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“Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, ‘weak’ is not what you’re going to remember about me.”
- Al Capone
Sarutobi Hiruzen knew that he was human. He could acknowledge that he had made mistakes in his life, even amidst his victories. He knew that he had failed countless times. In a life as long as his was turning out to be, Hiruzen was honestly surprised that he didn’t have even more regrets than he did currently.
But watching Kakashi wolf down reheated eggplant and beef, shadows under his eyes and an arm still wrapped tightly around his stomach, Hiruzen couldn’t think of a more complete failure... or a more devastating one.
What had Danzo done?
Walking into his bedroom, Hiruzen had been ready to hit the mattress with prejudice. He had been up since four in the morning and had spent the day dealing with the Council and trying to placate half a dozen Clan Heads.
And ANBU testing was coming up. Hiruzen struggled not to groan aloud at the sheer volume of paperwork that was going to generate.
He flicked the light on half a second before he realized that there was someone in the room. He had a kunai in each hand and was about to speak his alarm phrase when he realized just who it was.
Hatake Kakashi. The boy -- who had been missing for almost four weeks now -- was sitting on his bedroom floor. He looked thinner than when Sarutobi had seen him last, and there was something haunted in his open eye. He had his arms wrapped around his stomach, and the set of his shoulders suggested that he wanted to curl in on himself.
“Kakashi-kun, what happened to you? Where have you been, you’ve been missing for weeks!” Hiruzen spoke, mind racing ahead even as he put away his kunai.
Kakashi took a breath, as though he was about to speak. Then it seemed to catch, the tension seeming to coil through his frame. The look in his eye grew more desperate, panicked.
Hiruzen crossed the room and knelt before him, setting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m here, I’m here. Whatever happened, I am here and you are not alone.” At the very least, he could soothe Kakashi’s anxiety enough for the teen to tell him what, by the Sage and all the little spirits, had happened.
He was not expecting Kakashi to lean forward and curl in around Hiruzen’s supporting hand, as if it was that simple gesture that had finally broken the hold he had on his emotions, silent tears streaming down his face as he tried to blurt out his answer. The boy began shaking in frustration when it came out completely incoherent.
Hiruzen’s worry increased alarmingly. He hadn’t seen Kakashi weep since Minato’s death, and even then just barely and only from his transplanted eye. The only way the boy would allow himself to grieve his dead sensei were the tears flowing out from his dead friend’s dying gift.
Hiruzen had imagined any number of horrible situations that might have prevented the boy from coming home: sickness, exposure, capture, torture, death . He now knew that, whatever had happened, it must have been far worse than Hiruzen had ever imagined for Kakashi to react in such a way.
Kakashi quickly straightened up, wiping the tears from his face, one arm still wrapped around his stomach. Hiruzen’s brows furrowed. That had never been one of Kakashi’s nervous ticks before. The boy took a deep breath before speaking in the quiet, clinical voice Hiruzen associated with difficult mission reports.
“Danzo found out I’m an Omega. He wanted to breed a new line of Uchiha under his control and he used Obito’s DNA and I can’t lose this and he can’t keep it.” It all spilled out of Kakashi in a flood before he stopped, trying to catch his breath.
Hiruzen felt his stomach drop, and his heart filled with ice. Danzo couldn’t have… he wouldn’t have crossed a line like that, would not have attacked a shinobi of Konoha like this. Danzo had been off these past few years, but he still had some principles.
At least, that’s what Hiruzen had thought.
Looking at the bone-deep terror Kakashi was trying to hide, he knew that the teen wasn’t lying. He knew it would be just as futile to offer certain… discrete medical services now--Kakashi’s respect and guilt towards his loved ones was well known among those who had clearance. Besides, the look in the boy’s eyes when he had said ‘I can’t lose this’ was fierce. Whatever Kakashi ultimately decided, Hiruzen would not offer unless Kakashi asked for it.
And, though it made him feel ashamed, Hiruzen could not deny that any child of Kakashi’s would be a strong addition to Konoha.
He shoved that all away. This wasn’t the time.
Priorities were already being sorted in his head.
“Is there anyone you explicitly trust who could be given clearance?” Hiruzen asked as Kakashi finished scraping the plate clean.
“Maito Gai,” Kakashi replied automatically. He blinked, a stunned expression crossing his face. Hiruzen wondered if he had known how much he trusted Gai before being asked.
“He will be an excellent guard.” Hiruzen held up a hand to stall Kakashi’s protests. “Danzo is not powerless. If you are in a position where you cannot fight, you will need a friend with you.”
Kakashi hesitated, then gave a brief nod. Hiruzen realized that he was half-slumped in the chair. “All other things can wait. Now you will rest, and I will stand guard.”
Kakashi began to protest and Hiruzen cut him off again. “This is the least I can do. Please, Kakashi-kun. Let me do this at least.”
The silver-haired teen hesitated, then finally nodded in acceptance. Hiruzen shepherded the boy towards the sofa in his sitting room. “Sleep. You’ll need it.”
Kakashi practically staggered towards the sofa. Hiruzen pulled out a blanket and tucked it around the young jounin as he blinked sleepily. “Things will be better in the morning.”
Hiruzen’s heart ached as Kakashi gave a skeptical snort before falling asleep. He couldn’t blame him. Konoha had failed Kakashi, and badly, multiple times over his short life. It was amazing that Kakashi still trusted him at all.
As he settled to sit on the chair next to the sofa, the Hokage realized that his knees ached and his hands were stiff. He could feel the weight of responsibility weighing on his shoulders, dragging them down. He ached to smoke his pipe, but Biwako had made him promise he wouldn’t smoke in their home, and he hadn’t been able to break his word, even after his wife had passed. It was at least one promise that he had not yet broken.
He sighed. By all the Little Gods in their Little Shrines, how could this have happened? How could he have missed the depths that Danzo had fallen, how infected ROOT had become? No matter how much trust Tobirama-sama had encouraged between their genin team, their sensei had to be rolling in his grave at how blind he had been.
He was too old for this. By all rights he should not have been in charge anymore. But Minato was dead, Kakashi was far too young, and Danzo...
Hiruzen looked over at Kakashi. He was curled up, his back against the couch, facing outwards. One hand rested over a hidden kunai, the other wrapped possessively around his midsection. Even in sleep there was a faint line of worry between his eyebrows.
He had all the proof he needed that Danzo was unfit to lead Konoha.
Danzo, he thought to himself as he settled back, chakra extended and listening for any suspicious activity. Once we were friends. I trusted you with my life, that we would stand together until the end. Even seeing what you had become, I had turned a blind eye, hoping that one day we could stand together once more.
I now know that this is a false hope. I will not trust you, and for the sake of Konoha…
...I will end you.