is it? I won't fucking tell, if that's what you're worried about."

"No, like I thaid, it'th jutht none of your buthinetth." Sollux stared resolutely at the screen.

"I'm not gonna stop bugging you until you tell me."

"You're in for a hell of a ride, then." Jeez, can a guy get privacy?

Apparently not. "Dude. You know I'm interested in this shit. Come on." Karkat poked Sollux in the arm.

"Holy- Shit, KK, theriouthly? You tell me firtht, then." Sollux glared.

"I-I can't do that. I'm sorry, fuck." The Cancer stated guiltily. 

"What a fucking hypocrite you are." Sollux snorted.

"Yeah, well, you'd hate me more than I hate me if I told you. And completely platonically, at that." Karkat looked away.

"Like fuck I would. I'm too flu-" He broke off before he said something he'd regret. "I know too much about you, there'th almotht nothing you could do to make me hate you."

"Haha, sure. This would. Wait-" Karkat paused as Sollux's broken-off speech registered. "What were you about to say?" He eyed his friend suspiciously.

The hacker's face heated up. "It wath nothing, shit, forget it, okay?" 

"No, dude, you can't just do that." Karkat's eyes locked onto Sollux's.

"I thaid it'th nothing!" The psionic snarled.

"It's obviously something, or you'd fucking tell me!" Karkat growled.

"You're fucking right! It ith thomething! But I can't fucking tell you becauthe I'd lothe you, holy hell!" Sollux paused for breath. "I can't fucking lothe you, KK, jutht becauthe of my thtupid flush-crush on you!" 

Sollux froze at the words that came out of his mouth. Oh, shit. His eyes widened in panic.

"I-what?" Karkat paused, taken aback.

"Shit fuck shit - jutht forget I thaid anything, oh hell," Sollux rambled. "I'm thorry, oh my god, I'm th-" He was cut off by the sudden interruption of Karkat's lips against his own.

Well. Hey, at least it was a good surprise this time, fuck, he was way overdue for one of those.

Chapter Text

In contrast to Feferi, Sam Manson was not a forgiving person.

"Then explain." Sam's voice was dangerously low.

Jade winced. Her ear flicked. "I-well, it's been what, five years for you? Well, it's only been a few months for me!! We had a time machine that Dave and Aradia built and I was using it but then it broke!!! I'm so sorry, oh my gosh..." Jade pouted.

Sam took a moment to contemplate this. "Come here," she said quietly.

Jade tentatively approached the sulking goth. 

Sam looked up. In a flash, she was hugging Jade tightly, a tear running down her cheek.

"You know, I think you probably saved me," she whispered.

The space player hugged Sam back. "I know!!! I'm so sorry!!" 

Sam let go. "So... how's life been?" she asked weakly.

The two girls caught up, discussing recent and past events. By the time Danny's eyes had glazed over, they were laughing and joking like old friends. Danny hadn't seen Sam this happy in awhile. It was kind of... amazing, the way her violet eyes shone. 

And then John decided to live up to Dave's nickname for him like the goddamn plot device he is.

"-but yeah, of course John over here had to be a derp and dump the paint everywhere!! It took, like, forever to clean up!" Jade said through giggles. 

"Why did you think I named him Egderp?" Dave smirked.

"Hey! The paint had it coming, it was a nasty colour anyway." John huffed and pouted jokingly. 

"Had it coming, my pale, sparkly ass. You were showing off your uber-dorkflight skilz to Sollux because you couldn't stand that he'd beaten you in a telekinesis contest the week before." The Texan's eyes rolled, barely perceptible from behind his dark shades.

"I was not! And anyway, I really didn't need the visual of your ass, Dave. I'm not a homosexual, I keep telling you!" John's face was red - from laughter or the thought of Dave's ass, nobody was sure. 

"Not a homosexual, huh?" Dave smirked. 

"Yeah, Dave, not a homosexual!" John sat up and glared at Dave from
beside him on a couch. 

"You sure about that?" Dave's smirk grew even wider. 

"Yes, holy shit! What are you even going on about?" John shoved his friend's shoulder.

"Last night, man. I heard some weird shit." Dave huffed out a laugh.

"I-what?!" The heir's face flamed a
bright red. 

"Hmm... my name, huh?" Dave cackled as John punched him in the shoulder. 

"I-it wasn't what y-you think!" John shouted.

"Hehe. Yeah. Sure." 

"It's not like I'm fucking gay for you, Dave, despite what you might be secretly wishing for!" John shot back at him.

"Wishing for? Dude, I'm wishing for a million fucking dollars and nice, easy timelines to follow. Not your ass, my friend." Dave crossed his legs suspiciously. 

"Then why did I hear Karkat talking to Kanaya about how you have a fucking crush on me?!" John snarled.

The knight's breath caught and he froze. "That little shit... I'm going to murder him," he muttered under his breath. Dave caught his friend's gaze. 

"I-" he stuttered. 

"So give me an answer, Dave; do you like me or not?" John frowned at the time player.

"I- uh..."

--------

Karkat Vantas was not a spontaneous troll if he could avoid it.

Yet, somehow, through some cruel - kind? - twist of the timelines, he had kissed his best friend with little to no prior warning. 

And here he was, kissing Sollux Captor, and his mind was racing a mile a minute.

I- wow holy fuck the universe gave me something good for once Unless he's fucking with me which I wouldn't put past him Yeah let's not think about that just think about how - oh

The last parts were cut off because Sollux Captor decided that participating would be a good thing to do, and jesus dicks if that bifurcated tongue wasn't the hottest thing Karkat had ever felt in his life. 

He bit back a whine as Sollux pulled away, because no that was fucking amazing don't stop don't do that but Sollux had other plans, involving starting to speak.

"KK. What the hell." Sollux glared down at Karkat. 

"I thought that was obvious, douchewipe." Karkat's face flushed a bright red. "I'm flushed for you."

Sollux stared Karkat in the eyes for a moment before... bursting out laughing? What the fuck?

"Holy shit, KK, that'th - that'th literally what jutht happened in the movie oh my god thith ith tho cliche." He cracked up and fell onto his back on Karkat's couch.

The Cancer growled and launched himself on top of Sollux. "You are literally the least fucking romantic troll I have ever had the misfortune to meet." Before he could reply, however, Karkat had captured his lips again and was kissing him forcefully. 

The Gemini hummed through the kiss and tangled his fingers in Karkat's - surprisingly soft - hair. All coherent thought was lost as Karkat slipped
his tongue into Sollux's mouth.

It took a few minutes for them to break apart for air, panting and red & yellow in the face. Karkat stared down into Sollux's eyes; he'd never quite appreciated them before, possibly because he'd always had them hidden behind his shades. The blue and red were actually quite mesmerizing. As was Sollux in general, right now, to be honest. 

"So..." Karkat said weakly. "Are we, like, a... thing now?" 

Sollux simply gave him a deadpan look before saying, "Dipshit, of courthe we are," and pulling Karkat into another kiss.

--------

Feferi Peixes is a kind troll.

As she led the dishevelled Eridan back to her room of the hive, she thought about what might happen next.

She thought about the times she'd shared with Eridan and the times they might share again. 

She just... thought, until Eridan broke the silence once they got to her room. 

"I- I don't w-want to impose," he said softly. It was endearing; her blood pusher exploded in diamonds. He still had his little w-stutter. 

"Oh, no, you won't be imposing, I promise!" She smiled brightly. She'd had a pretty shitty day up until now.

"I - w-well. Okay." Eridan walked through the door, hunched up and uncertain-looking. 

"Eridan -" Feferi started. "I-I reely missed you, you know," she said softly.

"But," Eridan said, "w-why? I killed you, Fef, I fuckin' killed you, w-why w-would you miss me?" 

Feferi felt her heart break a little. "Because I knew it wasn't on porpoise! You were desparate, I-" She broke off as she saw violet tears  start dripping down Eridan's face. 

"No, Eri, don't cry..." She crossed the room and cupped his face in her hands. 

"W-why w-would you f-forgiwe me for th-that?" he choked through sobs.

"Becraws I could forgive you for anything," she whispered and pulled him into an embrace, stroking his hair.

Feferi realized that Eridan Ampora was a broken troll.

She also realized that she could fix him. And fuck if she wasn't going to give it her all.

Chapter Text

okay!!! so you all must have noticd that there hasn't been any updates for like a few days. i have to tell you:

this fic will be going on a SHORT hiatus; maybe like a few days BECAUSE apparently i'm getting serious about it and i need to think the plotlines out. ive got no clue where its heading as i write this BUT i plan on planning the fic from beginning to end!!! It was going exactly nowhere but shipland and i decided "fuck if im gonna do that why not just post other fics in the same universe focusing around the ships" and now im going to REGROUP, REFOCUS, and REPLAN all action around these characters:

Dave
John
Danny
Sam
Tucker
Sollux
Karkat
Eridan
and Feferi

so yeah!!! The extra shit will not be included very much in the main fic BUT will have spinoff fics that you can read FOR ENJOYMENT that will be BRIEFLY MENTIONED in bits of the story.

so please, stand by and expect halfway-decently-planned plotlines in your near future!

ina out!!!

PS: if u wanna suggest bits for the fic, i have an email that's really old but still in use:

[email protected]

the white part is bc im seriously white lol like i glow in the sun

and im a mage of heart not mind

anyway

yeah send in ship requests or plotline ideas for this universe and have fun!!!! 

thank you for reading my lovelies!!!!! <3