Chapter Text
Everywhere Annie went, she saw Mikasa. She saw Mikasa in the falling leaves turned red and orange and yellow, in the red scarves and coats on passing strangers, in dark-haired girls on the street whose faces she never caught a glimpse of, in the music on her iPod. She saw Mikasa in her own reflection, in the things she had stolen months ago and forgotten whose they really were.
She was everywhere, and it was more painful than anything Annie had ever experienced.
And she hated it.
What kind of loser couldn’t take their eyes off of simple things that reminded her of Mikasa, just in hopes she could see her again?
It was fucking pathetic, and she needed to stop.
She was going to graduate from high school and go to college, somewhere far far away from her father. That was her only goal.
(Some part of her suggested going back to Shiganshina, once school was over. Find Mikasa, explain, and live happily ever after. She ignored that thought.)
Mikasa probably hated her now.
What kind of girlfriend dumps the only person she’d ever loved out of the blue and leaves?
A really, really shitty one, that’s who.
She walked to the bus stop alone, earbuds blasting music on shuffle, and well, that didn’t work out for her.
“Baby seasons change but people don’t and I’ll always be waiting in the back room, I'm boring but overcompensate with headlines and flash, flash, flash photography.. Now don’t pretend you ever forgot about me-“
No.
“Cross my heart and hope to die, burn my lungs and curse my eyes, I've lost control and I don't want it back-“
No.
“Well, maybe I'm a crook for stealing your heart away, yeah, maybe I'm a crook for not caring for it-“
No.
Fuck this.
Carefully keeping her expression blank, she switched over to her collection of soundtracks, trying to lose herself in the music without words.
But this was from a movie she had watched with Mikasa, and fond memories of curling up together on the couch and idly kissing when they were bored came flooding back. Annie sighed, switching once more, to podcasts, letting a deep voice talking about impossible things drive all her thoughts away, trying really hard not to burst into tears.
She was finally at the bus stop by then, standing alone on the corner, everyone else there avoiding her.
The tiny blonde had punched a dude in the face for trying to sit with her on her first day.
You would avoid her too.
But one girl walked over to her and stared at her expectantly, waiting for her to take out an earbud before speaking.
“You look like you’re about to cry. Are you okay?”
Annie looked at her, blue eyes cold, and shrugged.
“I’m fine. Thank you.”
She smiled and held out her hand, easy smile on her face.
“I’m Hitch. Nice to meet you, we don’t get very many new kids in this part of town. Obviously.”
She grudgingly shook it, not having the heart to shove her away.
(But that’s really what got her into trouble in the first place, not having the heart.)
“Annie. I’m not surprised, really. I only moved here-”
She coughed, cutting herself off, glad to see the bus coming down the street. She nodded to it, and they turned, grabbing their backpacks, and she managed to give Hitch a small smile as they got on the bus.
Annie just wanted to get through this day, this week, this year without any major disturbances. Get up, go to school, do the bare minimum of work possible, don’t piss off Dad. Just survive. That was all.
Life had lost its shine without Mikasa.
Just because she could live without her didn’t mean she wanted to.
--
“Everybody, put up your hands, say: ‘I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love’-“
Loud music woke Mikasa, and slowly realizing what the song was, she rolled out of bed, fury in her dark eyes, throwing open her door and storming into Eren’s room.
“Eren, I swear to fucking God, turn your alarm off!”
She slammed down the button on his alarm, cutting the music off, turning to glare at a very sleepy and confused Eren.
“I was about to get it, God, Mikasa, calm down.”
He tossed his pillow at her teasingly, trying to distract her from her anger, but she just stopped it from hitting her, letting it fall to the floor with a soft thump as she walked out, leaving the door open behind her.
She went back inside her room, closing the door and hiding her face in her hands, lyrics echoing.
I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love-
She didn’t wanna think about it, she was going to go to school and act like a normal human being and forget her.
Mikasa pushed herself off the door, going over to the closet and flicking through the various clothing in it, stopping short at a sweatshirt just a little bit too small for her.
Damn. She still had that.
With a heavy sigh, she found a shirt good enough for the day, getting dressed and going through her morning routine like usual.
But it wasn’t like usual, was it?
She wasn’t texting Annie good morning, she wasn’t anticipating seeing her at the bus stop, she wasn’t thinking about hanging out later, she was… Lonely.
It was pathetic.
Everyone went through breakups, you couldn’t expect to stay with one person forever, that was unrealistic and stupid and childish.
But she had really thought they could work.
They had. They did.
But now Mikasa didn’t know.
She missed Annie so badly, so fucking badly, it…
Wow, she needed to stop thinking about it.
--
Mikasa and Annie both went about their days without a smile, so different from days not that long ago, lost in their thoughts of each other, but there was no way they could know that. Too far away from each other, too emotionally distant to send a simple text, and it was killing them.