Chapter Text
She wants to get married, she wants it perfect
She wants her grandaddy preaching the service
***
2000
The first time, she was the one to bring it up. She was ten. And although Scott had no interest whatsoever in weddings or love or marriage at the time, she was still Tessa, and he was still Scott, so he listened to her anyway.
“Obviously it’s going to be the best, most beautiful, most perfect wedding of all time. Grandpa will be the one to actually marry us, of course, and it’s going to be right as the sun sets-”
She turned to Scott, only to see that he’s less than enthusiastic about the topic at hand.
“Do you ever think about your wedding?” she asked.
Scott, as any typical twelve-year-old boy would do, rolled his eyes in disgust.
“Ew, no thanks. I’m never getting married.”
Tessa looked at him with wide doe-eyes, disbelief apparent in them.
“Never?”
“Never.”
“Why not?”
“Because girls are gross. I definitely don’t want to spend my whole life living with one.”
The second the words left his mouth, he regretted them. All of a sudden, she seemed very fascinated with the ground.
“Aw, Tess, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said apologetically. “You’re different. You’re the only girl I actually don’t mind being around. You’re…Tessa.”
And even though he was able to get a ghost of a smile out of her, she never brought it up to him again.
***
Yeah, she wants magnolias out in the country
Not too many people, save her daddy some money
Ooh, she got it all planned out
Yeah, I can see it all right now
***
2008
The second time, he was the one to bring it up. He was twenty now, and the idea of marriage a few years down the road didn’t seem so far-fetched anymore.
“T, you ever still think about your dream wedding?”
The two of them were driving back to London for the weekend from Canton. It had been a while since they’d last been home and wanted to surprise their families.
Tessa peered over at him from the passenger seat.
“Do I what?” she asked, surprise laced through her voice.
“You know, when you were ten, you talked about this perfect wedding you had in your mind. You ever think about that still?”
She narrowed her eyes a bit, looking at him suspiciously. “Sometimes. Not too often anymore.
Why?”
He shrugged awkwardly. “No reason. Just a question.”
She pursed her lips, and the two sat in silence for a minute or two.
“I’ve added onto it,” she said quietly.
“What?”
“My dream wedding,” she elaborated. “It’s still the same as what I told you back then, but I’ve added a few things to the list.”
“Like what?”
She sighs. “Oh, I don’t know. I think I’d want the flowers to be simple. Something like daisies, or magnolias. Yeah, magnolias are pretty. You like those, right?”
He nodded. “Yeah, they’re nice.”
She smiled, satisfied with his answer. “I’d still want my grandfather to hold the service. And I think it’d be nice to have it somewhere in the countryside. I wouldn’t want it too big, though. I wouldn’t want my family paying for that.”
At least, that what she told him. What she didn’t mention, what she kept just for herself, stored away in the wishful thinking part of her brain, was that the only way she wanted these things is if they were with Scott.
***
I'll wear my black suit, black tie, hide out in the back
I'll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask
I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees
Yeah, she wanna get married
But she don't wanna marry me
***
2021
Scott stepped out of his car, buttoning his suit while doing so. He and Tessa were supposed to be meeting at the charity gala tonight, and he was nervous out of his mind. He was finally going to do it. He was finally going to tell Tessa how he feels about her. How he’s felt about her for the past who knows how long.
“Scott!”
He whipped around at the sound the familiar voice. And then there she was. Tessa. His Tessa, walking toward him looking nothing less than perfect in an emerald green floor-length halter dress, making her eyes pop even more than they already did.
“Hey, Kiddo! Long time no see,” he said, smiling as she approached him.
She laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck in a loving embrace for the first time in months, and suddenly all was right in the world.
Virtue and Moir, Tessa and Scott, reunited again.
He hugged her back and kissed her cheek, hoping to convey every emotion he felt running through his body. I missed you. I need you. I love you.
She pulled away all too soon, but left her hands resting on his shoulders, getting a better look at him.
“Your hair,” she said. “It’s grown out again.”
He smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, I guess I’ve kind of let myself go the past few months, eh?”
She laughed lightly, shaking her head. “No, no. It looks good.”
Then she leaned toward him until her lips are right by his ear. “Latch always was one of my favorites,” she whispered.
His eyes go wide at that statement, and she pulled back to look at him again, laughing when she sees his expression.
He laughed too, just to go along with her, but he couldn’t help but wonder if there was a hidden meaning behind her words.
“How’ve you been? I mean, I know we talk on the phone almost every day but to actually be able to see you…” she trailed off, but Scott knew what she meant.
“I know,” he said. “It’s just not the same. And I’ve been good, just busy with coaching and all that, nothing out of the usual. How about you?”
Her smile dimmed slightly and she suddenly became very interested in her shoes.
“Actually, I have something-”
“Tessa, babe, they’re starting to sit people,” said a voice Scott had definitely heard before, but couldn’t quite pinpoint.
Finally, Tessa’s eyes snap up to his, and she doesn’t even have to say anything to convey the apology she’s sending him.
The voice approached the two of them, and suddenly Scott realized where he knew him from. His name was Jake Borden, and he remembered when Tessa introduced the two of them about a year ago. They had just started dating, but that was the only time Scott had ever met him, and Tessa never brought him up again, so he figured things fizzled between the two before it ever really started. Apparently, he was wrong. Very, very wrong.
He sent Tessa a questioning look before turning to Jake, sticking his hand out. He may be confused and hurt, but from what he remembers, Jake’s a nice enough guy, and hasn’t done anything purposefully to hurt Scott.
“Hey, man. Scott. You’re Jake, right? I think we met a while back.”
Jake smiled, accepting Scott’s handshake. “Of course, man. I couldn’t forget the other half of the famous Virtue and Moir.”
Scott let out a polite laugh, but only him and Tessa could tell how forced it was.
The was an awkward silence until finally Scott had had enough.
“So, I had no idea you and Tessa were still dating.”
Jake laughed, and Tessa winced, and Scott looked between them, confused.
“Dating?” Jake said. “Try engaged. You didn’t tell him, babe?”
Scott looked at Tessa, and for a fleeting second, he thought he saw pain flash through her eyes, but it was gone and replaced with nothingness as quickly as it had come. She turned to Jake and smiled at him, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“I wanted to wait to tell him in person,” she said easily, although Scott could tell something was off.
Jake smiled easily and leaned down to peck her on the lips, and Scott had to look away.
“Honey, why don’t you find our seats and I’ll be right behind you. I just need to talk to Scott for another minute.”
Jake smiled again, oblivious to the fact that he has now made Scott and Tessa’s reunion extremely awkward and not at all what Scott thought it would be.
“Of course, see you guys in there. Nice to see you again, Scott.”
Scott smiles tightly back at him, watching his retreating figure. As soon as he’s out of sight, he turned back to Tessa, suddenly noticing the engagement ring on her finger, and God how had he not seen it before?
“I’m so sorry, I was going to tell-”
“Don’t be sorry, Tessa. You’re engaged! You should be happy! Congratulations!” He says it with so much enthusiasm and happiness he thinks he deserves and Oscar.
Tessa furrowed her eyebrows. “Really? You’re sure?”
Scott forced a laugh. “Yes, I’m sure. This is a good thing. Marriage, a family, it’s always been one of your many dreams.”
She nodded slowly, agreeing with him, and Scott could feel his heart breaking then and there. They walked inside to the gala together after that, Scott leading her with his hand on her lower back, as always.
And if he noticed her linger by him a bit longer than usual before going to find her seat and her fiancée, he didn’t say anything.
And if she noticed him walking off to the balcony every now and then to sneak in a shot of whiskey, she didn’t say anything either.
***
I remember the night when I almost kissed her
Yeah, I kinda freaked out, we'd been friends for forever
And I always wondered if she felt the same way
When I got the invite, I knew it was too late
***
Scott lay in bed that night, trying to pinpoint exactly where it all went wrong. Was there something he could have done? Could he have prevented this? Could he and Tessa be together and happy right now? Or were they always intended for this? For her to find happiness, but in that, for him to be destined for heartbreak. He supposed it was better than the other way around.
Through this thought process, his mind kept travelling back to one specific moment. That moment. The one that could have had the power to prevent this current reality he was living from happening.
It was in between Vancouver and Sochi and also, in between Scott’s girlfriends. He remembers that they were having a particularly good practice that day. They were nailing their twizzles, perfecting all their lifts, and were just so in tune with their programs, with the music, with each other, that they didn’t want their practice to end. Unfortunately, it had to, and Marina eventually kicked them out because they “shouldn’t overwork themselves,” and “it was Meryl and Charlie’s turn to practice.”
Scott just rolled his eyes, looked at Tessa and smirked. “Want to continue this elsewhere?”
Tessa laughed and nodded. “I’d love nothing more.”
So they did. They went to a public rink, and the two of them had a mutual understanding that today was just going to be about them. Tessa and Scott, two best friends. Not Virtue and Moir, Olympic champions. For the first time in a long time, the two skated just to skate. If people were to watch them, they would say that by no means were they technically brilliant that day, but it didn’t matter because they brought something bigger, something more powerful to the ice that even the most untrained eye when it comes to ice skating could see. Scott had never been sure what it was for Tessa, but he knew, without a doubt, that this was the day he knew he was completely, utterly, and hopelessly in love with her.
Eventually, as they continued to skate, they got more fatigued, and sloppier with every minute that passed, and when they got their skates tangled up together, bringing the two of them to the ground, they took one look at each other before they burst into fits of laughter. But as their laughter died down, they became more aware of the situation they were in, or rather, the position.
Scott had fallen on top of her and had managed to prop himself up over her, with his forearms resting on either side of her head. Their legs were still tangled together, and Scott could feel Tessa’s hands lightly grabbing his jacket at his waist.
He smiled at her softly. “You okay, Kiddo?”
She smiled back and nodded her head. A strand of hair had fallen onto Tessa’s face, and almost instinctively, Scott tucks it back behind her ear and he swears he can feel Tessa’s grip on his hips tighten. Instead of moving his hand back to it’s original position, he allows himself to slowly and gently slide his hand down her cheek and jaw, until he’s caressing her face and stroking her cheek with his thumb.
This is it, he told himself. She’s right there, just kiss her, you coward!
He felt himself start to lower his face towards hers, but he made the mistake of glancing down at her lips. Her perfect, plump, pink lips. And then he felt himself start to panic.
Scott had never wanted anything more in his life than to kiss Tessa then and there, but the only thing he could think about were the what-ifs. What if she rejected him? What if it effected their skating? What if, by some miracle, Tessa felt the same way about him as he did about her but it ends badly and she leaves? And as Scott lay there, frozen, staring at her lips, he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle that. He couldn’t bear the thought of his name never escaping through those lips of hers again, if she never let out that huge belly laugh she reserves just for him. So, he plays it safe.
He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, as he’d done so many times before, and then untangled his legs from hers. Getting up, he tried his hardest to act like he hadn’t just had a slight mid-life crisis at the age of twenty-four. Naturally, he grabs Tessa’s hands and lifts her back on her feet.
“I think we should take that as our cue to get going,” he told her.
She smiled at him, but it’s wasn’t her usual smile that lit up her whole face. No, this one seemed slightly disappointed. But the next day, she was completely back to normal, and the two of them never talked about that day again.
And so, as Scott lay in bed, he replayed that day over and over. He analyzed every second of it, but he still comes to the same conclusion every time. He blew it. Eventually, he drifts off into a restless sleep, nothing on his mind except Tessa.
Then a week later, when he receives an invitation in the mail to join Tessa and Jake in celebrating the union of their two families, the replays of that day start all over again, but this time, in an alternate reality, he mans up and kisses her, and he’s left to dream about what might have been.
Because that’s all he has. What might have been.
***
And I know her daddy's been dreading this day
Oh, but he don't know he ain't the only one giving her away
***
Unfortunately for Scott, the torture didn’t start and end with the actual wedding. No, he had the engagement party to go to. Originally, he’d responded No to the RSVP, but Tessa wasn’t having that. As soon as she caught wind that he wasn’t going to be in attendance, she called him up, begging him to reconsider.
“We’ve never had huge life events without the other. Please, please come,” she had said.
And Scott, because he would literally do anything to make that woman smile, and because he had started to think he may be a bit of a masochist, eventually agrees.
So now he’s stood in front of Tessa’s parent’s house, a place he’s been countless times before, but for the first time, he’s dreading walking through the door.
“Get a grip, Scott,” he muttered to himself. “It’s for Tessa, do this for Tessa.”
With that, he pushes the door open, instantly greeted by some of Tessa’s family members, who have come to be an extension of his own family over the years. He’s also met by Jake’s parents, who, just like their son, are very polite and welcoming, and Scott doesn’t know if that makes him feel better or worse about this whole messed up situation. He sees his own family mingling with other guests, and while he makes eye contact with some of them, they just offer him smiles filled with sympathy and let him be, and for that Scott is grateful. He continued walking through the house, eyes automatically searching for the pair of gorgeous green ones that own his heart, when he heard a deep voice from behind him.
“Scott Moir.”
He turned around coming face to face with Jim Virtue. For the first time that day, Scott let a genuine smile grace his features.
“Jim. Good to see you.”
The two men shook hands as Jim gave him a pat on the back.
“I’ve got to say, kid, I wasn’t sure if you were going to come. It’s a bit strange, isn’t it? As a father, you know that this day is going to come eventually, but that doesn’t make you any more prepared.” Jim said.
Yeah, you’re not the only one. Scott inhaled deeply, trying to get a grip on his emotions.
“It’s definitely going to be something to get used to,” Scott said, before trying to make light of the situation. “I guess I’m going to have to learn how to share Tess from now on, huh?”
Jim let out a chuckle.
“I guess so,” he replied before adding, “Funny, though. I never thought you’d have to. Thought it’d be the two of you going through all of this one day.”
Scott just blinked, not knowing what to say. He just didn’t understand. Even Tessa’s father, her father believed that the two of them would end up together. The entire universe points to the fact that it should be him by Tessa’s side, yet he’s not. And he just doesn’t get it.
He furrowed his eyebrows and cleared his throat.
“Just tell me one thing, Jim. Is she happy?”
Jim’s smile wavered a bit before answering. “She’s content, yes.”
Scott shook his head immediately. “That’s not what I asked. Is she really, truly, full on happy?”
Jim sighed, eyes darting around the room, a habit he seemed to share with his daughter when uncomfortable.
“Jake is a really good guy. I know he’ll do everything in his power to give her the best life possible,” he finally replied. “But if you’re asking if I ever think I’ll hear her do that laughing and crying thing with him that you’ve always talked about, then no. I don’t ever see her having that with him.”
And somehow, that was the worst part in of all of this.
***
I'll wear my black suit, black tie, hide out in the back
I'll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask
I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees
Yeah, she wanna get married
But she don't wanna marry me
***
So there he was, three months later, standing in front of a church.
It surprised him, but the most overwhelming emotion he was currently feeling wasn’t heartbreak or sadness, it was anger.
This isn’t what Tessa wanted, he thought, looking at the giant church which was no doubt going to be packed full of people. He had watched various members of her family enter the church, including her grandfather, as a guest. Not as the one preaching the service. Not the one to actually marry her. Sighing, he walked through the door, only to be surrounded by roses everywhere he looked. Of course, no magnolias either. And Scott did have to admit, the venue was beautiful. The flowers were beautiful. Everything was beautiful. But it was all so traditional, as if no emotion was put into it. It wasn’t Tessa. It wasn’t the wedding she had been dreaming of since the ripe age of ten. Scott shook his head, walked right through the church, ignoring his family and fellow skating friends who tried to talk to him, and headed straight for the gardens in the back of the church. The second he was outside, he grabbed the flask from his jacket pocket and took a swig.
“Mind if I have some of that?”
Scott whipped around and almost spit out the sip he had just taken at the sight of her. She wasn’t in her dress yet, she was in a simple shirt and black leggings, but her make up was done, and Scott had never seen anything so heartbreakingly beautiful in his life. Finally, he was able to refocus his thoughts, and he smirked at her.
“You sure you should be drinking right before your wedding?” He asked but held the flask out to her anyway.
She immediately took it and took a long drink from it. Scott’s eyes widened as he stepped closer to her, one hand going instinctively around her waist, the other gently pulling the flask away from her mouth.
“Holy shit, T. What’s wrong?” He asked.
Tessa swallowed the whiskey with one giant gulp and then closed her eyes. When she reopened them, she looked stone cold, focused, just like she did before a competition. Taken aback by this, because he knew this look, and this look meant that she was trying to shut out any emotion that would try to penetrate her, he tried her again.
“Tess,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. “What’s going on? You’re scaring me.”
Tessa took one, two, three deep breaths before answering him.
“It’s nothing, I’m fine,” she said. “Just nervous I guess.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “Is this what you want, Tess? To get married here? Like this? Because I know you, and I know that you have had your wedding planned out since we were kids, and this isn’t it.”
She laughed humorlessly, pulling away from him, turning to look at the garden.
“Trust me, Scott. With Jake, this is the wedding I want. I don’t want anything to do with that other wedding I’d had planned. Not with him.”
This just confused Scott more, but he decided it would be best if he didn’t push it. He could tell she was getting emotional, and if they kept this conversation up, she’d most likely be crying soon, and he didn’t want her to ruin her make up.
So instead, he walked up behind her and ran his hands up and down her arms. She leaned back into him, and he told himself she only did that because it had become second nature to her after all those years skating together. Knowing that this would be the last time he’d get to be like this with her because, hell, she’d be a married woman in just a few hours, he rested his head in his favorite part of her, in the crook of her neck.
He kissed her there, trying to savor the taste of her one last time.
“You look stunning, Tess.”
Another kiss.
“You deserve the best-”
And another.
“Most beautiful-”
Another.
“Most perfect wedding of all time.”
One last kiss.
And then he released her and walked away, feeling a cold emptiness take over his body, one he knew could never be filled unless it was by her.
What he didn’t know was that she felt it too.
***
Bet she got on her dress now, welcoming the guests now
I could try to find her, get it off of my chest now
But I ain't gonna mess it up, so I'll wish her the best now
***
About half an hour later, Scott was trying to appear normal, chatting with Andrew Pojé and Patrick Chan. Although he tried to keep his feelings for Tessa private when they were competing together, he had assumed that Andrew and Patrick had picked up on it over the years, so they purposefully kept their conversation far away from Tessa, and Scott doesn’t think he’d ever been more grateful to the two.
That didn’t mean he wasn’t thinking about her. He can’t help it, she just occupies his mind at all hours of the day. It’s not like he asks for this because he definitely, definitely would have never asked for this. He thinks about her in her dressing room, with Jordan and Kaitlyn and all of her other bridesmaids. They only have about ten minutes until the ceremony starts, so Scott was positive that she was now in her dress, most likely welcoming and taking pictures with her family as her father prepares to give her away.
He’s mentally kicking himself for how he left her in the gardens. Could he have been anymore obvious that he was totally, completely in love with her? He fucking quoted her ten-year-old self, for God’s sake. Who does that? Who remembers what someone said at ten years old?
But then the other part of him is wondering if he should have just straight up said the words. Those three words. Maybe, if he manned up and was straightforward with her for once in his life, it could change things. It’s taking every ounce of will power not to try and find her again. Try and convince her that unless the two of them are together, nothing is right in this world, but he couldn’t do it.
I can’t – I won’t do that to her. Not on a day like this. Not when I had my shot for twenty years and did nothing.
So instead, he took a seat in the very last row, by the aisleway, right by the doors, so he could make his escape if he had to. If it got to be too much.
***
So I'm in my black suit, black tie, hiding out in the back
Doing a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask
I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees
Yeah, she wanna get married
Yeah, she gonna get married
***
It did get to be too much. Very, very quickly. It was like time was warped. Everyone and everything was moving so slow yet all at once. One minute, he’s watching Jake take his place at the front of the church, the next minute the music starts and everyone is standing, and then there she is, walking down the aisle with Jim on her hand.
As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t look away from her. In her long, flowing white gown, she was every bit the bride Scott imagined her to be. Except he imagined her to be his bride.
He was in the very last row, which meant that he was the first one she passed, the first one she saw, and when they locked eyes it was like nothing else mattered except for the two of them.
Don’t do it, he wanted to say. Don’t marry him, marry me. But instead he bit the inside of his cheeks, offered her what he hoped was an encouraging smile, and finally tore his gaze away when he felt the tears stinging his eyes, threatening to drop.
Tessa finally reached the end of the aisle, and when her father took his hand out of hers and replaced it with Jake’s, Scott knew that he couldn’t make it through the rest.
So, as quietly as he could, he stood up and walked out the door, and only then did he let the tears fall.
***
But she ain't gonna marry me
Whoa, she ain't gonna marry me, no
***
The only reason Jake knew Scott had left is because of Tessa. It’s like her mind and body was so attuned to him that he could have been leaving the coffee shop down the street and she’d still know. Her head snapped in the direction of Scott’s retreating figure so fast, and he felt her flinch, as if she were about to go after him. But she stopped herself and faced him again and gave him a tight-lipped smile.
He knew, going into this relationship with Tessa, that it would be difficult. She had warned him. Had told him about how important Scott is to her, and how easily people mistake them for a couple, even though it had been a few years since they had been straight in the lime light. He took it all in stride and told her that she – that they – were worth it.
If only he had known back then how in love with him she was.
He had gotten hints of it throughout their relationship. He chalked them talking on the phone every night to the fact that they were best friends, and that was normal for them. When he had met Tessa, she and Scott were still trying to figure out what normal friendship looked like, and he figured in time, the phone calls would start to dwindle. They never did.
His first major red flag was when he and Tessa met up with Scott at the charity gala a few months ago, and Scott seemed absolutely floored by the idea of them still being together, much less engaged. Tessa gave a quick enough answer that she wanted to tell him in person, but when he confronted her later that night about how Scott had no idea they were still a couple, she just shrugged and said that they don’t talk about that stuff. And that was that.
Things between them changed after that. Tessa was more withdrawn. He could physically feel her pulling away from him. She made the excuse that she was just so busy and stressed with the wedding planning, and he accepted that truth, but it still made him feel uneasy.
But then today. He saw them. He saw them talking in the gardens of the church, and God the way she was with him, the way he was with her, the way they responded to each other, he knew that he would never have that with her. Hell, he didn’t know if anyone else in the world had what they had.
For the past hour, he’s been trying to forget about that private moment he saw. He told himself that it didn’t matter. After all, he was the one about to marry her, right? She had chosen him, right? Right? Wrong. She had never chosen him. She was only settling for him, because he can see on her face how unsure she is about how Scott feels about her.
And Tessa didn’t deserve to settle for someone. And Jake didn’t deserve to be settled on.
He cleared his throat. “Tessa, can I talk to you for a minute?”
She furrowed her eyebrows and cocked her head at him. “Now, Jake? Seriously?”
Jake nodded. “Seriously.”
Tessa sighed and nodded her head, and then Jake was leading her away to another room of the church. He heard all the murmuring from their guests, but he’d deal with that soon. They needed to talk this through.
He closed the door and they were both silent for a moment and then…
“I saw you today.”
“Jake, I have no idea what you mean.”
He inhaled and exhaled, trying to keep his emotions at bay before speaking again.
“You and Scott. In the gardens. I saw you.”
He looked at her, and he could tell she was trying to think of something to say by the way she kept opening and closing her mouth.
“It was nothing,” she finally settled on, and then Jake snapped.
“Don’t tell me it was nothing, Tessa. I saw you. I saw him. And that version of you that I saw? I’ve never seen it with anyone but him.”
Surprise lit up her face. Jake rarely snaps at her.
“Tessa,” he said, calmer now. “Please, please just tell me the truth. Do you even want to marry me?”
Tessa took a step towards him, starting to reach for him before stopping herself.
“Of course I want to get married, Jake.”
He nodded, knowing where this is going. “But you don’t want to marry me, do you?”
She didn’t respond at first. The two of them just looked at each other, and when he saw the regret and guilt forming in her eyes, he knew the answer before she even said anything.
“No. I’m so sorry Jake.”
He ran a hand through his hair, trying to gain his composure as she continued. It was like now that her big secret was out in the open, she couldn’t stop talking.
“I tried, I swear I did. I tried so hard to love you the way you love me, but I just can’t. I think I’ve always known that my heart belongs to him, I was just so scared and you were so safe and then things just started spiraling out of control and the next thing I knew we were engaged, but I still just…I still just…love him.”
She trailed off, and then by some odd twist in fate, he was the one comforting her.
“It’s okay, Tessa. It’s okay. We’re both going to be fine. On the bright side, we had this conversation before we actually tied the knot,” he said, hoping to just get her to stop crying.
She let out a watery laugh, and then the two of them just stared at each other before she broke the silence.
“Jake, you deserve everything you want in this world. You are amazing, practically perfect, just-”
“Not perfect for you?” he finished for her.
She pursed her lips and nodded.
“Go after him.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
“Go after him. I’ll be damned if we call off this wedding just for the two of you to keep running in circles around each other.”
“But the guests-”
“I’ll handle them, Tessa. Please, just go.”
She didn’t have to be told again. With another apology, she was off, and he was not quite left standing at the altar, but it was pretty damn close.
***
It turns out she doesn’t have to go far. Scott has only made it to the benches outside the church. She assumes he was hoping to sneak out of the ceremony unnoticed, and then join in again at the reception, acting as if he wasn’t affected by this.
He doesn’t see her. He couldn’t. He was crouched over, with his head in between his hands, trying to pull himself together. She looked at him, and she felt the familiar feeling of fondness and love overtake her, but she also felt broken. He looked like a shell of the man she’s used to, and she decided right then and there that she was going to spend the rest of her life making up for the pain she’d put him through these last few months.
She walks up to him, slowly so she doesn’t startle him, and when he still doesn’t look up, she realizes that his eyes were closed. So, she kneels in front of him, wedding dress be damned, and slowly removes his head from his hands only to cradle him in her own.
“Scott,” she whispers.
His eyes finally open, slowly, and Tessa can see the heartbreak, regret, confusion, relief, love and hope in them all at once.
“Tessa.”
***
She wants to get married, she wants it perfect.