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I lost Jackson a long time ago, and Yugyeom, and Youngjae… oops. To be honest, though I could probably easily find the last two making out in any corner of this club. It’s too hot in here, but I can barely feel anything anyways.
What’s wrong with me?
I dropped the drink that was in my hand sometime earlier tonight. I have shit to do, and responsibilities and I can no longer remember what they are or where precisely the exit of this building is.
Why am I doing this?
I like the music; I don’t understand what they’re saying since it’s in Korean and my muddled brain is no longer able to translate it, but it has some nice bass that I can feel through the soles of my boots.
I feel a hand wrap around my arm, and I’m faced with an equally wasted Jackson smiling so wide it’s a miracle his face isn’t broken.
“G-guess who iiiii foundddd,” He says, raising his eyebrows suggestively. I don’t care, but I smile anyway and ask what.
“I found your, DATE,” he says before carting me off to only-god-knows-where.
“Let gooo,” I whine, “I don’t wanna to talk to anyone.”
“S-shut up, you’re gonna love him,” Jackson says, continuing to pull through the crowd of swaying bodies.
“HIM? I’m straight Jackson. Have you lost your marblesss,” I say suddenly putting up more of a resistance.
“I don’t understanddd whatever English gibberishly that last p-part was but- oh there he is,” Jackson says stopping abruptly causing me to run into his back and fall.
Jackson ignores this fact and points to a man sitting at the bar, continuing to talk about how hot he is. Jackson starts walking toward the dude again, my hand still in his and me still on the floor. I don’t want to be here. I scramble to get up only to be elbowed by Jackson in the forehead when he turns around again. At least he’s stopped walking. I quickly stumble off the floor ready to strangle my friend, but he’s already disappeared back onto the dance floor. I sigh and lean against the closest bar stool.
“You okay?” someone asks, amusement in the voice. I look up to see a glittering pair of brown eyes.
“No,” I say, slumping down in the chair in defeat. The man laughs, and I like his laugh. I realise that there couldn’t be more than a year age difference between us.
“I hate my friends, and I have shit to do that I don’t remember and I’m tired of being alive,” I say pouting, I’m pretty sure half of that was English and that last part I didn’t mean to say at all. Despite the changing language the man seems to understand most of what I say and nods in sympathy I was expecting. It’s obvious he’s had fewer drinks than me, but he’s not exactly sober either.
“You have nice eyes,” I slur. He chuckles warmly, “so do you.”
“I don’t wanna be here,” I say, lost in my thoughts.
“Then let’s leave,” he says, holding out a hand for me to take.
“Okay,” I say, taking his hand.
We make it through the crowd, me holding as tight as possible to the stranger’s hand. The cold night air sobers me just slightly, and I take a deep breath.
“Thank you,” I say, still not letting his hand go. Despite feeling overheated the warmth from his palm is comforting somehow. We walk for a bit, and I’m not sure where we’re going, but I don’t care either.
“What’s your name?” I ask noticing I never asked.
“Jinyoung, yours?” He asks.
“Mark,” I say.
He nods, “I like it.” We land in a random park that’s dimly lit and mostly unoccupied. I finally start leading the path we take, tugging his hand toward the lake that sits in the middle of the area.
I let go of his hand to push on his shoulders, so he sits down. I make my way between his legs and lean against his chest, enjoying the stark contrast of warmth against the winter air. He wraps his arms around my waist, and I don’t like guys like this, but this is nice, not having to be in control of everything all the time.
A little voice in the back of my head is telling me that this is weird and this is something two lovers would do on a date, not two strangers who wandered out of a club together. I ignore the little voice because it’s annoying and I don’t like what it has to say.
I turn my head into his chest. We sit in silence for a little bit. He starts playing with my hands after a few minutes. I watch him flip them over so that they’re palms up and begin to draw invisible pictures on them. He presses a kiss to the back of one of my hands.
“I’m straight,” my brains decides to say.
“I’m not,” Jinyoung replies. Jinyoung…I like how his name rolls off my tongue. I realise I’ve been softly repeating his name for seemingly no reason.
“I was supposed to be at a family dinner tonight,” I blurt out once again.
“Some friends you have, bringing you out to a club when you have plans,” he says, his chin now leaning on my shoulder.
“They didn’t know, they thought my schedule was free, and I didn’t object when they invited me,” I say. Sitting it the cold has sobered me up, and now I live in a haze instead of a dense fog.
“Now why would our Markie be avoiding his family? Could it be a scandalous affair with your wife that they don’t approve of? Or maybe you’re all involved in a drug ring, and you ratted out their secret headquarters?” He suggests, and I can hear the smile in his voice. I turn to face him and push his shoulder lightly, still sitting in his lap, now laughing.
“Shut up, I’m not nearly interesting enough for any of those to be true,” I say, still giggling. I see Jinyoung smiling at me, and I like being the centre of this strangers attention for some reason.
“I don’t know about that. I mean with bright red hair and several ear piercings,” he pauses to run his lips behind my ear, his bottom lip occasionally catching on one of the backings, “you seem like a pretty interesting person to me.” Goosebumps are now covering my arms, and my heart rates picked up for some reason.
“Yeah well, all those things are to hide that I’m actually the most boring person on the planet. The red is a little too flashy for my taste anyway,” I sigh, looking down at my hands in my lap, trying to retrace the lines he drew earlier.
“I think it suits you, goes nicely with your skin,” he argues. When I solemnly continue to look at my hands instead of answering he picks my hands back up and cradles them in his slightly larger ones, blocking them from my view. “What wrong Markie?” He asks, his breath rolling over my exposed shoulder.
I sigh, “I just, I’m tired of having to live up people’s expectations. My other siblings are so successful, and I’m always left to feel like a disappointment. I feel like they were almost expecting me not to show up tonight. Oh look, Mark dropped out of college to go after his silly dreams of singing. Oh, bother, there goes Mark having to share his apartment with his friend because he can’t afford the rent. Well maybe I just enjoy the company, ever think about that, Mom,” I say, going off on a tangent and somewhere halfway through a tear fell down my cheek. Jinyoung takes it upon himself to wipe it off, his hand so gentle it feels like a feather falling onto my face. I lean into his touch, so he keeps his hand there, thumb moving gently across my cheekbone.
“Why are you being so nice to me? All I’ve done for you is drag you out of a club and cry in your lap,” I ask, looking up at his to meeting his eyes.
He gives me a sad smile, “everyone deserves some kindness in their life, and you look like you could use some.”
“Well, thank you, for whatever reason,” I say. He leans over to brush a kiss on my forehead. It’s strange to be treated so fragile, it’s something I’m not used to, with my other friends usually so blunt in their actions and words, but I could definitely get used to it.
The same little voice asks what my parents would think about his, about letting a stranger touch me like this but a suddenly don’t care what they would think anymore. I’ve spent 23 years living in their disappointment, and I make the abrupt decision to take a minute for myself.
Starting with pressing my lips against those of the person who’s been so nice to me all night for no reason. His hand moves from my cheek to the back of my head, and I grab the collar of his shirt to bring him even closer. I’m sure we both taste like alcohol but his lips are soft and pliable, and his hair is silky underneath my fingertips. When we finally break apart, we’ve both already shifted. Jinyoung’s laying on his back and I’m practically straddling him, my hand on both sides of his head in the grass and my legs on either side of his. We’re both out of breath, but when I meet his eyes, we both start laughing anyways.
“‘I’m straight’ my ass,” he mumbles, smiling at me.
“Shut up,” I say giggling before he brings my head back down to kiss me again.
It’s less frantic this time, less like an act of rebellion and more like an act of reassurance. His free hand has move to my thigh, the pressure like a weight keeping me tided to reality, like if he let go, I’d float off into space or something. He’s the one that pulls away this time.
“Neither of us is sober right now,” he points out.
“I know,” I say, but I’m not as wasted as I was when I walked out. The pulsing numbness has turned into a pleasant buzz, so I don’t have to try as hard to form my thoughts anymore, and I can enjoy Jinyoungs company more.
“What if we don’t remember any of this tomorrow?” He says, a look of concern suddenly on his face.
“We will,” I say with confidence. I might be drunk, but I could never forget a face like Jinyoungs.
I look up and get a weird look from a woman walking by on the sidewalk. We both give her timid waves, smiling shyly. She scoffs in disgust and walks on by. I glare at the back of her head. Jinyoung takes my face in his hand forcing me to look away.
“Focus on me, not her,” he says, smiling gently at me, rubbing a finger between my eyebrows where a crease has formed until I’m smiling again.
“I’m so happy I met you,” I say.
“I’m grateful towards your friend, although he could have skipped the part where he dragged you across the club floor before introducing us,” he says laughing lightly.
“Yeah, that hurt, ” I say rubbing my elbow that had hit the wooden floor. He takes my arm and even though there no visible damage he kisses it anyways. I blush looking away shyly.
A gust of wind blows through, getting underneath my loose shirt and making me shiver.
“I should have brought a jacket,” I complain, cursing my past self for being so stupid.
“I guess that’s the signal,” he says.
“What signal?” I ask confused.
“To get somewhere warmer than laying on the ground in a park in the middle of winter. If you don’t mind standing up so I can save you from hypothermia,” he says smiling. I blush and quickly stand up, looking down as he stands, brushing the grass from his jeans. He slips his light jacket from of his shoulders and wraps it around me, letting me slide my arms through the sleeves.
“It’s the best I can do right now, come on,” he says, giving me a quick peck on the lips before grabbing my hand and leading me to I hope somewhere warmer.
Despite the bright lights of the city, the park is secluded enough to be able to see the stars, glistening surprisingly bright. I smile lovingly at them, and I feel Jinyoung slightly tighten his grip on my hand comfortingly. We walk for a few minutes through the busy streets until he pulls me into an expensive looking apartment building.
I’m hit with warmth once we step inside, sighing constantly. He smiles at me.
“Good evening Mr.Park,” The lady at the front desk.
“Evening Mina,” Jinyoung replies, nodding at her. The woman smiles lightly at me as well.
We step into the elevator, and I take the opportunity to lean my head against his shoulder. He kisses the top of my head before pressing the number for the second to last floor. Now that I’m warm, I feel my eyes drooping down slowly.
“Don’t fall asleep, unless you want me to care you to the room,” he says, amusement in his voice.
“Tempting,” I mumble halfheartedly, feeling another wave of tiredness wash over me.
“What time is it?” I ask. I see him look at his watch out of the corner of my eye.
“2:40,” he responds. I know, eyes closing even more.
The elevator dings, alerting us that we’ve reached our destination. I try to walk out of the elevator but almost trip over the small lip of the door.
Jinyoung chuckles, picking me up and walking down the hall to his door. The tired to object I wrap my arms around his neck. He sets me down gently after a few seconds later to lean against the door frame while he unlocks it. I hear a click, and he’s picking me up again.
He doesn’t turn on any lights, but enough light is let through the large glass windows of the apartment for me to know he makes way more than me income wise. Another door is opened, and I’m set down gently on the softest sheets I’ve ever felt.
I kick off my shoes, and Jinyoung works off my his jacket.
“Lay back, baby,” he says gently. I slip under the sheets, and few second later he joins me, arms wrapping around my waist, one leg wrapped around mine. Under any other circumstances, I would have had a problem with being babied like this, but everything feels so natural around Jinyoung like I’ve known him for years instead of just meeting him a couple hours ago.
“Thank you,” I mumble for the third time that night.
“Shh,” he says right behind my ear, “go to sleep, we can talk more in the morning.” I take one his hands that’s wrapped around my waist and hold it against my chest. I let the feeling of his heartbeat against my back and his breath on my neck lull me in a dreamless but peaceful sleep.
•
The warmth of the room immediately tells me that this isn’t my bedroom, it’s always slightly too cold in the winter in my apartment. I curl into the silky sheets enjoying the luxury before my thoughts can’t ruin the peace. I roll over, arms reaching for someone else but the bed is empty.
That’s when the smell of eggs and bacon hit my nose. What?
I open my eyes, slowly to adjust them to the light. The room is simple black and white with random gold accents. Very elegant and not what I was expecting for the playful and childlike person I met last night. I swing my legs over the edge, digging my toes into the soft carpeted floor.
I follow the smell down a short hallway and into a marble floored kitchen. Standing at the stove is an unkept Jinyoung. Even though his shirt is wrinkled and his feet are bare, his hair falls perfectly into place.
I sneak up behind him, getting my mouth right next to his ear before whispering, “Who in Korea cooks eggs and bacon for breakfast?” He jumps, dropping the spatula he was holding, which I catch easily, expecting it. I laugh as he puts a hand over his obviously speeding heart. He shoves my shoulder and sticks his tongue out at me. I give him back the utensil before kissing him quickly and sitting down at the island a few feet away.
“I try to cook you breakfast, and I’m rewarded with being scared,” he says, glaring at me but the smile tinting his lips tells me he’s not really mad.
“Who cooks breakfast in Korea? And how did you find bacon, I’ve been looking for that stuff forever,” I repeat.
“Half of what you said at the club was English, I figured it was your native tongue,” He looks over his shoulder at me, eyes worried, “I hope that wasn’t a false assumption.”
“Oh no, totally right. Just unexpected is all,” I say, quickly trying to calm his nerves. He relaxes into another easy smile.
“Well then,” he says setting a plate full of food in front of me,“enjoy.” He puts the dishes in the sink and takes a seat next to me with his own food.
We eat in comfortable silence, and when we’re both almost done, I speak up. “I’m surprised you haven’t kicked me out yet,” I say, smirking.
“I could never do that to you,” he says getting up and grabbing our empty plates, “princess.” He whispers the last part, gently biting my earlobe making my whole face go bright red in the process.
He washes up, refusing my help. “Go find something to watch in the living room instead, I’ll be there in a minute,” he suggests. I sigh, feeling bad, but he’s pressed his hips against the counter, blocking me from moving him aside. I slump onto the couch scrolling through the channels but not really focusing on anything but the memories of Jinyoung holding me in the park.
Not more than three minutes later he walks in handing me a device I recognise as my phone.
“It was in my jacket pocket; it’s been going off for the past hour. I don’t know who it is, but they obviously want your attention,” he explains, sitting next to me and pulling me into his lap, both legs hanging over one of his. My cheeks go red again, but it’s too comfortable for me to move back.
I unlock it to be met with nine missed calls and fifteen new messages, all from Jackson. Great. I roll my eyes, leaning over and setting it on the coffee table.
“They’re from my friend Jackson,” I say, in an idle tone.
“Who’s Jackson?” He asks arm wrapping around my waist possessively. I laugh at his behaviour.
“Don’t worry; he’s just my roommate. He’s the dude who introduced us last night,” I say, leaning over and trailing kisses from behind the top of his ear, down his neck, ending at his collarbone. Both of his hands are tightly on my waist but for a different reason this time.
I finally kiss his lips, his hand pulling me even closer despite me already literally being on top of him. My hands make their way from his shoulder to behind his head, keeping him in place. I’ve finally accepted where this is going when a there’s a frantic knock on the front door. I try to pull back, but Jinyoung just says to ignore them, reconnecting our lips. It works for about five seconds before they knock again. Jinyoung moans in irritation, the sound reverberating through my mouth.
He gently picks me up and places me on the couch next to him, earning a pout on my part.
“I’ll be right back,” he says. He tries to straighten out his shirt before getting up to answer the door. They knock again before he can reach the door and he lets out an agitated ‘I’m coming’ before finally opening the door.
“Can I help you?” He asks. I lean over the edge of the couch to peer at the door.
“Who are you and what have you done with Mark?” the unfortunately familiar voice asks. I begrudgingly get up to get rid of the annoyance. Jinyoung is defensively standing in the doorway, arms crossed. Jackson practically yelling at him on the other side.
“And who are you?” Jinyoung asks frowning. I put a hand on his shoulder gently moving him aside.
“Mark?” Jackson says looking relieved. “Where have you been? Why haven’t you answered my calls? I thought you were dead or something?” He says, resuming to yell. Receiving a deadpanned expression from me.
“Don’t yell at Mark,” Jinyoung says, protectively wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.
“What-” before the lightbulb obviously goes off in his head.
“Sorry, I was asleep. Bonehead,” I say, glaring at my drama queen of a roommate.
“Well, how was I supposed to know? You disappeared from the face of the earth, and when I last saw you, you were drunk out of your mind. You could have been dead or something,” he justifies.
“Speaking of disappearing from the face of the earth, how did you find me?” I ask, brows furrowed.
“Oh, I tracked your cell phone,” He says like it’s the obvious thing the world.
“You what? We agreed that was only for emergencies,” I say, exasperated.
“I thought you were dead,” he says.
“I was asleep,” I say.
“How was I supposed to know-” he says.
“Okay, bye,” I say, closing the door halfway through his sentence. Jinyoung backs up, letting me turn around. He gives me an amused look while I throw a glare towards the door.
“I guess that was Jackson,” he says.
“Yeah, leave it to him,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Can we pick up where we left off or has the mood already been killed,” he jokes, smiling at me. I laugh, pulling at his waist and kissing him in response. He backs me against the door, making it give a little.
“You better not be making out against the door,” Jackson says from the other side.