Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Park Jimin has followed Min Yoongi ever since he met the older, cold-appearing guy.

Jimin would do anything for him. Buy food for him. Bring extra clothes for him. Wait outside his studio for hours since Yoongi didn’t like anyone in there while he worked, and sometimes would work until 4 in the morning, forgetting Jimin was there, sitting in the hallways, shivering since the heater in the corridors would be turned off after midnight. 

Jimin didn’t mind very much because… because it was Yoongi.

It wasn’t that Yoongi was just using him. Well, most of the time he wasn’t. At least Jimin liked to think that. Yoongi always gave Jimin his tracks to dance to for competitions, bought him a thick coat so he would never get sick again, passed him little hotpacks when the younger would forget. Yoongi had a reputation, so he could never really show too much appreciation to Jimin, but whenever he did, even if nonchalantly, like throwing a hot pack at Jimin’s face, for example, Jimin would find himself becoming a blushing mess.

It was no secret that Jimin was head over heels for Yoongi. Everyone knew it.

Everyone except the receiver of all his affections, of course.

Jimin knew Yoongi didn’t love him back. At least, not as much as Jimin loved him, and not in the way Jimin loved him. But he didn’t mind it.

He really didn’t.

It was a Friday and Jimin was sitting outside the studio again. He had sat there for so often now that there was a chair placed there just for him, so now he could sit on a nice cushioned chair instead of the hardwood floor. It wasn’t much, but it was an upgrade. Jimin sometimes wished Yoongi would just let him sit in the studio for once. It wasn’t like he was hiding top secret things in there. He guessed Yoongi just liked the peace and quiet when he worked, or maybe didn’t like others seeing him whilst he worked. Jimin could kind of relate. He sometimes was very shy to let people watch him when he choreographed too, because he could sometimes make really silly movements.

Of course, he never minded it whenever it was his friends watching him. Not when it was Yoongi.

It was 1 AM already and Jimin felt bleary-eyed already. Usually he managed to hold it off until 3 or 4, but his dance class today really drained him. He had to replace Hoseok’s class and teach the energetic bunch of 5 year-olds today. They were honestly so adorable, but such a handful. Jimin yawned into his palm and settled into his chair, setting an alarm for 2 AM. He knew that Yoongi had to attend a ballet recital tomorrow as the piano accompaniment, and he needed to arrive early to run through some of the performances again, so he had to get enough sleep to properly function. Just as Jimin set his phone done and let his eyes slip shut, he felt slumber overtaking him, his head lolling back as he drifted away into a dreamless sleep.

--

2:01 AM. Yoongi’s studio was still bright, with light seeping from underneath the door. Jimin groggily knocked on it and waited for a response.

There was nothing.

Frowning, Jimin knocked again. And again. And a few more times just to be sure.

After 2 minutes Jimin finally decided to twist the doorknob and peek inside.

He saw the familiar mop of silver hair…

…lying on the table.

The gentle snores sounded through the studio, Yoongi’s head propped in an uncomfortable way that Jimin knew was going to get the man a backache tomorrow. Jimin couldn’t help the fond smile that rose despite feeling mad that Yoongi had overworked himself again. He walked up to Yoongi and poked his shoulder.

“Hey, hyung. Wake up. Come on.” Jimin murmured gently, shaking Yoongi.

He only continued snoring.

Jimin sighed. It was unlike Yoongi to be such a heavy sleeper, but having been his friend since freshman year of university, he knew that when Yoongi slept deeply, he slept really deeply.  Like, give him 12 hours or give him death.

“What to do with you…” Jimin mumbled before deciding he would just carry Yoongi back.

Yoongi’s apartment was only a 5 minute walk away, and Jimin had the spare key so it wasn’t that bad, really. He slowly arranged Yoongi’s limp body in a way that he could piggyback him easily.

Yoongi mumbled incoherently in his sleep as Jimin hoisted the elder onto his back, letting out a soft grunt as he positioned him nicely. He saved whatever Yoongi had done on his computer before turning it off, grabbing Yoongi’s possessions with one hand, the other gripping Yoongi’s thigh.

Jimin wondered if the elder was secretly working out whenever Jimin wasn’t around, because his thighs felt… muscular.

Jimin shook the though away from his head quickly, turning off the lights before carrying Yoongi back home.

--

“J-Jimin?”

Yoongi mumbled out as Jimin tucked him underneath the soft blankets, eyes opened just a fraction, voice hazy with confusion and lethargy.

“Hey hyung,” Jimin whispered. “Go back to sleep,” he brushed a strand of Yoongi’s hair away from his eyes.

“Wake me up in the morning?” The sleepyhead managed to get out.

“Of course. I set an alarm already to come here at 7 AM.” Jimin announced proudly.

“You can just stay here for tonight.” Yoongi mumbled. “Driving would be a hassle.”

“No offence, hyung, I really prefer my bed over your sofa.” Jimin smiled happily at the offer though.

“Sofa?” Yoongi scrunched up his forehead, lips jutted out and Jimin pushed down the urge to coo. “I mean, just sleep beside me. It’s a queen, after all.”

Jimin’s breath left him. Despite having been friends for years, Yoongi had never offered up bedspace to anyone, as far as Jimin knew. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi waved his hand in the air. “Come on, sleep. You can wear my pyjamas if you want. Just sleep.”

Jimin smiled down at Yoongi, letting out a silent sigh.

“You really don’t know what  you do to me, right?” Jimin asked rhetorically as Yoongi fell back asleep, eyes tracing over Yoongi’s sleeping figure, memorizing his form, knowing someone else would one day be the one who would never have to remember how this angel looked when he slept, when he worked, when he ate, because they would be given the immense chance to see it every day.

Jimin carefully slipped into the spot next to Yoongi, the spot that would be that someone else’s one day.

Jimin secretly prayed it would be him. That the someone would be him.

But if it wasn’t…

Jimin turned his head and continued to memorize  Yoongi’s beauty until he fell asleep too.

--
Jimin woke up next to Yoongi, the elder snoring lightly as Jimin’s hands were wrapped around his firm middle. He blushed immediately and pulled away, not wanting Yoongi to wake up and find that Jimin had put them in such a… compromising position.

“Pretty,” Jimin sighed to himself, watching Yoongi scrunch up his nose, mumbling something before falling asleep again. Jimin reached out a hand to pick up the piece of hair that had landed on the side of Yoongi’s cheek, blowing it away afterwards.

Jimin sat, holding his knees to his chest, eyes alternating between watching the lock and watching Yoongi. He supposed it was a little bit creepy, but oh well.

When the clocked turned to 7:30 AM, Jimin shook Yoongi awake. The way his eyes look, confused and dazed, just as he woke up, and the way he had frowned up at Jimin and said, “Jimin, what the fuck,” would perhaps forever be one of Jimin’s favorite sight of his favorite hyung.

--

“Wah,” Hoseokie breathed beside Jimin. “That’s your friend?”

“Yeah,” Jimin grinned brightly. “He’s amazing, isn’t he?”

“Daebak,” Hoseok agreed. “I’m so happy you brought me here! Wow! I feel inspired to choreograph a song to what he just played because of how he played it!”

“I know, right?” Jimin sighed dreamily, staring off at Yoongi, who was smiling for a group photo. Jimin felt so proud of him as he watched two girls giggling, handing him a rose that they probably just bought from the mart outside.

“He sure is a looker too,” Hoseok commented. “Hey, why haven’t you introduced us until now? He seems like he could be my type…”

Jimin felt embarrassed because… because he was afraid of just that. He was afraid Hoseok and Yoongi would click together too well, so well that he just… he just decided it would be better if they just conveniently never met.

“It just slipped my mind, I guess,” Jimin blushed, giving a small smile.

“Damn…” Hoseok murmured. “He’s so beautiful!”

And Jimin knew that Hoseok was Yoongi’s type. Sunshine smiles and such positivity and charisma, just the perfect amount of self-confidence  when he moved, the kind of surety he had in himself which Jimin knew Yoongi would just love. 

Jimin  fiddled with his fingers as Yoongi walked up. “Hey.”

“Hey!” Jimin began. “You did very well hyung.”

“Thanks to a good night of rest,” Yoongi smiled. “I know I forgot to say it before since I was so rushed, but thanks for bringing me back home, Jiminie.”

Jimin blushed and grinned happily at the praise. “No problem,” He said before noticing Hoseok nudging him. “Oh! This is Hoseok hyung, he’s from my dance studio.”

“Hi,” Hoseok stepped forward.

And Jimin helplessly watched as Yoongi turned his head to Hoseok’s brilliant smile, eyes widening a little.

“I’m Jung Hoseok. Nice to meet you, Yoongi-ssi.”

A pause. “Ah… Nice to meet you too, Hoseok-ssi.”

Jimin swallowed, watching them shake their hands for a moment too long to be normal.

“Come on,” he broke the hands apart, holding both of his friends’ hands in each of his own, grinning bright to cover up his discomfort. “Let’s go get dinner together!”

--

Even though it seemed like to a good idea at the time, Jimin was quick to realize his dinner suggestion was… not exactly the smartest move.

The two elder ones had instantly bonded over everything under the sun, from their similar music styles to taste in food. Jimin couldn’t help but feel left out. He tried to chime in but he just felt so small and unknowledgeable when it came to them.

“You should invite me to one of your shows in the future,” Yoongi commented. “I would love to see you dance.”

Hoseok grinned. “Of course, hyungie, I will be sure to send you an invite~!”

Jimin swallowed his food as Yoongi smiled back. Yoongi never seemed to be as enthusiastic about Jimin’s dance. He knew it was just based on preference, that Yoongi just enjoyed heavy basses and hip hop styled things better than Jimin’s usual style of modern dance and contemporary pieces with the lyrical themes. It still hurt though.

Sometimes intention really just didn’t matter, Jimin guessed. Sometimes pain was just pain and intentions meant nothing.

“You should show me your music, hyung,” Hoseok said. “Maybe I can dance to it.”

“Really?” Yoongi’s eyes widened comically. “That would be really cool.”

“Ah, you don’t even know if I even dance well,” Hoseok flushed, waving his hand.

“You dance extremely well, hyung,” Jimin said softly. “He really does,” He said to Yoongi, even though he didn’t really want to. “The best.”

Hoseok blushed harder.

Yoongi immediately searched for earphones, plugging them into his phone before handing the buds to Hoseok.

Jimin sat quietly and pushed around the leftovers of his food, not really hungry,

He sighed.

He would let it go. He would let Yoongi have this. He knew his hyung didn’t really like people often, and the last romantic relationship he had didn’t end well.

He deserved this. Hoseok hyung was kind and attentive and everything Yoongi hyung could need and want.

Jimin wouldn’t interfere. And it would be okay. He didn’t mind. Not when it was Yoongi hyung’s happiness on the line.

And Jimin would learn to be okay with seeing the hyung he had loved for years with Hoseok hyung. He would have to, for his own sake.

Seeing them in front of him now, it had already began to sting his heart but he pressed a smile on his lips, watching as Hoseok react with big expressions to Yoongi’s music, already bobbing and moving his joints accordingly.

“Wah, you’re really so talented,” Hoseok said, amazed.

“Thank you,” Yoongi blushed.

“I’m really so lucky,” Jimin smiled, bringing the two boy’s attention. “To have two such talented hyungs.”

“Aw, Jimin, you’re not any less talented either,” Hoseok squeals and Jimin beams, wishing Yoongi had responded too.

--

 Jimin sighed, rubbing his eyes, so exhausted after the long day he had. His muscles were so sore and it felt like his body was creaking with every movement. He adjusted himself uncomfortably on the chair, wishing he could lie down instead. He knew Yoongi had a sofa in his studio that would probably be more comfy but he’s tried to get himself in there before when Yoongi was working and the result wasn’t pretty. Yoongi had apologized a lot, feeling guilty, but Jimin understood. He didn’t really like it when Yoongi was there to watch him practice an unfinished dance either.

So imagine his surprise when he was woken up from his little nap by a very familiar and bright, chirpy laughter.

Jimin, startled, sat up properly as he watched Yoongi grinning his gummy style as Hoseok giggled behind him. They both seemed to be surprised to see Jimin sitting in front of the studio.

“Oh! Jimin! Hey! Why didn’t you come in?” Hoseok asked, oblivious to Yoongi’s rules.

And how he had broken them just for him.

“Ah… I usually just wait out here for hyung so…” Jimin scratched the back of his head. He looked down at the plastic bag he had set by his side and quickly picked it up. “I picked up some tteok-bokki for you, Yoongi hyung…. Hoseok hyung you can share some of it too, I guess, I ordered quite a lot since I know Yoongi hyung can tend to forget meals…”

“Oh,” Hoseok frowned. “We’re actually going to have supper now at that new BBQ restaurant…” He hesitated. “You can come join?”

Jimin was tempted to say yes, but when his eyes shifted to Yoongi’s face, he knew the eldest was giving him a look telling him not to.

Jimin’s heart fell. “Oh… No, it’s okay. I already ate, I’m full.” He held up the food again. “Well, you guys can still have this, since I already ate; it’d be a waste.”

“Thank you, Jimin-ah,” Yoongi took it. “You should go get some rest. You look tired.”

“Y-yes. Thank you hyung,” Jimin did a little bow before darting off, trying not to cry. It was one thing finally giving up his unrequited love. Jimin could handle that.

But it was a whole other thing to be losing his best friend. He hadn’t expected that to happen, and he had no idea what to do with himself.

--

“You should tell him, Jiminie,” Taehyung played with the straw to his iced vanilla latte, bottom lip jutting down at he looked at his sleep-deprived and heartbroken friend.

“No, I can’t do that to him. He’s doing so well, he really likes Hoseokie hyung, I can’t just suddenly spring into their budding relationship like that, Tae-Tae,” Jimin whined gently. “Enough about me, Taehyungie. I’m sad enough as it is. Tell me something happy, like your love life.”

“Well, I’m still pining after that boy from my photography class.”

“What was it, Jungkook?”

“Yup,” Taehyung sighed. “I’m being very obvious but he’s always glued to the lens. His photographs are incredible.”

“Hey… didn’t you say your new assignment was photographing models in nature?”

“Yeah? Why? Are you considering to model for me?” Taehyung perked up.

“Aw, you know I’m busy with my showcase, ah, Tae… I was thinking maybe you could ask Jungkook to be your model and you could be his, you know? Since he only looks through his lenses, and we both know you model extremely well with those legs and that facial structure.”

Taehyung lit up. “Oh! That could be a good idea! I think he still hasn’t found a model yet! Oh my gosh, my platonic soulmate is a genius~!”

Jimin giggled, feeling a little bit better about his lacking love life once he saw Taehyung looking so excited about his.

“Hey, you know what you could do?” Taehyung asked, sipping his latte. “Since you said Hoseok is dancing to one of Yoongi’s songs, you should too.”

“What?” Jimin asked incredulously. “I can’t dance to his songs… they’re not fitting for contemporary…”

“You could be a little more creative, have that kind of rhythm but still dance modern to his songs… like the ones where he raps in. First Love? I feel like you could dance in the modern style? You’re so talented anyway, Minie, I’m sure you can cook up something very awesome!”

Jimin tapped his chin, thinking about that. “That… may actually work…”

“See, I’m a genius too,” Taehyung grinned happily. “Ah, we need to hang out more, Jiminie… we always end up solving each other’s issues.”

Jimin smiled. “I love you, Tae-Tae.”

“Love you too, Chimchim,” Taehyung sang.

--

Jimin panted breathlessly, vision blurring out as he swallowed down his saliva, weakly reaching out blindly for his bottle.

“Here.”

Jimin shot up almost immediately at that voice, resulting in a wave of vertigo and nausea attacking him head on. He winced, holding a hand to his temple. “Ah…”

He felt the bottle being pressed against his lips and carefully sipped as Yoongi moved a hand to Jimin’s neck, quietly helping the younger boy drink.

“Hyung, what are you doing here?” Jimin asked after Yoongi had released him, satisfied with the amount of water the younger had drank.

“I was watching Hoseok practice for his performance,” Yoongi said. “He’s really good.”

“Yeah, he is, isn’t he?” Jimin agreed wholeheartedly. “He’s an amazing choreographer too. Have you seen him do contemporary dance? It’s not fair, he does it well also,” He laughed.

“You dance well in other styles too, Jimin-ah,” Yoongi tilted his head. “You do hip-hop sometimes too, right?”

Jimin scratched the back of his head, feeling a slight blush rising. To be honest, he only started doing hip hop because he knew Yoongi would like it. Of course, he also wanted to challenge himself, and ended up liking the way hip-hop felt when the music and strong beats coursed through his veins, but he never would have started actually performing it in front of others if not for wanting to impress Yoongi.

“Thank you, hyung,” Jimin murmured.

“Jimin,” Yoongi suddenly said. “You’re good at… romance… stuff, right?”

Jimin’s eyes widened. “I-I mean… not really. I have dated since—” Since I realized I could only ever love you, “I don’t even know, ages.”

“Yeah, but you watch a lot of romantic films and books, right?” Yoongi asked.

“Ah… but life’s different, hyung.”

“I know. But still. Anything could help at this point,” He chuckled hollowly. “I just… I don’t know.” He rubbed his face. “This is embarrassing. You must think I’m being so weird right now, so affected when I’m usually not like this,” He released his hands and strengthened his resolve. “Yeah. I shouldn’t be so affected. I’m Min Yoongi, I’m not like this…”

“Hyung, you’re allowed to feel emotions, you know?” Jimin giggled. “Doesn’t make you any less of a strong person. Feelings are tough, I think facing them head on makes you an even stronger person.”

Yoongi sighed.

“Is this… is this about Hoseokie hyung?”

Yoongi turned beet colored. “That obvious?”

“It’s cute, hyung,” Jimin said gently. It was adorable. It was so cute watching Yoongi get flustered about how to move or act or where to put his hands and what to wear when he was with Hoseok.

Jimin had always secretly imagined how Yoongi would act when he was crushing or pining after someone, if he would be the opposite of how cool and collected he usually was. Jimin felt happy that he was right after all, but sad because… because it was towards him that Yoongi was acting this way with.

“Well, you know people always say to be yourself,” Jimin said. “Trust me, he will like you for who you are. He will definitely appreciate your flustered efforts. Don’t worry too much, and don’t try to act tough or be someone you’re not. It’s more flattering when you’re flustered around someone you like, hyung. Makes them feel happy their presence makes you feel nervous.”

Yoongi gave Jimin a shy smile. “You think he likes me?”

“I think so, hyung. He’s dancing to your song and everything and he hangs out a lot with you! You know, he usually doesn’t like people watching him develop a routine because he gets self-conscious. Sometimes not even me. He definitely likes you.” Jimin tried to stay upbeat.

“He’s so… beautiful.”

Jimin smiles, staring right at Yoongi. “I’m sure he looks like the most beautiful person in the world to you.”

Yoongi remained quiet before clearing his throat and putting a hand down on Jimin’s knee. “Thank you, Jimin-ah. Hyung will try not to be so lovestruck and weak anymore.”

“No, hyung, you’re always welcomed to vent to me, you know?” Jimin grinned. “I’m here for you.”

Yoongi nodded wordlessly, hesitating before giving Jimin’s head a ruffle. “Don’t practice too late, kid.”

“Sure, hyung,” Jimin watched Yoongi leave the room, the door clicking softly shut.

Jimin groaned to himself and pushed himself up, wiping off the sweat before he put on First Love again and danced until his feet were rubbed raw.

--

Taehyung excitedly sat down and grinned up at Jungkook who stiffly took a seat too, right next to him. “I’m so excited.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that around a hundred times now,” Jungkook murmured.

“Well, yeah, because I’m that excited,” Taehyung hummed, boxy grin on full display. “Jiminie and Hoseok hyung dance so well, I always love watching them and capturing images of them. They look so ethereal with the stage lights and the beautiful, raw expressions as they leap.”

“Why didn’t you ask them to model for you, then?” Jungkook tilted his head.

“Hm? Oh, they were too busy preparing for this, of course, to have me take the kind of daily-life pictures seonsaengnim wanted.” Taehyung waved his hand just as another figure sat down beside him. “Oh! Yoongi hyung.”

The silver-haired male turned to him and nodded his head in acknowledgment. “Taehyung, right?”

“Yup!” Taehyung gave his signature smile before pushing Jungkook forwards. “This is Jungkookie, he’s from my photography class!”

“Nice to meet you,” Yoongi said. “I’m Min Yoongi.”

Jungkook gave a brief nod and silence ensued.

Taehyung sighed to himself, wondering how him, the social butterfly, managed to be sitting right inbetween of the two most quiet and stiff people ever.

Thankfully, he was saved when a loud squeal sounded. “Taehyungie~!”

Taehyung brightened sitting up. “Jinnie hyung!”

Seokjin barreled down the stairs, tugging Namjoon behind him before plopping next o Yoongi. “Hey Yoongi.”

“Hyung,” Yoongi greeted one of his only hyungs he was close to. “How are you?”

“Good, good,” Jin smiled. “And how’s the most handsome man, besides me, doing?” He grinned towards Taehyung.    

“What am I, chopped liver?” Namjoon murmured beside him.

“Very good,” Taehyung sang. “Hey, Joonie hyung.”

“Hey Taehyung,” Namjoon greeted.

“Ah, this is Jungkook!” Taehyung introduced the man beside him yet again. “From my photography class.”

“Oh? Jungkook? Mm, you’re cute~” Jin winked at Jungkook, making the youngest out of them blush, stammering something incoherent.

Namjoon just sighed in his seat, looking sad even though Seokjin’s hand was still tightly gripping his.

“Hoseok’s dance is towards the end.” Yoongi commented, looking down at his program booklet.

“Jiminie is right after his,” Taehyung commented. “I’m so excited.”

“We know,” Jungkook sighed, sounding annoyed and Taehyung faltered, wondering if  his excitements has really been that annoying and if Jungkook really just didn’t want to be here at all.

Taehyung frowned, settling into his seat instead of bobbing around to the music being played overhead. “I’m sorry,” He murmured lowly, his already deep voice dropping even more. “If you feel like you were forced to come. I… I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to hang out with you besides doing photography. But it’s okay, you know, if you want to leave. But at least stay to watch Jimin and Hoseok since you’re already here?”

Jungkook looked up, surprised. “Hm? Ah… no, hyung, it’s alright,” He murmured, eyes still wide at Taehyung’s sudden seriousness. “I don’t feel forced. I like dance too.”

And just like that, Taehyung’s chirpiness was back.

Jungkook sighed, but gazed fondly at his hyung who acted like a 12 year old. “I think I prefer you when you’re uncertain,” He murmured to himself but couldn’t really bring himself to lie because the confidence, carefreeness and sunshine Taehyung brought wherever he went was one of the biggest reasons why Jungkook liked him.

--

When Hoseok’s performance was coming up, Yoongi sat up straighter, gripping tightly to his program book. The music started playing, low and slow in the beginning, and the light fell on Hoseok, accentuating his bone structure.

He danced beautifully, body moving according to the rhythm, giving out such emotions through his face and body.

Yoongi found himself standing up for the first time ever for a dance performance. He wasn’t clapping, funnily. He was just staring at Hoseok as he lied on the floor, chest heaving up and down, the last part of his performance.

And when Hoseok stood up, bowing down, thanking the loud cheers in the audience, his eyes seem to look towards Yoongi too.

Taehyung watched this exchange and couldn’t help but feel his breath hurting a little for his Jiminie.

But love was love, wasn’t it? He couldn’t blame anyone. No one was to blame, and no one was blameless.

He just hoped Jiminie would be alright.

Maybe his dance would sway Yoongi. Maybe.

The clapping died down, most people who gave standing ovations sitting down, but Yoongi kept standing and then started to move.

“Hyung, where are you going?” Taehyung asked, startled. “Jimin is next, you know?”

“I… I have to go find Hoseok,” Yoongi sounded breathless.

“But, but Jimin really wanted you to see his performance,” Taehyung pleaded.

“Take a video for me, then,” Yoongi  patted Taehyung’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Jimin will understand, I talked to him about Hoseok the other day, he knows how much I care for him.”

And just like that, the elder had dashed off.

The lights dimmed and the curtains drew open, revealing Jimin standing there with his eyes blindfolded, a soft look on his face, not aware of anything as he prepared to dance with everything he has got for his first and only love.

Taehyung felt like crying.

--

The crowd was cheering loudly, applause coming from each direction as Jimin stared out. He gave a low bow, scanning through the people, trying to find Yoongi, to see what he thought of his dance, the fact that he had used his song.

He brightened once he saw Taehyung, Seokjin and Namjoon, expecting o see Yoongi there too, but he wasn’t.

Jimin frowned.

Taehyung mouthed something and Jimin squinted past the bright lights, I’m sorry, he seemed to be saying.

Jimin was ushered backstage as he tried to think what Taehyung could be sorry for.

He saw the stylist noona standing by Hoseok’s vanity and politely bowed. “Um, noona, have you seen Hoseok hyung?”

“Ah? Oh, a boy with silver hair came in right after his performance and shoved a bunch of roses in his face,” The stylist chuckled at the memory. “Ah, it was so cute, Hoseok was so flustered. They left when your performance started.”

Jimin swallowed. “O-oh.”

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, of course not,” Jimin smiled but it didn’t meet his eyes. How could it? He sighed deeply, getting a hold of himself. It was okay. He could get past this. He should be happy that Yoongi and Hoseok were getting together. They both deserve so much happiness.

Jimin held his hand to his mouth as his vision blurred with his tears.

“Jiminie? Jiminie!” Taehyungs voice sounded and he felt a pair of hands embracing him. “Oh, I’m sorry, Minie… I tried to make him stay, but I…”

“It’s not your fault, Tae-Tae,” Jimin whispered. “It’s no one’s fault. No one’s fault.”

“It’s no one’s fault but you’re hurting so much,” Taehyung said sadly. “It’s okay, Jimin. We’ll find you a nice boy. Or no boy at all. You’re beautiful just by yourself.”

“I love him so much, Tae,” Jimin sniffed. “I wish I didn’t…”

Taehyung said nothing, had nothing to say, just held Jimin closer to his chest and rubbed his head until he cried himself to sleep. 

--

“Jimin, when Yoongi gets like that, how do you help him?”

Jimin looked up from his book at Hoseok, who was stretching on the floor. “Hm? What do you mean?’

Hoseok looked tired, dark circles under his eyes. “I-I don’t know. Yoongi. He’s not talking to me. He’s not talking at all, just giving small grunts. He doesn’t eat anything and just downs coffee and goes to the studio. He’s prohibited me from going in and he changed his password.”

Jimin sat up startled. “Really? Since when?”

Hoseok looked guilty and about to cry. “Two days ago. I tried to help him, I looked online and everything, but… oh, I feel so useless. I stayed up all night last night trying to hold him or something but he just lied there like a board, and I felt like I was just using him…”

“Don’t cry, hyungie,” Jimin kissed Hoseok’s forehead gently. “It’s not your fault, you know, right?”

“B-but I feel like I’m just making it worse.”

Jimin patted Hoseok’s hair. “Go to the lounge room and take a nap, hyung,” Jimin said. “I’ll handle it. You need to rest too and stop blaming yourself. It’s really not your fault, hyungie and when Yoongi feels better he’ll feel so bad if he knows you were eating away at yourself for this.”

Hoseok’s lips wobbled. “Thank you, Jiminie. You’re an angel.”

“Come on hyung,” Jimin helped Hoseok up and led him to the lounge room and placed him down on the sofa. He poured a glass of water and left it on the coffee table, adjusting the room temperature and dragging in some blankets from the closet before dimming the lights. “Sleep well, hyung, and don’t worry.”

Hoseok hummed and was out in the next instant.

--

“Hyung?” Jimin asked as he pushed into the studio. He had tried countless of different passcodes until one finally worked.

It was a date. A date Jimin had almost forgotten until he went to Naver and searched up a certain name, and when they were jailed.

Jimin let the door close behind him, the sound loud in the silent room. Yoongi was siting, unmoving, in front of his computer, staring listlessly.

Jimin set all the things he had bought on the coffee table, and walked up to Yoongi. “Hyung?”

Yoongi either didn’t notice Jimin or just didn’t want to react, couldn’t react. Jimin was careful not to startle him but instead just carefully leaned to shut down the computer, the brightness of the computer in the dim room must have been straining Yoongi’s eyes.

“Yoongi hyung,” Jimin began gently. “Do you want to move to the cushion? Sitting like this isn’t comfy, you know?

Yoongi finally moved his head, looking up at Jimin.

“Min…” He breathed, almost inaudible.

“Yes, Yoonie?” Jimin asked gingerly.

“They’re letting him out early for good behavior,” Yoongi’s voice was hoarse.

“Oh… oh, Yoongi,” Jimin’s heart broke for the elder.

“He’s a liar. He’s just charismatic, I,” Yoongi looked like he was going to vomit and immediately Jimin leaned down and grabbed the waste paper basket for Yoongi just in case. He just swallowed, eyes still looking hollow, but tinged with fear, making Jimin’s heart ache. “I can’t.”

“Yoongi, can I touch you?” Jimin just murmured softly. “I won’t hurt you.”

“I know,” Yoongi said and easily let Jimin’s hands help him out of the chair, pliant as the younger led him to the couch.

“He’ll be on parole in a month,” Yoongi’s voice trailed off.

“I won’t let him hurt you,” Jimin said fiercely. “You know right? I’m not letting him get anywhere close to you.” Jimin brushed a hand over the silvery hair. “I-I may not understand exactly how it feels, but I’m here to support you. So is… so is Seokie hyung.”

Yoongi winced. “I don’t want him seeing and treating me different…”

Jimin just let his hand fall down to Yoongi’s cheek, not pressing down, just lightly positioned, pleased that Yoongi didn’t flinch.

He remembered when the slightest grazing of hands used to make Yoongi back up.

He was so proud of Yoongi’s development, of how strong he was, and how brave and how incredible his recovery was, is and will be.

“It’s okay. Take your time, hyungie,” Jimin assured and then pulled away, making sure Yoongi was comfortable, adjusting his body before reaching over to the plastic bag. “I brought some foods. I know everything tastes kind of the same now but I bought some of your favorite foods…”

“Jimin-ah,” Yoongi said, making Jimin pause, looking up with questioning eyes. “Why are you my friend?”

Jimin spluttered. “Huh? Hyung… I’m your friend because…” He trailed off. “I like you, hyung. I’m your friend because I want to,” Jimin frowned.

“Why? I’m such a bad friend,” Yoongi asked. “You… you always buy me food and make sure I’m happy, Jimin, why do I ever do in return?”

Jimin paused, a smile overtaking his face. “Your presence is enough, hyung. You don’t have to ever feel like you owe me. I do things for you because I want to, Yoongi hyung, not because our friendship dictates me to do so.”

“Still. Why are you friends with me? I’m just a grumpy guy who buys you lamb skewers occasionally.”

Jimin ran a hand through Yoongi’s head. “That’s enough for you. You’re enough, Yoongi hyung. You always make sure I’m happy too and make sure I’m safe. You’re  a good friend, hyung.”

Yoongi swallowed. “I don’t think I’m a good boyfriend.”

“Why?”

“Hoseok tried to help me, but I just couldn’t talk to him about…” Yoongi shivered involuntarily, making Jimin scoot closer. “I can’t.”

“I know it’s really hard, hyung. But you have to tell him sometime in the future. Not now. But you should.” Jimin advised.

Yoongi instinctively tucked his head into the crook of Jimin’s neck and the younger let out a breath at the small show of affection. He wrapped his arms around his hyung.

“He kept trying to help me, but I was so scared yet I couldn’t talk to him,” Yoongi went on, breath hitching. “He must be so pissed, wondering why I’m so much work.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay, he’s not mad. He’s just worried. He’s resting now in the dance studio lounge, he’ll understand, hyung, I’m sure he will.”

“Well, not everybody is as kind and understanding as you are, Jimin,” Yoongi murmured, sniffing. “You’re too kind, you know?”

Jimin just smiled. “I think the whole world be better if it’s too kind rather than too cruel.”

Yoongi hummed, the sound sending vibrations against Jimin. “That’s true. The world deserves more of you, Jimin.”

Jimin just let out a small breath rubbing the top of Yoongi’s head again. “You want some food, hyung? I have desserts too.”

Yoongi finally backed up, eyes rimmed red but he quickly tried to wipe at them and clear his throat. “I haven’t eaten in two days.”

“That’s not healthy,” Jimin pouted, pulling out the boxes of jajangmyeon and bulgogi. “Come, I prepared some good food for you~”

The room was quiet as the both of them ate, Jimin making sure to pay close attention to Yoongi, refilling his water and silently pushing more meat to Yoongi’s box.

“Stop,” Yoongi finally said. “You eat too, Jimin. You must have danced a lot today, eat.”

“How’d you know?”

“You stink.”

“Hey!”

Yoongi snickered.

--

When Yoongi finally told Hoseok about why he was like that, explained how his step-father had been abusive and how he had to run away and testify in the court, Hoseok cried so much he passed out, sad that he hadn’t known about his boyfriend’s heartbreaking story.

“Jimin, how did you feel when you knew about my step-father?” Yoongi asked after he had put Hoseok to bed. Jimin had been over because Yoongi was worried he might be panicky when recounting the story, and Jimin, what with having been by his side so much, could handle him better when he was like that.

“Hm?” Jimin asked, looking up. “Well, I knew you since high school, hyung, and I never quite believed that your bruises were from fights. You never liked fighting. It got bad at that one point, and you had to stay back a whole year, I knew you’d never do something so serious that would land you in the hospital… no one believed me, but I suspected it around your senior year. I was really worried.”

“You brought me home. You took me home, fed me, cleaned me,” Yoongi whispered. “You cried with me, for me.”

“Well, I was really worried. And I care very much about you, hyung, you know that,” Jimin reminded.

“You know, Jimin, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have reported him.”

“Y-you would have, hyung, you were going to.” Jimin mumbled.

“No, you helped me so much, Jimin. You made me certain I wasn’t just making it all up. My own mother didn’t believe me. He knew my step-father could be cruel but he didn’t believe all those bruises and cuts happened when she was working in the hospital late at night.” Yoongi said. “I… I couldn’t have been so strong if it weren’t you, Jimin. I’ve never really thanked you, have I?”

“You don’t have to, hyung. You inspired me to pursue dance too, and told me to keep strong when my parents tried to get me to major in something more prospective, like law. You advised me and told me to keep my options open, to get a double degree, reminding me how smart I was and how I could definitely manage,” Jimin told him. “I’ve never thank you either.”

Yoongi was not a man of sentiments, usually opting for small little ways of showing quiet affection, like a small pat on the shoulders or bringing food quietly without making a big deal out of it. So when he walked forwards and wrapped his arms around Jimin, the younger was stock still.

“Thank you, Jimin-ah. For everything. For still being here. For staying.”

Jimin’s eyes crinkled as he smiled, hugging the elder back. “Thank you for letting me stay, hyung.”

“I may not show it very much, but I love you, you know?” Yoongi asked.

Jimin shut his eyes. “I know you do.”

Maybe not in the exact way Jimin loved him, but it was more than enough. Being in Yoongi’s life, being able to help him and be helped… it was more than enough for Jimin.

--

“You guys remember Jungkook, right?” Taehyung asked as he slid into the booth where Jimin, Namjoon and Seokjin were already occupying.

“Of course,” Jimin said first. “Hey, Kookie.”

“Hey!” Namjoon and Seokjin chimed in.

Jungkook politely bowed to all his hyungs.

“Well, he’s my boyfriend now, finally, so you’ll be seeing him more~!” Taehyung sang, making Jungkook flush, looking annoyed but unable to hide the faint smile he had for Taehyung.

“You didn’t tell me!” Jimin hit Taehyung. “When did this happen?”

“Mm, three weeks now? It’s almost our one month anniversary babe, you better get me something! I already have something in mind for you, I’m sure you will love it,” Taehyung hummed to himself.

Jimin almost burst out in laughter watching Jungkook’s eyes widen comically, as if just realizing Taehyung was definitely the kind of person to celebrate every single anniversary or milestone mankind could cook up.

As Taehyung left to go to the bathroom, Jimin quietly leaned over to Jungkook. “Just get him the expensive paintbrushes he always talk about… He’ll love it.”

Jungkook made a sound. “I can’t afford that!”

Jimin laughed. “I actually already have some I wanted to give for his birthday. I bought it during a big sale. It’s okay, you can have it, I’ll give you a discount,” Jimin teased.

“Oh, but it wouldn’t be genuine then, would it?” Jungkook chewed the inside of his cheek.

“Mmm… if you really want, I’ll give you the link to his Pinterest account. A lot of the things he pins are stuff he doesn’t have, would never buy for himself, but would really appreciate.”

“Really?” Jungkook’s eyes lit up. “That would be awesome, hyung! I would love you forever, I promise! I’ll buy you so much food!”

“I’ll send it to your phone,” Jimin laughed at the younger’s expressiveness.

“Hey, sorry we were late,” Hoseok chirped, walking up to the table, hand tucked into Yoongi’s. Both of them looked flushed, what with the cold weather outside. “I teasingly threw a snowball and Yoongi and he just made it into a huge fight and wouldn’t leave until he won.”

Yoongi was shivering but a big smile was painted on his face. “What can I say? I’m competitive.”

“If snowball fighting was an Olympic sport, you’d win, jagi,” Hoseok said, entirely amused.

Jimin smiled gently at the love between the couple. Jagi. Jimin always wondered what it would feel like to call Yoongi that. He couldn’t exactly ask Hoseok, that would be so weird, but he was glad the dancer got to experience what Jimin always wished to.

“J-Hoooope,” Taehyung shouted when he came back, pointing at Hoseok dramatically, referring to the elder by his occasional stage name. Hoseok giggled as they all settled in.

“Ah, I just realized I’m playing as the seventh wheel,” Jimin pouted once they started eating. Namjoon was feeding Seokjin first and Seokjin was grumbling about how clumsy Namjoon was, almost knocking over the soju. Jungkook was quietly shoving more food onto Taehyung’s plate while the elder wasn’t looking, instead conversing loudly with Jimin. Yoongi and Hoseok were in their bubble, giggling quietly, Yoongi starting to become red with the soju which Hoseok kept pouring for him.

Everyone looked around and cooed at Jimin. “Aw, Chim, you need to find a boyfriend soon,” Hoseok said.

“I could recommend you to some people you know,” Namjoon said. “I know a few other ’95 boys from work.”

Jimin blushed. “No, it’s okay, hyung. It’s just an observation.”

“That’s right, Jimin, you haven’t dated in a while now,” Yoongi commented. “The last person I saw you with was in the first year of college, wasn’t it?”

Jimin laughed awkwardly. “Just… haven’t found a right person. I guess I’m taking it more seriously now.”

“Ah, a few flings wouldn’t hurt nobody,” Seokjin waved. “I went into this relationship thinking it was just a fling too, but damn, Namjoon was just so—”

Namjoon turned beet red and shoved a piece of lettuce past his boyfriend’s lips.

“Ah, guys, leave him alone!” Taehyung chimed in. “After all, Jimin has his eyes on someone already.”

Jimin froze.

“Who?” Yoongi was the one to ask and Jimin wanted to laugh. “Is it someone I know?”

“Is it someone from the studio?” Hoseok asked.

Soon, they started bombarding Jimin with a bunch of questions and unable to answer, feeling more and more flustered at the disgusting truth that Jimin was actually in love with a taken man, Yoongi , no less, Jimin stood up and fled the scene, pushing out into the wintry night.

The coldness immediately cooled down Jimin as he panted, holding his hands to his face, feeling so embarrassed.

He suddenly felt a hollowness in his chest.

He would never move on from Yoongi. It was just so impossible. He had been loving him for so, so long now, he could never imagine loving someone else with this magnitude. He didn’t even realize he was crying until a hand suddenly wiped it away. Startled, Jimin yelped, smacking whoever was in front of him.

“What—” Yoongi grunted, rubbing his head, where Jimin had hit him. Jimin immediately apologized.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to… I was shocked.” Jimin murmured. “Sorry, hyung.”

“Jimin, why’d you run?” Yoongi finally asked after rubbing his head. “You know we would never judge you for not being in a significant relationship, right?”

“It’s just… I just felt embarrassed, that was all, and Taehyungie went and said that…” Jimin scowled.

“Ah, you know Taehyung, he’s just excitable,” Yoongi hummed. “But it’s alright if you’re crushing on someone… you don’t have to tell us, or tell me.”

“I know hyung,” Jimin mumbled, staring at his shoes.

They were quiet for a moment, before Yoongi parted his lips, “Is it Hoseok?”

Jimin’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Is your crush… Hoseok?” Yoongi repeated. “I won’t be angry, Jimin.”

Jimin spluttered. “What? No! Hyung, why would you think that?” Jimin felt red all again.

“I don’t know, maybe you just liked him… you sometimes  seem to, I don’t know, have some sort of discomfort when I talk about him… I just guessed maybe you liked him.” Yoongi huffed, feeling embarrassed too.

“No, hyung. I don’t like him,” Jimin giggled. “He’s all yours.”

Yoongi was quiet at that, shuffling a little before he looked up, letting out a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking of breaking up with him.”

Jimin felt incredulous. “What? Why?!”

“I love him still,” Yoongi quickly filled in. “But, I don’t know, I think we moved so fast. It’s been just three months, but we’ve been just so… I don’t know. Quick with our decisions. I think it all started with just an obsession, but now we realize so many parts of our lives don’t really work well together. I still think we’d be very good friends, though… but I don’t know, maybe Hoseok feels different.”

Jimin frowned. “Are… are you sure, hyung? You seemed to really, really like him. Is this just…” Jimin chewed his lip to try to find the appropriate wording.

“Is it just my fear of commitment, you mean?” Yoongi said but his smile was teasing. “I’ve thought about it, Jimin. And… it isn’t. I really like Hoseok, and I think he’s very attractive, but I think we’d just be better off friends.”

“But you guys like a lot of the same things, have so much to talk about… And he cheers you up a lot, right?” Jimin tried again.

“I still like him a lot.” Yoongi hummed. “I’ll give it some more time, but if I still feel uncertain… I don’t think it would be good for Hoseok if I’m feeling like this about our relationship either. I don’t want to lead him further into this.”

Jimin swallowed. “If that’s how you feel,  hyung, I’ll always support it.”

Yoongi smiled at Jimin. “Sometimes I still wonder why someone as pure as you still remains by my side.”

Jimin blushed and nudged Yoongi. “I’m not that pure.”

Yoongi let out a laugh. “Sure, kid.”

“I’m not a kid! You’re literally my height, hyung!”

“Okay, kid.”

“Hyung!!!” Jimin whined.

(But, well, he secretly loved it.)

--

Jimin was working on his homework when someone knocked on his door. “A minute,” He said, setting his pencil down before going out to the hallway.

“Who is—Yoongi hyung?” Jimin lips parted at the sight of Yoongi in front of him.

“Jimin,” Yoongi murmured and Jimin frowned as he realized how Yoongi was standing, shoulders sagged low, eyes avoiding his, fingers twitching by his side.

“Hyung, come in,” Jimin immediately said, ushering the elder into the room.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to go back to my place… I-I didn’t want to face see Namjoon,” Yoongi scratched his neck, shuffling awkwardly.

“Did… did you and Namjoon hyung get into a fight?” Jimin asked carefully.

“Hm? No, no. I… Namjoon has been working with Hoseok for a while on this mixtrack that Hoseok really wanted to produce, so I just…”

Jimin frowned. “Hyung?”

Yoongi let out a scratchy laugh. “Hoseok and I aren’t together anymore, Jimin.”

Jimin froze. “Oh… oh, Yoongi, you really broke up with him?”

Yoongi finally looked up and Jimin held back a startled gasp at the redness in them. “No.” Yoongi swallowed. “He broke up with me first.”

Jimin immediately wrapped his arms around his hyung. “What happened, hyung?”

“I don’t know. Lack of communication, no effort, we got together just on the basis that we liked how each other looked and because we liked the same music… it wasn’t… enough.” Yoongi mumbled. “I wasn’t enough.”

“No, hyung, you don’t say that. Just because you both don’t work for each other, it doesn’t mean you aren’t enough. You are so enough, hyung, you’re so incredible,” Jimin murmured, truth etched behind every single syllable he was speaking. “You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met and I wish so often you would see how great I know you are.”

Yoongi clutched the excess of Jimin’s oversized sweater. “Then why did he leave me? For someone else, no less?’

Jimin made a distressed sound. “He did?”

“Yeah. He said he fell in love with someone else. Her name is Jaena, I think.” Yoongi murmured. “I was… I was trying. After I talked to you that night I tried to really hold on to the relationship and I genuinely thought it would work out. I just liked the way we worked together, so in sync. I-I’m not angry he found someone else, someone better, I just wished I knew what I could’ve done.”

“Nothing, hyung,” Jimin said fiercely. “You are wonderful the way you are, you shouldn’t wish to change whatever it was that you’ve done. And it’s okay. Maybe Hoseok and you are truly better off friends.”

“I know it’s okay,” Yoongi said. “I know it’s okay, but I don’t feel okay.”

Jimin squeezed his eyes shut at the panicked sound of his hyung’s voice and pulled him in even closer, like that was possible.

“What do you want to do right now?” Jimin asked gently.

“Sleep,” Yoongi murmured. “I’m so tired.”

“Okay,” Jimin carefully started to untangle their limbs but Yoongi clutched on.

“No. Together.” His voice was muffled against the younger. “Let’s… cuddle…. If that’s okay with you?”

“Of course,” Jimin gave a light squeeze. “Come on, let’s head over to my bed, okay?”

“Can I borrow something… big… of yours?” Yoongi asked as they padded over to Jimin’s queen sized bed. It was one of the items in his flat that he had splurged on, opting for a huge bed space to work with instead of healthy meals for three months. Kind of worth it, he must admit, because Seokjin hyung had realized his unhealthy eating habits and cooked a lot for him during those times.

“Of course.”

“The soft grey knitted sweater and cotton shorts?”

“Sure thing, I just washed them, they should smell like my detergent.”

“Mm. They smell like you,” Yoongi agreed when Jimin passed him the clothes. “Smells like comfort.” Yoongi mumbled, tiredly walking to the toilet, making Jimin’s heart soar a little bit. “Smells like home.”

--

“Jimin, why do you think I’m great?”

“Mm? Well… It’s a whole… blend of things. You’re a genius when it comes to music, firstly, and the passion you pour in it is something I can watch and experience forever. It’s so beautiful when you talk about what you love, and you can see how much it means to you and it feels a little bit like magic. And when you smile it’s so adorable and genuine. And… you are kind, though sometimes you seem to not enjoy showing it. I love when you pretend to be all tough but are actually the biggest softie. You are genuine, you don’t lie, and you make sure the people around you are safe and happy.” Jimin said. “Those are just some points. There’s more.” Jimin looked to his side at the figure. “Yeah. A lot more.”

“You’re too nice, Jiminie.” Yoongi breathed slowly. “You’re sweet.”

“Truthfulness is sweet, I suppose,” Jimin smiled.

Yoongi let out a bark of laughter. “Aish, you’re cute. It’s not fair, you know? Your natural aegyo?”

“You know… It’s not natural, hyung, I try very hard for these charms,” Jimin admitted.

“That’s just because you have never actively viewed yourself in your natural setting,” Yoongi’s eyes glinted. “You’re absolutely adorable. And crazily enough, when you’re on stage, you’re like the opposite, with the only blush you have being the flush from your hard work dancing and moving like that. It’s insane.”

“Ah, no, it’s just… the stage. You have to be confident…”

“Stop selling yourself short, Jimin-ah. You’re… beautiful. On and off stage, anywhere in the world.” Yoongi trailed off and swallowed. “You’re beautiful now. Here in your bed… in my arms.”

“Hyung…” Jimin’s voice must have sounded strained. “Hyung… I…”

The words remained unspoken as Jimin and Yoongi stared into each other’s eyes. Jimin swallowed before squeezing his eyes shut.

“Hyung, you know I love you, right?”

“I know, Jiminie.” Yoongi said easily and Jimin let out an inward sigh. “I know I don’t show it too much, but… I love you too.”

Jimin smiled and leaned in closer to the elder. This was enough. He would not ask for more. He belonged here and so what if the circumstances could be different? He would loyally be Yoongi’s friend for as long as he would have him, and Jimin would learn to maybe love Yoongi wholly in just a platonic way. It sounded like a far stretch but for his friendship and for both of their happiness, Jimin would go lengths.

Jimin shut his eyes, willing himself to let go.

--

Jimin decided he would finally go on a date with one of the boys from his hip-hop dance class. He was nice, sweet and seemed to be respectful enough to understand when Jimin had apologized to him those months ago, and didn’t question it much when Jimin asked him out for coffee for a change.

He was interesting. He listened to Jimin, spoke about himself when prompted, and if Jimin stopped comparing everyone to Yoongi because he was extremely biased,  it would probably be the best date Jimin had ever went on.

But it just wasn’t… right. He understood when Jimin stood outside his car, so Jimin was thankful. He seemed to be upset but he understood when Jimin stood there in guilt.

“I’m sorry.” Jimin murmured.

“It’s okay. I understand it won’t be right for either of us when someone else has filled your heart already.” He just said easily. “I’ll see you in class.”

Jimin watched as he left, wondering if he really wore his heart on his sleeve so much so that he could tell Jimin was in love with someone else already.

Maybe he was just intuitive, Jimin thought, because if he did wear his heart out on his sleeve, Yoongi would have known five years ago. And maybe they would be together.

Or maybe they would have stopped being friends.

Jimin hated the latter more than he loved the first, so he gathered his wits and walked back up to his room, opening up the app store on his phone. He hesitated as he looked down at the tinder icon, but pressed download anyway.

--

“Jimin? Where are you going?” Yoongi frowned, watching Jimin dash around the kitchen cleaning up the mess. Jimin jolted in surprise.

“Oh! Hyung, I forgot you were coming over! Did you let yourself in?” Jimin blinked, wide-eyed.

“Mm, I assumed you’d be showering so I just came in…” Yoongi appraised Jimin from head to toe. He was clad in a fitted white button up that outlined his figure well and black ripped skinnies that emphasized his strong thighs. His hair was styled, and a faint layer of gloss covered his lips. He was even wearing a thin velvet choker peeking through the unbuttoned opening of his top, bringing attention to his collarbones. Yoongi could even smell the cologne he had put on, the one he reserved for important functions. “You look… dressed up?”

Jimin tilted his head at the questioning tone Yoongi had spoken in before looking down. “Oh! Oh yeah, I—” Jimin paused. “I’m going on a date.”

Yoongi felt surprised. “Oh, really? With who?”

“Oh, just someone I met on Tinder. It’s… it’s not too serious, but we met up for coffee and he seemed nice so I thought I would give a dinner date a chance…” Jimin scratched the back of his neck, unsure what his stoic hyung would think about online dating. “Do you think I’m too dressed up? Maybe I should change into a sweater…”

“No, you look good,” Yoongi immediately said.

Jimin pursed his lips. “Really? Or are you just saying because you don’t want me to fuss?”

“You really look good, Jimin-ah,” Yoongi sighed. “You look good whatever you wear, don’t worry. You’re not overdressed. So what if you are, anyway?”

“Okay.” Jimin finally accepted.

“Is he coming to pick you up?” Yoongi asked.

“Oh, yes,” Jimin said. “He said it would be easier rather than if I took the subway, so…”

“I could’ve driven you,” Yoongi commented. “When is he coming?”

Just as Yoongi finished his sentence, the doorbell rang and Jimin straightened, brushing down his top. “O-oh, shit, I need to… hyung, open the door for him? Tell him I just need to quickly use the washroom!” Jimin said, nervous about his appearance again even though Yoongi just told him how beautiful he looked. “Open the door!”

Yoongi sighed, setting down his phone, wincing at the stiff back when he stood up. He opened the door, revealing a man much taller than himself looking at him.

“Um, is Jimin here?” The man asked. “I’m Chanyeol.”

“Yeah, he’s just… freshening up.” Yoongi subconsciously squared his shoulders. “So… Jiminie, huh?”

“Um. Yeah.” Chanyeol blinked.

“What are your intentions with him?” He coolly asked, knowing he can come off as stern if need be.

“Oh, uh… date him, I guess?” Chanyeol said. “Jimin is sweet boy and I think he’s very handsome, and we got along well. He have same interests.”

Yoongi somehow felt a little sour. “Well. Get him back before 11.”

“Sure.” Chanyeol said as Jimin appeared.

“Hyung!” Jimin said and Yoongi immediately turned to him only to find him looking at Chanyeol with a grin. Yoongi suddenly felt a sense of unease at how happy Jimin looked, grinning up at Chanyeol, nerves seeming to be easily hidden underneath a charismatic yet still shy smile. “Sorry about that. The wait, I mean. I see you’ve meant Yoongi hyung.”

“Mm,” Chanyeol said. “You look… incredible, Jimin,” Yoongi rolled his eyes subtly when he noticed how Chanyeol raked his eyes all over Jimin’s body, halting his gaze a little too many times for Yoongi’s comfort.

He jostled at his own thoughts, frowning at himself. No. He shouldn’t be this possessive over Jimin. Of course, he was Jimin’s friend and was protective of him, but… Jimin was a clever boy, he could take care of himself.

 But he doesn’t  have to do it alone.

“Thank you, hyung… you look good too,” Jimin beamed before turning to face Yoongi. “You can stay here, hyung,  just don’t eat all my food.”

“Yah, you brat, I bought all your groceries last week, you still haven’t paid me,” Yoongi murmured, feeling a little flustered, scared that Chanyeol would think Yoongi, a guy older than Jimin, would be ripping off of him.

“I know, hyung, I’m teasing,” Jimin laughed, the sound light and airy before he patted on Yoongi’s shoulder. “I’m going now!”

“Have a good evening,” Yoongi said to the both of them.

“Let’s go!” Jimin turned back to Chanyeol and, so, they were gone, the sound of Jimin asking Chanyeol how his day was fading into silence.

Yoongi frowned at the discomfort settling in his stomach. He tried to blame it on his hunger or maybe he had gotten sick, but Yoongi was a little too old to be making excuses to himself.

But…

This feeling…

Was it… jealousy?

Was Yoongi jealous?

Dizzy, Yoongi sat down and tried to understand why.

He was pretty sure, deep down, he knew the answer.

--

Jimin entered his flat humming a song under his breath. “Hyung, I’m home! Hm, are you still around?” He frowned as he looked around the seemingly empty space. “Your shoes were outside though…”

Jimin decided that maybe Yoongi was in the bathroom or something and walked towards the kitchen area.

He screamed when he noticed a figure sitting on the floor, head knocked back, a beer bottle in their hand.

“Hyung?” Jimin whispered, shell-shocked. “Oh my God, hyung, are you okay?” He knelt down beside Yoongi, shaking him. “Oh my God!”

Yoongi’s eyes slowly tore open and Jimin let out a breath of relief. “J-Jiminie?”

“Oh, God, hyung, I thought you passed out!” Jimin collapsed on the floor, heart pounding.

“Oh… I must have just fallen asleep…” Yoongi frowned, looking like he was confused as well. “How did I end up on the floor…?”

“Aish, hyung, you worried me,” Jimin pouted. “You’re drinking?”

“Oh…” Yoongi murmured as the both of them eyed the bottles lying next to Yoongi. “Sorry. I’ll refill your stock soon.”

“Why?” Jimin asked softly. He knew his hyung hasn’t drunk in a while, and would never drink just for the heck of it.

Yoongi looked torn for a second.

“You can tell me, hyung. But if you don’t wanna, I won’t push you, mm?” Jimin said kindly.

Yoongi let out an airy sigh. “Jimin… I… I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but,” Yoongi swallowed. “It might ruin me if I don’t try to say anything.”

Jimin frowned hard. It sounded really serious, and Yoongi was fidgeting, something he would only do when he was seriously nervous or anxious. Jimin immediately reached forwards and encased Yoongi’s hand in his small ones, squeezing them tightly, hoping the motion had provided some comfort and encouragement.

“I…” He started. “I don’t know why, but just now… seeing you with Chanyeol… it made me feel… things.”

“Things?”

“Feelings.”

Jimin processed the words. “Do you mean… you don’t like Chanyeol?” Jimin frowned. “Well, hyung, it’s really not serious yet, and I think he’s a decent guy—”

“N-no, Jimin-ah, I don’t mean like that… I just…”

Jimin tilted his head. It definitely wasn’t often his hyung stammered like this. He gave his hands another squeeze.

“Jimin, I was jealous.”

The words surprised Jimin, his grip immediately loosening. “…Hah?”

Yoongi closed his eyes. “I… I didn’t like the way he was looking at you. I didn’t like he was the one looking at you. And I’m sorry that sounds possessive of me, I know I don’t own you, but somehow, somehow…” Yoongi’s shoulders fell, seeming to deflate, thumb weakly caressing the back of Jimin’s hand almost subconsciously. “I… I’m sorry, Jimin. I don’t know. Maybe I’ve just been lonely after Hoseok and I’s breakup, but I did some thinking and these days I just—” Yoongi swallowed. “Never mind. J-just pretend I never said anything, would you?” Yoongi’s cheeks were red.

“Hyung…” Jimin whispered. “Hyung?”

Yoongi wordlessly nodded.

“Do you mean… you like me?” Jimin asked. “More than a friend?”

Yoongi grew redder. “Mm.”

Jimin’s heart was pounding, his head was spinning. “Really?”

“I-I think so.”

The words nearly sent Jimin into a catatonic state. Jimin released Yoongi’s head and tried to understand everything.

After… after all these years?

Jimin just couldn’t absorb it. He couldn’t believe it. It must be some kind of misunderstanding, people don’t… people don’t just suddenly like someone they’ve known for years and years.

“I think you should go to bed, hyung.” Jimin just said quietly.

Yoongi looked up, eyes looking hurt and it took Jimin all he had to not just kiss him and tell him how long he had waited for Yoongi to say something like that.

Because it wasn’t real, it couldn’t be.

“Jimin…”

“You’re drunk and tired. Let’s talk in the morning,” Jimin just said, eyes not meeting his hyung’s. “Just… go to bed.”

Yoongi silently got onto his feet. “G-goodnight then, Jiminie…”

Both of them cried themselves to sleep that night.

--

Yoongi woke up to an empty flat.

A cup of coffee sat on the kitchen island next to a tuna bun.

His heart ached, stomach churning.

More than the embarrassment of rejection, Yoongi was just upset that he had ruined their friendship just like he had feared.

But… he had to tell Jimin. He didn’t want to hide his feelings, not with Jimin. He trusted Jimin with all of himself.

Yoongi didn’t know why he never realized before. Jimin was… Jimin had always been there by his side, beautiful, kind, sweet and understanding. Jimin was there, during Yoongi’s darkest hours, comforting and holding him. And Jimin was there too whenever Yoongi was happy, celebrating with him, pushing him even higher.

Yoongi’s eyes filled up with tears. Jimin had always been there.

“Idiot,” Yoongi whispered at the ceiling. “It’s Jimin, ah, you idiot.”

All these years, all of the time, Jimin had been his constant. And Yoongi had never doubted loving Jimin, he just never considered it could be that way.

But now… now, he wasn’t sure anymore.

Jimin always made Yoongi happy. He always made Yoongi feel so safe even in his short arms and small stature. His smiles always radiated like warm sunlight that provided Yoongi with the sense of home.

Home.

Jimin was home.

Even when Yoongi’s stepfather had been sentenced, and his mother had screamed when he chased him out of the house, Jimin had took him in, cared for him, loved with all his heart. Jimin always protected Yoongi and he always made sure he was happy.  Jimin was always patient to hear Yoongi’s thoughts, Jimin was always listening, always comforting, always so… so...

So Jimin.

That was the only thing Yoongi could say because Jimin was just Jimin.

And Yoongi loved Jimin.

And for the first time, he realized, this love he felt could be more than just in a platonic way.

Yoongi swallowed. He couldn’t handle this anymore.  

He stuffed the tuna bun into his mouth, grabbed his jacket and dashed out of the apartment.

He had to find Jimin.

He had to go home.

--

Jimin moved with the melody, feeling the melancholy of the music settle beneath his skin, into his bones. He was one with the gentle strings, body perfectly in sync with the rhythm. The singer of the lyrical piece spoke of aching and pain and Jimin all but bled with her.

Everything hurt. Jimin was so confused. Yoongi hyung couldn’t possibly suddenly realize he liked Jimin like that. It wasn’t fair. Jimin had to deal with his hidden love for years, and Yoongi just decided to break that wall and tell Jimin he liked him?

Jimin shook his head and kept dancing, trying to focus on the music, on the beats.

But Jimin loved Yoongi, wanted to be with Yoongi since ages ago, when he was a freaking teen. But what if Yoongi’s feelings were just temporary?

Jimin would be even more broken and their friendship would perish.

Jimin’s head was hurting with all of these thoughts, and his dancing got rougher and harder until—

The sound of a slamming door snapped Jimin out of his thoughts and he gasped in surprise, turning around only to find a panting boy leaning against the door.

“J-Jimin.”

Jimin swallowed.

“Jimin, I—” Yoongi looked up, eyes glinting with the unshed tears. “I really like you.”

And I love you. For so long now.

“You make me so happy. And I never realized just how happy you make me. You are the reason I’m alive, Jimin. I would have probably killed himself if no one had been there for me. I would have never testified, I would have probably believed all the words he threw in my face. But you always protected me, you always lifted me up even when I had no idea what I was in this world. You are the reason why I make music, you are the reason why I still choose to carry on with my dreams. It’s you. It’s all you, and you are my home, and I cannot bear to lose you so,” Yoongi sucked in a deep breath. “If you don’t love me like that, if you can’t… then, please, at least, just keep letting me love you like a friend, I… I can’t lose you, Jimin.”

A second passed. The studio had gone silent now that the music had finished, the only sound being Yoongi’s heaving.  

Another second passed.

And then Jimin all but bawled.

“Hyung,” Jimin cried.

Yoongi seemed startled but immediately rushed forward to take Jimin into his arms. “J-Jimin?”

“Hyung, I can’t lose you too,” Jimin cried into Yoongi’s shoulder. “I-I-It’s,” Jimin was shaking so hard it was hard to talk. God, here Yoongi was, so brave to bear his heart for Jimin yet he ended up being the one needing to comfort Jimin. “Ah,” Jimin parted away to wipe his tears. “It’s why I have never told you how much I,” He choked on his words. “How much I love you, hyung, for years now.” He whispered quietly.

Yoongi was silent.

“You love me, Jiminie?”

“I—” Jimin couldn’t exactly take his words back now, could he? So he sucked in a deep breath and willed himself. “I love you, hyung.”

“Like that?”

“L-like that.”

Yoongi was quiet for a moment before he started shaking beside Jimin.

And then the two of them were crying against each other loudly, both desperately trying to comfort the other, but failing to do so, only managing to make the other cry even harder.

“I can’t s-stop crying, hyungie,” Jimin dragged out, sniffling.

“Me neither,” Yoongi’s voice was muffled. “We’re such a mess, aren’t we?”

“I really love you, hyung,” Jimin hiccupped. “It’s okay that you don’t love me.”

“Yet.” Yoongi finished.

Jimin closed his eyes, his sobbing finally slowing down. “Yet…” Jimin echoed. “What… what do we do now, hyung?”

“Mm… we just keep doing whatever we’ve done since we’ve known each other,” Yoongi said. “We’ll laugh at each other, with each other, cry together, eat together, love together. We’ll keep supporting each other and keep pushing each other onwards.”

Jimin basked in those words before he let out a snicker.

“What?”

“That’s cute and all, hyung,” Jimin giggled. “But what I meant was, what are we going to do now. Like, right now. I’m hungry, hyung, I want to eat.”

Yoongi was silent for a moment before he let out a bark of laughter, joining Jimin. “I say poetic shit like that and you just mock me. Can’t you play along?”

“Sorry, hyungie,” Jimin laughed, finally pulling away to grin at the elder. “I’m just really hungry. Bring me out on our first date?”

“Brat,” Yoongi said fondly, reaching out to caress Jimin’s face. “Where do you want to eat?”

“Somewhere fancy, so I can fit in just right with my dance leggings,”  Jimin shimmied in his thin pants. Yoongi’s cheeks heated up a little.

“Aish, go change, you dummy, I’ll bring the car around.” Yoongi stuck a hand into his pocket to retrieve his car keys.

“Okay, I’ll be quick,” Jimin sang, cheeks pink with happiness, heart almost bursting.

“It’s okay, take your time,” Yoongi murmured, beginning to make his way out of the studio room.

“Wait!” Jimin shouted at Yoongi’s retreating back. The elder turned around and Jimin dashed forwards, planting his lips on Yoongi’s cheek.

“There,” Jimin whispered, watching as Yoongi’s face redden. “I’ll see you in a bit, hyung!”

And off he went.

Yoongi pressed a hand to his cheek, lips curling into a smile, shaking his head, knowing that everything was going to be alright.

--

“Hyungs?”

Jimin and Yoongi both looked up, surprised to see Jungkook standing there with a tray in his hands. Jungkook’s eyes seemed to graze over his hyungs’ intertwinted hands but he didn’t comment on it.

“Jungkook, what are you doing here?” Yoongi asked pleasantly.

“Oh, I’m just getting some lunch with Taehyungie.”

“Join us! We’ve got room in our booth,” Jimin invited, before hesitating and asking Yoongi with his eyes. The eldest gave a small nod.  

Jimin was grateful Jungkook didn’t ask much about what was going on between the two. Jimin wasn’t sure he had the capacity to really explain everything that had happened. He just wanted to enjoy the now, the present, the happiness that was swimming in—

“Oh my God why are you guys having a moment and holding hands!!!”

Taehyung stormed up to the table, pointing at Jimin with wide eyes. “You! Explain! Now!” Taehyung screeched before screaming again, holding up a hand. “NO! Don’t explain yet! Let me call the others to come so you can explain, mister! And you too,” He turned to Yoongi. “You sly little thing, dating not one but TWO people in our friendship group, you sly, sly boy!”

“Hey, it’s hyung to you!”

Jimin let out a laugh, shaking his head. What did he expect, really? Jimin watched as Taehyung and Yoongi bickered, Jungkook grinning at the scene, and then ten minutes later having Seokjin dragging Namjoon into the diner, then Hoseok showing up with his girlfriend too.

This was much better anyway. Jimin was right at home, and so was Yoongi. Seeing the whole table full of happiness, Jimin couldn’t help but swell with the emotion as well.

Jimin had so, so much love to give, and here, right here, were all the people who would gladly receive it.