Chapter Text
Moon Jongup was spoiled. Spoiled rotten in every single way. There was hardly ever a time where he didn’t get his way or anything else he wanted (which wasn’t much to be honest). And he hardly ever had to lift a finger to do work of any kind inside or outside the house.
Every day when he came home from school, the house was clean, food was made, and basically everything that needed to be done was done. Everything, including bills and all other household expenses.
Kim Himchan, his boyfriend of three years, always doted on him and showered him with love, affection, and at times very lavish gifts. It was sweet to be taken care of like that. But to be honest, Jongup hated it.
Well maybe not HATE. It’s just that sometimes it made him feel a bit like less than an equal part in their relationship (more like a child). And it didn’t help that there was a considerable age gap (5 years) between the two of them (Something he tried his best to keep from his peers when they questioned his nice clothes or the brand new car that he drove).
He felt useless and inadequate. He wondered if he really had anything substantial to bring to the table in this relationship other than sex (he wasn’t even sure if he was good at that either).
Jongup thought about bringing up his concerns to his boyfriend many times but he was scared of one of two things happening. 1. He’d find out he was right and that Himchan wanted to find someone better, or 2. He’d hurt his feelings and have him thinking he didn’t appreciate all he did for him.
All he wanted was to prove himself worthy of being with the amazing man he loved. But how? What could he do? His mind pondered over his situation instead of focusing on the history book he was blankly staring into.
He was snapped out of his thoughts when “Fantastic Baby” started playing loudly from his cellphone that was supposed to be off. He scrambled over to the table his belongings were at and managed to knock over a whole cart of books in the process. He grabbed his phone from his jacket pocket and ran to the nearest bathroom as plenty of “SHHHH’S” from patrons and an evil look from a librarian were being thrown at him.
By the time he got inside he had missed the call. But he saw who it was from, it was Bang Yongguk. He was Himchan’s co-worker/best friend. He’s never called him before so he was super curious as to what this was about.
He called him back and waited as it rung. It only took two rings before he heard a deep voice on the other end.
“Jongup?”
“Hey, Yongguk hyung. What’s up?”
“Hey kid, I need to tell you something but I need you to stay calm okay?” He told him.
“Um, okay hyung. What is it?” The seriousness in the other’s voice was starting to scare Jongup.
“There’s been a small accident and Himchan is in the hospital, and…….”
“WHAT??!! Oh my God, what happened to him?!” Jongup’s heart started racing.
“Jongup, calm down please….”
“WHERE IS HE??” The teen was in full blown panic mode now.
“You know where Asan Medical Ce…….”
*CLICK*
He hung up the phone before Yongguk could even finish. He grabbed his stuff and raced to his car. He raced to the hospital as fast as he could without breaking the speed limit (getting pulled over wouldn’t do him any good).
His brain didn’t register anything Yongguk had said other than ACCIDENT and HIMCHAN. His mind was thinking the worst outcomes the whole way there.
After managing to get there in one piece and calming himself down enough to hear the whole story of what happened from Yongguk, he found himself nervously waiting on the couch in the waiting room, waiting for Himchan to get out of surgery.
SURGERY; that word sounded scary as hell to him. Yes it was just on his hand, but still that did nothing to calm the boy’s nerves. He’s watched enough Grey’s Anatomy and House to know all the things that can go wrong during surgery (even for a minor one).
Not too long later, he found himself in the waiting room pacing back and forth as he waited for an update on Himchan’s condition. His heart was still racing and he was shaking all over. Maybe he was being paranoid but he couldn’t help it. Himchan was everything to him, and if something happened to him Jongup would be in same place he was before they met……………..alone.
“Will you cut that out? That’s getting real annoying.” Yongguk said to him bitterly.
Jongup stopped and looked at him for a moment, “Excuse me?”
“Look, just sit down and stay calm okay?” The older replied in a not so bitter tone. Yet, without a hint of compassion in his voice.
Jongup’s first thought was to say FUCK YOU, but in the waiting room of the hospital where his boyfriend was having surgery wasn’t the best place for it. He sat down and nervously fidgeted with the hem of his shirt as he waited.
Yongguk never did approve of Himchan’s relationship with Jongup. He thought the boy was way too young, and because of his age he suspected him of being a gold-digger. Thankfully, that never deterred the man and he chose to follow his heart instead of heeding his best friend’s warning. But still, it always made Jongup uneasy being around Yongguk. And it seemed like no matter what he did, the guy wouldn’t give him a chance.
Jongup kept looking at his watch. Every minute felt like an hour and he was going crazy. Even after the doctor finally came out to tell them the surgery was a success, it didn’t help calm him at all.
“Can I see him?” He asked Himchan’s doctor, praying that Yongguk wouldn’t insist on going in first.
“Well…..” she hesitated for a second as she wrote something on a clipboard, “okay, as long as you stay quiet and don’t disturb him.”
“Oh no, I won’t! I promise!” She nodded at him before walking away.
Before he could take on step towards the Himchan’s room, Yongguk called out to him, “Hey kid.”
He hated being called that, especially by Yongguk, “Yes hyung?”
Yongguk looked down to check something on his phone as Jongup gritted his teeth and impatiently waited for him to finish, “I have to get back to work to finish some things up for Channie, I’ll be back later.”
“Okay.” He said a bit too nonchalantly. Yongguk frowned at the undertone of an attitude he sensed in his reply but said nothing. He turned and left.
FINALLY!!! Jongup thought to himself. He took a deep breath as he took the short walk to Himchan’s room and stepped inside.
What he saw made his heart stop. He wished someone had warned him. His boyfriend had a cast on his right hand and there was some weird beeping machine next to him that was freaking him out.
He grabbed the nearest chair and quietly pulled it next to his injured lover to sit down. He felt so helpless seeing him like that. Seeing someone that’s always so lively and strong look so small and weak. And not just any “Someone”, HIS “Someone”.
He couldn’t help but wonder what the hell he was gonna do. He knew Himchan would have to depend on him for practically everything now, and he wasn’t sure he could handle it. He was scared. He wished he had someone to turn to for comfort, but his only person was the same one he had to care for.
But Jongup knew he somehow had to suck it up. He couldn’t be weak around Himchan. The older worried enough about him as it was, he certainly didn’t want him doing that when he had to concentrate on getting better.
He looked at the cast on his boyfriend’s hand; it looked so uncomfortable. Was he in any pain? He couldn’t stand thinking about his love in pain. Tears starting stinging his eyes and he stood to walk over to the window. Looking at Himchan like that was tearing him up inside.
He closed his eyes and hit his head against the window a couple times as he sniffled.
Yongguk is right, I am a kid. A stupid, weak kid. Why can’t I be more of a man? That’s what Channie needs, a man that can take care of him.
He badly wanted to run home and curl up and cry at that moment. But he knew he wouldn’t, it would be wrong to leave Himchan alone. So instead he opted to go for a cup of coffee in the cafeteria, and some fresh air.
After the short break he came back to Himchan's hospital room, sat down, and helplessly watched over his boyfriend as he waited for Yongguk to return.