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Gavin burns too bright. He contains it, keeps it safe, only allowing enough light to escape to warm the poor mortals below, but still it tears him apart from the inside. Every day he parts his golden robes and stares at the web of cracks spreading up his skin, growing ever closer to his heart. When that happens...would he die? He was a god, the Solar Queen. Immortal, supposedly. And yet Gavin suspected he could indeed perish. It was only a matter of time. The fire within him would scorch his flesh and bones, breaking him open bit by bit until he shattered into a billion fragments of light and disappeared forever.
Pitiful little queen, blessed and cursed with magic he couldn’t control. Gavin wondered what would happen to the mortals below when he fell. They needed his light to survive. If he died...and what of their world, the beautiful land of green and swirling blue waters that reflected his sun so beautifully? The very thought he might destroy the mortals and their home sickened him. Ever since his creation he’d done nothing but help them, gifted their lives with a magic and fire that now wanted to swallow him whole. It was the cruelest twist of fate. All he wanted to do was live and give life, tender soul that he was deep down. But the fire pulsed greedily in his veins, liquid gold oozing through the cracks to spill down his cheeks like tears. Gavin was going to die. He couldn’t deny that any longer.
“This isn’t what I wanted.” Curling wisps of steam swam across Gavin’s skin as he floated down from his spot in the heavens, the dim glow of his magic illuminating the horizon in shades of pink and softest orange. As he fell, so too did the sun. The beginning of the end. Gavin touched down gently though, despite it all, cold stone numbing his feet and a feather soft breeze ruffling his tawny brown hair. This world was peaceful. The only sign of his weakening were the flames. Hearths grew cool, torches crumbled to dark ruby embers. In their flimsy light Gavin could just barely make out the outline of his temple, a monument of pale stone pillars and a stained glass dome crafted year’s ago when humanity first began to worship his name. No sunlight turned those glass panes to jewels though. Not today, or ever again.
Step by step he approached the temple, splashes of gold left like breadcrumbs in his wake as Gavin slowly climbed its stairs, feeling the searing burn deep inside him growing stronger. Every minute more cracks awoke across his flesh, pulsing and hungry. Heavens above, how could fate be this cruel? Gavin choked back a pained cry, stifling it against a blood splattered fist. The temple was dark inside, and a sorrowful silence awaited him, cold and oppressing, weighing down his haggard form. It was all he could do to reach the center before he collapsed in a heap of limbs.
“Why?” Grinding his teeth, Gavin tasted copper, trickles of illuminate gold weaving down his chin. They offered the only light, this malicious web devouring him whole. Even through his clothes the blood glowed molten hot, though it did little to stop the darkness licking at his heels, caressing his cloak like a long lost lover. Cringing away did nothing. He was too weak, all but ready to collapse within himself. “Stop. Stop! I don’t want this!” Gavin hissed in pain, clawing at the front of his once pristine robes. “They—they need me. I can’t bloody let them down! What’ll they do? They’re just mortals. They can’t live without warmth, love. Someone has to take care of them!”
There was no answer, only silence, and Gavin’s own raspy breathing. The fire within him grew brighter still, but it couldn’t free him from his morbid thoughts. It harkened them, courting the falling night outside the temple and its unrelenting shadows, a darkness Gavin had only heard about in stories. It was this darkness mortals feared. Pitch black, oppressing, the complete antithesis of his welcoming light. How much they didn’t know, could never understand. Were the light so pleasant, it wouldn’t now be killing him. Killing itself.
“.....I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Tears splashed the back of his hands, jewel bright in the night. Gavin slumped to the floor in a pool of his own blood, his cheek flush against the cool marble. “I never thought this could happen. What kind of god am I?” A poor one, condemning those who loved and needed him to death. And if not death, something equally worse. But Gavin couldn’t do anything to stop it. His death was a heartbeat away. His life’s blood coated him, stained the temple floor, viscous golden fire teasing the shadows surrounding him. Gavin looked at them with bleary eyes, watching the darkness coil through the flames in a strange sort of dance. Where they touched, gold weakened, became a paler sort of silver light he’d never seen before. “Strange....”
“Indeed. But I suppose this all must seem strange for you, little sun. You’ve never tasted death before.” Hands sprouted from the silver, then arms, legs, a regal countenance with eyes as illuminate as Gavin’s own. Had he the energy, he would’ve shouted, scrambled away, but he was too weak. And yet....he didn’t hurt. Not like before. His blood, once pure fire, kept evaporating into that pearly white glow that was quickly overtaking the room. It was a velvety nimbus of light, soothing and cool. Gavin felt it down to his very bones, and he moaned from relief, even as confusion and fear waged war inside him.
“I don’t understand. What are you doing? Who are you??”
The figure chuckled, crouching down beside him. “Hard to say really. Once I was the thing your mortals feared. Shadows, nightmares, the unending terror eating away their very souls. Not by design, of course, but then I don’t think I need to explain myself to you. We are what we were made to be. Incomplete. Flawed.” A soft hand slipped beneath Gavin’s head, lifting him up. The new angle granted him better sight, allowing him to see the fading cracks on his chest that only minutes ago had overtaken him. “You’re healing.”
“But...” Gavin wanted to weep. From happiness, fear? “I feel different. It doesn’t hurt anymore! The light, it’s”
“Diminished,” the figure murmured, smiling crookedly. Holding Gavin seemed to be strengthening him, for his form was becoming more and more solid, taking shape. Paler skin than Gavin’s own, though not untouched by a kiss of gold. Wavy brown locks, a strong jaw. Gavin felt a strong stirring of affection for this stranger, who wasn’t so much a stranger really. Enemy? No, that wasn’t right either. “You’re thinking too much. We have all the time in the world to figure out what we can be to each other. For now, let us simply be as we are.”
Gavin curled into the delightful coolness emitting from the paler man, catching a glimpse of the outside world from his spot beneath the stained glass dome. Where once the sky was black, now a pale orb floated in a bower of glittering diamonds and milky streaks of blue. So like his sun in shape, but it was white. “So...what are we then?” Gavin placed a hand against the man’s chest. There was fire within him too. Gavin’s own fire, morphed into something new. “The mortals call me their Solar Queen.”
“Solar Queen? Such a lonely title.”
Gavin flushed, though he couldn’t help but smile. For darkness incarnate, the man was quite pleasant. Even welcoming. He wanted to get closer, meld himself with this comforting presence. “It’s what they picked. I didn’t choose it. But it’s nice, isn’t it? Regal and all.”
“I suppose you’re right.” Warm laughter embraced him, husky and sensual. It made something inside the sun god sing with a unique sense of completion. He’d never known such a feeling before. And he never wanted it to stop “Well then. I’m pleased to finally meet you, Solar Queen. My name’s Ryan.” Silken fingers traced down Gavin’s jaw, Ryan’s gaze never leaving his. “You can also call me your Moon King.”