Chapter Text
.
5
At the sight of white, something clicks.
There’s really no other way to describe it.
Just… whilst peering up at the falling snowflakes, something crumbles deep within. Like the ice they had been so used to tracking. The child suddenly remembers. The days where Sensei had guided them through muddled pieces of themselves; the days of solitude where they lived to serve; the days with a young troublesome mentee, whom they had sacrificed themselves for. Only as per usual. By the time the flake lands, he’s able to put the pieces together. Gather that that life has ended, and he’s in a new one.
“Fuyuhiko,” Uncle calls out. “The cold’s trickling in.”
The boy turns. Peers, at the man he calls ‘Uncle’, who’s really just an older, foreign, male version of Jade.
“…do you remember?” The child cocks his head.
“Mh-?” Ja-… Uncle blinks, startled. “What do you mean?”
“…No.” ‘Fuyuhiko’ shakes his head. He shuts the window gently, with another soft click. “Hey, is there miso soup for dinner?”
Ango Fuyuhiko is five when he remembers that he’s Antarcticite, but things don’t really change then.
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6
“Do you like flowers?” The woman bends down on her knees.
Through blue eyes, Antarcticite is able to identify her as Euclase. Regardless of her now even hair colour, or her taller frame, or the unfamiliarity of those business clothes, the tone of her speech – gentle and patient – it just never changes.
For a moment, Antarcticite opens his lips and wants to ask if she remembers.
Then, remembering the confused look on his uncle’s face, he opts for a different line.
“It’s going to be Father’s day soon.” Antarcticite watches the surprise flicker across her eyes at his articulacy. He keeps his face petulant as he stares up at the rows of flowers. “I want to give something for my uncle. He’s been…” In a crisis about legal parentage. “…taking care of me.”
“I see.” Euclase smiles. “In that case, a red rose would be perfect.” She kindly extracts a stalk from the pile. “In flower language, it is used to convey love.”
Love…Is that what this is?
“Thank you.” Antarcticite accepts the flower gingerly, tracing the petals. This would hopefully settle whatever stupid worries Jade is having again.
“Your uncle must be happy to have such a well-mannered child.” Euclase pats his head. “I’ll see you again another time.”
“Ah, wai-” Antarcticite bites his tongue. Holds it, even as Euclase tilts her head. “…bye bye.”
“Heheh, bye bye.”
Watching her walk away with heels clicking against the pavement, Antarcticite wonders what he’s doing for the nth time. Why is he not grasping onto these people who he remembers? And why is he reborn into a world like this?
He’s home minutes later, and Jade’s furious.
“Haven’t I already told you not to leave alone?! What were you doing out there?!” Hands on his hips, hair rustled over his shoulders, this Jade – Uncle – is a lot more intimidating when he’s mad. “Do you want to be hurt?! To cross the street and – Just like – Brother and sister-”
Jade chokes. Bites down on his lip, hard.
Antarcticite flinches. Slowly, he pulls the flower from his back.
“I just went to get a gift.” He answers firmly, to Jade’s growing ire. “Here. For you.” Antarc would be lying if he says he’s not pleased to see the rage tumble off the other’s face, replaced by the same dumbfounded one he’s seen too often. He closes the door behind him, tugs at the sleeve of his Uncle’s shirt as he pushes the rose into the other’s hand. “Happy Father’s Day. …or something like that.” It’s hard to say, when he never had kin.
Seconds later, when arms envelop him, Antarcticite is stunned.
He wonders if this is Jade’s form of revenge, for worrying him.
He wonders, if this is that something which kept him from calling out to Euclase.
.
7
Jade always walks on the side closer to the street, Antarcticite notices. As if, subtly, to protect him.
Antarcticite always tightens his grip on Jade’s hand in return.
At night, in the privacy of his room, Antarcticite sometimes dreams.
He dreams of unending days of solitude, of cracking ice floes, of delighting in small gestures of affection from Sensei – and yes, how much he longs to see him – he dreams of taking care of everyone, but for some reason, those dreams involving everyone would always end off with Phosphophyllite, the one and only gem Antarcticite’s ever had the misfortune to get to know personally and – “Take care of winter for me.”
When Antarcticite crawls into Jade’s futon, Jade only wraps his arm loosely around him.
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8
“Hi!” Diamond’s smile is blinding, except she’s no longer diamond.
From where he’s sitting in the shade (he never could quite rid himself of the habit of avoiding melting), Diamond is physically bright still as she leans over him, catching beams of light with her dark, glossy locks. She extends a hand, all bright smiles and long dress fluttering behind her.
“I’m Dai, Hinata Dai! Would you like to be friends?”
Antarcticite stares for the longest while, unable to quite process.
“…w-what do you say?” Dai – Diamond – Dai shifts, flustered under his stare.
“I don’t mind.” He says, because honestly, if this Diamond is anyone like the one he’s observed, she’s likely to stay either ways. Antarcticite extends his hand. Grabs hers and shakes it slightly. “Just out of curiosity, have you washed your hands from playing with sand? We’re supposed to have lunch now.”
“Urgh!”
Somehow, they become friends.
.
9
Jade works a full-time job at a bakery he’s in charge of. He also works part-time as a writer, but if he doesn’t want anyone knowing he writes cheesy romance novels, Antarcticite doesn’t spill it whenever he goes over to help out.
“Ango-kun is so smart,” Zircon smiles indulgent. “Even though my brother’s your age, we still fear having him anywhere around scissors.”
Eyes not straying from the dough, Antarcticite huffs and kneads it.
“If only you could transfer some of your smarts over to my little one, how good it’ll be~” Zircon sighs. It’s fascinating, how his hands don’t pause even as his lips move in constant chatter that’s faintly reminiscent of Phosphophyllite. “At least if you do, then maybe he’ll finally stop ruining my games, beating me up, and eating my homework-”
“You’re good at blaming others for your faults, I’ll give you that.” Jade narrows his eyes.
“Have you even considered that he might be doing that for your own good?” Antarcticite finally questions. “I won’t be surprised if you discriminate and play games at home.”
“How do you know that?!”
“It’s because we both have hopeless older guardians. That’s why I understand.”
“Right – wait. What’s that supposed to mean, Fuyuhiko?!” Jade asks, offended.
“Hah! Serves you right, Boss!”
“Overtime tonight, Zero.”
“That’s misuse of power! Don’t pretend you can’t hear me, Boss! Hey, Jayden! Heeeey! Stupid Manager!”
What a bunch of kids. Antarcticite sighs.
.
10
Nothing ever changes.
Antarcticite spots a kitty cat and bends down. He waits, watching the animal stalk forward on wary paws and after multiple sniffs, finally bend down to accept the catnip he spent his extra pocket money on. Absently, as the cat’s whiskers twitch, he wonders if it’s possible for one of them to be reborn as something like this. He wonders if this life is doomed to continue this way, without any meaning in remembering his past life. When he reaches out to touch the creature, he hesitates and pulls his hand back.
“Fuyuhiko, you’ll catch a cold out there!”
Antarcticite turns back. Calls out a soft ‘okay’ to his Uncle’s words.
Looking down at the kitty, and the gently cascading pile of snow, he puts down his umbrella. Shields the creature with it.
He walks away.
.
11
Grade five is troublesome in ways Antarcticite would prefer not to say. Just – Diamond. Boys. Hormones. Urgh. But not him. That much, he’s at least willing to divulge.
“I-I don’t understand…” Diamond – Dai, he needs to start getting used to calling them as such – stutters, chin tucked in, hands secured around her bag as she walks beside him. “Why is everyone flipping my dresses? I never did anything to them… Why is everyone so mean?” She seems genuinely oblivious.
“Hah…” Antarcticite sighs, because he’s not good at dealing with this kind of situation. “Why don’t you start wearing tights?”
“But tights are all long and hot… I don’t like them.” Dia – Dai scrunches her nose. “But on a brighter note, listen to this, Ango-kun! Just the other day, when one of the boys tried to flip my skirt, there’s another boy who stopped them! He was so cool… just like a hero!” She giggles, all bubbly and pink cheeks.
“I see.” Antarcticite would rather not get involved. “Good for you.”
“Do you think I should try talking to him?” Dai presses her fingers together. “He was so sweet – not to mention, I should do something to show my appreciation for him!”
Antarcticite shrinks away at the sparkly eyes directed at him. Even he knows of the Diamond-Bortz situation, but if Dai falls for another boy, who’s he to run interference, right? Following that line of logic, he shrugs, pulling back his usual impassiveness in face with Dai’s overenthusiasm.
“Why don’t you just do what you think is right?” He thinks of what to cook for dinner. “Say, between curry and chicken soup, which do you think sounds better?”
.
“Listen to this, Ango-kuuun… Just the other day, my younger brother came up to me for love advice-”
“I’m not in a relationship, Zero. Shouldn’t you have more experience than me?”
“…Jayden-oyabun!”
“I’m not married, brat. A-And besides, what makes you think I’d have any more experience than you do?” Jade averts his eyes and avoids the pointed look Antarcticite shoots him.
.
12
Antarcticite is twelve when he first meets Watermelon and Hemimorphite, one a cheery thing bouncing in the heart of a salon, the other dressed in a brown cloak, with long fringe trailing down over her shoulders. Antarcticite hadn’t realized at that point when Hemimorphite steps in, umbrella drenched and sat aside. He looks up only when Watermelon bounces away – and realizes, looking at his reflection in the mirror.
“This-” The words won’t come.
“What’s wrong? Don’t like the haircut?” Jade lifts a brow by his side.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just-” Just…what?
Watermelon flings herself on a smiling Hemimorphite. Their pairing apparently survived the gender and the storm of hormones – Antarcticite still isn’t sure what to think of the differences between males and females – just –
Watermelon glances back at him, and winks.
When she makes an effort to offer her name card to him, and not Jade, Antarcticite takes it grimly, ignoring the stutter of his heart at the realization that somebody remembers.
“You’re not alone.” Watermelon replies to his query that night, at that point more an official request for confirmation than anything else. Antarcticite feels numb, standing in the middle of the hallway with the phone pressed to his ears. “Hemimor is here as well, Antarc! Here, here! You wanna talk to her as well?” A series of shuffling follows over the phone, a battle fought teasingly between two partners with their supposedly usual antics.
Antarcticite slumps and wonders how it’s possible for fluid to blur his vision, even when he’s not antarcticite any longer.
.
Nobody really understands.
Nobody understands, but that’s alright.
Antarcticite continues his days of school, coupled with a part-time job of bread-making thereafter. He has his Uncle, his friend, his …what do you even-call Zircon? And he has someone who remembers alongside him in this world. That’s more than fine.
He meets up with them as soon as he has time.
“This is like a three way date.” Melon ponders in the midst of their meeting. She giggles, clasping hands to her lips. “With Antarc as the man of the relationship!” She punches her fist in the air. “Hell yeah! Threesomes, banzai!”
“You’re making a scene.”
“What are threesomes?” Antarcticite questions.
“Something you would be better off not looking up.” Hermimor answers. She smiles. “So, besides asking about how we’ve been and how we’ve been getting by, is there anything else you wanted to ask?” Her face, alongside Melon’s, is expectant.
Antarcticite wonders how many years passed before they shattered, like he did.
“…I…” He looks down at the coffee. “I-… I want to know how Sensei was after I was taken.”
Was he sad? No doubt he was. Did he grieve? …In the solitude of winter, he most certainly did. Antarcticite has stayed long enough by his side to accidentally stumble upon Sensei visiting the remains of stolen gems when he’s supposed to be out on duty.
“…No, actually, don’t answer that.”
There’s no meaning to answering a useless question.
Antarcticite already knows how Sensei reacted. He knows how the others reacted too, because those fleeting meetings between winter, spring, and autumn are never enough to bond deep enough to mourn for long. Not to mention, the gems who took winter duty before he was deemed sufficiently strong were already long gone. All that remains of his regrets is-
“How did Phosphophyllite react?” His hand curl around the mug.
That’s the only thing he’s worried about.
For a while, silence replies.
Antarcticite looks up, and his heart plummets at the faces they’re making.
“…Antarc,” Melon reaches over the table to place a hand on his. Antarcticite’s frozen by the show of comfort. It’s definitely bad news. Her brows are furrowed in ways that don’t suit what he’s seen of her. “Just know that this isn’t your fault. Nothing is.” Which means someone must have blamed him at some point. He would do so at some point. And the only thing he could blame himself for is if something happens, to the gems, to Sensei, to Phosphophyllite.
“…What happened?” His voice cracks around the words.
The cold of winter suddenly seems chilling outside.
Melon and Hemimor exchange worried looks. Melon adjusts her seat entirely to move next to him, arm wrapped securely around his shoulder.
“…A revolt.” His eyes flashes to Hermimor. Her face is mercifully blank. She sighs and stirs her coffee with black gloved hands. “But let’s start all the way from the beginning… weeks after you were stolen.”
.
“Welcome home!” Jade smiles.
“…yeah. I’m home.” He replies. “I already ate outside just now, so…” Uh. Jade’s smile is fading. His Uncle’s definitely noticing, and – A hand rests on his head.
“I’ll wrap it for you, so just heat it up if you feel like eating in the middle of the night.” Jade smiles, brows furrowed in understanding. “Rest well, Fuyuhiko. All of us need it at one point or another.”
“…thank you…”
The bed feels stabilizing when he’s back in his room.
The words encircling his mind still feel like some sort of dream even now. ‘Changed’, ‘partnered’, ‘Ghost’, ‘lost their head’, ‘replaced with Lapis’… ‘Plotted to go to moon’, ‘convinced some to go along’, ‘returned in the midst of war to plot with Sensei’… ‘both are lost in gaining peace’… Antarcticite buries his face in the sheets. He doesn’t get it. All that was done by Phosphophyllite? That bumbling fool who was trying to be strong the last he saw them? That’s laughable, almost, if this isn’t so serious. How did that…even happen? Why? How had he even changed so much?
“Some part of Phos was just lost after you were taken, Antarc. It’s not an accusation, but… Phos was no longer Phos when we woke up that spring.”
[“Though it cannot be done, I wish their arms are as powerful as their legs.”]
“The agate took away their memories. The gold sunk in and changed them inside out. Lapis provide a means for their goals. They were unrecognizable at the end of it.”
[“It’ll work out somehow! Like my legs did.”]
“But Phos was still Phos to the end, even if the important parts changed!” Melon claims. “They did it out of love for us! And…even if Sensei sacrificed himself at the end…he agreed! That Phos was doing it for us!”
[“Even though it was just born too… What a waste.”]
“Even though they loved Sensei too, they cast Sensei aside for us. That must mean something!”
Antarcticite covers his ears with a pillow.
He wishes he hadn’t heard anything.
[“I don’t want Sensei to get lonely, so take care of winter for me.”]
Why…had he said that? Why…didn’t Phosphophyllite listen to what he said? Why did they have to go and cause pain to Sensei? Sure, it’s good that the gems were able to gain permanent safety from the lunarians. Sure, Sensei won’t ever have to stand in front of that shelf, peering down at salvaged pieces in mourning. But…! ……He loved Sensei, more than anybody, more than Phosphophyllite, more than the gems. …Didn’t it matter what his feelings on the matter were? Even just a bit?
Antarcticite closes his eyes and decides he can’t deal with this anymore.
He needs a bath, and sleep.
.
He wakes up in the middle of the night, worn, and decides.
He’ll find out Phosphophyllite someday, and he’ll give them a good punch in the face for it.
.
13
Antarcticite pauses when he looks up from his desk. Just in time, to see the smiling teacher gazing at all of them.
“Good morning.” Euclase says, as gentle-sounding as always.
Antarcticite barely remembers to follow the chorus of ‘good mornings’ that goes through the classroom. Beside him, a bubbly Dai’s overenthusiastic tone is enough to hide his too long pause and quick murmur to catch up. Antarcticite remains staring, wondering if this is some sort of prank, or if she even remembers.
“Please take a seat,” Euclase beams, picking up chalk. “As you already know, I’ll be your homeroom teacher for the next three years. My name is Yukiyama Ao. My hobby is playing piano, my dream is to have a family of my own, and my age is a secret.”
Giggles burst out through the class.
Antarcticite hides a smile behind his palm despite the crinkle of his brows.
Does she remember? It’s refreshing in a way, to wonder if someone remembers something about this life, rather than the last.
“For now, let’s start with introductions, shall we? Names, hobby, dreams, and past school. We’ll go, starting with you –”
Antarcticite still doesn’t know if Yukiyama-Sensei – Euc – still remembers months later, but when he enters the teachers’ office to deliver a bunch of documents, he bumps into the teacher in question.
“Ah, good afternoon, Ango-kun. Delivering documents for the class committee?” Euc smiles.
“We completed the plans for the school festival. Please look through them and get back to us if there are any problems.”
“Always so serious. I will. Thank you.” Hands flipping through the calendar, Euc’s smile is especially soft as she peers down at a marked date on the page. “It’ll soon be Mothers’ Day.” She comments wryly. “Have you had any plans on how to celebrate it?”
“I don’t have a mother. …But my guardian is quite a mother hen, so I might be celebrating him still.” Jade would burst out blushing and screeching if he hears.
“Oh my~ Your guardian must be quite loved.” Euc giggles.
“He tried his best to be both a mother and a father to me since a young age, so it’s only natural.” Antarcticite states blandly, a fond gaze down at the calendar betraying his prided professionalism. “If you don’t mind me asking, what flowers do you think would be appropriate for Mothers’ day?” A side glance cast at the educator is filled with unspoken meanings.
“Hm…” Euc hums thoughtfully, eyes closed. “Lilies, perhaps? In the flower language, it symbolises humility and devotion. It goes well with roses, which traditionally can be gifted to any beloved on almost all occasions.”
“I see.” Lilies, it will be. Antarcticite smiles. “Thank you for your suggestion, Yukiyama-Sensei.”
“Hm? Not at all, Ango-kun. I’m sure your guardian will be happy with whatever you give him.”
At the end of the school year, when Antarcticite looks back, he’ll still be lost on whether Yukiyama truly remembers him as the kid in front of the flower shop. In the end though, it doesn’t really matter. Yukiyama is Yukiyama, and the person standing before him in class is not a ghost of the past. All he has to focus on is the present.
…He wonders if he’ll still be able to say that when he meets Phosphophyllite.
.
14
“…Should I be disturbed by this?” Antarcticite ponders, staring down at the streaks of black and red on a previously clean sketchbook.
Dai covers her face with her palms.
“I-It can’t be helped! H-He’s just too cool! Even whilst beating up those delinquents, that person… He was just so cool, the inspiration couldn’t help but burst out like this!” She squeals, turning side to side in a painful-looking motion, hugging herself desperately.
“…In the form of blood, guts, and gore.”
Antarcticite closes the sketchbook. He doesn’t think he can bear to continue looking any further.
“He’s the coolest when he is fighting.” Dai suddenly states, tension dropping to near nil. Antarcticite blinks slowly at her hollow-looking eyes and the black ink pen still in her grasp, and slowly inches back from her.
“…Is that so.”
“He. Is.”
“Okay.” He fears for her future, but okay. “Just run, if this guy lays his eyes on you. I have no desire to wake up to your guts splattered across newspaper, with any newspaper headlines saying ‘girl killed whilst stalking’.” If that happens, he might just end up stalking her mysterious crush himself. You know, just for revenge.
“Heheh~ Don’t be silly, Fuyuhiko! He’s a sweet person in and out!”
The sketchbook begs to differ.
“Okay.”
.
“…I really don’t like these teens with their rampant hormones.” Zero – Zircon – sighs, slumping over. “One moment, he’s all up to kicking my ass for something I said; then the next, he’s beet red, looking down at his phone, and then demanding love advice from me. What can I even say to that…?”
“Still, you’ve got to be pretty pathetic to be beaten up by your younger brother.” Antarcticite states.
“He’s – different. He beats up all the delinquents in town, claims to protect the peace! …or something like that, like those stupid kid shows I used to force him to watch. Now, I’m just really regretting everything I did.” Zero sniffles.
Antarcticite pauses.
…That sounds eeriely familiar now.
“I expected his crush to make him better. She’s all sweet and cute and fluffy-looking. They say all men would change with their wives. But just the other day, when that girl came over, I secretly peeked in when delivering tea to his room. She was showing him this scary-looking thing in her art book whilst smiling. And he was blushing, like a sweet little tomato – till he sees me anyway. Nothing’s sweet about what happened after. It’s…” Zero slumps over, dropping his head in his hands. “…all over now, isn’t it?”
“Now, now.” Antarcticite pats his back.
“…Why’re you the one getting pale-faced?”
“I think I can somewhat understand what you’re facing.”
A delinquent who claims to protect peace; someone who Dai’s obsessively protective over. Antarcticite wonders why he never caught the hints till now.
.
15
“-from what we could see, he clearly remembers. And it’s such a coincidence! For us to run into their group while we’re both travelling-”
The door clicks.
Antarcticite jumps…and stares, when Jayden enters with a smiling Yukiyama behind him. Her smile freezes on her face. Antarcticite wonders what situation has just stumbled upon him. And on the other side of the phone, Melon’s still happily rambling on, oblivious to the fact that something quite unlikely is occurring here. Jade beams.
“Ah, perfect, Fuyuhiko. I was thinking about introducing you to this lady I’ve been dating for quite a while-”
“Let’s take a break from our relationship for now.” Euc smiles.
“-This is Yukiyama-san. She’s happy to see you too – Wait, wha-?!”
Antarcticite facepalms.
“I’ll talk to you later.” He sits the phone back in its stand.
They are arguing.
“-An immoral relationship with a student’s parent is not ideal for a healthy home environment. Not to mention, I would prefer not to be involved in any scandals that could complicate things. Career and relationship wise.”
“That’s… true… But-!”
“It’s just for a year till Ango-kun graduates. It’s not like we’ll never get back together. Until then, let’s just take a break. Ah, Ango-kun, you have my apologies for interrupting your phone call.” Euclase smiles, brows furrowed.
“Not at all.” He shakes his head.
“…Okay.” Jade slumps. Apparently, the three seconds following the end of Euc’s reasoning was enough a time for him to make his decision. Antarcticite looks between them and decides he wants nothing to do with this, even if he sorely wants to comment on how whipped Jade is. He walks away to get some cookies out for their guest.
.
16
“I’ve been thinking.” Dai starts, fingers fumbling.
“Yes?” Antarcticite turns, in unison with Bortz.
“It’s kind of silly, but… why don’t we start calling each other nicknames? You know, just as proof of our closeness?” Dai smiles timidly. It’s unlike her to act this way. Antarcticite passes it off as shyness due to these two’s official status now and continues munching his way through his bun.
“If this is a couple’s thing, I want none of it.” He states.
“I don’t get it.” Bortz throws in as well, perplexed.
“She means ‘dear’, ‘honey’, ‘love’ and endearments like that, Botan.” Which is sickening, considering he’s hearing it on a near daily basis at home recently. “She wants to do that with you, sweetie.”
“Oh.” Bortz reddens. “Oh.”
“I-I-It’s not like that!” Dai flushes, waving her arms around exaggeratedly. “I-I was just thinking of nicknames for our group of friends. T-Things like gem names, or something like that. I wasn’t thinking of that!” She gasps at Bortz’s passive, clearly depressed look. “But we can do it if you like, dear! In fact, let’s do it, please?”
Antarcticite stiffens mid-chew. Dai’s still trying to appease Bortz.
…Did she just say ‘gem names’?
.
“I don’t get how you bore with it for so long. I really can’t.” Dai weeps.
Antarcticite holds the cellphone between his shoulder and ear as he continues working on the next problem.
“It felt like I’ve been waddling in mud for so long, I just blinked one day and remembered. Then, I looked all around me, and I see you and I see Bortz, and I thought – I thought none of you remembered. I thought I was all alone in this world a-and – even though I hated Bortz so much, wanted so much to be free from him – I want him here with us too so much…”
“But he might be, some day.”
Nobody knew when they start remembering. Just that if they do, they do. If they don’t… then well, they just live in peace forever.
“I know, but even so! Even so, I wanted him to be here so I could apologize. I hated him so, so much I left him behind… but even then, some part of me still loved him whilst I was on the moon. I couldn’t forget him, no matter how much thinking of him tormented me. Couldn’t stop loving him, even when he broke me down for leaving with Phos-” Dai sniffles. Antarcticite’s hand has stopped moving, unable to compute with the words he’s hearing.
“You…” …left the moon with Phosphophyllite? He wants to say.
Listening to her pitiful weeping though, Antarcticite couldn’t bring himself to say those words. He can’t do that, not with the one friend he has who’s kind enough to approach him.
“…I loved him, Antarc.” She sobs. “I loved him so much. Yet, why? Why did I hate him so much back then? In this body – in this life – I can’t understand why I miss that life, even though I used to think being bonded to him was the worst thing ever. Why? ...does it feel as if something’s missing when he’s not there as – my brother?”
Antarcticite puts his pen down. He wonders, what he should say to this, if this is similar to what he will feel for Phosphophyllite one day.
“…Does this – ever get better?” Dai – Diamond – sobs.
“I can’t say it does.” Antarcticite replies, brushing his hand over the crisp paper. “But… it’s all up to you.”
He woke up to a wintery day, a shattered family, and a familiar stranger – Uncle Jayden – Jade? – who needed him to survive back then. That’s how he continued the routine, even whilst knowing that something distinctly important has ended back there – that here is a new start that could possibly require leaving that something behind. He did it, because he knew he was needed; still is needed, for Jade to live. Uncle Jayden doesn’t have anyone beyond him.
That’s why he was able to stay strong even if time wears him down and breaks him down years later.
This Diamond though…does she have anyone like that?
“It’s…tough.” Dai sniffles. “Painful. Difficult. I don’t think I can continue living on like this, going to see him tomorrow – like before.”
“They are the same, but not.” Antarcticite repeats words Melon told him over the phone. He thinks of Jade, Euc, Zircon, and Bortz. “They are strangers, but not; They are still family. If we can’t leave them alone, all we can do is to watch over them and live. Live, to the fullest this time round.”
Dai sniffles. And giggles. And laughs. It’s a watery sound.
“That’s a wise saying.”
Silence then falls for the longest time.
“…thank you, Antarc.”
“Thank me by solving question eleven of our math homework.” He responds curtly. “I’ve been staring at the same page for the past hour because of you.”
“Okay, okay!” Dai giggles. The sound of flipping pages sound into the phone for the next couple seconds. “Here you go, best friend. I’ll mail you my answers now. …thanks for accepting my friendship offer years ago. I’m so glad you’re here.” She hangs up, leaving Antarcticite frozen to his seat, mind short circuited from that unexpected thanks. He stares down at the received mail and drops his face to his palms, wondering how he’s not melting from this.
.
17
“Erm-”
“Here.” Antarc presses the bouquet into their hands. Jayden stops, eyes wide, whereas Yukimura’s lips part in surprise. “I couldn’t earn enough money to buy two, so you’ll both have to settle for one together.” Roses and lilies, the way they like it. “Happy mothers’ and fathers’ day? Forgive me for not having enough sincerity to get you separate bouquets.”
They stare at him with wide eyes, for the longest moment.
Then, Jayden sniffles. Yukimura shoots him a side glance. Antarcticite inhales sharply.
“…What are you crying for?” He asks, bewildered.
Tears plop down Jayden’s face soundlessly. Yukimura smiles and reaches for tissues, whilst Jayden drops his horrendous face into his palms.
“I’m just-” Jayden sniffles. “-so relieved.” He accepts the tissues and blow into one noisily.
“…In an instance, I think I just saw who would be the one wearing the pants in the relationship.”
“My, so it wasn’t obvious from the beginning?” Yukimura giggles and wraps an arm around Jayden’s shoulder. His unsightly Uncle leans into her neck, eyes still watery and red and nose still dripping. “At least Jayden was the one who proposed.” Yukimura beams, pressing a palm to her flushing cheek. Her man turns beet red. “Would you try guessing how it was?”
“Yukimura-”
“No. I think I have quite a good idea already.” He’s read enough of Jayden’s romance novels to tell.
“Fuyuhiko, you-!” Jayden huffs. And smiles, pulling him into a hug. Antarcticite stifles indignant protests at the hand messing up his hair. Jayden sighs. “I’m so glad you’re my son, you dishevelled looking brat.” Jayden laughs. Antarcticite can’t see his face at all, but felt the tears stinging his eyes. “I’m so glad you’re with me.”
Antarcticite lowers his head, and thinks this life is worth living afterall.
“…whatever makes you happy, Old Man.”
.
18
“I’ve been thinking of a road trip.” Antarcticite starts.
“Whaa-?” Diamond stares with wide eyes, strawberry milk puffing up her cheeks.
“When we graduate. Jayden and Yukimura will be going on their honeymoon then. But…during their holiday, I want to go on a road trip.” He turns back to them, away from the sakura petals dancing outside their classroom. “I have someone I need to find.” And punch the life out of, he doesn’t say. Diamond stares, and giggles.
“That’s like you.”
“Call me if you have someone you need to beat the crap out of.” Bortz adds, folding his arms. “I’ll should be able to get you out of any nasty situation so long as you’re within five prefectures of here.”
“That’s a small range.” Antarcticite comments.
“It’s big enough for one individual.”
“I’ll be touring the whole of Japan.”
“Then, why don’t I come along with you and your little trip? You’ll be perfectly safe throughout your trip.” Bortz grits out, leaning in.
“Heheh~ That’s sweet of you, Bortz!” Diamond giggles, hooking her arm with her boyfriend’s. “If that’s the case, then should I come along? We’ll need to rent a van or a car. Or, should we try getting to our destination by train? That has a sense of romance in itself, doesn’t it?!”
.
19
Antarcticite is 1020 when he leaves Tokyo.
Ango Fuyuhiko is 19 when he leaves Tokyo.
Smiling at his pathetic Uncle crying in his arms and waving goodbye to his ‘nasty brat’ – how embarrassing – Antarcticite steps into the car parked outside his house, accompanied by two friends and one half-stranger, half-friend. Diamond is excitedly chatting Bortz’s ears out. Hemimor glances side-ways at him, a ghost of a smile on her lips.
“Ready?” She murmurs.
Antarcticite glances out the rear window, where Euclase pats Jade, and nods.
“Let’s go.”