Work Text:
Felicity couldn't sleep.
She was laying on her back in the middle of her and Oliver's bed, trying to fall asleep, but failing miserably. She remained vigilant, the adrenalin from the night still flowing in her system, not giving her the relaxation she desperatly needed. She couldn't seem to find a comfortable position so she kept turning side to side. She was hot, and sticky, and in need of a shower, but even with the adrenalin she didn't have the strength for that. It only made her restless but not giving her enough energy to do anything.
Oliver had just texted he'd left from the city hall after the press conference, after practically telling everyone they were screwed. She was disappointed in herself, still wondering if she could do more to help the situation, help him. She knew how hard he took it on a personal level. She had watched the broadcast, and it was not good. He thought he had failed the city when she knew it was far from the truth. If only Oliver did too.
The throbbing pain on her arm where Rene had shot her annoyed her beyond anything else, or rather where his bullet hit her after she jumped in front of it. It sounded more heroic than it actually was, and she was sure Oliver was going to be pissed. For her defence, though, Rene shouldn't have been shooting at all so the blame wasn't entirely on her.
Deciding the sleep wasn't going to come, she tossed the thick, heavy and oh, so hot covers aside before getting up and padding to the living room. Oliver should be home soon.
Felicity went to sneak a peek of William who was, thankfully, still asleep in his own bed. They were going to have to tell him something, she could already sense the awkwardness of that conversation. If Oliver got to deside, they would keep the kid out of this entirely, but she knew from experience that it wouldn't bring them anything good. Certainly not for Oliver. She closed the door with a soft thud, just as she heard the front door open. She prepared herself for the worst, and walked to the hallway to greet Oliver.
He was putting away his suit jacket when he noticed her approaching and pulled her in his arms when she reached him. She felt him place a kiss on the top of her head and she pressed her lips to his throat just above the collar of his dress shirt.
"Hi", she said softly.
"Hey"
"I'm glad you're home", she told him before raising on her tiptoes and kissing him properly, to which he responded willingly, lips lingering on hers a little longer than usual.
"Me too", he responded against her lips, sounding even more tired than he looked, "What are you still doing up?"
"Couldn't sleep", she shrugged. Oliver frowned before gently brushing his fingers over the white bandage on her arm.
"Are you okay? Does your arm hurt?"
"No"
Oliver raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, a little I guess", she muttered, looking down at it, "But we've had worse"
"Doesn't mean it's not allowed to hurt now", Oliver stated before giving her one last kiss and walking past her to the bedroom, probably too tired to even think about eating anything. Felicity followed.
"How did it go?", she asked hesitantly when he sat down on the now crumbled bed, taking off his shoes.
His gaze remained on the floor as he shook his head, a pained expression on his face.
"Hey, no", she stepped forward, "there is nothing more you could've done, Oliver"
"I know, I just...", he looked up at her, "I just wish things weren't like they are. I mean, maybe if I could've helped Rene with his daughter's case earlier, we wouldn't be-"
"No, Oliver, you-"
"Maybe we wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe we would've beaten Cayden James, or gotten the money from Black Siren, or you wouldn't have gotten hurt", he sighed.
Was that his main concern here? Her? What about the whole city? Oh, this stupid, stupid man. Felicity blinked down at him, before starting to loosen his tie around his neck.
"You can't think like that, Oliver. What's done is done, and there's nothing we could do to change that", she spoke softly, "and this is not your fault. Rene was planning on betraying us, and we did what was necessary"
Oliver raised his head to look up at her, his eyes focusing on hers before moving onto the bandage around her arm.
"What you did tonight was incredibly stupid, by the way", he noted. Felicity rolled her eyes at him. Of course he had to mention that.
"Rene was shooting at Quentin and Thea too, I had to do something to stop him", she reasoned, removing the tie and tossing it on the floor.
"And I love you for it but it was still stupid"
They prepared for bed together in silence. Felicity settled on the bed on her side, already in her pajamas, and watched as Oliver undressed. She would never get tired of that view. She didn't think Oliver minded either. Soon he was only in his boxers, as he slipped under the covers with her. He turned on his side too, facing her.
"You think he was right, though?", he asked.
"About what?"
"About what he said about William"
Felicity stilled at that. Of course he would remeber that part, he was already so insecure about the subject. How dare Rene say something like that to him when he was a father himself, she pondered.
"I think he said that only to provoke you", she sighed.
"You think so?", he muttered, sounding so unsure she felt a sudden burst of anger towards Rene.
"Yeah, I do", she assured, "He bugged you, Oliver. And besides, William adores you"
Oliver nodded.
"I'm sorry you got hurt because of me", he whispered barely audible, voice breaking. Felicity's heart clenched. This man really blamed everything on himself. She reached out to wrap her fingers around his, and brought their joined hands to her lips. His eyes followed the movement and his breath faltered even so slightly. She waited until his eyes met hers before talking.
"Why would something Rene did be your fault, Oliver?", she asked softly, genuinely curious. She wanted to hear his reasoning for once, she wanted to hear what made this amazing man think so less of himself. Oliver continued to gaze at her so lovingly, so softly she felt her heart melt even more.
"Because it's my job to protect you", he said quietly, "and I didn't"
Felicity swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat.
"You had things to do, and you don't have to go all Green Arrow on me. You can't be there for me every second", she managed to say, voice wavering. Oliver shook his head.
"Not just as the Green Arrow. As a man. As a husband, Felicity. You're the love of my life"
She felt tears burning in her eyes but she tried to swallow them down. Damn this man, he really knew his way around words. Her heart filled with the strenght of her love for him all over again, but also with sadness for him.
"I don't want you to feel obligated to save me, Oliver", she reassured, "I can take care of myself"
"It's not like that", he insisted, moving his hand up, fondling her arm and shoulder in a tender motion, "I want to take care of you, I need-", he swallowed, "I need to do it for me, for my piece of mind. It's not obligation, Felicity, I-"
He suddenly cut himself off, as if he was going to slip something he shouldn't. Felicity quickly wiped her eyes with her palms and focused on him, now slightly suspicious.
"You what?", she pushed. Oliver looked down at their joined hands. Felicity gave him a squeeze, which he answered, "Look at me, Oliver"
"I made a promise to myself", he confessed, "After our accident, what happened to you, I-", he suttered and swallowed thickly, voice wavering with emotion before his face crumbled, "I promised to myself that if you made it, even when we weren't together, I would protect you with all I got"
Felicity breathed deeply to get some control over her own emotions and placed her unoccupied hand to the side of his face, stroking his stubble as much for his comfort as for hers. He never talked about that time with her, so it meant the world for both of them for him to get this out.
"Oliver", she whispered, not trusting her voice to work. He locker his eyes to hers once again, before giving her a sad smile. A tear escaped from his eye, which she was quick to brush away with her thumb, leaving a wet trail on his cheek.
"I still do", he continued, "I promise you, Felicity, I will protect you, until my very last breath leaves my body, I promise. No one's going to hurt you ever again", he finished a little urgently, his eyes pleading her to believe him.
"You can't make that kind of promise", Felicity shook her head, overwhelmed with his love for her.
"I can promise you that I will do everything in my power to prevent that from happening"
"I don't want you to go dying on me, Oliver!", she cried.
"And I don't wanna die", Oliver finished her, smiling at her heartbreakingly, "But I will if that means you get to live"
Felicity stared at him, breathing heavily, not quite knowing what to say. Her heart was so filled with love at that moment she thought it might burst. She knew this, this wasn't new information. She'd known this for a long time, actually, but hearing him say it was just so different. She stared at him, he equally at her, until she moved closer to him. Oliver met her halfway, wrapping his arms around her smaller frame, shielding her. She buried her face to the crook of his neck, letting her tears drop. She felt him shiver before pulling her impossibly even closer and settling them under the covers more comfortably.
She pressed her lips on his skin, setting a few small kisses there before snuggling on him.
"I love you, Oliver"
Oliver kissed the top of her head.
"I love you too, Felicity"
"Just for the record", she muttered on his skin, "it's just a stupid little flesh wound, almost self-implied so you should be more mad at me"
"Well, Rene was shooting at Thea, too. I have the right to be mad"
"You just want to be mad at him"
"Maybe"
"Well", she yawned, "I can name ten other reasons"
She felt him sigh.
"We make quite a team, huh", she whispered, already half asleep.
"They're not a part of it, anymore", he reminded her, "It's just us and Diggle"
"Original team Arrow"
"We still don't call ourselves that"