Chapter Text
I’m running. I’m trying to move faster but there are things in my way. Its dark all around me, all I can see is him. But every step I get closer to him, he seems to get further away. I have blades and I’m slicing the obstacles, but its not fast enough. But I’m closer now. I can see him turning around. I reach my hand out, and just as I’m about to see his face-
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-
I slam my hand down and jolt out of bed. I feel my matted down hair sticking to my forehead and the sheets are noted around me. How bad was this one? I thought to my self. I looked across the room to the big mirror straight ahead of me. I was a mess. My black hair going in all directions, thick black bags under my eyes, and my body was still trying to catch up with its breathing. I reached up to touch the thin scar on my cheek; it always stung after dreams like that.
It had been a couple months since they started happening. I would run and run and run to a boy whom I’ve never seen. But before I ever saw him, the world would fall around me and to would wake up in this condition. A shrill scream of my phone snapped me out of my thoughts and I searched for it hidden among my sweat-ridden sheets. Armin Alert flashed upon the screen. I accepted the call.
“Hey are you ready for the history quiz?” He questioned, sounding very busy. “Ugh, I think so. The only part I’m not so sure of is the essay portion.” I said, finally grasping reality, and realizing there’s a world out side that is more cause for concern than my dreams.
“Nah, your essays are always great! You’ll do well… but I’m more worried about the multiple-choice part. Wanna go to the library and study before?”
“Can’t we just study in your room? It’s always so crowded in the library before quizzes.”
“I have a new room mate moving in today. I was gonna give him some time to set up. How about your place?”
“Hmm,” I looked around my messy and cramped apartment. I didn’t have enough time to clean it up and get myself presentable before Armin would come over. “Library sound much better. I’ll me you there in 45.” I said. “Will do… Are you alright? You sounded a little breathless back there.” I could sense him stopping whatever else he was doing, just talking to me.
“I’m fine, I just had a rough night.” I told him, which wasn’t entirely false. “Was it the dreams again?” He asked. He was the only one in the world that knew about my dreams. “Sorta, I’m really just tired. I need a mental vacation.” I said chuckling at the end. He could sense my lie, and didn’t try to reciprocate my light mood. “Maybe you should talk to someone about this? Like a doctor…” “No. I’m not crazy; I just have bad dreams sometimes. I’ll see you soon.” I promptly hung up. I was mad, mostly at myself. I shouldn’t take this out on Armin; he just wants to help me.
I crawled out of bed and began to stretch every limb in my body, popping and cracking every thing that needed it. I sauntered over to the bathroom, carefully avoiding the mirror, or any reflective surface that would let me see how bad I look again. 30 minutes, and a much needed hot shower, later, I walked out of my door and locked it. I nuzzled my face in my red scarf, my big black and grey sweater hung over my body, and my jeans stuck to my legs, showing off their definition. There weren’t many things about myself that I was too proud of, but my muscles were something I admired. In an effort to forget about my harsh reality at home, I would go to the gym, nearly every day and workout for a few hours. That was before I was in college, but I still find a few hours in the week to go to the gym. It was a nice release, just to get thoughts off my chest.
I walked along the sidewalk, many people rushing to class trying to finish out their Friday so they could party all weekend. One boy in particular wandering around with a pillow in one hand and a map of campus in the other, and a large suitcase occasionally being pulled by the map hand. He was directly in my path and I accidentally glanced up at him. Just then his eyes flew to my face and lit up. I lowered my head and tried to quickly walk past him and avoid eye contact.
“Hey, red scarf!” The boy shouted after me. I kept walking. If I keep going he won’t chase after me. Unfortunately he caught up to me, with a sling run/skip motion. “Hey, um, I’m kinda lost and I’m trying to find my new dorm. I don’t know if this is you or not, but my new roommate said that his best friend always wears a red scarf, and you’re wearing a red scarf, so maybe it you? Could you tell me where Shiganshina Hall is?” His mouth moved at a million miles an hour. I stared at him, wide-eyed and his stature hung over me, and made me feel almost small. “It’s just down this sidewalk, then to your right. There’s a big sign that says Shiganshina on it, so it’s hard to miss.”
“Thanks man, I appreciate it!” He said. A smile spread across his face that could light up a whole town. It made a small blush creep up onto my cheeks, so I nuzzled my nose into my scarf. “Oh ugh… By the way, I’m Eren Jaeger. And you are?”
“Mikasa Ackerman”