Chapter Text
maybe it's the stars
that keep drawing me
back to you,
the remnants of
constellations in our bones
longing to align the way
they were always meant to- jessica katoff
jihoon really didn't want to leave. he hates change, he likes everything to remain as it is. adapting just isn't his thing. and yet,
he's taping down the last of the boxes of his belongings. memories of the sixteen years he spent in seoul, picture frames of him with his friends, his story books and the stuffed toys he had on his bed looking up at him as he closed the flap of the cardboard box.
ill see you soon, american mail service better be fast. jihoon wonders how on earth he will sleep without the comfort of being surrounded by his bunny plushies. it'll probably take a month to arrive
jihoon groans and lies back onto the bed—his bed, but not for long. he won't be sleeping on it again. since his parents had decided to leave the heavy furniture for the couple that will be renting their apartment.
"then where will we stay when we come back?"
"it's too early to think about that now, jihoon, go finish packing up"
jihoon had not taken the news of their moving very well, he was annoyed that his parents hadn't had the decency to at least ask him for his thoughts before agreeing to take that stupid overseas job. "what about woojin? and jinyoung and daehwi and guanlin?" he had been choking back tears and he almost wanted to scream and it had made his throat sore, but he had sworn that he'd never cry in front of anyone, "what will i do without them?"
"you'll meet new people, and you can always keep in touch with them" was all he got, but he knew they'll eventually lose touch. time zones and responsibilities and growing up but that wasn't the point. at this time of his life he should be worrying over high school applications, clearing schedules for parties. not whether his only connections to his life in seoul will reach their damn american house in one piece.
he turns on his phone and checks the time, 8:56am. their flight's in a little more than 12 hours. and no way was jihoon going to spend those last few hours rotting in this room, he'd rather not have his stuffed toys for two months.
he scoops his kanken off the floor and puts on his headphones. turning up the volume and blocking out the sounds around him.
he wonders if leaving the home he grew up in is fate's plan for him. fate is a cruel thing.
jihoon doesn't believe in fate.
and he's out the door before anyone can stop him.
daniel wanted to get out of here. he didn't care about being a doctor, or a lawyer, or an engineer or anything that his parents labelled as a 'good job'. those things required a passion, and his passion lies in other things. he wanted to decide his own future, be in charge of his destiny.
but here he is shrugging on his suit jacket. it feels suffocating. he takes it off, folds it and puts it into his bag instead. if it creases so be it.
he has his dress shirt left on with a black tie and matching trousers. tailor made for the occasion. a university interview.
he checks his watch. the interview is scheduled for noon, so he has about three hours to kill. he could take the subway, it was only a couple stations away. or he could take a slow walk.
daniel chooses to walk, he doesn't know why. maybe it's because he saw the stars last night, bright and twinkling despite the city light pollution. he thought maybe it meant something, maybe he'll encounter something. it was a small, bright spark in the darkness.
he believes something will happen today. he wants to believe.
jihoon didn't have a particular destination in mind when he left, but his feet decided for him anyway.
he and his friends all worked part time in a small coffee shop, and jihoon had stopped working there three weeks ago, around the time he heard that he'll be leaving. he'd asked his friends that they won't see him off at the airport, because that would make leaving harder and also because they have school the next day. they agreed after much convincing and gave him a big hug each, promising to keep in touch. jihoon wonders how long it'll last.
but he wanted to see them again, one more time.
the way towards the coffee shop is all too familiar that jihoon would be able find his way blindfolded. its in the middle of a shopping district hence attracting both teenagers and tourists alike.
he doesn't know why he feels apprehensive, is it because this will be their actual last meeting? even though this was what he had been avoiding since the moment he told them not to see him off.
he wonders if something was driving him to come here, was it the universe? is that what poets mean when they write about fate and the inevitable?
he doubts it. the universe is something to be discovered. it's not going to help him discover anything.
it's much too late for that anyway.
***
jihoon is a few blocks away from the coffee shop before he stops outside a shop. oh he thinks, looking up at the sign above the cafe.
cafe de kitten
he remembers walking along this path a month back, with woojin, jinyoung, daehwi and guanlin. "guys guys! there's gonna be a cat cafe here! let's go together once it opens!' daehwi exclaimed, before jinyoung smacked him (gently) on his back laughing, "then we'll be unloyal to the cafe we work at" daehwi had responded with his puppy eyes and jihoon knew the battle was lost because if anyone in their clique was weak for daehwi, it was jinyoung. "okay, okay, we'll come back when it opens" jinyoung had relented, eyes drifting to the floor and jihoon could see a dusting of pink on his cheeks. daehwi cheered as they continued waking toward their workplace, leaving behind a very flustered jinyoung who woojin had started to tease. those two made jihoon think maybe true love did exist. maybe.
his mind drifts back to the present and he notices a familiar figure arranging some decorations on a shelf. he pushes the door open before his mind could process what he was doing and it was too late to turn back because the figure had turned at the sound of the door opening, "sorry, we're not-jihoon!" donghan exclaimed. jihoon, cursing his impulses, gave him a small wave. they haven't seen each other for over a year, after donghan had moved to a different dance studio. jihoon takes his headphones off and hangs them around his neck. "hey donghan, how have you been? and since when did you like cats?" although he knew the answer the moment the words left his mouth.
"yongguk?"
"yongguk."
they burst out laughing as yongguk peeked out from the room at the back, "i heard my name, oh jihoon!" he waves his feather duster at him, "since you're here, would you like to pet the cats? there's still time before we open." he gestures to the room behind him, and jihoon could hear a faint chorus of meows escaping. jihoon made his way to the back, it wasn't as if he had much of a plan of what to do with the rest of the day. the back room was littered with balls of yarn and toy mice. half a dozen cat beds lined the walls and there was a litter box at the far corner of the room. "looks cosy" jihoon noted. yongguk smiles as he picks up one of the cats, a fluffy ragdoll with pretty blue eyes. "thank you, keeping them in cages is just sad" jihoon can't help but empathise.
a shorthair rubs against jihoon's leg and he crouches down to stroke it, "i walked past here about a month ago with daehwi and the others, they seemed really excited for your opening. im stopping by later and ill let them know that you guys are the ones working here, they'll probably ditch their shifts and run over" he can't help the hint of sadness that laced the edge of his voice. they had planned to come together, after all.
donghan, always the observant one, noticed and asked, "wait, don't you all work the same shift? and you're talking as if you won't come back here together." his eyes narrowed, "what are you not telling us?"
jihoon sighed, no point in lying. "i'm moving to america. tonight. for who knows how long." he's met with silence for a few seconds and he peeks up at them through his bangs before donghan bends down and envelops him into a hug. yongguk joins in a moment later and jihoon finds himself squished between them.
they stay like that for a few moments but to jihoon it felt like time had stopped and sped up and its making no sense and its conflicting, because his heart was clenching up and his throat was aching again.
the hug breaks and jihoon stands up, trying to conceal his face with the sleeve of his sweater. god he hates crying in front of others. with the best light tone he could muster, "ahaha.. i'll see you guys later, hopefully. good luck with the cafe." he adds before he dashes out the back room and toward the entrance. someone was in the cafe as well, some guy with quite a large build, despite it not being open yet. they were holding something, but jihoon didn't bother turning back to see what it was. he was out the door again, yongguk and donghan's voices trailed behind. no one was stopping him.
daniel could feel the weird looks people were giving him. he guesses he could see why.
a pre university walking around in a dress shirt, tie and polished shoes—with or without his suit jacket he's standing out as he walks through the shopping district.
another possible reason for all the stares is likely because daniel was observing everyone he passed, well he hoped he wasn't being obvious. but he believes that today holds more events than just an interview, and daniel did not want to miss any chances.
he'd been walking for a good fifteen minutes, and nothing was particularly outstanding. most of everyone was a tourist with their attention on the clothes on display and the little plastic food models in cafe windows. daniel takes off his bag and wears it in front of him to search for his phone for something to do when he spots something out of his peripheral vision. he wears his bagpack properly and sees a small calico cat along the pavement. odd he thinks, the cat was wearing a pink collar so it definitely belonged to someone. but this was a shopping district and the closest neighbourhood was his.
daniel inches towards the small cat, slowly so as not to frighten it. it had white fur near its tummy and black and brown spots on its back. when the cat turned to face him and tense, daniel could see that one of its eyes were a sky blue and the other a bright green. and in between was an adorable pink heart shaped nose. daniel was an arms length away and he scooped it up, he was going to get cat fur on his dress shirt. but daniel couldn't care less. the cat squirmed for a moment but daniel stroked its back, calming it down. he had cats of his own, after all. its definitely domesticated he thinks. he looks around for a place where the fluffy animal could have come from. he spots a sign a few stores down, cafe de kitten. seems about right. he wonders how the cat was able to escape, and that the owner should know to keep their front door closed.
daniel reaches the cafe and steps inside, there were low tables and some cat playgrounds scattered around the room. no sign of the owners though. he notices a door at the back, and there were faint voices coming from inside. he was about to head toward the room when a figure speeds out of it and daniel almost drops the cat in surprise. he couldn't see their face, but he knew it was a boy. smaller than him and wearing a baby pink sweater, and he was out the door in a matter of seconds.
"ahh, he ran away," daniel hears behind him. he turns and sees two boys emerge from the room. they notice daniel and he holds the calico cat out to them, "here, your cat kinda got out while you were..." he trails off.
"oh! i must've forgotten to close the door, sorry about that and thank you," the taller one of them steps forward and takes the cat from his arms. but daniel couldn't stop thinking of the boy who ran past him half a minute ago. he seemed like he was crying, and he was sure the two boys would know the reason why. he's tempted to ask but would make him seem like a busybody and a stalker. so he smiles at them, bows and leaves the cafe instead.
when daniel's outside, he glances left and right.
where did you go?