Chapter Text
It took her a year to get used to it. A year of walking into walls and people and things that she knew weren’t where they last were when she was last there. She grew more and more frustrated with every stumble and fall. She was so tired of it she “accidentally” fell off the balcony of her room.
That’s when her mother decided that she should be sent away. She was sent out of Arcadia, out of her realm and put somewhere no one would go looking for the cursed princess.
But of course they did. She was in a tower, it’s always a tower, and she had tutors. She learned everything she would have if she were still living in the castle in Arcadia. She thought that maybe it was Polaris, the weather was cold half the year, not temperate and Arcadia’s neighbors to the north were the only cold places she knew of aside from Azgeda and no one comes back from Azgeda.
Aurora Blake, she was Clarke’s chef for years, also made her dresses, trying to support her children in secret. A widowed woman living alone with two children, the world was judgmental and cruel and she’d be executed. She was the only person Clarke spoke to since… not true, she spoke to her suitors. The men trying to save the princess and break the curse with ‘true love’s kiss’ but all that did was give her the knowledge of their deaths. She didn’t want them, she didn’t want her father’s either, but she gained the knowledge and told them. And everyone died. So she’s kept her distance from Aurora, they talked and gained each other’s trust and Clarke found out Aurora was deathly ill a week before she passed.
Clarke cried for the woman who cared so much about her children, who cared about Clarke that when Bellamy Blake showed up the next day, Clarke sent him away to let him mourn, but he refused, they needed the money more than ever now that his mother was dead and he was the only one looking after Octavia.
“What are you looking at?” he asked, the smell of freshly baked bread wafting into the room with him.
Clarke scoffed. “I don’t know.”
“You look out that window every day, I assume you’d know what’s out there.”
Clarke spun around and found his shadow, or what she thought might be his shadow and looked up at him. “I don’t even know what I look like.”
“You’re—you’re blind?” he asked. He’s been there for six months and Clarke has tried to never show him her eyes.
“I was cursed when I was five. I was protecting my father and because of that love, it turned a spell that was supposed to kill him into a curse that blinded me.”
“So you were thrown in a tower to await Prince Charming and his true love’s kiss.”
“Sardonic,” Clarke smiled and turned back to the window. “We might get along.”
“My mother spoke of you when she wasn’t exhausted.”
“I didn’t work her too hard, did I?”
“No, no,” he said and he sounded honest. “She’d leave you and go to the Inn and work there for a few hours.”
“Is that what you do?”
“I—I tutor.”
“I could ask my mother for a raise for you, you shouldn’t have to overwork yourself.”
“You’re not the only one that’s cursed, Princess.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m twenty four and unwed, no one will marry me and I can’t be a professor if I’m unwed.”
”I’ll marry you,” Clarke offered, knowing full well that her mother would never allow it. Hell, he might find her repulsive.
“Brave princess,” he said sounding bemused. “I’m putting the bread on the table.”
“I didn’t tell you so you’d tell me where you’ve placed things or to treat me differently, Bellamy. Frankly, I wish I had nothing to tell.”
“Telling you where I put things would be easier for the both of us. You’ll know so when I come back up here again, I don’t have a mess to clean up.”
“That is true,” Clarke smirked. “Okay, but no more special treatment.”
“I would never,” he sounded half offended and half-jokingly and Clarke liked that he was loosening up around her. “I’m going to head out for the night, is there anything you may want or need from the village?”
“I was hoping for a new dress, I don’t know how you are at seam stressing, your mother made all my dresses because it was more economical and less time consuming and—”
“My sister is the apprentice for the dress maker. I’m sure she would be delighted for the practice.”
“Okay, she’ll need my measurements.”
“I will bring her with me tomorrow. Please don’t say anything about her becoming a dress maker, she has a temper and would much rather be a member of the guard but women aren’t allowed and she has strong feelings about that.”
“No problem, Bellamy. Thank you for everything.”
“It’s my job, your highness.”
“Have a—have a good night.”
“Do you like my brother?” Octavia asked nearly the moment Bellamy closed the door behind him to check on Clarke’s oatmeal.
“He’s helpful, not as talkative as your mother.”
“He said you get offended easily.”
“Octavia, do you know who I am? Why I live alone in this tower with just your brother to help with my day to day chores?”
“N—no.”
“I haven’t actually said this before, not even when I fully realized it so bear with me. I am Princess Clarke Alexandra Griffin of Arkadia, Duchess of TonDC.”
“I didn’t—our mom never—Bellamy… I’m sorry Your Highness. Please forgive me.”
“No need to apologize, I do not want to be the princess. I want to be normal, but I’m not and I have to deal with that. Sit around and wait for prince charming to show up while also secretly hoping that it never happens.”
“Bell said you offered to marry him so he could become a professor. That was very noble of you.”
“A noble wouldn’t do that,” Clarke smirked, hoping Octavia got the joke. “I was being selfish when I said that, I just want out of this tower.”
“Still. He deserves the world.”
“I don’t have a say in what my mother sends so I don’t know what he makes. I do think he should be making more—“
“No, that’s not what I’m… he deserves more than what Nyc can give him. He will never be a professor here, he can tutor children but he wouldn’t be the one teaching him everything and he wouldn’t have to be stressed about money all the time. He deserves that after everything he’s been through.”
“What—what’s he been through?”
“That’s not my place,” Octavia’s voice was somber and Clarke grimaced, letting her get back to work.
“Could I ask you something?” she asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Sure.”
“Why did the queen send you here, to Polaris? Isn’t there somewhere else you could have gone? Somewhere in Arcadia?”
“Probably. I was six, I didn’t really have a say in where I was placed.”
“Wouldn’t you like to go back?”
“When I can see again.”
“You can’t..? You’re looking right at me.”
“It’s like looking through cloth, I can see the shapes and shadows, but not the details. I know where you are, but I don’t know you’re eye or hair color or what you actually look like, just the shape of you.”
“And Bell, you can see him?” her voice was a little nervous, like there was something bad about Clarke seeing Bellamy’s figure and it confused her because she’s seen him. She’s seen his shaggy hair and broad shoulders, she had a feeling that he was handsome, but she could never be certain about it. Will never know what he looks like and it was something Clarke had gotten used to, but for some reason, there was an aching feeling in her gut every time she thought about it.
“Yeah? He’s taller than you, his hair a bushy mess, right?”
Octavia sighed, “Yeah, that’s my idiot brother. I’m—I’m all set with your measurements, I usually draw up a design to show you but…”
“Bellamy, you can show Bellamy and he can decide.”
“Okay, I’ll see you around.”
“Okay.”
Bellamy told her that the dress was blue, a light blue, not like the sky or the ocean, but somewhere between. Clarke didn’t really care, she just wanted it to fit. She wanted to… God, she wanted to stop falling for Bellamy. Every time they spoke she learned something new about him. He raised Octavia, he taught her to go for whatever she wanted and hates that she can’t. He loves looking up at the stars and knowing the stories, he stayed late one night and told them to Clarke, looking out the window she’s always perched at. She wanted to kiss him that night, she’d never wanted to kiss someone so badly in her life and the only thing that stopped her was the repercussions if he wasn’t her true love.
It didn’t matter because Duke Finn Collins of some Azgeda territory she’d never heard of showed up the next day and kissed her and she cried, seeing Commander Lexa’s army stone him to death. She didn’t know why, she never knew why, so she told him his death and he practically ran out of there like the place was on fire, spouting nonsense about her being the witch.
Bellamy asked if she was okay, but she couldn’t tell him that Finn was upset about knowing his death or that she was more upset about never touching Bellamy than about Finn’s indiscretion.
A few days later it was Dax and she told him he was shot by an arrow. Then Atom, asphyxiation. Zoe Monroe, ambush. Luna, Ilian, and Prince Roan of Azgeda (estranged) were all in combat with each other.
Clarke wanted it all to stop and told Bellamy to send people away, she didn’t want to be rescued.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly a few days after Roan left.
“Fine,” she said sounding harsher than she intended.
“Princess, you know you can talk to me?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“I’d like to think that we’re friends.”
“Me, too.”
“So you can tell me what happens with them.”
“If they’re not the One, I see their death and I have to tell them, I’ve tried not to, but I felt like I was dying when I didn’t. So it just spews out of my mouth so I don’t.”
“So you’re done taking suitors in?”
“Wouldn’t you be?”
“I’m not in a place to court anybody.”
“I doubt that.”
“Clar—Princess, if you could see me…”
“What I see is a kind and caring man that deserves more than what the world has given him.”
“Man?” he questioned with a scoff and Clarke grimaced.
“Aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am.”
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“When you told me about your curse, I told you that you weren’t the only one that was cursed. I am too.”
Clarke gasped, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I’m still me, I can still serve you like my mother and I didn’t think it’d matter but I think I have feelings for you.”
“You think you have feelings?” she asked, trying to hide her smirk.
“I know I do.”
“I’ve wanted to kiss you since you told me about the stars. You made me see them, the way you spoke about them.”
“Give me a few days. There’s a potion that makes me human for twelve hours, it costs a fortune, but I want that, Clarke. I want it more than anything in the world.”
“Why can’t we do it now?”
“Because I’m not…” he sighed and Clarke wished she could see him. “Clarke, I’m a dragon.”
“You’re a… how? Why haven’t I seen that whenever you’re in the room?”
“Because I’m a cursed man? I was born one but it’s a family curse, on my father’s side, we’re dragons until we find our true love and it won’t stop until one of us does.”
“And no one has?”
“No, my father loved my mother, but they weren’t meant to be.”
“And what if we aren’t?”
“You’re worth it.”
“No, I’m not, Bellamy. If we aren’t…”
“If we aren’t and I kiss you, I find out how I die. If we aren’t and we’re here forever, I wouldn’t mind that. I hate leaving every night. I hate that I didn’t tell you, I hate that you didn’t know, but Clarke, I will eternally serve you just to be close to you.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not asking.”
“Then I don’t mind kissing a dragon.”
“Clarke—“
“Bellamy, just bring your face over here, okay?”
“You’re going to kiss my cheek? Does that work?”
Clarke shrugged, “It’s a kiss, right?”
“Yeah, but—“
“I don’t care what they tell the children, a kiss is a kiss. And you want to know how you die, I’m only aiding a masochist and his wishes.”
Bellamy laughed and Clarke felt a presence closer to her before a warm gust of wind tickled her hair. They were both quiet, breaths held, perfectly still and Clarke scoffed. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I have scales, Clarke, arrows barely hurt me.”
“Right,” she laughed and bit her lip, reaching her hand up and her fingertips slammed into something hard and Bellamy groaned. “My jaw,” he informed her and Clarke decided that instead of kissing him—okay, not instead, she’s momentarily postponing it—she wanted to feel his face. She’d done it with everyone she’s met except for him and now it makes sense as to why.
“How did you tutor?” she asked, remembering their conversation from months ago.
“Um, I was the smartest in my class, we had ogres and elves and fairies, commoners are more open than nobles and they didn’t care as long as I didn’t singe their homework. I was a hothead back then.”
Clarke laughed, “Is it weird that I’m nervous?”
“No, I am too.”
She nodded, feeling for his jawline again, finding the corner of his mouth a few inches up and pressed her lips against the seam and held herself there for a moment, eyes closed, hoping that maybe it was close enough and it broke her curse.
She pulled away and opened her eyes and blinked a few times as everything came into focus, including the huge green and black dragon in the room.
“Bellamy—“
“I didn’t think it would work. That’s okay, how do I die?”
Clarke licked her lips as tears began to stream from her eyes, she didn’t understand. How did it work for her but not him? How could she see the yellow and red in his golden eyes and the Everest green and onyx black of his scales and wings? And the maroon curtains that hung all around the room, with the candlelight dancing across every surface and she was so overwhelmed and distraught all at once because if it didn’t work for him, why didn’t she see his death?
“Bellamy—“
“That bad, huh?”
“No, I didn’t—“ she shook her head, how could she tell him that he’s her true love but he isn’t his? How does that even make sense?
“Clarke, seriously, you said it hurts when you don’t tell the person.”
“No, Bellamy, I didn’t—I can—I don’t know. I didn’t see it.”
“What do you mean you didn’t see it?”
“I mean I see you right now, your dragon form and every little detail, you have a scar on your upper lip. Flecks of yellow and red in your eyes, I can see it all. It—it worked.”
“Then how am I still a dragon?”
“I—I don’t know, Bellamy. I mean, if you want to try again, when you take the potion, maybe you won’t change back after the allotted time.”
“Or maybe because you kissed me as a dragon I’m stuck as one forever,” he turned to leave, his tail almost hitting Clarke in the face and maybe it’s always happened and it’s always gotten that close to nearly hitting her and she never realized, but she flinched and Bellamy scoffed, smoke filling the stairwell and he disappeared into it.
Clarke cried herself to sleep that night and didn’t get out of bed in the morning until she heard a racket downstairs and practically ran down to see him, stopping short at a girl with stunning blue wings and long black hair.
“Octavia?” she asked, not knowing what to say.
She spun around, “How did you—Oh, my God, your eyes! They’re blue! Wait, how—who? Who’s your true love?”
“Bellamy.”
“That’s why he kept telling me to cover him, he’s still a dragon and you can see.”
Realization and anger hit Octavia like a brick wall and Clarke didn’t know how to handle seeing emotions laid out so bare.
“Octavia, I didn’t—“
“I know it’s not your fault. I’m not blaming you, it just means we don’t know how to break the curse.”
“I was thinking about that, and I even said this to him, there’s a potion that turns him human again. Temporarily. What if we kissed while it was in his system?”
“It’s worth a shot, right?”
“Yeah,” Octavia smirked.
“Would you try to convince him?”
“Do you have this month’s pay?”
“Yeah, why… one dose is a whole month’s pay?”
“You’re the best employment in the realm.”
“So no one can afford this potion?”
“No. Bellamy takes it once a year, I save part of my pay and give it to him on his birthday, I know he loves being human. He hates that he can’t chase after me for twelve hours, but he can read his books easier.”
“Once a year?”
Octavia nodded.
“When did he last take it?”
“Before mum died.”
Clarke sighed, “Go, take however much you need and get him the potion. I’ve been dying to see him for months.”
Four hours and three loaves of burnt bread later the door opened again and Clarke was afraid to look up. She didn’t want Octavia or another suitor or an angry Bellamy, she wanted the Bellamy that she knew, the Bellamy that protected his sister, told the stories of the stars, the Bellamy who didn’t walk on eggshells around her blindness. She wanted the real Bellamy.
She was suddenly yanked up, out of her chair and while a pair of lips crashed against hers, her eyes fluttered white before showing herself lying in bed, grey hair and wrinkles, with a handsome man lying next to her. His death.
Maybe her death.
She pulled away, her eyes flickering white again before she opened them and she saw the most handsome man she’s ever seen. Messy onyx hair, deep brown eyes, freckles speckled his tan skin and that scar on his upper lip.
Her hands trailed down his arms from his biceps and found a rough patch on the inside of his wrist, pulling it out to look at. Green and black scales, she smiled before looking back at Bellamy’s eyes.
“You came back,” she smiled.
He smiled back, “I’m sorry I was so angry. I really wanted to be human for you.”
“I wouldn’t have cared, I would have loved you with or without scales.”
“You saw the real me.” Clarke grimaced and Bellamy laughed, pressing a kiss to her lips again, “I knew you’d hate that.”
“Come home with me.”
“To Arcadia?”
“To Arcadia. Octavia too, she’s going to be the first woman in the army, or maybe just my guard.”
“I told you that a year ago.”
“I remember everything you’ve told me, since I couldn’t see, I chose to listen.”