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Looking down at his wrist, Jeremy knew this was the moment he’d been waiting for since he was born. The moment he’d find out who his soulmate is. His wrist had been itching all class so as soon as the bell rang, Jeremy rushed into the bathroom and pulled up his sleeve. When he did, he noticed tiny bits of words appearing right onto his skin.
He had been so prepared for this to happen before, but now he felt so unready. This person could be anyone. Jeremy had always hoped it be Christine, but what are the chances of that? Glancing back at his wrist, even though he couldn’t tell whose name it was yet, he could see it definitely wasn’t Christine’s. This name started with an M. Monika? Michelle? He didn’t know.
Jeremy had been so excited to find out who his soulmate was ever since he turned 15. There were a few exceptions, but the average ages for when people got their ‘soulmarks’ were between 15 and 18. However, now that it was happening, Jeremy couldn’t be dreading it more. What if he knew this person and it was someone he never liked? What if his soulmate was a murderer?
Jeremy was pacing back and forth across the bathroom floor, occasionally looking down to check his wrist. It looked like his soulmate’s last name also started with an M. Right now he had ‘Mi a l Me’ on his wrist and Jeremy didn’t know what to make of that, so he continued pacing. Come to think of it though, wasn’t the name supposed to be written in your soulmates handwriting?
Well, at least his soulmate had legible handwriting. It actually sort of looked familiar. Was this someone he knew in class? Had he copied this persons notes before or worked with them on a project? Or maybe it just looked similar to someone else’s.
Looking in the bathroom mirror, Jeremy could feel his wrist stop itching and he knew that it must be complete. He stared himself in the eyes and got up the courage to look down at the name the now adorned his wrist. As he did, he felt his blood run cold.
Jeremy read the name over and over again. He didn’t know whether to be relieved or panicked. The words ‘Michael Mell’ taunted him and no matter how many times he read them, they didn’t change. His soulmate was his twelve-year best friend? There was definitely worse options, he supposed.
Still, how was he going to bring this up to Michael? Being soulmates didn’t have to be romantic and you can be platonic soulmates, but for the most part they were romantic. As far as he knew, Michael didn’t know who his soulmate was. What if it wasn’t Jeremy? He had heard about situations like that, where someone’s soulmate had someone else’s name written on their wrist. Thinking about that made his heart hurt.
Maybe Jeremy should wait to say anything until Michael gets his. Then they can talk about it. So it was decided. Jeremy wouldn’t say anything about it, yet. All he had to do was hide his wrist and Jeremy pretty much always wore long sleeves anyways, so it shouldn’t be that hard, right?
Taking a deep breath, Jeremy walked out of the bathroom. He was glad he came from his last period or else he would have been late to class. However, that meant Michael was waiting for him, since he usually drove Jeremy home. Jeremy subconsciously pressed a finger to his wrist when he thought of Michael. He quickly noticed, however, and retracted his hand.
“Dude, where have you been?” Michael asked as Jeremy approached. “I was about to text you and if you didn’t answer that, then I was just going to leave without you.”
“Uh, yeah. Sorry, I just had to take care of something with my teacher.” Jeremy lied. “I probably should have texted you, but I didn’t realize it would take that long.”
“It cool, man.” Michael clapped a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “Let’s go.” The two boys get in the car and Jeremy just has to ask.
“So, do you know who your soulmate is, yet?” Michael jumped a little at the sudden question.
“Uh, no? I would have told you otherwise, right?” Michael glanced at him for a second before putting his eyes back on the road. “Why are you even asking?”
“Oh, well, I, uh, was just curious. I mean, we are around the age we should be getting names on our wrist, so, um, yeah.”
“Did you get yours?” Michael asked, genuinely interested and curious.
“What? Me? No. Of course not!” Smooth, Jeremy. Real smooth. You’re an actor for Christ’s sake you can do better than this! Time for a little improv. “I wish I knew, but I still have to wait. Sometimes I wonder if I even have a soulmate…”
Michael seemed to buy that. “Jeremy, of course you’ll get your soulmate. And they better be awesome because they get to be with the best guy in the world.” Hearing Michael say that made Jeremy’s heart skip a beat. Which is new… but not unwelcome. Jeremy’s soulmate was awesome all right.
“Besides, you’d be the first one to know if I did find out who my soulmate is.” Jeremy said, hating that he had to lie about that. They drove home in silence and Jeremy was sort of regretting not telling Michael but he’s already got himself in this far, so might as well stick with it. Michael dropped off Jeremy and they waved goodbye.
Jeremy headed upstairs and set his bag down and flopping onto his bed. Things were definitely going to be more complicated after today. Jeremy sighed and got out his homework. Maybe algebra could distract him from his problems. He grabbed a pencil and stared blankly at the paper. Jeremy scribbled down a few equations on his math homework before giving up.
He couldn’t think straight. Quite literally, actually. There was no way he could focus on math when all he could think about right now was Michael. Jeremy had lied to him. He could have ripped off the bandage and told Michael, but he had already decided he wasn’t going to, so he lied. It was just easier to wait until Michael got his, right? That way they knew for sure they were soulmates.
Honestly, Jeremy didn’t even know what he wanted to happen. So once Michael finds Jeremy’s name on his wrist, then what? They talk about it and... and what happens after that? Lots of things could happen after that. Michael could hate him and deny him as a soulmate, or they could remain friends or... or they could get together and be a couple. Jeremy absolutely didn’t want the first option, the second option left things they way they are now, but the last option… Jeremy wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Did he want to date Michael?
He never thought about guys like that but, Jeremy let himself think about that possibility for a moment. If once they talked, Michael wanted them to be in a romantic relationship…
Jeremy began to imagine what could be. Holding hands in the hallways, cuddling up to Michael while playing AOTD, cute nicknames for each other, a kiss on the cheek, a kiss on the lips…
Jeremy’s heart rate increased and he felt his face get warm. Still, he continued down his train of thought.
Michael running his hands through Jeremy’s hair affectionately while Jeremy lays in his lap, Michael looking down at him in total adoration, Michael gently pressing his lips to Jeremy’s forehead and all over his face, and finally kissing him on the lips. Michael caressing Jeremy’s face in his hands and pouring all of his love into one kiss. Michael slipping one of his hands down and up into Jeremy’s shirt, his hand making Jeremy’s skin warm in its wake. Michael crawling into Jeremy’s lap and straddling him, deepening the kiss and trailing his hand down even further...
Jeremy felt a twitch in his pants and stopped his thoughts in their tracks immediately, before he ended up with a problem he didn’t want to have to deal with. Shifting in his seat a little, Jeremy reflected on his thoughts. Obviously, he didn’t mind the thought of being more intimate with Michael. Even thinking about the little things like cuddling with Michael gave Jeremy a rush. Michael was amazing in every way and imaging being with him made Jeremy feel overwhelmed with such positive loving feelings swelling inside his chest. So, yes, Jeremy concluded, he did want to date Michael.
How he never noticed this before was beyond him. He supposed it was because he was so hung up on Christine and he never even thought about Michael that way before.
Jeremy’s phone ran suddenly and startled him. He quickly grabbed it and saw it was Michael. He answered.
“Uh, h-hey, Michael!” Why is he so nervous? It’s only Michael! Just because Jeremy realized some feelings out doesn’t mean he needs to act weird around his best friend now!
“Hey, Jere. You left your school ID in my car. It must have fallen out of your pocket.”
“Um. Okay? Y-you could have just texted me.” There was no reason Michael had to call Jeremy just for a little thing like that.
“Yeah, but I like hearing your voice.” Jeremy’s face quickly turned a deep shade of red.
“Wha-? You- uh um… what?” Jeremy spluttered.
“Dude, are you okay? You’ve been all flustered since I called. Were you just masturbating or something?”
“What?! No! Why would you think- No!” Jeremy’s voice cracked.
“It’s cool if you were, I’m not judging. We’re teenage boys after all, it’s just something we do.” How was Michael so chill in talking about himself masturbating? And now Jeremy was attempting to keep the pictures of said masturbating out of his head. He did not need images of Michael touching himself in his brain right now.
“Michael, I was not masturbating!” Jeremy screeched.
“Okay, okay, I believe you.” Michael laughed. “Anyways, do you want to play Apocalypse of The Damned? I’m bored.”
“Don’t you have homework?” Jeremy questioned, raising an eyebrow even thought Michael couldn’t see it.
“Why do you think I’m bored?”
“That’s fair. Sure, let’s play.” Jeremy hung up and walked over to his game console, turning it on. He placed his headphones on his head and connected with Michael online.
They played through from the beginning and made it all the way to level nine, which is where they always got stuck. Michael and Jeremy played the same level over and over again for a while, but it seems like they weren’t having any luck with it today, either.
Jeremy could hear Michael let out a yawn through his headphones. “Dude, I’m getting tired. I’m gonna hit the hay. See ya tomorrow.”
“Ok, first of all Michael, who says ‘hit the hay’ these days?”
“Says the guy who still says ‘pimp’ and ‘mac daddy’.” Michael shot back.
“Touché.” Jeremy had to give him that one. “Anyways, good night.”
“Night, bro!” Michael shouted into his mic before logging off.
Jeremy took a glance at his homework and groaned. He didn’t really want to do it, but it was due tomorrow. So Jeremy picked up a pencil and attempted to do at least 70% of the problems.
Michael walked up to Jeremy with urgency. “We need to talk.”
“Um, okay?” Jeremy replied as Michael dragged him off to go somewhere private. Then Michael pulled up his sleeve revealing Jeremy’s name. Jeremy’s heart skipped a beat when he read it and he swallowed hard before pulling up his own sleeve. “So what do you want to do?”
“I want you to leave me alone.” Michael’s icy tone froze Jeremy in his tracks.
“W-what?”
“You can’t be my soulmate.”
“B-but I am…”
“No. You’re not. Because as far as I’m concerned, Jeremy Heere doesn’t exist. So I don’t have a soulmate.”
“M-Michael, why are you doing this?” Tears were streaming down Jeremy’s face now.
“Because I don’t want you to be my soulmate! You stole this important thing from me, and I’ll never forgive you for this. So just get out of my life.”
“Michael…” Jeremy reached out a hand towards the tan boy, thinking maybe he could do something to fix this. Michael glared at Jeremy with a burning hate, and Jeremy flinched back.
“Fucking go, already!” Michael screamed and pushed Jeremy. Jeremy fell backwards and his skull it the floor with a crack-
Jeremy woke up with tears in his eyes. Thank God, it was a dream. Jeremy wiped his face and brought his knees up to his chest. He sat there for a minute, trying to steady his breathing.
The situation in his dream would never happen. Michael would never do something like that. So why was Jeremy’s heart racing with fear? Jeremy gripped the wrist that had Michael’s name on it tightly. It was just a dream. That’s it. Just a dream.
Jeremy glanced at the time. It was four in the morning. That’s way too early to be up, so he laid back down and prayed for good dreams to come.
When Jeremy woke up again it was time to get ready for school. Ugh. Jeremy didn’t want to go to school. Well, Jeremy never wanted to go to school, but he still had to go anyways.
Jeremy started to get ready for school. He changed his clothes, went to the bathroom and brushed his hair. He paused when he remember he had two classes with Michael today. He wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that. Part of him didn’t want to see Michael. He still was feeling an irrational fear that Michael would somehow find out and reject him. It wasn’t just that though. If Jeremy acted off today, then Michael would notice. When you’ve been best friends with someone for as long as they have, you notice that kind of thing.
The other part of him did want to see Michael. It would calm his fears to see Michael acting normal. To remind Jeremy that his dream was just a dream. After all, twelve years of friendship can’t mean nothing. Plus, Jeremy couldn’t just avoid Michael. He’d definitely know something was up then. Besides, he could blame any weirdness on that fact that it's finals week next week and the stress is getting to him. So, Jeremy slipped on his shoes, grabbed his backpack and headed out the door.
One of the two classes that Jeremy had with Michael was his first class, so Jeremy was mentally preparing himself while sitting on the bus. When stepping off of the bus, Jeremy caught sight of Michael’s PT Cruiser in the parking lot and took another shaky breath. He kept telling himself there was no reason to be nervous. It was only Michael. His best friend. The person he’s known since Kindergarten. The person he spends almost every day with. Nothing to to nervous about. Nothing at all.
Yet, when Jeremy saw Michael from across the hall, his heart jumped all the way up to his throat. He mentally pushed it back down and strode over to the boy in the red hoodie.
“Hey, Michael!”
“Hey, dude.” Michael immediately went to hug Jeremy. It wasn’t unusual for him to do this, but Jeremy felt his skin tingle where Michael touched him. Geez, he needed to calm down and get over this. “Oh, yeah!” Michael pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to Jeremy.
Jeremy took it and saw it was his student ID. Right, he left it in Michael’s car yesterday. “I almost don’t want to give it up.” Michael commented. “You look so cute in it.”
“What?” Jeremy spluttered. “No I don’t. It’s an ID. No one looks good in ID photos.”
“Then explain this.” Michael pointed at the image of Jeremy.
“I look gross in this.” To be fair, Jeremy thought he looked gross pretty much all the time.
“You want to see a bad ID photo?” Michael once again reached into his pocket and grabbed his wallet out. He took out his own ID to show to Jeremy.
“Dude, this isn’t a bad photo, what are you talking about?” Jeremy thought Michael looked nice in the picture. Then again, he thought Michael always looked great. Even when he was making the weirdest faces, he was adorable.
“Are you kidding me? I look terrible in this.”
“Oh my God, we are so self-deprecating.”
Heading to class, the boys talked and it was normal. Jeremy was so relieved at just how easy talking to Michael was. Nothing was really different, except for the keen awareness of his own wrist.
The rest of the day went by without Jeremy realizing. Soon enough, he was walking out of class to go meet Michael and go home. Which left him with another thing to worry about. It was Friday and next week was finals. Although, it sort of meant he didn’t have to see Michael as much because of all his studying.
To be honest, though, Jeremy thought it was going to be harder to not see Michael than having to see him everyday. It would make the whole soulmate thing easier to hide if he wasn’t around, but Jeremy liked having Michael with him. You tended to like hanging out with people you like. And he definitely liked Michael. As a friend… and maybe something more.
...Okay, definitely something more.
Either way, he would be studying like mad for next week. Not the most fun thing to do, but he spend the last two days worrying so much, what’s a few more days of worrying about something? In a way it was strange, to try and stop worrying about something by worrying about something else. Did that even make sense? Whatever.
Jeremy ended up thinking about it anyways, in between studying. He knew how he felt about Michael, but he didn't know how Michael felt about him. He didn't want to ruin their friendship by telling Michael how he feels. Jeremy felt cliche just thinking that, but it's true. If he told Michael and Michael didn't feel the same way, then they'd lose some of their closeness.It would be awkward and weird around each other for a while. Maybe forever.
Plus, Jeremy didn't think he'd be a good boyfriend. A boyfriend is supposed to help you and support you through the bad times, but Jeremy barely wanted to deal with his own problems. Having to deal with Michael's problems felt like too much. Jeremy still had a sort of responsibility as a friend to support Michael, but a boyfriend would put way more weight to it.
Jeremy didn't think he was good at helping with people's problems. He was too afraid of somehow making it worse, so he usually tried to avoid it.
However, Michael was his soulmate. He had to tell him eventually. He just can't live his life not saying anything. They were going to have to talk about this someday. Just… not today.
Finals went by quicker than expected, and Jeremy felt so relieved to be done with school for a few months. And while he has thought about the whole soulmate thing, finals really did take his mind off all of that. Jeremy felt refreshed after finishing his last final. He could almost forget all about his problems and just relax. Of course, his problems still weighed in the back of his mind, but he could care less about them now.
Instead of driving Jeremy home, Michael went to his own house. They hadn’t really hung out all week, so Michael figured they could chill and play video games in his basement today. As soon as Jeremy stepped out of the car, it was as if he stepped straight into hell. Not because things were going badly or anything, but because of the immense heat. It really is Summer now. The boys quickly went inside and down to the basement.
Michael offered Jeremy some soda that he kept in his mini fridge. Michael always had some discontinued soda stocked up in that mini fridge. Today he had some Crystal Pepsi. It’s like regular Pepsi… but clear.
Anyways, they sat down on their bean bags and started drinking their sodas. It was just as it’s always been. Their conversations came naturally and they were totally comfortable in each other’s presences. It eventually lead back to video games as it inevitably does with them. Michael leans over to switch on the tv and they get ready to play Apocalypse Of The Damned, determined to finally beat Level Nine: The Cafetorium.
“Michael, on your right!” Jeremy cries out, alerting Michael to a zombie that had been creeping up on him.
“Got it!” Michael yelled back, slaying it before turning back to Jeremy. “Dude, behind you!”
They went back and forth, killing zombies and keeping an eye out for one another. It was an intense session of button mashing and sharp reflexes. There were zombies everywhere. Wherever they turned, there were more zombies coming at them. There was no break in between the zombies, some of them even coming in pairs and attacking them from both sides or in threes, outnumbering them. Which is why they had been struggling to beat this level. There was absolutely no time to heal, even with a teammate. They pushed through with sheer adrenaline pulsing through their veins to fuel them. They probably died and had to restart about ten times, but they didn’t give up, only taking a break between attempts to chug some water.
And then they did it. The two boys stared at the screen in disbelief as ‘Level Complete’ flashed across the screen.
“We… we did it.” Jeremy remained staring at the screen, completely still.
“We made it to level ten…” Michael was pretty much in the same position.
They eventually break their trance after it really hits them that they finally did it. They cheer and hug each other chanting, “We did it! We did it!”
The excitement settled down after a few moments and they stayed wrapped in each others arms. “Jeremy, no offense, but you stink.”
“Yeah, you don’t smell any better.”
Both Jeremy and Michael were covered in sweat from a combination of working so hard and the heat that has made its way from outside into Michael’s basement. “Jesus, when did it get so hot in here?” Michael pulled on his hoodie.
Jeremy laid down on his bean bag, trying to rapidly fan himself. “You look like your going to pass out.” Michael commented. “You should take of your jacket before you die.” Jeremy entirely agreed and started to shimmy out of his jacket until it suddenly hit him why he couldn’t.
“No.”
“Seriously, take it off.”
“I can’t.”
“Yes you can. You’re going to die of heat stroke if you keep that thing on.”
Jeremy opened his mouth to say ‘No really, I’m fine’, but ended up squeaking out, “I’m going to die of embarrassment if I do take it off!”
Michael stopped in his tracks. “Wait, are you still self-conscious of your body? You don’t have to be like that with me. I’ll love you no matter what, bro.” Jeremy’s heart pounded loudly in his ears at the word ‘love’. Jeremy almost actually took his jacket off because of how sincere Michael’s words were but he stopped again. He had to remind himself that Michael didn’t even mean it like that.
“No you won’t.” Jeremy breathed, probably sounding more bitter than he meant.
“Of course I will.” Again, Michael said that like he wholeheartedly meant it and it made Jeremy’s heart leap and his stomach do flips.
“I’m still not taking it off.” Jeremy protested.
“I will literally cut you out of that thing if I have to.”
“Well what about you?” Jeremy argued, “You still have your big hoodie on. Aren’t you hot?” ‘Oh, he’s definitely hot’, Jeremy’s brain supplied and Jeremy shut down that thought right away. Jeremy could see that Michael was sweating just as much, if not more, than he was.
“If I take off my hoodie, will you take off your jacket?”
“...Maybe?” Jeremy said, not really knowing how to respond.
“Yes or no?”
“...fine.” Jeremy knew he couldn’t argue with Michael forever. He was going to have to take it off one way or another.
“Okay, then.” Michael replied.
They both awkwardly took of their respective outer layers and Jeremy attempted to do so while still hiding the wrist with Michael’s name on it. It didn’t work that well. Jeremy had finished totally removing his jacket when he looked up at Michael, who was frozen with his hoodie only half way off.
“Uh, what?” Jeremy nervously asked, silently hoping the reason Michael was staring at him wasn’t because he saw Jeremy’s wrist. He hoped, but he knew deep down that it was the reason why.
“You-” Michael’s voice broke off. He quickly took the rest of his hoodie off. “You have it.”
Michael didn’t have to explain what ‘it’ was. Jeremy’s breath choked up in his throat. He was caught. There was no saving him now. Michael reached out for Jeremy and placed a tender hand on his arm. “Can I see it?”
Jeremy didn’t know what to say. What could he say? He glanced back and forth between Michael’s face and his arm, not really sure where to rest his eyes. It was then he noticed, however, that a little black was showing on Michael’s own arm. Jeremy reached his hand, the one on the arm Michael wasn’t holding and placed a finger where the ink was showing. “You have it too.” Michael shivered a little at the touch.
This was it, right? He said once Michael got his, they would talk. Jeremy took a deep breath and flipped his arm around so Michael’s name was exposed. There. It was all out in the open. Jeremy held his breath as Michael read over the words. The name. His name that was on Jeremy’s wrist. Michael ran a thumb over the letters in such a way that Jeremy’s heart fluttered.
Michael finally ripped his eyes away from the name long enough to look right at Jeremy. Jeremy still hadn’t breathed. That probably wasn’t a good thing.
Then, Michael revealed his own wrist, and Jeremy finally took in some air with the little gasp he made. He should have been expecting his name on Michael’s wrist, but he had been building up a fear of it not being there, so it shocked him, just a bit. Still, Jeremy felt tears welling up in his eyes. It relieved him so much to finally let all of this go and to see his name on Michael’s wrist.
“Jeremy? Are you crying? Oh no, did I do something wrong?” Michael worried. Jeremy couldn’t find the words to speak, so he just shook his head as a few tears rolled down his cheek.
“They’re good tears.” Jeremy told him, once his voice was working again.
“Oh.”
Of course, here comes the awkward part. The part where they had to talk about their feelings. About what this meant for them. “So…” Jeremy began, face already heating up. “What-” Before Jeremy could even say any more, not that he was even sure where he was going with that sentence, Michael cut him off.
“I’ve been in love with you since the 7th grade.” Michael blurted out.
“You… what?” Michael… loved him? Jeremy needed time to process this.
“I mean it’s cool if you don’t want this to be a romantic thing, there are plenty of platonic soulmates out there and we’re already best friends and I’m hoping that this doesn’t make things weird now that I’ve said it and-” Michael rambled, face getting redder with each word.
“Michael, shut up.” Michael instantly shut his mouth. “Because I may just totally possibly definitely maybe love you too.”
Michael seemed to be a little perplexed by that statement, so Jeremy just leaned over to explain the old-fashioned way with a kiss on those lips that Jeremy may or may not have been fantasizing about for the past week or so.
Michael didn’t react for a second but then he reached up his hands to hold Jeremy’s face, leaning his head to deepen the kiss. In that moment, everything just felt right, like all of the stars aligned in the sky just to witness this. Michael’s lips on his were so more soft than Jeremy had imagined. The warmth from his lips spread all throughout Jeremy’s body, igniting a fire in his heart. Any thought that Jeremy could have been having went right out of the window. Instead, all he could focus on was the sensation of lips moving against his own, passionately but not with any rush behind it. It was two people finding and exploring each other, knowing they’ve got all the time in the world to do so.
They slowly pulled back, breathing in each other as they rested their foreheads against one another.”Woah.” Jeremy breathed.
“Woah.” Michael echoed.
Jeremy longed to dive right back in and place his lips over Michael’s once more, but curiosity took the better of him. “How long have you even had that thing?”
“Uh, like a year?”
“A year?!?” Jeremy screeched.
“I wanted to wait until you got yours…” Michael mumbled.
“But that’s what I was doing!”
“Jesus Christ, we’re fucking idiots.” Michael shook his head.
“God, what’s wrong with us?” Jeremy groaned.
“Great minds think alike, I suppose.”
“This is probably why we’re soulmates, because we’re the two biggest idiots on the planet.”
“Well, at least you’re cute.”
“You’re cuter.”
“Oh, we are so not going to go there.”
“Where?” Jeremy asked innocently.
“Where I say ‘you’re cute’ and you say I’m cuter, and I say, ‘no you’re the cutest’ and it goes back and forth forever like that until we finally give up.”
“You’re right. I’m so glad we skipped that whole thing because that means we can just go straight back to kissing.” Jeremy brought Michael’s face close so that their lips were touching.
“More like gay back to kissing.” Michael snickered.
“Michael, shut your freaking mouth or I’m not kissing you.”
“I’m pretty sure you’d kiss me anyways.”
“Fuck, you’re right.”
And kiss him he does.