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This was, quite understandably, not how Sophie thought her evening would go when Alistair proposed to her earlier that day. Granted, they were both nearly nude and locked in a jail cell when he decided to ask, but the lackluster setting hadn’t tempered their joy any. There had still been crying, laughing, and enthusiastic kissing until Zevran and Leliana finally found them. Even the rather morbid turn of events at the Landsmeet and her poorly thought out declaration that Alistair would rule Ferelden with her at his side could dim her delight. No, with all the excitement and romance in the air, she was fully anticipating a night full of incredible we-might-die-tomorrow sex and maybe a nice cuddle in the bathtub later. What she got instead was one hell of an argument.
“Why are you so stubborn?”
“How can you seriously be considering this? It’s Morrigan, she’s probably lying anyway.”
“I’m considering it because Morrigan is my friend, and she wouldn’t suggest this if she didn’t think it would work.”
“She’s a selfish witch, Sophie. We’re all just pawns in her game.”
“What would she have to gain from sleeping with you?”
“Oh I don’t know, maybe the heir to the Ferelden throne?”
“You didn’t even want the throne twenty-four hours ago! Now you’re worried that Morrigan will take it from you?”
“Yes, because whether I want to be king or not, I still care about the future of Ferelden.”
“More than you care about me?”
She could see the twitch in his jaw as he clenched his teeth. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re willing to let me die just so you don’t have to sleep with Morrigan? My love doesn’t outweigh your hatred for her?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll land the final blow on the Archdemon.”
“And leave me a widow? You think I want that?”
“No, I think Morrigan has spun her stupid tale into your head, and you’re acting without thinking like you always do.”
“We don’t have time to think this through! All you have to do is sleep with Morrigan, and then we can live happily ever after. That seems like a perfectly good idea to me, no second thoughts necessary.”
“And what about what I want? Do I not get a say in this?”
“You’d let your stubborn pride kill one of us?”
“Why is it so hard for you to understand that I would give my life for you? Whether we live or die, I never want you to wonder if I enjoyed sleeping with Morrigan. I never want you to doubt my love for you.”
Sophie took a slow step forward, cupping Alistair’s face in her hands when he didn’t move away at her advance. “Alistair, you’ve clearly gone mad if you think that I would ever suspect that you enjoy Morrigan’s company over mine. Not only do you hate her, but my tits are totally bigger than hers.”
Alistair let out a watery laugh as he nuzzled her palm. “I guess you’re right.”
“So is that what this is? You don’t think I’ll love you as much if I know that you’ve slept with her?” Her words were softer now, warm and sweet like the kisses they often shared by the camp’s bonfire.
“I’ll be tarnished. How could you want me after that? I’d rather die knowing that you love me than live forever without you.”
“You silly man. I could never stop loving you, even if I tried. Tell me, if our roles were reversed, would you think the same about me? Would I be damaged and better off dead?”
The childish pout that took over his face seemed to put an official end to the argument. “No, but you’d probably enjoy sleeping with her, you insane nymphomaniac.”
“But you’d still love me just the same, and so will I. Just think of me the whole time, yeah? I’d love to hear her complain to me later that you screamed my name in bed.”
“You are enjoying this far too much.” He finally pulled out of her embrace and began pulling on his boots.
“Better yet, imagine me and Morrigan together. That’d be hot.”
“You are a menace.” He placed a warm hand on the back of her head as he kissed the bridge of her nose. “Be good while I’m gone. You owe me one hell of a massage when this is over.”
She followed him to the door and watched him walk down the hallway before yelling, “Remember not to piss her off or else you may have literal blue balls.”
“Please do feel free to kiss my ass, Mrs. Theirin,” he called back over his shoulder. He paused right before knocking on Morrigan’s door, turning to give her a wink and blow her a kiss.
Sophie laughed, waving him away. She went back into her room, sat down with her mabari by the fire, and fell asleep with a smile on her face and the words Mrs. Theirin dancing in her head.