Chapter Text
November 6th, 1999
Isaac-Mallory Counseling Center
Well, duh! Of course I miss the satellite! I hope you weren’t looking for some kind of breakthrough there. It was where I lived for hundreds of years, it would be weird if I didn’t get attached to it. For the first chunk of my life it was pretty much the only place that existed, you know?
Could you elaborate on that?
Well, I mean, you know!
I’m not sure that I do.
Fine. The Satellite of Love was where I was put together, and I didn’t have any real experience being anywhere else. The whole experiment routine and all, that’s what a normal life was. I mean, on a base level I knew about Earth, and that it was where we were supposed to end up one day, but there wasn’t a whole lot of reality behind it. By the time Mike came along I got into the whole idea of escaping, but even when I was putting a plan together or Mike was trying something out, I never felt like I had to think about not being in the satellite.
But you did leave, didn’t you?
Huh?
At the edge of the universe? Like you told me in our last session?
...Yeah.
So why do you think you went back?
…
Crow?
Yeah, I’m… I’m fine.
Would you mind sharing what you were just thinking about?
…I don’t like… I haven’t talked about it a lot. But when we were… like that, it didn’t feel right. We were free. We didn’t have the movies or the mads or anything. We could do whatever we wanted. I didn’t know what to do. It just felt like another one of the intermissions between parts of the movies, like it wasn’t supposed to last very long. I didn’t even think twice about going back, it just felt like the right- like the only thing to do. Like I wasn’t supposed to exist anywhere else and do anything else but live under the control of a couple of wack-job scientists, watching movies forever, and even if I felt like I hated the movies so bad that it hurt it was still all I’m supposed to do. And I am! I was built to be company on some chew toy-shaped spacecraft! That's why I was built! I wasn't supposed to leave!
...
We’re not just talking about the edge of the universe anymore, are we?
...Yeah.