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Studying theories of personalities is something Jihoon never thought he’ll do. He never wanted to know about Freud and his 5 psychoanalytic stages. The only thing he’s happy about college is studying with his lifetime bestfriend, Park Woojin.
“I will group you into three members per group.” the professor announced. Jihoon is already praying that he’ll be groupmates with Woojin. There will be ten groups and there are three groups left. “Park Jihoon, Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo you are group number 8” much to Jihoon’s disappointment he’s not groupmates with Woojin.
“So groupies with your boyfie, you happy?” Woojin teased Jihoon as the latter rolled his eyes. “Fuck you too, bitch!” Jihoon is in a relationship with Daniel for almost a year now because of the latter’s perseverance. But Jihoon loves Woojin ever since his earliest memory.
Jihoon never had the courage to confess because he’s afraid of how Woojin will react. He’s afraid that his feelings might cause their friendship to be ruined. Woojin is not the type to be tied to one person only. He’s a free spirit who do flings and one night stands around. Despite all this, Jihoon still loves his bestfriend. Maybe Woojin’s carefree personality is what made Jihoon fall inlove with him.
“I’ll meet you next time class. Goodbye.” their professor said as Seongwoo and Daniel approached Jihoon. “Want to do this today? Since we don’t have anything to do yet.” Seongwoo said while Daniel nod his head which left Jihoon with no choice but to agree. “Okay.”
On their way to the library, Daniel never let go of Jihoon’s hands. He’s uncomfortable but he pity the person so much. Despite being uncofortable with Daniel, Jihoon loves his company. He loves how Daniel will laugh at small silly things. His eye smile that makes Jihoon smile too. Jihoon is at the top of their class, a dean’s lister. Their connection started when Jihoon approached Daniel to help him with his math. Daniel admired him since Jihoon helped him passed college algebra. He fell inlove with this cute guy.
After they finished their groupwork, Daniel accompanied Jihoon on the way to his apartment. “We’re here! Is Woojin home?” Daniel asked Jihoon.
“No, he’s with groupmates too. Anyway, thanks for walking me home. Bye!” Jihoon waived as he walked towards the door, Daniel pulled him into a kiss. There’s one thing that Jihoon liked about Daniel and that is he’s a good kisser. Jihoon enjoys how Daniel invades his mouth with his tongue. Jihoon pulled away to peck Daniel’s lips, “Bye! Go home already!”
Being in a relationship with Daniel is a very exhausting thing for Jihoon but he’s hoping that maybe he can forget about his feelings with Woojin if he’s dating Daniel. Daniel’s a catch. He’s a gentleman, a very good man. He’ll treat you like his mom and Jihoon loves that.
This day is really stressed the shit out of him. He’s so stressed that he looked for Woojin’s stash and smoked one. He sat on the sofa as he watched the latest episode from his favorite drama.
“Who fucking allowed you to smoke weed inside this apartment? I told you to smoke outside!” Woojin asked as he arrived to a high Jihoon on the couch. “Sorry, I’m really stressed lately.” Jihoon answered as he continued to laugh at the television.
“If you’re like this when you’re with Daniel, then break up with him. I don’t want to see you like this. Why did you even date to that jerk? I know he’s a good dancer but I’m better than him! I don’t like him to be honest, he’s so kind and you like wild guys.” Jihoon stood up to walk to Woojin. He put the joint in Woojin’s mouth, which the latter gladly took. He placed his hands on Woojin’s shoulders, “It is because he’s a good kisser!!!”
Woojin took off the joint from his mouth and blew smoke on Jihoon’s face as he placed the joint in the ashtray. “You know I’m a good kisser too, Jihoon.” Woojin closed the gap between their lips. Jihoon loves it when Woojin kisses him but this never meant anything to the latter. Woojin nibbled on Jihoon’s lower lip asking for entrance. Jihoon opened his mouth allowing Woojin to explore his wet cavern. Jihoon had his hands on Woojin’s hair pushing him to go deeper.
Woojin broke the kiss, “You like that? See I’m better.” Jihoon nodded. “So, will you break up with him?” Jihoon shook his head, “I need to keep him if I want a stable life in the future, Woojin. You know I don’t like this, it’s just my parents. I want to be an actor but they won’t let me so might as well use this to my advantage.”
“Okay...I’m going to a club later, wanna come?” Jihoon shook his head, “No thanks! I don’t want to see you having a fight or fucking someone.” Woojin laughed as he went to his room.
Jihoon loves Woojin so much that he doesn’t know what to do without Woojin. It’s like his life depends on Woojin. The only decision he did not consult with Woojin was when he said yes to Daniel.
“Hoonie, you sure you don’t want to come with me?” Woojin asked Jihoon one last time and the latter still said no. “Okay, I’ll be home tonight don’t worry!”
Jihoon decided to have a drama marathon. He decided to watch Reply 1994 which is a very good drama. He’s on his 6th episode when he felt Woojin opening the door. He waited until Woojin gets in and he’s shocked to see Woojin drunk. “Wow, you’re drunk for the first time in months! What made you drink a lot tonight?”
Woojin approached the lying Jihoon on the couch. “Have sex with me tonight, please?” he did not wait for Jihoon’s answer as he closed the gap between their lips. He’s bit Jihoon’s lower lip for entrance as he slid his tongue inside circling around Jihoon’s mouth. Jihoon would never say no to Woojin, that’s for sure.
Jihoon’s chest rapidly rose and fell. “That was so good Jihoon.” Woojin said as he caressed Jihoon’s undone face. “What made you ask for my ass tonight?” Jihoon asked still panting from the climax he felt. “There’s this guy at the club, his name’s Hyungseob. He’s so fucking cute! I told him to meet me at the back after we did some ass grinding on the dancefloor but that bitch did not show up. Trying to play hard to get when I know he wants my dick. He gave me his number though…”
Jihoon reached for Woojin face as he pulled him again into a rough kiss until they can’t breathe anymore. “Woojin, just...go for him.”
After Jihoon cleaned himself, he went to bed but he can’t sleep. He realized that this is the first time Woojin talked about a guy with a smile on his face. He just felt a hard pang on his chest. He can’t imagine Woojin having a boyfriend. He needs to confess. He made up his mind, he’s breaking up with Daniel.
He stood up and went to Woojin’s room, “Sleeping already?” Jihoon asked. “Uh...no...not...yet…”
“Can I sleep here?” Jihoon asked. Woojin made a room for him to lie down as Jihoon giddily approached his bestfriend.
“Thank you, Hoonie for being always there for me. I love you! Thanks for being my bestfriend!” Woojin said as he hugged Jihoon tightly. Jihoon’s happy.
“Daniel, we need to talk.” Jihoon said as he approached Daniel right after their class ended. “What’s up babe?” Daniel asked while eating his snack.
“I’m breaking up with you, Daniel. I’m sorry, It’s not your fault. It’s just that I’m not happy anymore.” Jihoon said while looking down.
“So you’ve finally figured it out I see? It’s okay, Jihoon. I understand. You were never happy when you’re with me. I’m just really thankful that you gave me a chance to be with you. I’m sorry if I pushed too hard.” Jihoon is crying while smiling because he’s happy that Daniel quickly agreed on him. “But promise me two things, we’ll still be friends and confess to Woojin.”
“What?” Jihoon looked confused as to why Daniel said that he needs to confess to Woojin. “Jihoon, it’s so obvious that you’re in love with your bestfriend! You never looked at me the same way you looked at him and I want you to be really happy!” Jihoon hugged Daniel and he thanked him.
“We’ll still be friends, I promise!” Jihoon said while hugging Daniel. “Be sure to update me with Woojin happenings, okay? And for the last time, can I walk you home?” Jihoon nodded.
It was 10 in the evening when Woojin arrived home. “I bought some beer and soju! Let’s drink! School’s been hard on us lately and I think we deserve this!!!” both are on their sixth beer and third shared soju bottle. Jihoon is still uneasy. Both of them are strong drinkers.
Jihoon reached for Woojin’s face and he kissed him. Woojin was shocked by Jihoon’s sudden attack. “Did you not get a kiss from Daniel today?” Woojin teased.
“Nope! Actually i have something to tell you…” Jihoon said while looking down. “What is it?”, Woojin asked while opening his seventh beer. “I love you, Woojin.” Jihoon said as he made eye contact with Woojin.
“I love you too! You’re my best friend, bitch!” Woojin replied as he ruffled Jihoon’s hair. “No, I mean I love you like romantically, Woojin. When we were kids, I always thought that I just like your company but no I really love you, Woojinie! Don’t you feel the same too?”
“Uhh...Jihoon...I only love you as my bestfriend. You’re like family to me!” Woojin said. He’s clearly rejecting me, Jihoon thought. “Then why did you kiss me back in High School?”
“I told you! I want to practice how to kiss!”
“You can’t just fucking kiss someone, Woojin!”
“But you said, It’s okay with you Jihoon!”
“Yes, it’s okay for me because I love you! I’m willing to give everything to you! I even let you be my first in everything! I thought that you liked me back then that’s why you asked me if it’s okay to kiss. But after that kiss, you never talked about us. I’m still you’re bestfriend but then I thought that if i let you do those things to me, you’ll love me too that you’ll learn to love me.” Jihoon said as he started crying.
“You are all I ever wanted in this polluted world. You make me happy.”
The two were surrounded by silence and it’s fucking killing Jihoon.
“I’m sorry Jihoon if you felt that way. I’m just comfortable with you, always. I’m really really sorry! But I can’t love you the way you want me to. I’m sorry.” Woojin said as he reached for Jihoon’s face to wipe those tears away.
“It’s okay, I kinda expected this to happen. You’ll never love me as a guy, you’ll only love me as your bestfriend. That Hyungseob guy, pursue him. I’ve never seen you so happy talking about a guy. Promise me, take him to the moon for me? Please? ” Jihoon said.
“Promise me one thing, We’re still best friends okay?” Woojin asked as Jihoon nodded. “But I’m moving out! I can’t say no if you asked for a sex.” both laughed. “But before I move out of this apartment, would you do one last thing for me, Woojinie?”
“What is it?”
“Be happy.”
“So how was it?” Daniel asked Jihoon. “I’m moving out, help me look for a place?” Jihoon answered Daniel. “So I guess it did not work out?”
“Yeah, but we’re still friends.”
Daniel nodded. “My roommate just moved out, want to replace him?” Jihoon looked at Daniel, “Is it okay with you?”
“Yeah! You’re my ex-boyfriend and my friend so I’m fine with it. I’ll be over you in a month, just wait!” Jihoon laughed and accepted Daniel’s offer.
Jihoon realized that what he and Woojin have will never workout. They’ll never be a couple even if he’s willing to die just to be Woojin’s boyfriend. But there things that are just not meant to be.
“I’m shocked you’re taking this...li...ghtly…” Daniel said as he saw Jihoon crying beside him. “Never mind. I’m not shocked anymore. Here, take this.” Daniel offered his handkerchief to Jihoon.
“I just realized that no matter what I do for him, he’ll never love me the way I loved him.”