Work Text:
Sonny Carisi was your everything.
He was a detective in night school, and you were the girl who color coded all her notes just so he knew what you were outlining when he leaned over your desk every day and asked if you wanted to study together later. He brought you coffee every night and told you stories about the different cases he worked on and you thought he was the most interesting person in the world.
Sonny always made you feel like you were the most important thing in his life and you told him on multiple occasions that you were so lucky to have such a great friend like him. So great that the two of you considered it natural to be falling into bed with each other every night after class - at least you did. You thought that maybe you could even come to love him.
He had missed class one night and hadn’t texted you. The last time this happened, he had arrived at your apartment in the middle of the night, walking directly past you and into the bathroom, scrubbing dried blood off his face furiously. You were terrified all night and Sonny finally appearing in your home did nothing to make you feel better. He had curled up in bed and depended on you for a comfort you weren’t sure how to provide. He kept waking up with sweats and shakes and kept you up half the night whimpering.
This time around, he came back late, dragging his hand down his face as he closed the door behind him. You don’t know why you had even bothered buzzing him in - you should have been sleeping. He spotted you sitting on the couch, knees drawn up to your chest.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, dropping his bag by the door and made his way to sit next to you on the couch. There was a whole cushion between you two and you drew in a sharp breath. “I should have called. Crazy day at work.”
“I can’t do this,” you blurted out. Stunned, Sonny quietly turned to look at you.
“What?” he said, voice cracking.
“I can’t do this,” you repeated, wrapping your arms around your knees. “I can’t deal with freaking out every day about whether or not you’re coming to class or if you’re on the job or if you’re going to die. I’m not cut out for this, Sonny.” You two sat in silence as Sonny clenched and unclenched his hands on his knees. “It’s not working out for me.”
“Can’t we work something out? I thought you loved me…” You could hear his voice catching in his throat as he tried not to show his emotions ready to burst at the seams. You shook your head, avoiding his eyes lest you start crying too. You got up with a start, heading for your bedroom and closing the door behind you.
You didn’t expect him to follow you, but you wanted him to. A small part of you wanted him to come barreling through the door and trying to convince you to change your mind. But he didn’t.
You pressed your ear to the door and heard his soft muffled sobs. Whatever had happened today at work was devastating, but you could not sacrifice your own sanity for it. Maybe at another point in your life, if he was willing, you could try again. You heard footsteps shuffling around your apartment, and against your better judgment, you decided to open the door.
As your door swung open, you saw the front door swing closed, taking Sonny with it.