Chapter Text
It was just another day for the 104th Training Corps. Mornings always started with chores. Today, it was Floch's turn to sweep the floors of the men's barracks.
Floch slowly worked his way from bunk to bunk. He methodically swept his broom across the floor, letting all of dust and dirt accumulate in a pile towards the center of the room. He made sure to get under every bed. Shaddis would never let him hear the end of it if he missed a spot. If Floch was being honest, he thought it was rather annoying that so much importance was put on such a basic task.
Whatever.
Sweeping wasn't hard. He would be done soon... no need to get frustrated.
The space under Connie's bunk was always the worst. Crumbs and other unidentifiable dirt had a way of turning up under and around his bed, somehow. Food wasn't allowed in the barracks, so Floch had no idea how Connie managed it. Well, he did... but he really didn't care about Connie's habit of bending the rules for midnight snacks.
One of the last bunks he came to was Armin's. The little guy usually kept his bunk really clean, and there was rarely any dirt accumulation in his space. Floch had to check anyway, just in case. He swept under Armin's bed, relieved that he had been correct in his assumption that there would be little for him to do here.
Finishing up, Floch straightened his back and stood up straight. In that moment, there was something about Armin's bed that caught his eye. There was something sticking out from under the mattress... A book?
Floch sighed as he looked at the book, having some strong suspicions about the nature of its contents.
Great... Porn.
This was a semi-regular occurrence. This kind of material was strictly forbidden in the military barracks. Despite that... this was a space lived in by dozens of adolescent boys, going through various stages of puberty. A ban on pornographic material was kind of a lost cause.
Looking down at the book poking out from under Armin's mattress, Floch's curiosity got the better of him. Armin was kind of a weird guy... and Floch wondered what kind of freaky stuff he was into. He knew he should leave it alone – be a good friend and just push the book back under the mattress where it would go undetected. Against his better judgement, Floch pulled the book out from its hiding place, and looked at the cover.
'The Research of Dr. Kemorsky'
Floch did not expect this to be an actual book under Armin's mattress. He felt a strange mixture of disappointment and relief wash over him. He considered slipping the book back into its hiding place... but hesitated for a moment, staring at the cover. What was in this book that warranted hiding it under a mattress like it was something forbidden? It looked innocent enough.
Floch opened the book, and flipped to a random page. He was not prepared for what he found.
"My Research on the Factors that Influence Human Butt Quality"
WUH???