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Beau liked Fjord, she really did. Not in like, a romantic way or anything, but they both shared a general appreciation for fighting things and getting shit done while everyone else was still talking over what to do. He reminded her of the guys she had hung out with back home, except he was not actually an asshole, unlike certain lavender skinned full of themselves tieflings she could mention. Fjord had probably meant to be helpful when he had told her that her tone of voice combined with her facial expression made her compliments seem like insults, but now she couldn’t stop thinking about what she was saying, how she was saying it, and what her face was doing at any given time, and frankly it was exhausting. Battling the beast in the sewers had been less tiring, honestly, because at least during a fight all she had to worry about was fighting, not how she sounded during it.
It wasn’t like Beau didn’t get excited about things or smile or whatever, it just… took a lot to make her face actually match what she was feeling when she wasn’t legitimately excited. Just regular interaction with folks didn’t seem worth the effort it took to pitch her voice into something more friendly or smile when she just wasn’t feeling it. Still, she couldn’t stop thinking about it as she stared into the small mirror by her bed in the Leaky Tap. She had the room to herself for once, since Jester had gotten herself a room at the Pillow Trove, so there was no one around to hear her talking to herself, trying different inflections in her speech, watching what her face did as she talked. “You look very attractive today,” she said into the mirror, trying out a smile.
“Why thank you,” said a familiar voice from behind her.
Beau froze, and since she was still staring into the mirror she could actually watch the flush creep up her neck and into her face before she turned around. “Yasha, ummmm, how long have you been standing there?”
The barbarian flicked her eyes up towards the ceiling momentarily as she considered. “Literally standing behind you? Ten seconds. But your door wasn’t closed all the way, so I heard you out in the hallway before I came in. And Molly might have seen you a few minutes ago, because he was the one who told me that you were talking to yourself while also making faces and that I should either check on you or help him sell tickets to your mental breakdown.”
Beau groaned and sat down hard on the bed. “Gods, why does he have to be such an asshole?”
Yasha chuckled. “He’s like that with some people. I was coming up here anyway though, so he needn’t have bothered. I heard Jester wasn’t rooming with you tonight so I was wondering if I could crash with you?”
“Sure!” Beau said quickly, and then cursed herself for responding so fast and sounding so excited. “I mean, sure, that’s fine,” she said, and then mentally berated herself for sounding so flat.
“All right then,” Yasha said, and instead of moving over to Jester’s bed she laid out her bedroll on the patch of floor between Jester and Beau’s bed. “Most beds tend to be a little bit small for me,” Yasha said, answering Beau’s unasked question.
“Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense,” Beau said, remembering about halfway through her sentence to try and pitch her voice up slightly so she’d sound interested, which made it sound squeaky and weird, and the facial expression she had picked to go with it felt stiff. It wasn’t like she wasn’t interested, her voice and face just naturally didn’t do things if she wasn’t super excited!
Yasha gave Beau a long look. “Okay, I think I just figured out why you were talking to yourself in front of a mirror. Who told you there was something wrong with the way you speak or look? If it was Molly he should know better, because the one time he even jokingly made a comment about how I sounded I stopped speaking entirely for a month, and he was very sorry. Even if I grew to like the term he used, ‘resting murder voice.’ I mean, it goes with my resting murder face.”
Beau laughed and felt the tension drain from her ever so slightly even as Yasha sat down on the bed next to her. “Oh I like that, that’s perfect. I mean, it doesn’t bother you, does it?”
Yasha shrugged, and one of the corners of her mouth twitched up for a moment. “I mean, it’s fair, I usually look like I’m ready to kill something because, well, I’m ready to kill something. And I can’t help my voice unless I continuously make an effort that I just don’t have time or energy for.”
“Exactly!” Beau said.
“Besides,” Yasha said. “Anyone who was paying attention would be able to tell what you’re feeling from your eyes. They’re very expressive. The way they squint when you’re angry, or crinkle at the edges when you’re happy…” Yasha reached up and cupped Beau’s face with one hand, thumb trailing lightly over Beau’s cheekbone. “Or the way they go all wide whenever you look at me.”
Beau swallowed hard, staring at Yasha’s mismatched eyes, which were wide as well. “And what are my eyes telling you right now?”
Yasha leaned a little closer, dropping her voice slightly. “That you’d like very much if I kissed you.”
“Funny,” Beau said, leaning towards Yasha herself. “Your eyes are telling me the exact same thing.”
“See?” Yasha said, so close now that her lips brushed against Beau’s as she spoke. “Very expressive.”
The kiss was soft and sweet, and both seemed too short and like it lasted for an eternity. When Yasha broke the kiss, Beau immediately leaned forward for another, but Yasha just chuckled and drew back.
“You are tired, and I am tired, I can see that in your eyes too. I’ll still be here in the morning, I do believe, and I’d say goodbye first at any rate.”
It wasn’t until after Beau had put out the light and crawled into bed that she realized she had never answered Yasha’s question. “It was Fjord who said something. About my voice, I mean, and how I look when I talk. He… meant well I’m sure.”
“Hmmmm,” Yasha said from her place on the floor. “I vote that over breakfast we both give him our best resting murder faces.”
Beau grinned, feeling the expression stretch across her face. “That sounds like the best plan,” she replied, and it was nice not to have to change her voice at all.