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Fretting in the DethBus were Bloodtide, a previously unknown Metal Band that Dethklok had 'taken under their flippers' and were mentoring; tonight's concert would be the first one as the support act on a world tour, and not three cover tracks played to a back-alley Metal Bar. The talented youngsters were absolutely shitting bricks with only twelve hours to go until showtime.
Skwisgaar was still painstakingly putting the two guitarists through their paces. (As both the guitarists were Vegetarian, the Swede had been respectful enough to not soak the pair in pig blood during their first day at Mordhaus - he had drenched them in a bucket of tomato sauce instead). Toki, pitying the poor, frazzled things as their fingers started to bleed over the frets, was purposely playing his guitar off-key to distract the blonde, winking in a conspirational way as the insults were once-again trained on him.
"Stoppings rights now wit yous atrocities playing! You will beings a bad influence on mine manatees, Toki!"
"I ams bad influences? Hows can you even says dat? You offerings to takes dem to an orgy yesterdays!" Toki sneered, "And you nots evens invitings me to be goings along!"
"Little dildos did nots evens go - sayings dey wantings to rests befores travellings to dis first gig." Skwisgaar shook his head sadly.
"Dids you explains dat dey can rests *after* dey has you-know-whats da goils, so dey can havings *both* sexes and rests?"
"'Manatees'?" the support act's lead guitarist whispered.
"I think he means 'mentees', but I'll be a 'manatee' if he'll stop yelling at me. I'm going to need some of that skin in a bottle stuff." the support rhythm breathed back, looking at his blood-stained fingers; the argument continued around them.
"Pfft, I bets you fucks as dildos as you plays guitar, Tokis, dere no points I takings you to da orgy anyways!"
"I never havings any complains!" Toki sneered, continuing to play the chords exactly one semi-tone below where they should be; causing Skwisgaar to grind his teeth as he refused to match the Norwegian, the sound clashing horrendously between them.
"He's being really mean." Their bassist said, looking up from the thick history text book Murderface had him studying (which contained absolutely nothing to do with playing bass).
"Don't worry kid. at thish point in hish life, Toki can handle Skhwisgaar's perfectionishm, criticishm and general douchebagnesh. Water off a ducksh backsh." Murderface reassured, indicating another paragraph that he wanted to discuss with the historically-challenged youngster. The kid could write symphonies for whole orchestras just fine, but he sadly didn't have the penis for bass, there was nothing Murderface could do to help him in that department.
"Swans. Water ahff ah swan's back. So much better then ducks, dood!." Pickles added from where he wallowed in the hot tub.
Baffled at the events taking place outside the tour bus, Bloodtide's drummer turned to Dethklok: "Erm... sirs, your roadies are... well, they're... singing. And calling for back-up?" The entire support band went to their nearest window and opened it.
"Yeaaaah, they do thet, dood, keeps 'em happy; the songs are easy enough tah keep ehp with as our hangovers or jetlag wears ahf - kinda fun tah join in." Pickes clarified, sipping from his beer bottle and getting out of the water. He dried quickly and pulled on his underpants and jeans - taking up his place behind the smaller practice kit he travelled with on the bus, flicking on the microphones that surrounded it.
"Oh ja, dey gots a whole lots of songs dats dey singings whiles dey sets up da concerts." Toki added, conceding the pitch-fight with a littl bow of his head;plugging his, Murderface's and Skwisgaar's lines into the amplifiers that were built into the exterior of the tour bus. Pickles and Nathan slipped the headset microphones on and checked for feedback. There was a cheer from the Gears outside, and the red-head counted everyone in
"We built this concert,
We built this concert for De-eth-klok.
We built this concert,
We built this concert for Deth-kloooooooooook."
"The public don't know us, will never see a face.
The fans don't care as long as its all in place.
Snipers on the high ground, preparing for a riot.
The Red Cross on standby, to clean up the night."
"Cranes hoist the speaker towers,
Technicians ready to go.
Now you remember, Gears built this concert...
We built this concert for Dethklok."
"We built this concert,
We built this concert for Dethklok.
We built this concert,
We built this concert for Dethklok."
"Offdenson always master of corporation games
Dethklok with multi-platinum albums to their name.
We have come to work here, setting up the stage.
They call us irresponsible, health and safety off the page."
"Confirmed the heli flightpath,
Pyrotechnics ready to blow.
Now you remember, Gears built this concert...
We built this concert for Dethklok."
"We built this concert,
We built this concert for Dethklok.
We built this concert,
We built this concert for Dethklok."
"Nathan Explosion's vocals - the most brutal.
We've got Pickles the drummer, oh-oh-oh-ohh-oh-oh, keeping up the beat.
William Murderface, awesome on his bass,
Skwisgaar and Toki: the two fastest guitars!
"Don't tell us our duty,
We Gears know the play!
Our place in the machine
We fear not our mortality!"
The support group were astounded that Charles Offdensen (the man who was so straight-laced that they were convinced the stick up his ass would need to be removed with an oxyacetylene torch), picked up a his own microphone from his desk and began to join in with a wide grin:
"I'm looking out of the window here, and its a gorgeous sunny Saturday afternoon; but I'm just not seeing enough progress made with set up".
"Now you remember, remember..."
"I don't care how tired you are, I'm not impressed. Until we're ready for the sound check, none of you are getting food or sleep"
Offdensen placed the mic. back down on his desk and returned his attention back to his laptop.
"We have fifteen miles of cables,
Merchandise ready to sell.
Now you remember, Gears built this concert...
We built this concert for Dethklok."
"We built this concert,
We built this concert for Dethklok.
We built this concert,
We built this concert for Dethklok."
"We built this concert, oohooooohooooh,
We built this concert for Dethklok.
We built this concert,
We built this concert for Dethklo-oooooook."
"We built, we built, this concert, yeah,
We built, we built, this concert.
We built, we built, this concert, yeah,
We built, we built, this concert.
We built, we built, this concert, yeah,
We built, we built, this concert.
"When we make it big... can we have roadies that do this?" Bloodtide's vocalist said, gobsmacked.
"Just wait for them to start on their version of 'Hey Jude' - brings tears to my eyes every single time. I'm so proud - but don't ever tell them that, praise makes them sloppy. You should never be satisfied with your work." Charles sniffled, digging a pristine white cotton handkerchief from his suit pocket.