Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Well, Chidi thought. This is... original.

"I've had a lot of interesting responses to that lecture," he said slowly, "but this is probably the weirdest."

"Oh, what?" Eleanor Shellstrop said with a snort. She'd plunked herself down into the chair across from his desk, even when he told her she had to make an appointment. "You've never had anyone hop a plane, fly halfway around the world, crash into your office, and demand you speak to them?"

"Yes. That is exactly what I'm--wait, what was that?" He stared at her, mouth dropping open a bit. "I'm sorry, Eleanor, did you just say that you flew halfway around the world to come and talk to me?"

If moral philosophy professors were the sort to get stalkers, he'd think Eleanor was one of them.

She nodded. "Yes," she said. "See? See how important it is that we talk?"

"Well, I mean -- I guess, if you're already here, I can shuffle a couple meetings around, and we can--"

"Great!" Eleanor cut him off, and immediately barreled right into an explanation. "Okay, so, like -- one year ago, I almost died. Like, literally, it was within seconds, I almost died. And I kind of had this... I dunno, this epiphany. Yeah, I had this epiphany that my whole life, up until then, I'd been a complete dirtbag, and if I'd died just then, I would've left nothing behind me on Earth but a slowly-fading trail of suckiness. So, I decided to change, turn my life around, and be good from then on."

"Well, good for you!" Chidi said. "That's actually a very common response to near-death experiences. People often have a religious or moral awakening where they're inspired to start doing good for others. Now, some of the great moral philosophers would say that if it took nearly dying for you to be good, maybe you're not really good. But then again, Aristotle would say--"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, Clark Kent. The thing is... it didn't last. Being good sucked a bag of dicks, and it wasn't worth it, so the whole, change myself thing? Didn't stick. I backslid. I backslid hard." Suddenly, her face broke out into a little smile, and she let out a juvenile -- but admittedly adorable -- snort. "Ha! 'Backslid hard.' Title of my porno."

Chidi blinked a couple times, before deciding to just move on. "Okay, so, you went back to your old ways. But that doesn't explain why you're here."

Eleanor, for once, paused, her mouth twisting up a bit as she thought over her answer. Finally, she said, "The other day, I sort of spilled my guts to a really understanding bartender. I thought that only happened in the movies, but he was very chill about it. And he said something interesting to me. He said, 'What do we owe to each other?'"

At those words, Chidi looked up, really looking at Eleanor for the first time.

"Anyway, I don't know why, but that really stuck in my head," she continued. "So I Googled the phrase, and that's how I found your lecture. Three straight hours of you talking about what it means to be good. And, dude, I normally space out halfway through a podcast. So the fact that I actually listened to three hours of your philosophical junk is a big deal, you're welcome. And now I feel like... this is where I need to be. In order to be a good person, I mean. I mean, if anyone can teach me how it's done, it'd be you, right?"

"Well, I mean, I've dedicated myself to the study of ethics and what it means to be a good person, and I've always tried to live a moral life, but--Eleanor, you have to understand, being a good person isn't something that they teach classes in," he said.

"Well, maybe they should!" she said. "Maybe there'd be less dirtbags in the world if they did! Come on, Chidi, I'm throwing myself at your mercy here. Teach me how to be good! If this doesn't work, nothing will!"

Chidi sighed, rubbing his temples. His head hurt. "How long are you in Australia for?" he asked.

"I fly back to Phoenix in five days."

"Oh my G--" He cut himself off, hands flying over his eyes for a moment. When he finally looked at Eleanor again, he said, "You expect me to teach you ethics -- an incredibly complex and subjective issue that has challenged the minds of some of the greatest philosophers that ever lived for centuries -- in five days?"

"Well, I don't expect to be able to write a thesis on it!" she said defensively. "Just, like. Give me the basics. A crash course!" Eleanor's face lit up. "If this works, you could totally get a book deal out of it. Chidi's Five-Day Crash Course in Being Halfway Decent! That'd sell like hotcakes."

"I'm not gonna take on an impossible task for a book deal!"

"Okay, don't do it for the book deal, do it to see if it's impossible. Prove me wrong."

Chidi was silent for a minute. He'd only known Eleanor Shellstrop for about ten minutes, and already, he doubted she was going to be anything like the typical philosophy student. And even if she didn't seem bad, she definitely didn't seem great. Trying to teach her to be ethical -- in five days, no less -- would be a fool's errand. An utter waste of time.

But she'd come all this way. And she was asking for his help.

Chidi let out a long, slow sigh. "...Fine," he finally said.

Eleanor's face brightened. "Wait, really? You'll do it?!"

"I'll do it," Chidi confirmed. He was totally going to regret this, wasn't he?

"Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Chidi! I won't let you down!"

Opening his top desk drawer, Chidi produced a copy of What We Owe to Each Other, and handed it to her. "Read this tonight," he said. "And I'll spend the rest of today drawing up a lesson plan. If I'm gonna do this in less than a week, I need to be properly prepared."

Eleanor nodded. "Got it, got it. No problem, I'll just read this... three-hundred page book in one night..." She flipped through the pages, before suddenly looking up. "Oh, you want me to leave."

"Correct."

She stood, grabbing her purse. "When do I come back?"

"Tomorrow, nine AM," he said.

Eleanor gave a huge grin, and nodded, heading to the door. "See you tomorrow, teach!" And she left, slamming the door behind her in her excitement.

"Bye," Chidi said to the empty space Eleanor no longer occupied.

And that was when the anxiety set in. He'd promised to teach someone who, frankly, came off as kind of a tool, how to be good, in five days. He'd promised to help her become better, to change her life.

Now all that was left to do was... all the actual work.

Chidi groaned, setting his head down on the desk. His stomach hurt.

On the way back to her hotel, Eleanor promised herself that she'd start reading the book Chidi had given her the second she got in her room.

Instead, she bingewatched six hours of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Whatever, she thought. He should've known better. Anyone who'd talked to Eleanor for more than thirty seconds had always (correctly) guessed that she never did her homework even when she did get graded.

Maybe this whole thing was stupid. You couldn't find what it meant to have a conscience in a book. That was just common sense.

She'd settled into bed and was trying to fall asleep for the night when she caught a glimpse of the book, sticking out of her bag. Shaking her head, Eleanor shut off the light and rolled over, determined to ignore it.

Come on, Eleanor, the voice in her said. You know better than this.

Shut up, voice.

Chidi doesn't even know you, but he still agreed to help.

Exactly. If he did know me, he wouldn't have agreed.

No. He would have, because he's a nice person. A good person. The kind of person you want to be, remember?

...

If he can put his whole life on hold for you, you can read a book.

Eleanor let out an exasperated huff, kicking off the hotel's duvet and turning on the bedside lamp. She grabbed the book out of her bag, and opened it to the first chapter.

This was going to work.

This had to work.

Chapter Text

"I'll admit that discourse and debate are two of the most important parts of philosophy and morality, but this really isn't the way to go about it--"

"It is if you're a dumbass!"

Eleanor hadn't even been back in Chidi's office for ten minutes before the arguments began. The really sad part was, this wasn't a record for either one of them. (Chidi had once begun arguing with a colleague about the meaning of Jonathan Dancy's latest Tweet within two minutes of the colleague walking in. Eleanor, meanwhile, had once started a screaming match in her old middle school principal's office back in the winter of '93 in under thirty seconds. Her mother had, quite literally, never been prouder.)

(Holy fuck, her life was pathetic.)

(Wait, no it wasn't. Her life was awesome, it was Chidi's that sucked. Point Shellstrop!)

Eleanor had, against Chidi's expectations, actually read What We Owe To Each Other. He'd honestly been expecting her to forget. Or read a single page, get bored, and then forget. But, no. She read it.

And she'd thought that it was, quote, "Complete crap."

It wasn't that he'd expected her to do a complete 180 overnight. But, well... come on!

The discussion had spiraled out of control pretty quick. So far, two of Chidi's colleagues had popped in to see if someone was being murdered in his office. Which there was. The victim was Chidi's eardrums. Eleanor's voice was surprisingly shrill. (Or maybe not so surprisingly -- the woman was tiny.)

"Look, man, you asked me what I thought of the book, and I told you!" Eleanor said, slumping back into her chair in a manner that made her feel like she was in high school again. And Chidi was the lamest, nerdiest, hottest principal that had ever yelled at her. "Can we just agree that I'm right, you're stupid, and just move on?"

Chidi was massaging his forehead, trying to keep the ever-building migraine at bay. "Eleanor, if I'm going to help you, we're gonna have to find a way to communicate effectively," he said. "And that means with mutual respect."

"Oh, what?" Eleanor snorted. "Just because I'm asking you for help, I have to, like, 'listen to you' and 'not curse at you' and 'not steal from your desk drawer when your back is turned'?"

"Uh, yes, that is exactly what I'm say--what's that about stealing from my desk?"

"Whatever," she said, ignoring the question. "Fine. I promise, I'll keep the cursing down to an absolute minimum. Shithead. Okay, starting now."

Deep breaths, Anagonye. Deep breaths.

"Okay," he said, once he managed to level out his breathing again. He just kept telling himself that, if absolutely nothing else, Eleanor would be a great training session for future nightmare students. Or maybe just a great case study in why this university needed better security. "So you didn't care for the book. Maybe that's on me."

"Perfect! It's on you! I love it, keep talking."

"Maybe I started a bit too big," Chidi continued. "Let's talk about the basic philosophers, the ones I tend to base my own classes and code of ethics on. Aristotle, Kant, and Pascal."

"Ooh, Pascal!" Eleanor's eyes brightened up, just a bit. "Like the cute little dragon from that Disney movie, right?"

"Uh... sure." He resisted the urge to tell her that it was a chameleon. "Anyway, Pascal, the human, is most famous for his argument that it is completely reasonable to believe in God, even without proof. Furthermore, he said that people should go about their lives assuming that God does exist, because if He does, then it'll pay off in the next life, assuming there is one."

"And if He doesn't?" Eleanor asked. To his surprise, she actually looked like she was paying attention.

"If there is no God, or afterlife, or anything, then you may not reap any rewards for being good, but you also didn't lose anything," Chidi explained. "It may or may not hurt you to be a jerk -- but it'll never hurt you to not be one."

"Disagree. I left a note for someone when I accidentally scratched her car, and she sued me. For whiplash."

Chidi cringed in sympathy. People could be kind of garbage sometimes. "Okay, so sometimes it'll backfire. But that's all temporary."

"But if there is no afterlife, then everything is temporary," Eleanor said.

"Yeah...?"

"So, if that's true, then, what? You were just a good person for no reason?"

Chidi paused. "...Why would you need a reason to be a good person?" he asked. "Because, I'm gonna be straight with you, Eleanor -- most philosophers would agree, if your reasons for acting ethical are just for some sort of reward, then you aren't really being good. You're being self-serving."

"...Ohhhhhh, wait, is that what moral desert is?"

"Uh... yes, actually," Chidi said. "Wait, how do you know what that is?"

"Long story." She waved it off. "Okay, okay, so Pascal thinks we should be nice because we might get smited if we don't. Makes sense, but--wait. Waaaait. Isn't that moral desert, too? Being good in an effort to suck up to God?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

Fuck, that was actually a good point.

"Okay, let's move on to Aristotle," he said, too quickly. "He believed that people are born with the capacity to do good, but in order to really be a good person, you have to do good deeds; you have to practice. The more you do good things, the better you become, and, hopefully, it becomes just part of your character."

"That's what I want," Eleanor said. "I like this guy. He makes sense. Doing good will make you good." Suddenly, her face fell. "But... I did good for a whole six months, and I went right back to being the bitch I always am." And then, a groan. "Oh, God, what does that say about me?"

"Maybe not as much as you think," Chidi said. "Eleanor, the simple fact that you're here, trying to learn, says a lot more about you then that does."

Eleanor met his eyes. "Okay, nerd," she said. "Don't get all warm and fuzzy on me, not without buying me a drink."

He snorted. "Sure," he said.

Eleanor turned away, rolling her eyes at him, but in her smirk, Chidi saw a hint - just a hint - of affection.

Chidi grinned in spite of himself. Maybe she wasn't hopeless. Maybe she wasn't so bad.

"So, who's this other guy you mentioned?" Eleanor asked.

"Kant. He's best known for his theory on lying."

She gave a sheepish, hopeful grin. "That it isn't so awful as everyone makes it out to be and gets a bad rep?" she guessed.

"That it's always wrong, every time, no exceptions."

"Fucker."

"Yeah, it's not a popular one," Chidi admitted. "But it's what I live my life by. Kant believed that even if a known murderer turned up at your door and asked you where your friend lived, you should tell him."

"What the hell?" Eleanor said, looking downright appalled. "That's nuts!"

"I mean, I assume Kant would be fine with you notifying the police immediately afterwards, but--"

"Or, hey, I have a better idea; don't tell the murderer where your friend lives." Eleanor was getting surprisingly worked up. "And - and, what, lying is never permitted? Ever? What world did this guy live in? Because, buddy, I can think of fifty scenarios where lying is a-okay."

"Lying is never okay!" Chidi said. "That's one of the first lessons I can remember my mother teaching me!"

Eleanor snorted. "Oh, come on, like you've never told a white lie. Even to spare someone's feelings?"

Chidi hesitated. "I did... once. And it nearly ate me alive." He took a deep breath. "One time, my friend Harry got this hideous pair of boots, and he asked me if I liked them. I lied and said that I did, and it haunted me. Every day. For three years."

Eleanor was staring at him like he was a particularly pathetic high schooler trying to get into a bar. "Dude. Three years? I think this is less about ethics and more about you being crazy." And then, her eyes widened. "Ohhhhh no. Chidi, tell me you did not--"

"Yes, I told him the truth, and I instantly felt better!" Chidi said brightly.

She didn't look all that impressed. "Dude. You were so tortured over doing the polite thing and telling a guy you liked his freaking boots that you obsessed over it for three years? And told him you hated them after all that time?"

"Yes. And I wouldn't have been in that position if I'd just been honest."

"No, dude. You wouldn't have been in that position if you got a reality check. No one is honest all the time, and sometimes? The truth causes more damage. I mean, Jesus Christ, man, you couldn't have just let the guy enjoy his boots? I mean, I'm a jerk, but come on. At the end of the day, who cares if you lie about liking them? They're boots, it doesn't matter."

"He did enjoy those boots," Chidi admitted. "He even wore them into surgery."

Eleanor suddenly looked up, blue eyes flashing. "Dude. No. No, tell me you did not--"

"What? Oh, God, no, no, no, I didn't tell him I hated the boots right before the surgery, if that's what you're thinking."

She relaxed. "Ohhh, okay. Thank God. I mean, I guess even you wouldn't be that oblivious."

"I waited until after he was out of surgery."

Aaaaand she was back to being pissed. "Seriously?! Okay, listen -- I know I came here to learn form you, but let me teach you a little something," she said, leaning forward. "If you refuse to lie, or even bend the truth a bit, 100% of the time, no one will want to hang out with you. Ever. Maybe you'll be ethical, but you'll be ethical alone."

"That's not true."

"Oh, yeah? That guy -- Boots Guy, whatshisname. Tell me something. After that little incident, is he still your friend?"

Chidi's mouth dropped open slightly, and he couldn't find words for a solid thirty seconds. Eleanor just leaned back in her chair, clearly understanding the answer.

Finally, Chidi found something to say. "We just don't hang out that often anymore. That's all."

"Aw, it's cute how you managed to find a way to tell the truth and lie at the same time," Eleanor replied.

She'd hit a nerve.

"Okay, let's wrap it up for today," Chidi said. "I have a class soon, anyway." That was an outright lie, and he had a feeling Eleanor knew it. "Homework - since you don't like Kant, find a philosophical theory you do like. Use Google 'til you come across one that works for you."

"Fine," she said, rising to her feet. "Your homework is to send Boots Guy an email apologizing for being an infuriating dingbat."

"I'm the professor, you're the student," he said. "You don't give me homework, that's not how this works."

But she was already heading towards the door. As she went, he heard her mutter, "This is why everyone hates moral philosophy professors."

He rolled his eyes. "So I've heard."

Chapter Text

Chidi had been staring at a blank email composition window for almost an hour when Eleanor showed up the next morning. Chidi closed his laptop, half-hoping she'd have forgotten about the homework she'd given him. But deep down, he knew that even if Eleanor forgot, he wouldn't be able to. Her words echoed in the tightly-coiled, constantly screaming shithole he called a brain, bouncing around like a ping-pong ball, and he knew why.

Because she may have had something resembling a point.

Which sucked a big one.

Eleanor didn't seem to notice Chidi's internal crisis (what a surprise), and in fact looked much cheerier than normal. 

"I just became your best student," she announced, dropping her purse onto the floor as she plopped down into her usual chair.

"No offense, but I highly doubt that," he said.

"Uh, excuse me, but I didn't just find one philosopher I liked, I found three, so -- yeah, offense."

Chidi raised his eyebrows. "Three?" he repeated. Then, a smile crept its way onto his face. "Why, Eleanor Shellstrop, are you telling me you gave more than 10% effort to this assignment?"

Eleanor beamed. "I am indeed. And you know what? I think I'll make a habit of it. 37% effort, from now on."

That actually made him laugh. As blunt and sometimes downright mean as Eleanor could be, he had to admit, he liked having her around. Maybe it was something about the casual, one-on-one nature of these lessons, but he felt an ease, a companionship with her than he never felt with any of his students. (Or, hell, even his colleagues. Or his girlfriends, come to think of it.) He felt like they were... friends, not a mentor and student. Maybe it was because Eleanor was so... herself with him. Eleanor brought many things to the table, but bullshit wasn't one of them.

It was nice.

"Okay, okay, tell me, who are these three lucky philosophers?" Chidi asked, grabbing a pen and pad to take notes with.

"Okay, first, and I think you'll like this one -- Socrates." She grinned radiantly. "You philosophy types practically come all over yourselves for that dude, so I thought I'd look him up."

Chidi blinked, trying not to dwell too much on her phrasing. "What did you like about him?" he asked.

"Well, it wasn't so much his ideas," Eleanor said. "More that he was... you know, he admitted he didn't know everything, but he was so good at arguing with other people, that he was able to go, 'Fuck all y'all, you don't know shit, either!'"

"Wow, did you look up ancient transcripts?"

Now it was Eleanor's turn to blink indignantly. "Chidi Anaconda--"

"Anagonye."

"--did you just say something snide?" Before he could reply, Eleanor's eyes crinkled as a smirk spread across her face. "My God. I successfully broke a teacher. I'm so proud."

Chidi snorted. "Okay, okay, who were the other two?"

"The second one I found that I didn't totally hate was Hume. Basically, his deal was skepticism -- he was like the Dana Scully of philosophers. Early season Scully, I mean," Eleanor said. "Like, Hume believed that we can't really know anything about God, or human nature, or anything you can think of. We can think we know, but we can't really, like, know-know. You know?"

"I'm getting the sense skepticism is a strong point for you," Chidi said.

Eleanor nodded. "Look, man, the universe is big. And scary. And, honestly, kind of trippy. And then when we try to bring questions of 'what does it mean to be good' and 'what even is the mind' into it, it gets... it gets to a point where my head wants to implode on itself." She shook her head lightly. "I guess that means I shouldn't be a moral philosophy professor, huh?"

Chidi laughed. "Actually, that feeling is part of the job," he admitted. "I haven't not had a migraine since 2007."

She let out a chuckle, before saying, "Anyway, my last dude is one that's still alive. Jonathan Dancy -- the moral particles guy."

"Do you mean moral particularism?"

"Is that the thing where it's like, you can't have a rigid set of moral rules for yourself, because no rule will work 100% of the time, in all situations?"

"Yeah."

"Then yeah!" And then, a smug smile. "Which means I can say, with complete certainty, that Jonathan Dancy would think Kant is full of shit."

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, I imagine he probably does," he admitted. "But, you know, Kant could probably take Dancy in a fight."

"How could he possibly take down Dancy? He's dead!"

And they were off.

But still. That was a whole six minutes before they began arguing.

Not bad.

It had been, all-in-all, a pretty good day. Once he got used to the fact that Eleanor was going to argue with him every lesson, Chidi was able to look at it as an intellectually important bit of lively debate. And, hell, maybe it was.

After Chidi had drawn the lesson to a close, Eleanor had surprised him. Collecting her purse she said, "I don't know why, but I would kill for some frozen yogurt right now. I saw a place on my way over here. Want to come with me?"

Chidi looked up. "...You're inviting me to--?"

"To get frozen yogurt. Yes." Eleanor didn't seem to realize why he was so surprised. "Come on, man, I'll even pay."

When Chidi hesitated, she shifted on her feet, tucking a lock of blonde hair behind her ear.

"...Look, Chidi, it's... it's recently occurred to me that maybe I asked you for a lot when I showed up here, and that I probably haven't the most considerate student," she said, sounding like the words were physically paining her. "Least I could do is pay for frozen yogurt once or twice."

Chidi chuckled. "Bribing your guilt away, huh?" he asked, only half-joking.

"I prefer to think of it as buying a gift for a friend."

So that was how Chidi found himself here, sitting across from Eleanor, eating some less-than-satisfactory strawberry fro-yo. The sun was strong, beating down on them, the breeze barely enough to compensate.

"May I ask you a personal question?" Eleanor asked.

"I think we're beyond politeness," Chidi said. "Ask away."

"Why'd you become a moral philosophy professor?"

Chidi had been asked some variation of this question more times than he could count, but this time felt... different, somehow.

"Well, ever since I was old enough to comprehend the difference between right and wrong, I've been dedicated with trying to be right, as much as I possibly can be," Chidi explained. "So, every choice I make, I always ask myself, how will this affect those around me? How will this affect the world?" He sighed, taking another bite of the sweet treat that still basically tasted like lies. "I just want to leave the world a better place than it was when I got here. Or at least not make things worse. Anyway, I read a lot, everything about morality and ethics that I could get my hands on. Finally, one of my teachers told me that I could study this forever, and teach other people, too. So, here I am."

"...And here we are," Eleanor said. She let out a mirthless chuckle. "Man. I never gave that much thought to my actions' consequences. I mean, I did. For awhile. But like I said... backslid hard."

"Title of your porno, I remember."

Eleanor had an odd look on her face. It wasn't quite sad. More... remorseful. "When I was trying to be good, my friends would just tell me it was no good. That it was useless, and that it was no fun, and why bother?" she said. "Like, being good just wasn't worth it. So why even try?"

Chidi was silent for a moment. He knew people like that existed, of course -- but he'd always made an effort to distance himself from them.

"But you're trying, now," he said quietly. "You flew all the way here, to try and learn to be good."

"Yeah. I guess I did." She met his eyes for a moment. "And it's actually been easier than I thought. Not easy. But... easier than it was back home. But now I'm worried. Like... once I leave here, I'll go back to what I was. That I'll revert again. I don't want that to happen."

"Well..." He thought it over for a moment. Could he really say what he was thinking?

What if he offended her? Or hurt her feelings? Or what if she got defensive, and walked out on their lessons? What if his advice backfired, and she blamed him? What if, what if, what if--

Then, he remembered, not for the first time, that incident one year ago when his indecisiveness had nearly gotten him killed. To this day, he had no idea who pushed him out of the way -- Uzo hadn't seen, either -- but he knew that if they hadn't been there, he'd be dead. Because he couldn't choose a bar.

His dithering was a curse. He knew that now.

Fuck it. He was just gonna say it.

"Well, it sounds like maybe you need better friends," he said. "Real friends are supposed to encourage you to be better. Not tear you down. If the friends you have back in Phoenix aren't encouraging you to be your best self, maybe it's time to reconsider why you're even hanging out with them."

Eleanor smiled. "I think you may be onto something. Now, speaking of friends--"

Oh, no.

"--did you write that email?"

Chidi tore his gaze away. "I wrote twelve drafts, but didn't send any of them," he admitted. He was getting better about his indecisiveness, but the whole situation with Harry was complicated. Because he knew, deep down, that he'd really hurt someone he considered a friend. And that was just a bitter pill to swallow. "I want it to be perfect."

"I don't think it needs to be perfect. Just sincere. Give me your phone."

"What?"

"Give me your phone." She extended a pinkie towards him. "I promise, I won't fuck you over."

Chidi gave it a moment's thought, before linking his pinkie with hers. He couldn't help it; he believed her. And he handed her his phone.

"Boots Guy is named Harry, right?" she asked, fingernails clicking rapidly against the touchscreen.

"Yeah. What are you doing?"

"Just trust me." She looked up. "Now, just... what's the basic gist of what you want to tell Harry? Between you and me."

Chidi let out a long breath. "Just... that I'm sorry. That I put my ideals ahead of his feelings, and that wasn't being a good friend. And that it's not his fault I was an idiot about the whole thing, and I'm really sorry I hurt his feelings. And that I wish we were still friends. You know?"

"I do."

"I just have no clue how to say all that." He'd been so distracted by his own thoughts, he hadn't noticed that Eleanor had been typing the entire time.

At least, not until she said, "You just said it."

"What?!"

Grinning, Eleanor handed him his phone back. Eyes wide, Chidi stared at the screen. Eleanor had typed out, more or less, exactly what he'd just said, except in first-person, and sent it to Harry in an email.

"You apologized for me?" he said, voice squeaking.

"Nope. You apologized, I was just the scribe." Eleanor leaned back in her seat, looking very proud of herself. "The apology's out there now, and it's 100% authentic, because you were talking to me. You're welcome."

"I... thank you," Chidi said, and he was surprised to find that he meant it. "I--I actually feel better."

"Apologies are a highly underrated drug," Eleanor said. "I mean, even though she kicked me out, I surprisingly did feel a little better after I fessed up to Madison about the whole 'Dress Bitch' thing."

"...The what, now?"

Chapter Text

Chidi always told himself that he didn't have a favorite student. And, honestly, he didn't.

Until Eleanor.

Eleanor was, by far, his worst student, and his favorite. It should've been an oxymoron, but here they were. She argued, she swore in class, she talked over him, she complained about the homework, she insulted Immanuel Kant to his face... but he couldn't help it. He liked her. He liked her earnestness. He liked her wit. He liked her out-of-the-box thinking. And, hell, a little part of him liked that she argued.

He liked that she was challenging.

So maybe that's why, after their next lesson, he said, "Can I walk you back to your hotel?"

Eleanor looked up, surprised. "Don't you have another class after me?" she asked.

"Not on Fridays," he said. "I managed to get a schedule that lets me leave campus early on Fridays. I'd be happy to walk over to wherever you're staying with you. Maybe we could pick up lunch on the way."

"Oh. Well. If you're sure," she said. "Maybe it'll be a good thing for you to walk with me. You know, gotta protect me from all the crime that's just running rampant around here."

Chidi laughed, rolling his eyes. "Right," he said. "If we get mugged, I'm using you as a shield."

"Hey, same to you, pal."

By the time they'd finished with lunch (and a conversation that had turned into a debate about the educational value of Celebrity Big Brother), it was the middle of the afternoon. It had, surprisingly, cooled down a bit, and the usually unforgiving sun was hidden behind some clouds, which meant it actually wasn't unbearable to be outside for a change. The hotel turned out to be an hour's walk, but honestly, Chidi didn't mind. It was an excuse to hang around Eleanor a little longer.

(The only reason he wasn't currently obsessing himself into a tizzy over the ethics of developing a crush on your student, unofficial or not, was because he'd taken that steadily-developing crush and crammed it into a cardboard box in the corner of his brain. Specifically, the box that was hypothetically labelled, "Damn, Haha, I'm Gonna Have to Deal With That Sooner or Later.")

(That box got used a worrying amount.)

"So I grew up in Phoenix," Eleanor was saying. "But I moved to Tempe after high school for college. Then - back to Phoenix."

"What'd you major in?" Chidi asked. "I went to undergrad school in Senegal, where I grew up, but got my PhD here in Sydney. Moral philosophy, of course."

"Of course," Eleanor repeated. "I didn't major in anything fancy. Sales. I'd already been working various shitty retail jobs since I was fourteen, figured I may as well major in what I was good at."

"Is that what you do now?"

"Uh... a week ago, I would've said yes, but in the name of being good and honest -- I work for a Ponzi scheme within a Ponzi scheme. A Ponponzizi scheme, if you will." She glanced over at him, bright eyes wary, as if worried he would yell at her, or just look at her with judgement. (There was, he admitted, a teensy bit of judgement, but he did his best to force it down.) "But--but I'm gonna quit. As soon as I find someplace better. I can't leave if I don't have a steady income to go to."

"That's fair," Chidi admitted. "Ethics are great, but you gotta eat."

"And pay rent, and keep my car functioning, and pay for AC..." she continued. "Living in Phoenix is surprisingly expensive, given that it's... you know, Phoenix." Eleanor let out a small laugh, twirling a bit as she walked. Chidi smiled, too. Her joy was infectious. "It's been so nice to get away for a little bit. The last proper vacation I had was... I dunno, maybe three years ago? And it wasn't that great. I couldn't afford to do much. Shockingly, working for a crooked sales agency doesn't pay that well."

"How long have you been working for them?" Chidi asked.

"About six months, now," she said. "I actually worked for the same guy at a different Ponzi scheme for a few years before that, but when I was on my first do-good stint, I quit and worked for an environmental agency for awhile." Her face scrunched up a bit. "Ugh, I just remembered. My coworker there is another person I owe an apology to. I kind of treated him like crap."

"'Another'? Do you have a list?"

"Yes, actually."

They continued walking, talking about nothing in particular. It was nice. For once, Chidi wasn't over-analyzing everything he said, or obsessing over every little thing she said. Was this how normal people had conversations?

(Honestly, the idea of being able to speak to another human being without working himself into a panic attack sounded pretty fake to him.)

They could see Eleanor's hotel in the distance, when the sky opened up with a deafening clap of thunder. Shrieking, Eleanor and Chidi both began running, splashing through puddles as they practically tripped over each other to get indoors. By the time they got to the hotel's front door, they were both soaked to the skin. Chidi followed Eleanor inside, the AC sending a chill through him as soon as they stepped into the lobby.

Eleanor laughed out loud when she looked at Chidi. "You look so stupid!" she said, in between giggles.

"Well - I mean - so do you, probably!" Chidi said. He couldn't actually see Eleanor very well. She was just a vaguely blonde blob in front of him. His glasses were basically useless - he needed to find something to dry them with.

The Eleanor-blob moved, and a couple seconds later, she pressed a tissue into his hand. When he managed to clean his glasses off, he saw that Eleanor, who'd had the misfortune of wearing a white top and sandals, was causing a rather large puddle to grow beneath her. She was trying to shake her hair out like a dog, splattering water droplets all over everything nearby.

"Want to come up to dry off?" Eleanor said. "You can't change clothes but you can at least use a towel."

"That would be great," Chidi said.

With one last shake of her hair, Eleanor reached into her purse for her room key. As they made their way to the elevator, the most obnoxious part of Chidi's brain helpfully decided to pipe up with, Hey, did you notice that you could kind of see through Eleanor's shirt?

No.

What did Kant say about lying, again?

Shut up, brain. I didn't notice anything of the sort.

Hey, you're only human...

SHUT UP, BRAIN.

By the time Eleanor finished changing out of her wet clothes and into a nice, dry pair of pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt, Chidi had managed to use a couple towels to get semi-dry. The operative part of the phrase being "semi." The rain was still coming down rapidly, pounding against the ceiling like drumbeats.

"If you don't want to pay for a cab, you can wait out the storm here," Eleanor said, flopping down onto her bed. The hotel room wasn't huge; it had a bed, a TV, a microwave, a nightstand, and a cushy armchair that Chidi had claimed. "How long do these things usually last?"

"Oh, it could be anywhere from five minutes to a couple hours," Chidi said. "Normally, I check my weather app, but I forgot today."

"Yeah, I've been told I can be a distraction." Eleanor pulled her hair back into a ponytail, glancing over at him. "What do you wanna do? I can put on a Real Housewives marathon."

"I'd rather do anything else," Chidi admitted.

"Okay, how about a game of 20 questions?"

"...So, tell me more about these housewives."

Eleanor grinned, sitting up. "Too late!" she said. "I'll go first -- when you'd go on your first date?"

Chidi let out a sigh, unable to believe he was actually going to go along with this. Had it been literally anyone except Eleanor, he wouldn't have. "Girl named Imani I knew when I was sixteen," he said. "We went out to eat, and her dad came with us. It was pretty crap."

"'It was pretty crap.' Summary of all my relationships thus far." Eleanor let out a laugh. "Okay, now ask me something. Go deep, or dirty. Or both. You know by now that I have no shame."

Chidi thought it over. "You ever been arrested?"

Eleanor snorted. "Of course," she said. "No felonies, but I am banned from sixteen establishments in Phoenix and one in Amsterdam. I'd ask you the same question, but I know you'd probably have a nervous breakdown if you ever did something illegal, so... has your anti-lying policy ever gotten you in trouble with a girlfriend?"

He cringed. "So many," he admitted. "Everyone says they want an honest partner, but... apparently there is such a thing as too much of a good thing."

"Exhibit A: Boots Guy."

"...Yeah." Chidi tried to think of a question that wouldn't be too personal or too inappropriate. Even with Eleanor's blessing, he couldn't bring himself to ask anything that might offend someone. Finally, he decided on, "Have you ever stolen from a friend?"

Eleanor shifted guiltily. "Yeah," she admitted. "Most of my boyfriends, I'd take a few twenties out of their wallets just before I dumped them. Just to, you know, really put the icing on the cake."

"Charming."

"I know. I'm a class act." She thought it over for a moment before asking, "What was your worst job?"

"That's easy," Chidi said, laughing a bit as the memory came to him. "When I was in undergrad school, I spent a year working at a diner on campus that was really popular for its hangover food. You know what's fun about serving greasy food to a bunch of drunk-slash-hungover college students?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

Eleanor laughed. "I feel like I should apologize, since in Tempe, I was one of those drunk-slash-hungover college students. I don't remember much of it, but I'm told I was a nightmare."

He let out a chuckle. "Was?"

"Hey!" But she was smiling.

"Okay... what is the worst thing you ever did at your job?" he asked He couldn't help it; he was curious at how deep the Ponzi rabbit hole went.

"Hmm..." She sat up, thinking it over. "Does it have to be my current job, or any job I've ever had?"

"Any job," Chidi said.

"Okay, so, about... eighteen years ago, I worked for a phone sex line," Eleanor said. "Wasn't fun, or the least bit sexy, but it paid a decent amount. And, honestly, at least my boss there wasn't a total scumbag. I'd probably still be doing it if the internet hadn't driven us out of business. Anyway, one day, I'm taking calls, and I get a woman on the other end, and I was like, Yes, finally, something different. But she said, 'I need you to end my marriage.'"

"What?!" he said, gaping at her.

"I know! I was totally stunned. But this woman said she wanted to divorce her husband, but the pre-nup said that unless he had an affair, she'd get nothing. Apparently, he made quite a lot, and she'd gotten used to a certain standard of living. So she said, 'He calls this line all the time, I overhear him, but because of the confidentiality rules, I can't get anyone else who works here to confirm it. So if I told the judge, it'd be his word against mine. He always gives the same fake name, so if you get him, you'll know. If you agree to help me, your job is to make sure he's so taken with you that when he calls again, he asks for you specifically, and then keep him calling back for a couple weeks.'"

"Jesus, she wanted you to play the long game."

"No kidding. This was back when everyone had landlines, so her plan was, once her idiot husband was lulled into a false sense of security, I'd let her know when he usually called, and one day, she'd set her daughter up to 'catch' him. While he was in the bedroom, talking to me, she'd be in the living room. She'd ask her daughter to pick up the phone to call someone for her aaaaaand..."

"...And you'd still be on the line, ready say something extremely incriminating," Chidi finished.

"Exactly. So it wouldn't be her word against his, and she wouldn't have to ask someone who worked for the line to release information about a client." Eleanor sighed. "Anyway, I thought it over, and I was about to say, 'Lady, first of all, I'm not sure calling a phone sex line would count as cheating to a lawyer, anyway, and second of all, why can't you just use your phone bill to prove he'd been calling, and third, I don't want to get dragged into your family's shit,' but then she offered me a bribe."

"How much?"

"5,000 dollars."

"Holy God." Chidi let out a whistle, shaking his head. "So, that's how much a marriage is worth?"

Eleanor laughed. "Hey, in my defense, the marriage was obviously on the rocks long before I got involved. The guy was a total sleazebag, and, frankly, the wife didn't strike me as too bright. I mainly just felt bad for their poor daughter. I tried to keep her from hearing anything too graphic, just... you know, just enough that she knew what was going on. I don't know if the accusation of cheating even held up in court, I just did my job and got my money. It took care of rent for months, it was great."

Chidi hesitated, suddenly thinking over something she'd said. "Wait, this was eighteen years ago?"

"Yeah," she said.

"How old are you now?"

"I just turned thirty-six."

"So this happened when you were barely eighteen?"

"Mmhmm."

"...Why were you paying rent already when you were barely eighteen?"

"Oh," Eleanor said. "Yeah, I, uh. I was emancipated from my parents when I was fourteen. I lived on my own until I went to college, and then I got some roommates. I would've started working for the phone line earlier, since it paid way more than the job I had right before that did, but of course, that was the one place in Phoenix that actually bothered to check your ID."

Chidi was frowning, trying not to come off as condescending, but unable to hide his worry. "Why'd you get emancipated? I mean, if you don't mind talking about it."

Eleanor shrugged. "They didn't want to take care of me," she said. "Some people just shouldn't be parents, and they were two of them. So, as soon as I could, I drew up the paperwork myself, had them sign, and boom. They owed me nothing, and I owed them nothing. It worked for us."

What was most distressing was the fact that she didn't seem sad. Or angry, or even like she cared at all. Whether it was genuine, or just a front, he wasn't sure.

"Eleanor..."

She gave a crooked smile. "It's no big deal, Chidi," she insisted. "Everyone's got baggage."

"I guess so."

Suddenly, he felt like he understood Eleanor better than he ever had.

"...Do you ever wish you hadn't done it?" he asked.

"No way. Obviously, I didn't turn out great, but I was much better off without them," she said. "I mean, they didn't hate me or anything. They weren't abusive, if that's what you're thinking. They just... there were more important things to them than raising a kid, I guess."

"When you have a kid, they should be the most important thing in the world," Chidi said.

"I know. That's why I don't know if I'd ever become a mother," Eleanor admitted. "I don't think I'd be any good at it. Selfish people don't make good parents."

"...And neither do the overly panicky and obsessive," Chidi murmured, half to himself.

Eleanor nodded ruefully, blue eyes casting to the floor. Finally, she cleared her throat. "This got too real. Let's watch some trashy TV," she said forcing herself to sound chipper.

Chidi nodded, still too stunned by what Eleanor had revealed about her parents to argue.

"Now, promise me you'll at least try to keep up," Eleanor said, finding a Real Housewives of New Jersey marathon on some reality channel that Chidi never watched.

"I promise."

He'd fallen asleep by the time they were five episodes in.

At least he tried.

The rain stopped several hours later. Once the constant patter of raindrops hitting the window had ceased, Eleanor shut off the TV, sitting up slightly on the bed.

Chidi was still asleep in the chair, snoring lightly. He was leaning against the wall, his glasses knocked slightly askew.

He looked fucking ridiculous.

Smiling, Eleanor tiptoed over to him, and paused, briefly contemplating waking him up.

It was late. There was no sense in making him head back now. It was too dark out for him to walk alone, and a cab would've been pricey, probably. There was no point to waking him. Right?

With that in mind, Eleanor grabbed a spare blanket from the linen closet, and draped it over him. She gently took the glasses off his face, so he wouldn't break them, and set them down on her bedside table. Smiling slightly at the way he continued to sleep, dead to the world, Eleanor crawled back into her bed, shutting off the lamp.

"Goodnight, nerd," she whispered.

Chapter Text

Chidi woke up with a massive crick in his neck, which he probably should've seen coming. He opened his eyes, and everything was blurry.

"What the...?" he muttered to himself. He wasn't in his apartment, or even in his office, where he'd been known to doze off a few times while grading papers late into the night.

"Rise and shine, buttercup," a familiar, teasing voice next to him said. "Your glasses are right next to you."

Feeling for them -- ah, there they were -- he asked, "What time is it?"

"About nine," Eleanor said. When he put his glasses back on, she came into focus. She was no longer in her pajamas, and had thrown on a pretty blue tanktop and a pair of jeans. Her hair was still damp from the shower, pulled back into a ponytail. "My flight is at seven."

Oh. Right. Eleanor was flying home today.

He'd forgotten about that.

Shit.

"One more day, and then I'll stop stealing you away from the rest of your life," Eleanor said with a small laugh, clearly not noticing how little Chidi wanted to think about her leaving. "Your other friends will be thrilled."

"I... don't really have other friends," Chidi admitted. "Not close friends, anyway. Well, I mean, I have one, but he doesn't even live in Sydney anymore. He moved away after his wedding."

She gave him a catlike smile. "Aw, are you admitting we're close friends?"

He rolled his eyes, smiling in spite of himself. "Oh, hush," he said.

"So, teach, what's the lesson plan for my last day of school?" she asked.

Chidi stood, rolling out his shoulders. Sleeping in a chair all night did not do wonders for the muscles. "Final exam," he said. "Tell me what you've learned. Five sentences or less."

Eleanor thought it over for a moment. Chidi had to smile; he could see her counting sentences on her fingers as she mouthed them to herself.

Finally, she took a deep breath, and answered. "I've learned that the key to being a good person is empathy, and treating others the way you want to be treated. I've learned that not all philosophers are pretentious, boring shitheads, and that, for some reason, none of them were ever talking about jacking off. I've learned that in order to be good and keep being good, I need to do good deeds and surround myself by good people. I've learned that while it's impossible to have a set of rules that works 100% of the time, I need to hold myself to a higher standard than I have before, and push myself to actually meet it. And lastly, I've learned that no matter where you live, frozen yogurt will never be as good as ice cream."

He let out a chuckle. "Very good," he said. "Next question. What will you do when you get back to Phoenix?"

"Get a new roommate who isn't the human personification of herpes, find a new job that isn't a Ponzi scheme, and get back on that good person wagon." The best part was, she actually sounded like she was genuinely looking forward to those things.

"Good," Chidi said. The pride he felt was indescribable. "Last question -- how do you feel?"

Eleanor paused. Slowly, a smile crept across her face. "I feel... better. I may not be a candidate for sainthood now -- or ever -- but I actually feel like I've improved. Like maybe I can really make it stick this time."

Chidi grinned. "In that case... Eleanor Shellstrop, I declare you, a halfway decent person. You have officially graduated, with full marks."

"Whooo!" Eleanor raised her hands above her in a victory pose. "First time ever, I'm top of the class."

"You are the class."

"Don't ruin this for me!"

To celebrate Eleanor's graduation, Chidi had offered to take her out for brunch, on him, after a brief pitstop at his apartment so he could shower and change clothes. They'd wound up at a cute little cafe Chidi frequented, and were now waiting on their food. (Eleanor had ordered a martini with her brunch, because of course she did.)

"You know, I've been thinking," Eleanor said. "We've gotta get you some friends. Close friends, I mean."

"I know," he admitted. "But it's not like I can just order some. Friendships are best if they develop naturally."

"Or if they develop after one person flies across the world to learn ethics from the other one."

"Or that." He fidgeted with his glasses a bit. "The truth is... I'm just not good with people. Even ignoring the Kant business--"

"Ah, yes, the thou shalt not lie policy that you tooootally need to rework."

"Yes. That. Even ignoring that, I... I've never been any good at making friends. I just get so nervous about offending people or putting them off somehow that it's usually easier if I don't even try."

"Sounds like you need an extrovert to help you out," Eleanor said.

"Like you?"

"Exactly! Introverts like you need extroverts like me to drag you out of the house and introduce you to people."

Chidi smiled, saying, "Makes sense."

As he said it, he couldn't help but imagine a reality where Eleanor could do that. He could see them at parties, standing on the sidelines, whispering back and forth to each other, laughing over jokes only they understood. He could see them getting dinner together, or going to bars on the weekends. He could see Eleanor coming to his office to see him when he wasn't in a lecture, sitting down in the chair across from his desk and pestering him to stop worrying about work for a minute and come and have some fun with her.

He could see it, all too well, and it looked amazing.

But that wasn't going to be what happened. Because Eleanor was leaving.

And that's when it sunk in, really sunk in. It wasn't just that he was sad to see Eleanor go.

He wanted her to stay.

He wanted Eleanor to stay in Sydney. Permanently. To live there. To get a job there. To... to...

To be with him.

This was more than a crush. This wouldn't go away when she did.

FUCK.

"What's that look on your face?" Eleanor said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "You're staring off into space."

"It's... I'm..." He shook his head. "It's nothing."

Wow. A baldfaced lie. Forgive me, Kant, I have sinned.

"What do you want to do after we eat?" he asked, forcing his mind elsewhere. "You have nearly a full day left in Sydney, let's make the most of it."

Eleanor lit up. "Ooh! Let's go do all the touristy shit we can. Who knows when I'll get to come to Australia again? I wanna do it while I have the chance!"

He smiled. "That actually sounds... really fun," he admitted. "I've never done most of the tourist stuff. You never think to do it when you live here."

The waitress brought them their drinks. Eleanor lifted her martini, smiling from ear to ear. "To having the lamest, cheesiest, most touristy day we can."

Chidi lifted his coffee, and clinked his cup against her glass. "Cheers."

The day had gone by quickly, too quickly. They'd seen as many tourist attractions as they could manage, but soon, it had been time for Eleanor to get her bags, check out of the hotel, and head to the airport. Chidi drove her, and every moment that brought them closer to the airport seemed to pass by faster than the last.

Eleanor had checked her bags, and now they stood, mere feet away for the line for security check. Her plane would begin boarding in about thirty minutes, which meant they were cutting it close. Even so, Chidi and Eleanor stood there, looking at each other. Neither wanted to speak first.

Finally, Eleanor forced herself to break the silence.

"So..." she said quietly. She tore her slightly damp gaze away, swallowing a lump in her throat before speaking again. "So. You did it. You managed to take a complete trashbag and turn her into slightly less of a trashbag in five short days. More like four and a half, if we're being honest."

Chidi smiled in spite of the feeling of his heart slowly descending into the pit of his stomach. "Most of it was you," he said. "I just helped."

She let out a short laugh. "Don't get all cheesey on me right now, dude. Don't give me a 'it was with you all along' speech. It'd seriously deter my progress if I had to punch you right in the middle of this airport."

They laughed, but it petered out quickly.

Before he even realized what he was doing, Chidi had thrown his arms around her. Eleanor tensed, surprised, but returned the embrace. They stood there, hugging each other tightly. It was like a moment out of a movie.

Except if this were a movie, Chidi would've said something like, "Don't go. You and I belong together. Don't get on that plane, stay here with me. I know this is crazy, but we have something special. Letting you walk away would be a mistake. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go."

But this wasn't a movie. Chidi wasn't a romantic hero, and Eleanor wasn't his love interest.

This was the end of a confusing, aggravating, wonderful week. And Chidi and Eleanor were real people. With real lives to go back to.

It'd be wrong to ask her to stay here for me, anyway, Chidi thought.

So he said, "I'm... really glad I met you, Eleanor," murmuring it into her ear, not breaking their embrace.

"I'm really glad I met you, too," she whispered. "God, when I flew out here -- the whole time, I wondered if you'd think I was a crazy stalker or something."

"I did wonder," he admitted.

"I thought maybe I'd made a big mistake. But it turned out to be one of the better choices I've made in my life."

They pulled away slowly, still staring at each other. Eleanor's gaze flicked up and down Chidi's face. For a split second, he wondered if she'd kiss him.

She didn't.

Don't be stupid, he chided himself.

"I... You'll keep in touch, won't you?" Eleanor asked.

"Of course."

"Good. Good. I should--I should go. They'll start boarding and I need to go through security, and... and..."

He nodded, forcing out the words, "Yeah. Yeah. You should get going."

Eleanor slung her purse over her shoulder. "Thanks for everything, nerd."

Chidi chuckled. "Back at you."

Eleanor gave him one last, slightly-less-radiant-than-usual smile, before turning and getting into line.

She turned back one last time, and waved.

Chidi waved back. "Text me when you land!" he called.

"I will!" Eleanor yelled back.

And the line moved, and then she was gone.

Chapter Text

In the two weeks since Eleanor had gone home, Chidi had been stewing, rather obsessively, over the fact that he'd nearly asked her to stay. Logically, he knew he did the right thing not asking. They'd really only just met. He couldn't ask her to just uproot her whole life just because he liked her. (Okay, maybe more than liked her.)

But that didn't change the fact that he wished she hadn't left.

They'd texted semi-frequently since she landed back in Phoenix. She'd told him about getting a new job at a co-op, a new apartment, a new roommate... but it wasn't the same. He wanted them to be in the same place.

And, for the first time in his life, Chidi began seriously contemplating doing something crazy.

Before he knew it, he'd formulated a plan that was, objectively, the dumbest idea he'd ever had. And he was going to do it. It was the dumbest idea he'd ever had, and he was going to do it.

All for Eleanor Shellstrop.

One day, two flights spanning seventeen hours, and a terrible case of jet lag later, Chidi stood on the doorstep of an apartment in Phoenix, Arizona, and was trying to talk himself into knocking. He was here. No going back now. Whatever happened... happened. If he hadn't done this, he never would've forgiven himself. All he had to do now was knock on the door and talk to her.

And so, with a shaking hand, he rapped on the door.

A woman answered, but it wasn't Eleanor. She was a tall, redhaired woman, a bit younger than him. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"Uh..." He cleared his throat, trying to make his voice less squeaky. "Yeah, I'm looking for Eleanor Shellstrop?"

"You a friend of hers?"

"Yeah, yeah, tell her it's Chidi."

The redhead's eyes lit up with recognition. "Ohh, the professor! Yeah, she told me about you. I'll go grab her. One sec."

She disappeared into the apartment again, leaving Chidi to lapse back into his worries that he'd made a big mistake. Before he could think too much about it, however, the door opened once more, and Eleanor stepped outside. Her eyes were wide, like she'd seen a ghost.

"Chidi?" she said. Okay, she didn't sound too freaked out, just... shocked. That was good. He hoped. "Oh my G--what are you doing here?"

Chidi took a deep breath. In. Out. He could do this.

"I wanted to see you," he said. "I, um... is that the new roommate?"

She nodded. "Yeah, she's... she's nice. She works for a nonprofit and her old roommate moved out because he joined the Peace Corps. I figured, hey, if anyone can keep me on the straight and narrow, she can."

He smiled. "I'm glad to hear it," he said.

"How'd you even know where I live?" Eleanor asked.

"I meant to catch you at work," Chidi admitted. "But when I got to the co-op, they said your shift had ended already. Your coworker Danny told me where to find you."

She groaned. "Jesus. Thank God it was just you and not a serial killer," she said. "I don't mean to be cynical, but..."

"Yeah, you should... you should probably talk to him about that."

Then came the question he knew was coming.

"Chidi..." Eleanor said softly. "Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be in Australia?"

He licked his lips, tearing his gaze away from her for just a moment. Oh, God. He was going to sound like a stalker. He was a stalker. This was stupid, this was stupid, this was...

"Eleanor, when you left Sydney, I almost asked you to stay."

Her mouth dropped open, but she didn't say anything. He forced himself to continue.

"I like you, Eleanor. I like you a lot. As more than--more than just a friend-student-thing. I didn't want you to leave, and after you went back to Phoenix, I thought about you all the time. So I... I decided to take a chance. I told my boss there was a death in the family and I needed three weeks off so I could go back to Senegal, and then I came here."

She was smiling, now. "Chidi Anagonye, are you telling me that you lied?" she asked. "To your boss?"

"What can I say? You've had an impact on me." Chidi let out a small chuckle, before looking her in the eye again. "I know this was insane of me to do, but I... I just felt like this is where I need to be."

"In Phoenix?"

"No. With you."

Eleanor stared up at him, eyes shining, and for a moment, the world stood still for them.

And then, before he could even begin to form his next thought, Eleanor moved towards him, throwing her arms around his neck and planting the biggest, messiest kiss he'd ever received right on his mouth. He sunk into it, his arms wrapping around her waist. He stumbled slightly, surprised, when he felt Eleanor lift her feet off the ground. She wasn't that heavy, but he was still worried he'd drop her. But he didn't. He just held her.

Finally, they pulled away for air, Eleanor letting out a laugh of astonishment as she leaned her forehead against his. He didn't want to open his eyes, didn't want to move away. He didn't want this moment to end.

"I like you, too," she whispered. "If that wasn't enough to tip you off."

"I could use more convincing," he replied, leaning in to kiss her again.

They kept kissing, the minutes flying by faster than Chidi thought possible. It was amazing how time ceased to exist at moments like this.

At least, until the door opened once more and a voice from inside the apartment brought them out of their love-induced haze.

"Hey, Eleanor, I was about to order pizza, what do you--oh, wow."

They pulled away, both smiling with slight embarrassment, and turned to see Eleanor's roommate standing in the doorway, eyebrows raised.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked.

"Uh -- don't worry about it, we'll be in in a second," Eleanor said, her hand finding Chidi's.

"I take it we have a guest for dinner."

Eleanor glanced at Chidi, and the two grinned at each other. "I guess we do," Eleanor said, still not really looking at her roommate.

The other woman left once more, muttering something to herself about "trying to remove his tonsils with your tongue," leaving the two standing on the doorstep.

"Come on in," Eleanor said, pulling him towards the doorway. "I think... I think we have a lot to talk about. But first, dinner. You're probably starving."

They did have a lot to talk about. How would they spend the next three weeks? What would they do when Chidi's time in Phoenix ended? Would they try this long-distance, or would one of them move? How serious did they want this to be to start with? What would people say when they explained how they met?

And, a question that he could only think to himself. Was this the first chapter to the rest of his life?

Somehow, he thought so.

He could hardly wait.

Chidi smiled to himself, and followed Eleanor inside.