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Rainy Days and Mondays
In 'The Changeling', Chief O'Neill tells T that he knows one of the resident psychologists
on staff at the hospital, this is my take on how Chief O'Neill and Dr. Jackson met...and more.
Jack hated Mondays.
Every crappy thing in his life happened on a Monday.
His father died on a Monday in 1978.
His mother died on a Monday in 1986.
His son died on a Monday in 1996.
His divorce was finalized one year later...on a Monday.
And his closest friend, Charles J. Kawalsky, had died this past Monday.
Jack hated Monday's.
The bugler released his final note and those in uniform snapped to attention and saluted their
fallen comrade.
Jack watched their Chief, George Hammond, accept the folded flag then present it to Kawalsky's
widow and kids.
He felt the rage of how unfair this death was.
If anyone had to die Jack thought it should have been him, after all, he had no one to mourn him.
No family to cry over his grave.
It should have been me!
When the service was over Jack went home and drank himself into a stupor as he had every night since it happened.
He fell asleep on the couch hoping he was too drunk to dream.
Jack. Jack. Jack.
Kawalsky?
Look at yourself, Kawalsky said and shook his head sadly.
You're not real.
'Course not.
Go away.
You brought me here Jack.
Jack glared at the figment.
Go. Away.
Be glad to but you gotta help me.
How?!?
Well, you created me for a reason Jack...
This is just a damn dream!
But it's your dream, Charlie shrugged.
Wake up! Jack ordered himself.
The figment smirked.
Damn it O'Neill! WAKE UP!
Still here Jack.
Jack woke with a massive headache.
He stumbled to the bathroom and downed an aspirin then showered before grabbing another beer.
With a heavy sigh he fell into the chair and sipped it.
That ain't gonna help buddy.
"Please go away." Jack closed his eyes a long moment.
I told you, you created me.
"Stop messing with my stuff!" Jack glared at the figment of Kawalsky who was looking through
Jack's music collection.
Hey, this my Elvis CD?
"Damn it Kawalsky!" Jack snapped.
Temper Jack, the figment smirked.
"Shut up and get out!"
They looked over at the knock on the door.
Gonna get that?
"No!" Jack growled
Could be important.
"Get out of here!" Jack hissed.
"Son? Are you in there?" Chief Hammond called through the closed door.
Jack rubbed his eyes and rose to answer the door.
Clearing his throat he opened the door to his Chief.
"Hey Chief, want a beer?" Jack asked and headed for the kitchen.
"Little early for me son." Hammond shook his head.
"Since I'm retired..." Jack pulled another beer from the refrigerator.
"You're on leave son." Hammond corrected.
Jack turned to him frowning.
"The Mayor wants you to go to counseling." Hammond said.
"No. I'm done--" Jack shook his head.
"Just a few sessions son." Hammond replied.
"Chief--" Jack started.
"The crew needs you there Jack." Hammond answered.
"They don't need me." Jack refuted.
"What happened to Kawalsky wasn't your fault." Hammond consoled.
"I sent him in!" Jack slammed the bottle down sending beer onto the counter.
"I've sent men in thousands of times, not all have come back out." Hammond replied quietly.
Jack turned away from the understanding in his superiors eyes.
"Monday evening, C.S. Hospital, 6 p.m. That's an order Captain." Hammond pushed and left.
Jack kicked the chair angrily.
Some shrink is gonna tell me how I should feel?!?
He picked up the beer and swallowed a big gulp.
Don't hold much for counselors do you Jack?
"Go. Away." Jack hissed.
The Chief said the crew needed you, gonna let them down Jack?
"They're better off without me." Jack muttered.
Like Charlie?
"Shut up!" Jack turned on the figment furiously.
Hey, I'm only saying what's going on in the old grey matter buddy, Kawalsky said and disappeared.
Jack picked up his beer and fell into the chair closing his eyes.
Someone knocking on the door woke Jack.
"For crying out loud." He muttered and clambered to his feet.
Whoever was at the door knocked again.
"Hold on!" Jack hollered and climbed the stairs and yanked the door open with a glare, "What?!?" he growled.
"Hey Cap, bad time?" The man there smiled.
"Ferretti? What the hell are you doing here?" Jack muttered.
"Hoping to talk you into going to the counselor with us." The Italian grinned.
"The Chief send you?" Jack snorted.
"No. Look, none of us really want to go to this guy but we don't have the luxury of retiring. I got fifteen years Jack, some of the other guys even less. We still need you." Ferretti pled.
"You guys need somebody to hold your hands huh?" Jack snorted.
"Yeah." Ferretti grinned.
"Fine! Now get out of here before I kick your ass!" Jack growled.
Ferretti saluted him and lumbered off to his car, mission accomplished.
"This is all your fault Kawalsky." Jack muttered and slammed the door shut.
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Jack stepped off the elevator and stalked down the hall to the shrinks office.
Ferretti raised a hand in greeting and Jack nodded back.
Looks like the gangs all here.
Jack nearly jumped and slowly turned to see Kawalsky grinning at him.
"Are you alright sir?" Reynold's asked
Taking a deep breath Jack nodded.
Most of the men were veteran's like him, Ferretti, Reynolds, Griff, Edwards, Ronson then there were the
younger ones, Lorne, Connor and Kearney.
Jack looked at his watch with a frown.
"Sorry I'm late."
He looked up at the new voice and saw a younger man with short brown hair and blue eyes covered by glasses.
Kinda young, Kawalsky opined.
Jack ignored him and followed the others into the young mans office.
After several more chairs were brought in by the guys they all sat.
"Anyone for coffee?" Dr. Jackson asked.
A few of the men raised their hands so the shrink got their drinks then settle into his own chair.
"Okay, my name is Daniel Jackson, I'm a clinical psychologist who practices psychotherapy.
That's basically a mouthful for someone who's here to listen." He smiled.
A few of the guys chuckled and Jack thought the young man was off to a good start.
"So who wants to go first?" Daniel asked.
The crew all looked at Jack who rolled his eyes.
"Tell me your name and about Charlie Kawalsky." Daniel requested.
"Captain Jack O'Neill. I sent Kawalsky to his death."
The others protested until Daniel whistled and quieted them.
"Why do you think it's your fault Captain?" Daniel asked.
"I sent him inside and the building collapsed." Jack said matter of factly.
"Does anyone else feel responsible for Charlie Kawalsky's death?" Daniel looked around.
"I should have made sure he was right there before pulling out." Edwards admitted.
"I was closest to him when the explosion happened. I didn't even see if he'd started to leave when the
Captain ordered us out." Kearney replied.
Daniel asked a few more questions then let the men talk.
He observed Captain O'Neill withdraw as the others opened up.
While this meeting was a crisis intervetion to let the men deal with the sudden loss of their co-worker he could
see the Captain needed more so he mentally made a note to speak to Chief Hammond about one on one
sessions with the Captain.
"Isn't our hour up?" Jack asked when there was a lull.
"I'll see you all next week, same time." Daniel nodded and rose.
Several of the men thanked him as they left, he watched the Captain go then shut his door and
reached for the phone.
Jack waved to his co-workers as he climbed into his truck.
Dr. J's not too bad Jack. Good listener. You need a good listener.
"Drop dead Kawalsky." Jack muttered.
Already did.
Jack turned in the seat to glare at him and found it empty.
He sighed, rubbed his eyes then started his truck and left the hospital.
Jack was watching television when the Chief showed up.
"What brings you to my neighborhood?" He asked.
"How'd counseling go?" Hammond asked as Jack motioned him inside.
"We talked he listened, some of the guys seemed better." Jack shrugged.
"Dr. Jackson has requested private counseling with you." Hammond said.
"Why?" Jack asked suspiciously.
"To help with your guilt." Hammond answered.
"I'll be fine." Jack waved it off.
"With Dr. Jackson's help." Hammond replied.
"Chief--" jack started.
"This isn't a request Jack." Hammond said seriously.
"Fine!" Jack snapped.
"Let him help you son." Hammond said gently.
Jack folded his arms angrily.
"Is that all Chief Hammond?" Jack bit out formally.
"This Thursday at eleven a.m." Hammond informed him.
Jack opened the door.
"Son--" Hammond tried.
"I will report as ordered sir." Jack said all spit and polish.
George sighed and left.
"Damn it!" Jack cursed loudly.
Maybe you should tell him about your kid too.
"Shut up Kawalsky!" Jack snarled and stomped back to his chair paying no mind that Kawalsky
hadn't followed.
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Jack took a deep breath and opened the door.
"May I help you?" The receptionist asked.
"I have an appointment with Doc. Jackson." Jack ground out.
"Name?" The receptionist asked.
"Jack O'Neill." He replied.
"Right." The woman nodded looking at her computer, "Dr. Jackson is with another patient but the
session should be over soon, go ahead and have a seat." She smiled at him.
Jack dropped into a chair and picked up a magazine.
Travel mags? Figured he'd have 'Your Mental Health and You:How To Tell If You're Going Nuts.'
Jack gritted his teeth and ignored the figmentof Kawalsky, he looked up when the other door opened.
"Thank you so much Doctor Jackson." A woman said with evident relief.
"Just use the techniques you've learned." Daniel smiled.
"I will." The young woman back smiled and left the office.
"Come on in Captain." Daniel motioned him into the office.
Jack rose and went inside taking a deep breath when Daniel closed the door.
"Should I lay on the couch?" Jack joked.
"If you want, it's really comfortable." Daniel smiled, "Coffee?"
"No." Jack replied and took a seat in one of the chairs.
Daniel refilled his mug and sat at his desk.
Neither spoke.
"Aren't you suppose to probe my psyche?" Jack asked unable to stand the silence any longer.
"Talk or don't, that's up to you Captain." Daniel shrugged watching him.
Jack looked around the office avoiding the other man's gaze.
Two diplomas? Must be a brain. Wonder what he's got in the drawer?
Jack gripped the chair as Kawalsky moved behind the shrink.
"Are you alright?" Daniel asked concerned.
Jack looked back at the man startled, his eyes drifted up but there was no Kawalsky.
"How long have you been a firefighter?" Daniel tried another track.
"Eighteen years. How long you been a shrink?" Jack countered.
"Four years. How long was Kawalsky on the crew?" Daniel answered.
"Fifteen years, same as Ferretti." Jack replied.
"That's a long time." Daniel commented.
"Not long enough." Jack murmured.
"Long enough to know his job and how to do it properly." Daniel replied.
Jack looked at him sharply.
"Tell me what happened that day. Start with the call coming in and walk me through it." Daniel requested.
Jack sighed and thought back to it.
"We got the call at 6:42 a.m., house fire on Wexler Road. The guys and I suited up. I climbed into
the van with Lorne, the others took the trucks. We arrived three minutes later, the roof was on fire.
A neighbor told us an old man lived there, she didn't know if he was still inside or not. That's when..." Jack stopped.
"That's when you sent Kawalsky in?" Daniel prompted.
Jack nodded looking at his hands.
"Then what happened?" Daniel asked gently.
"We thought we had the fire under control but then there was an explosion. I ordered them to pull out.
It was only seconds when the roof caved in. Kawalsky didn't..." Jack trailed off reliving it.
"Make it out." Daniel finished.
"Yeah." Jack sighed.
"What kind of fireman was he?" Daniel asked.
"What?" Jack looked at him.
"Did he normally listen or was he a maverick?" Daniel asked.
"We depend on each other out there! You can't be a maverick in this job, it would get someone killed!" Jack
glared at him.
"So he would have pulled out when ordered." Daniel nodded.
"Yes!" Jack snapped.
"Then why didn't he?" Daniel asked gently.
"I don't know." Jack answered deflating.
"Edwards said he should have made sure Kawalsky was right there when the order was given and Kearney
said he was closest to Kawalsky's position during the explosion and didn't see if he was leaving...
maybe he didn't get out because he couldn't." Daniel reasoned.
Jack looked at him with haunted eyes.
"The explosion and roof collapse happened very quickly didn't it?" Daniel offered.
"Yeah." Jack nodded slowly.
"Maybe there simply wasn't time for him to get out."Daniel said quietly.
Silence filled the room for several moments.
"I left him behind." Jack whispered.
"No. You don't even know if he was alive." Daniel disagreed.
"It's my job--" Jack shook his head.
"To be omniscient? Is part of the job description to be all knowing?" Daniel replied.
Jack scowled at him.
"Kawalsky could have died crossing the street." Daniel pointed out.
"He died because I wasn't fast enough!" Jack snapped.
Jeez Jack. Try listening to the guy huh?
Jack threw a glare at Kawalsky.
"Then why didn't the others die?" Daniel asked, "Why not Kearney? He was standing closest to Kawalsky..."
He's got you there buddy, Kawalsky grinned.
"Isn't my time up?" Jack asked angrily.
"Actually no but we've made some progress." Daniel rose, "I'll see you Saturday at eleven."
"Whatever." Jack retorted and left.
Daniel sighed and sat back down to make notes of his observations.
Jack slammed his front door closed.
"He's trying to blame you Kawalsky! It's not your fault, it's mine." Jack spat.
'Cause you sent me in? Sorry Jack, it don't work that way and you know it. You ordered us to
pull out and I didn't make it out. Maybe I couldn't get out.
"I got you killed." Jack choked out.
Like you got your kid killed?
"Shut up!" Jack shouted at the figment who disappeared.
Jack got a beer from the refrigerator and headed for the couch to drink the night away.
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Monday night Jack was on his roof when Ferretti called up.
"Trying to wake the neighbors?" Jack asked.
"Can I come up Cap?" He asked.
"I'll come down." Jack answered and headed for the ladder.
Jack didn't allow anyone in his sanctuary.
Once on the ground he led Ferretti inside the house.
"Missed you at group." Ferretti said.
"Was busy." Jack shrugged and grabbed another beer.
He wasn't about to tell the man he had been seeing the shrink twice a week alone.
"I hate to say but...it's kinda helping you know? The Doc's alright." Ferretti grudgingly admitted.
Jack sipped his beer silently.
"Think you won't be busy next Monday?" Ferretti hinted.
There was an awkward silence.
"Well, Nancy and the kids are waiting, I'd better go." He said after a few minutes.
Jack nodded and walked him out.
"Cap, we lost Kawalsky, we don't want to lose you too." The subordinate said and hurried to his car.
Jack blinked back the moisture in his eyes.
"Crap." He murmured and closed the door as a tear fell.
Guess you'll be seeing Doc Jackson Thursday huh Jack?
"Yeah Kawalsky." Jack sighed and turned to the figment only to find himself alone.
With a deep sigh he headed to bed.
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Thursday came and he kept the appointment talking to Daniel who didn't mention
Jack having missed the previous Saturday's apppointment.
Kawalsky dropped in to offer his two cents and Jack did his best to ignore the figment.
It urged him to tell the doc he was there and Jack mentally told it to fuck off.
The Captain was drained by the time the session was over so he went home and crawled into bed.
When he woke he was shocked to see he'd slept three straight hours without a nightmare to wake him.
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It was Jack's fifth week in seeing the doctor when Daniel went to get him some water.
You ever gonna tell the doc about me? Kawalsky asked.
"No." Jack answered.
I'm hurt Cap.
"You're not real." Jack hissed.
Course not.
"Then why don't you go away?!?" Jack growled.
We've been over this Jack, Kawalsky sighed. I can't go until you let me.
"Damn it Kawalsky! Fine! I'm telling you to go away now!" Jack yelled.
Jack froze at the clearing throat, he slowly turned to see the young psychologist holding a carafe of water.
Busted Jack.
Jack squeezed his eyes shut in defeat.
Daniel poured a cup of water and placed it in Jack's hands raising it to his mouth.
"Drink." Daniel ordered.
The Captain opened his eyes and obeyed.
"Want to tell me what that was about?" Daniel asked sitting behind his desk.
"If I say Kawalsky's here now will it get me a reservation in the nut house?" Jack grinned warily.
"He talks to you?" Daniel asked.
"Yeeees." Jack watched him.
"What does he say?" Daniel wanted to know.
"That I should tell you about him." Jack replied.
Daniel nodded.
"I keep telling him he's not real and he agrees with me but when I tell him to go away he says he can't because
I created him." Jack added quickly standing and placing the cup on the desk.
Daniel was silent for a long moment and Jack inched toward the door.
"The mind is a very powerful thing. It must have created Kawalsky for a reason, one you either aren't
aware of yet...or one you can't accept." Daniel responded.
"What do you mean?" Jack frowned.
"What else does Kawalsky tell you?" Daniel asked.
Jack shrugged thinking back.
"He kind of sounds like me actually." Jack admitted.
"How so?" Daniel asked curiously.
"He says what I'm thinking. In fact he actually said that himself once." Jack's frown deepened.
"This is your minds way of communicating something to you." Daniel replied.
"Like what?" Jack frowned.
"That you aren't responsible for his death?" Daniel offered.
Jack sighed.
"Maybe you should talk to him, listen to what he's saying and write it down. We'll talk about it next
session?" Daniel advised.
Jack nodded reluctantly.
"I'll see you Saturday." Daniel smiled.
"Alright." Jack sighed.
The psychologist walked him out.
"Here, take my card, it has my cell number on it." Daniel offered it to him.
Jack looked at him a long moment then slipped the card into his pocket and left.
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Daniel was picking up his dry cleaning on Friday afternoon when his cell phone rang.
"Daniel Jackson." He answered absently.
'Hey Doc.' A slurred voice said.
"Who is this?" Daniel asked giving his attention to the slurred voice now.
'I'm hurt.' The voice replied.
"Okay, tell me where you are and I'll get help." Daniel said.
There was a laugh in response.
'Not hurt like that Doc. You don't remember me do you?' The voice sighed.
"Why don't you tell me where you are?" Daniel suggested ready to write it down and go there.
'With my son.' The voice whispered.
Daniel wracked his brain trying to figure out who he was speaking with.
"Okay, can you give me an address?" Daniel asked gently.
'David's Cemetary. My kid died five years ago today.' Came the soft answer.
Daniel heard the dial tone and hit the call back button, it went to voice mail.
"Jack O'Neill. Hang on Captain I'm coming." Daniel said and hurried to his car.
This isn't helping Jack.
"Shut up Kawalsky." Jack muttered.
Neither was your fault.
"Oh yeah? Charlie killed himself with my gun didn't he? And I sent you inside to your death didn't I?" Jack asked.
They were both accidents Jack.
"Oh God I'm sorry." Jack sobbed.
Daniel hurried from the custodians office with his map, he jumped into his car and followed the directions
the man marked for him.
Soon he pulled up behind a truck with a fire sticker in the back window.
Looking around he saw Captain O'Neill sitting beside a grave marker.
Daniel took a moment to visually assess the man before approaching.
With a deep breath he walked over.
"Captain O'Neill." Daniel said softly.
"Hey Doc, pull up a patch of grass and have a beer." Jack offered.
"Don't really like beer." Daniel admitted.
"Figures." Jack replied and took a large gulp from his bottle.
"How did your son die?" Daniel asked.
"I shot him." Jack said monotonely
"You...shot him?" Daniel repeated startled.
"Might as well have." Jack answered.
"What do you mean?" Daniel asked trying to understand.
"He got my gun and was playing around." Jack dropped his head.
"So it was an accident." Daniel nodded.
"Yeah, just like Kawalsky." Jack snorted taking a drink.
"So you blame yourself for two deaths." Daniel nodded.
"My fault." Jack answered.
"They were both accidents." Daniel refuted.
"No!" Jack denied vehemently.
"Did you give the gun to your son?" Daniel asked gently.
"Locked it up. Told him it wasn't a toy. He got mad at me when I yelled at him about the toy gun he had." Jack recalled.
"So he got your gun out? What did we talk about omniscience the other day?" Daniel reminded.
"I should've--" Jack started.
"Should've what? Should have known your son would disobey you and get your gun out of a locked box?
There's no way you could have known that. Hindsight is most often useless." Daniel answered.
"Can't forgive myself, but forget sometimes." Jack mumbled.
"I think maybe that's why Kawalsky is here...your mind is trying to tell you the guilt is killing you." Daniel said gently.
Jack shook his head as tears slipped down his cheeks.
Daniel pulled him into his arms and Jack broke down completely.
A while later Daniel managed to get Jack to his feet and into his car.
He picked up the beer bottles and drove to the custodians office where he dumped the bottles and informed the man Jack's truck was still there as he was in no shape to drive it.
Daniel drove Jack to his apartment and settled him on the couch.
He was glad for the breakthrough but knew they still had a long road ahead for the Captain's full recovery.
After leaving two aspirin and a bottle of water on the coffee table in front of the couch he turned the hall light off then
used the bathroom and left the light on there and the door open a crack in case the Captain needed to use it later.
Daniel changed into sweats and climbed into bed.
Tomorrow wouldn't be an easy day for the Captain and Daniel needed to be well rested for it.
Jack woke and sat up, his head pounding, he spotted the pills and water and downed both without conscious thought then rose to go up to his room.
He only registered something amiss when he encountered no stairs after walking several feet toward the light.
"Where the hell am I?" He wondered and took a look back at the livingroom that he realized wasn't his.
Turning toward the light he walked to it and was relieved to find a bathroom which he used.
Exiting after washing up he saw a door ajar and pushed it open a bit more.
Soft snores made him freeze then he looked inside.
"Doc?" Jack said softly and frowned.
Some memories of the previous few hours arose in his mind and he sighed.
Slowly he returned to the livingroom and sunk onto the couch and closed his eyes.
He'd gone to Charlie's gravesite and drank, calling the shrink on his cell.
"What did I tell him?" Jack groaned.
Laying down on the couch his hangover and sleep claimed him.
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Daniel woke at eight and shut off his alarm, he showered then headed to the kitchen checking on Captain O'Neill before
pulling a pan out to make breakfast for them both.
Once the coffee was done Daniel poured a mug and sipped it while tending to the eggs, he looked over and nearly jumped.
"You startled me. I hope you like eggs." Daniel smiled.
Jack shrugged and winced.
"Aspirin first?" Daniel asked in sympathy.
A slight nod in reply and Daniel pulled a bottle from the cupboard shaking two out he grabbed a bottle of water and handed both over to the man.
"My truck?" Jack asked once he taken the pills.
"At the cemetary. I'll take you once we've eaten." Daniel replied.
Jack sat at the table and watched, the curiosity was eating away at him.
"So what did I tell you?" Jack blurted out.
"How your son died. How you can't forgive yourself but can forget sometimes." Daniel answered honestly.
Jack hung his head.
Daniel turned the eggs down and walked over.
"Did you ever get counseling after your son died?" Daniel inquired.
Jack was silent.
"You need to talk about this but that can wait til tomorrow." Daniel said and gave his shoulder a squeeze before returning to their meal.
Jack was grateful for the days reprieve and felt oddly bereft when the shrink took his hand away.
They ate in mostly silence then Daniel took him to retrieve his truck.
Jack thanked him and headed home.
Daniel understood, the Captain would need his reserves for the session.
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Jack walked into the Doc's office the next day at eleven a.m. and didn't leave til after one p.m., he went home and
slept for five hours then ate and watched t.v.
Kawalsky didn't appear once.
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Daniel was eating lunch at his favorite diner on Sunday afternoon when he sensed a presence and looked up from his book.
"Hi." He smiled in surprise.
"Kinda crowded, mind if I..." Jack asked.
"Please." Daniel motioned to the chair.
"Thanks." Jack smiled as the waitress came over.
"Take your order hon?" She asked waiting to jot it down on a pad.
"Um...the club sandwich and iced tea." Jack decided.
"Got it." The waitress nodded and left them.
"i slept a long time yesterday." Jack told him.
"I'm not surprised, a draining session tends to do that." Daniel nodded.
"Can I ask you something?" Jack asked.
"Sure." Daniel nodded.
"Have you ever done the therapy thing? As a patient I mean." Jack clarified.
"To become a psychotherapist I had to undergo therapy myself in order to be able to separate my problems from my patients." Daniel nodded.
"It's nice to know even shrinks need help." Jack joked.
"Some more than others." Daniel said quietly.
Jack was curious as to what his problems were but didn't feel right to ask him.
Jack's lunch arrived quickly and he dug in.
"So what do shrinks do for fun?" Jack asked as he ate.
"Go to museums and analyse the mental faculties of the artist through their work." Daniel replied.
Jack stared at him open mouthed.
"That was a joke." Daniel said quickly.
"Oh." Jack replied relieved.
"Guess I shouldn't quit my day job huh?" Daniel smirked.
"Truthfully? No." Jack answered.
Daniel rolled his eyes and sipped his coffee.
"How about you Captain? What do you do for fun?" Daniel turned the question back on him.
"Movies. Sports. Hockey in particular." Jack smiled.
"Sports fan huh?" Daniel nodded.
"Yep. You?" Jack asked.
"Not really, I prefer concerts." Daniel replied.
Classical I bet,Jack mused as he ate, I wonder if he likes opera?
Jack froze a moment then slowly finished his meal.
Where the hell did that come from? He's a shrink for crying out loud!
"I have to get going, I have a few errands to run." Daniel said checking his watch then pulling his wallet out.
"I got it." Jack waved him off.
"Are you sure?" Daniel asked.
"Yeah, sort of a thanks." Jack replied.
"I was just doing--" Daniel started.
"Your job. Yeah, still...the whole cemetary thing..." Jack motioned.
"Well, thanks for lunch. I'll see you tomorrow. It's nice that you're helping your crew by coming to the sessions." Daniel smiled and rose.
"Hey, uh...If I came into a couple of game tickets would you be interested in going?" Jack asked.
"That's...not a good idea." Daniel answered a little uncomfortably.
"Why?" Jack frowned.
Just two guys watching a game for pete sake.
"As your therapist I have to keep this professional." Daniel smiled apologetically.
"Oh. Yeah, okay, sorry." Jack apologized.
Jack watched him go and sipped his tea, his thoughts awhirl.
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Monday's session went well, the men were not only talking about Kawalsky but other feelings over their work as well.
Jack found himself watching the doctor more and appreciating how he dealt with the men.
Jack knew from personal experience how good a listener the man was.
Daniel shook hands with each man as they left.
As he'd listened, he decided their formal sessions could end but if they still wanted to meet to talk about things he'd be amenable.
Jack was the last to go.
"See you Thursday?" Daniel asked.
"Yeah." Jack nodded.
"Good. Chief Hammond called me this afternoon, the new recruits are about to graduate. He wanted to know if you were ready to handle them. I told him yes." Daniel informed him.
"I'm not sure..." Jack frowned.
"I think you're ready to get back into the saddle and those recruits need someone with your sensibilities to guide them." Daniel stated.
"I...thanks." Jack replied embarrassed.
"You wouldn't hold the rank of Captain if you weren't capable. Believe in yourself, everyone else does." Daniel smiled.
Jack was surprised at how much the psychologists words meant to him.
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Wednesday morning came and Jack dressed in uniform then reported to work.
"Good to have you back son." Chief Hammond greeted with a paternal smile.
"Thank you sir." Jack replied.
"Hey Cap!" Ferretti greeted.
"Guys, ready for the recruits?" Jack asked the men gathered around him.
"Oh yeah." The Italian grinned evilly.
"Not too overboard." Jack warned.
"Not at all Cap." Ferretti agreed.
Jack shook his head and walked to the front of the garage where four new probationary members stood.
"Probie's! I'm Captain O'Neill. This is Engine Company 7. You do what I tell you or I'll personally kick your asses to the curb.
Got it?" Jack announced without preamble.
"Yes sir!" The foursome replied in unison.
Jack inspected each person.
The first was a muscular black man who couldn't hide his grin.
"Name?" Jack asked.
"Buick T. Jaffa sir." He replied enthusiastically.
"Buick?" Jack frowned.
"I prefer plain old T sir." He said.
"Don't blame you." Jack replied and moved on.
"Cameron Mitchell sir." Came the southern drawl.
"Cam or Cameron?" Jack asked.
"Either one is fine sir." Cam grinned.
Another baby faced man came next.
"Francis Elliott sir." He replied stiffly.
"Ellliott?" Jack asked.
"Yes sir." The man nodded.
"And you?" Jack asked coming to the end of the line.
"Samantha Carter. Sam, sir." Said the tall blond woman.
Jack nodded and turned to Griff.
"Show them to their bunks." Jack ordered.
"Yes sir." Griff smirked and led the probie's inside.
"Were you ever that young Cap?" Ferretti asked.
"Hell no!" Jack denied.
The pair laughed and Jack felt good.
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Daniel had barely sat down when Jack barreled into his office on Saturday.
"This is all your fault!" Jack fumed.
"Excuse me?" Daniel asked surprised.
"You said I was ready!" Jack answered pacing.
"Calm down. Sit down and tell me what happened." Daniel ordered.
" 'Just because my reproductive organs are on the inside doesn't mean I'm any less capable'. " Jack parroted.
Daniel looked at him confused.
" 'I'm sure you'll like me once you get to know me'." Jack snarked.
Daniel let him rant until he ran out of steam and dropped into the chair.
"Ready to tell me what this is about?" Daniel asked hiding his amusement.
"Her!" Jack muttered.
"Who?" Daniel frowned.
"Samantha 'Sam' Carter. One of the new recruits." Jack sighed.
"I take it you don't like her?" Daniel bit back a smile.
"She keeps trying to prove herself to us." Jack grumbled.
"She's a woman in a traditionally male field." Daniel pointed out.
"She's the Chief's god daughter to boot." Jack added.
"So she's there on a free pass?" Daniel tensed.
"No. The Chief would never put us at risk. Black, white, man or woman, if you can't do the job you're out. Lives depend on every single one of us knowing our jobs." Jack answered.
"So she's there because she's qualified?" Daniel sat back relaxing again.
"Yeah." Jack frowned again.
"She just gets on your nerves?" Daniel surmised.
"I sound like a whiny jerk." Jack sighed.
"Yeah." Daniel smiled.
Jack stuck his tongue out in reply.
"Anything else you want to talk about?" Daniel asked ignoring him.
"Not particularly." Jack shook his head.
Daniel rose and walked to the door.
"Get out." He ordered.
"What?" Jack asked shocked.
"You don't need a therapist anymore." Daniel smiled.
"I...don't?" Jack rose surprised.
"You've dealt with your guilt over your son and Kawalsky. I gave you techniques to deal with any other curveballs. You're gonna be okay." Daniel answered.
"I am? I am." Jack smiled.
"If you need to talk you have my card." Daniel reminded him.
"Hey, thanks." Jack grinned and walked over to him.
"Have a happy life Captain O'Neill." Daniel shook his hand.
"I think I will." Jack grinned and gave Daniel's hand a squeeze before he departed.
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Monday came and the firemen came for their usual session.
At the end of it Daniel told them they no longer needed his help but were welcome to come back if they wanted to talk informally.
Daniel knew he wouldn't see some of them again, especially the older men but he thought a few of the younger ones might take him up on the offer.
"Hey Doc." Ferretti said after the others had left.
"Ferretti." Daniel nodded to him.
"Cap asked me to give this to you." Ferretti said handing him a business sized envelope.
"Uh...okay. Thanks." Daniel answered puzzled.
"See ya doc. Thanks." Ferretti replied and left.
Daniel was curious so he opened the envelope and blinked at the ticket inside.
"Colorado Springs Philharmonic performance of Bach. June 22nd." Daniel murmured reading the ticket information.
Daniel looked at it a long moment then smiled slowly.
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Jack checked himself in the mirror, he hadn't worn and suit and tie for quite some time.
His hands shook slightly as he adjusted the tie.
God I'm nervous.
He took a deep breath,grabbed his keys and left.
The concert was over.
Doctor Daniel Jackson never showed up.
Jack felt like a complete idiot.
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Jack went to work as usual on Tuesday.
The crew chatted about various things and the probie's seemed to be getting on well enough with everyone.
No one mentioned going to see the shrink so Jack assumed they hadn't and couldn't ask them about him.
They responded to three fires that day, one in which Ferretti was injured and had to spend the night in the hospital.
Jack went to visit him the next day.
"Hey Doc." He greeted Janet Fraiser.
"Hi Cap, just looked in on Ferretti. He'll be released if his tests come back clean." She informed him.
"Mind if I poke my head in?" He asked.
"Nope, I'm headed that way myself." Janet said.
Jack nodded and followed her down the hall.
"Ferretti asked about Dr. Jackson, I didn't realize he was seeing a therapist." Janet mentioned.
"We had to go after Kawalsky..." Jack shrugged.
Janet nodded, she'd known most of the guys a long time.
"So is the shrink gonna drop by?" Jack asked casually.
"His receptionist said he had an emergency out of town and didn't know when he'd be back though he did tell her to
cancel this weeks sessions." Janet relayed and halted out a closed door, "He's in here."
"Thanks Doc." Jack nodded as she departed.
Is that why he didn't come to the concert? Was a patient in need of his help?
"Hey Cap." A new voice said.
"Kearney, Wells." Jack nodded as they reached for the door handle. "Hey, hold on, did you guys go to see Doc. Jackson this week?"
"Well..." Kearney looked embarrassed, "I came but his receptionist told us he was away,kinda sudden I guess."
Jack nodded thoughtfully as Wells pushed the door open.
They hung out with Ferretti for a while until his wife came then Doc. Fraiser said his tests looked good and released him with
strict orders to go home and take it easy the rest of the week.
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Friday found Jack back on duty and concentrating on the job rather than on Daniel Jackson.
At one scene he cut his hand and the Chief ordered him to ride in the medic to the hospital.
Janet shook her head upon seeing him, she stitched the cut up and wrapped it the gave him a couple of shots and
getting him painkillers and antibiotics to take with him.
Jack was standing at the elevator when the doors opened.
"Hey." He smiled dopily.
"Hi. You okay?" Daniel asked.
"Oh. Uh...stitches." Jack held up his hand.
"Had the good stuff huh? Need a ride?" Daniel smiled amused.
"I rode the ambulance over." Jack mentioned.
"Come on I'll take you home." Daniel shook his head and guided Jack onto the elevator.
"Thanks." Jack grinned as the doors closed.
Janet Fraiser looked down the hall and frowned.
Where the devil did he go?
'Doctor Fraiser to the ICU. Doctor Fraiser to the ICU.'
Janet hurried away at the page, all thoughts of Captain O'Neill vanished from her mind.
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Jack woke and smacked his lips.
He frowned at the cotton taste in his mouth.
Opening his eyes he blinked a few times then sat up with a frown.
I gotta stop falling a sleep on the couch, he sighed.
Rising Jack went into the kitchen and got a tall glass of water drinking the whole thing down at once.
"Better." He murmured to himself then headed to the bathroom where he carefully showered and dressed.
Returning to his livingroom he located his medications and read the instructions.
Deciding the pain was bearable he took an antibiotic and ate a banana before grabbing his keys and opening the door...
where he froze.
Where's my truck?!?
Jack closed his eyes trying to recall the previous nights activities.
The car accident scene...I cut my hand and rode in the ambulance to the hospital...Little Napolean stitching me up...
Her big honkin' needles...Jack frowned to himself.
With a sigh he closed his door and grabbed the cordless phone.
It was only a short time later that he heard a vehicle pull up, opening the door he door he found one of the enthusiastic recruits.
"Aren't you off-duty T?" Jack asked.
"Overtime sir. Bray says it's part of the job." He answered.
"Bray?" Jack asked closing the door behind him and guiding the young man back to his truck.
"My step-father." T answered climbing behind the wheel, "Well, not really my step-father. He stepped in when my dad died."
"He's a fireman?" Jack asked buckling up.
"Thirty years now." T nodded putting his own seatbelt on before starting the truck.
"That why you joined up?" Jack asked.
"Yes and no." T answered as they drove, "I always heard his stories, how scary some of the situations were but I also saw how proud he was when they saved a life. I wanted to do something that makes a difference."
Jack nodded thoughtfully.
"When I was eighteen the neighbors house caught fire, I got Mr. Effelmeyer out before the firemen got there. Their Chief praised me and that was that. I started at the fire center the next week." Jack told him.
T nodded, awed that the Captain was talking to him, a probie.
"Have kids T?" Jack asked.
"No sir, my girl Shanna and I are gonna wait a few years." He answered.
"Good. Get yourself established first son. Kids take a lot of energy but are worth it." Jack replied.
"You have kids sir?" T asked.
"I had a son. He died a few years ago." Jack answered,the pain
"I'm...I'm sorry." T replied quietly.
"Yeah, me too." Jack sighed.
They both were silent for a while.
"So tell me what happened after I went to the hospital." Jack requested.
T relayed the events and soon the were pulling into the firestation.
"Thanks probie." Jack nodded and climbed from the truck with relief to see his own parked nearby.
Not that he hadn't trusted Dixon when he called earlier to see if it was still there.
"You're welcome Captain." T nodded with a grin.
Jack smirked and went to his truck climbing inside and starting it.
With a wave T headed inside as Jack pulled away.
Janet Fraiser rubbed her eyes tiredly, it had been a long night.
"Hey Doc." Jack greeted.
"Hi. You okay?" Janet asked eyes going to his hand.
"Yeah. A little confused though." He frowned.
"How so?" Janet asked looking him over.
"I remember the run,the stitches and all but I don't remember getting home." He said looking at her for an answer.
"Doctor Jackson." Another voice answered.
"Excuse me?" Jack turned to the nurse at the desk.
"You left with Doctor Jackson." The nurse answered.
"I did?" Jack frowned trying to recall that.
"Thank you Laurel." Janet nodded.
"I wonder if he's here?" Jack said aloud.
"Let me check." Janet said and got on the computer.
Jack scratched his cheek as he waited.
"He took the day off." Janet reported.
"Got an address?" Jack asked.
Janet hesitated.
"I just want to thank him in person. I have no idea if I'll be by here again in the next few days." Jack added.
Janet decided it wouldn't do any harm to tell him where Doctor Jackson lived, he was the fire Captain afterall.
"Here you go." She said handing him the address a moment later.
"Thanks Doc." Jack nodded and headed for the elevator with it.
Janet reached for her pager as he left.
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Jack pulled up to the apartment building, a vague sense of familiarity when he saw it.
Should have paid more attention when I left here the last time.
Checking the paper he climbed from the car and went inside where he rode the elevator to the correct floor.
Exiting the elevator he rounded the corner and found the right door and knocked.
After several knocks with no reply he turned to leave, reaching the corner he ran into someone and stumbled into the wall.
"Oh jeez! Sorry!" Jack apologized.
"My fault." A muffled,but familiar voice replied.
"Doc?" Jack asked.
The man looked up from gathering his groceries of the floor.
"Captain O'Neill? What are you doing here?" Daniel asked surprised.
"Came to thank you." Jack replied as he retrieved some of the items too.
"For what?" Daniel nodded his thanks when Jack put the pack of candy in the bag he still held.
"Running me home yesterday, it was nice of you." Jack smiled.
"I was there, you needed a ride..." Daniel shrugged.
"Still." Jack said.
"Well, I owe you an apology. I had every intention of joining you at the concert but something came up." Daniel apologized.
"Yeah, I heard you were out of town, everything okay?" Jack asked.
Daniel sighed and carried his groceries to the door, unlocked it then motioned Jack inside before closing it behind them.
Jack watched him put the groceries away, fold the bags up and put them away then he placed his hands on the counter and bowed his head.
"Who does a therapist talk to?" Jack asked gently, "A friend perhaps." He added opening his arms.
Daniel looked up and gave him a small smile.
"My grandfather died." Daniel told him.
"I'm sorry." Jack said sincerely.
"We weren't particularly close but he was my only family." Daniel shrugged.
Jack rubbed his back without thought.
"If you want to talk I'll listen." He offered.
"Thanks but I'm okay, like I said, we weren't close." Daniel shrugged again.
"How about I take you to lunch?" Jack smiled.
"It's only ten a.m." Daniel answered glancing at the clock.
"So we'll go to Denver." Jack nudged him.
Daniel shook his head then smiled.
"Let's go." He agreed and left the apartment.
The men chatted about movies, opera, books and all sorts of things, before they knew it they had arrived.
Jack pulled into the lot of his favorite eatery in town and they got out of the truck and went inside.
The pair ate, laughed and joked around enjoying each others company.
All too soon they were headed back to Colorado Springs.
"Thanks for lunch, it was nice to smile for a while Captain." Daniel said.
"The name's Jack. Anytime you need a laugh I'm your man." Jack answered.
"Daniel." He smiled back.
Daniel felt better than he had all week.
He had shed a few tears at his grandfather's funeral but it was the things left to him that had made him really cry.
He had needed to smile again and his new friend had done that for him.
"Well, here we are." Jack motioned as they arrived back at Daniel's place.
"Thanks again." Daniel smiled.
"Welcome." Jack smiled back.
Daniel opened the door to get out of the truck.
"Listen, if I happen to come into tickets for something else would you be interested?" Jack asked.
"Uh...okay." Daniel agreed.
"Great." Jack grinned.
"Bye." Daniel smiled back.
"Bye Daniel." Jack said with a smile of his own.
Daniel closed the door and headed for the apartment complex, he turned and waved to Jack before going inside.
Jack smiled to himself as he drove off.
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Daniel was organizing his patient notes a week later when his cell phone rang.
"Daniel Jackson." He answered absently.
'Hey, I just got tickets for a movie on Monday...' Jack offered.
"What time?" Daniel smiled.
'It starts at seven. I'll pick you up at five and we'll eat somewhere first?' Jack offered.
"I'll see you Monday." Daniel agreed.
'See ya then Danny.' Jack answered.
Daniel chuckled as he hung up.
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The knock at the door had Daniel pulling on his shirt quickly before opening it for Jack.
"Ready?" Jack asked.
"Give me another minute." Daniel requested and headed down the hallway.
Jack took the time to look around Daniel's place.
A couch, two comfy chairs and a pair of end tables with craftsman style lamps filled out the livingroom.
A quick glance into the kitchen revealed a small wooden table with two matching chairs, there was a
microwave oven on the counter and a high end coffee maker.
Amused he turned his attention back to the livingroom and spotted a few photo's so he went over and looked at them.
"That's my parents and I." Daniel said joining him.
"They look old, the photo's I mean." Jack replied turning to him.
"I was a child." Daniel smirked.
"So what do they think of their son the shrink?" Jack asked.
"They died a long time ago." Daniel answered tersely.
You are a grade a idiot O'Neill.
"I'm sorry. I didn't..." Jack tried to apologize.
"No, you didn't. Let's go okay?" Daniel said and headed for the door.
Jack followed feeling terrible for the gaff.
"I feel really bad about before." Jack said as they drove away.
"I meant it Jack. You didn't know so there's no reason for you to feel bad." Daniel replied and squeezed his shoulder.
"You told me your grandfather was your only living relative, I forgot. I'm sorry." Jack apologized.
"No reason that you should have remembered." Daniel smiled at him.
They were silent for a while until Jack spoke again.
"Where were those photo's taken?" Jack asked hoping for a happier topic.
"Egypt. My parent's were archeologists. They were killed setting up a display in New York." Daniel answered.
"How old were you?" Jack asked gently.
"Eight." Daniel answered.
"Man." Jack shook his head.
"Yeah. I went into foster care." Daniel shrugged.
Could that be why he 'needed help a little more than other shrinks'?
Jack pulled into the parking lot of the sports bar and the men went inside to eat.
After dinner they attended the movie and chatted about it on the way home.
"So what did you think?" Jack asked.
"Not my usual fare but it was good." Daniel nodded.
"What is your usual?" Jack inquired.
"Foreign language films." Daniel answered.
"Subtitles." Jack rolled his eyes.
Daniel looked away.
"Hey?" Jack touched his arm.
"I speak a lot of languages." Daniel admitted.
"Really?" Jack asked impressed.
"It just came easily." Daniel shrugged, "It helped me feel close to my parents."
"Not archeology?" Jack asked.
"Too painful." Daniel admitted.
"Well, can I say you're where you should be?" Jack smiled.
"Thanks." Daniel blushed.
Jack cleared his throat and turned back to the road and soon they arrived back at Daniel's place.
"Thanks for tonight." Daniel said making no move to get out of the truck.
"I'll walk you up?" Jack asked.
Daniel nodded and they parked then went inside the building and took the elevator to Daniel's floor.
Jack walked him to the door and Daniel opened it then turned to him.
"I should...go..." Jack breathed looking at him.
Daniel nodded not taking his eyes off Jack.
Jack turned to go then growled and turned back kissing him.
"I'm so screwed." He breathed when the kiss ended.
"Not yet." Daniel replied and pulled him inside and closed the door locking it.
Jack fell onto the man below him panting.
"The last time I came that fast I was sixteen!" He uttered.
"I'll take that as a compliment." Daniel replied smugly.
Jack chuckled and looked at him tenderly.
"I knew we'd end up here." Daniel said.
"You did?" Jack frowned.
"We had sexual tension." Daniel nodded.
"We did?" Jack wondered.
"We did." Daniel assured him.
"I guess we did." Jack grinned and kissed him again, "I used to hate Mondays."
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3 Years Later
"Chief O'Neill." A welcome voice said.
Jack grinned at his remaining guest.
"I like a man in uniform." They added.
"Really Doctor Jackson?" Jack smirked.
Daniel smiled and nodded.
"But I like one thing better." Daniel walked over to him.
"What would that be?" Jack grinned.
"A man out of uniform." Daniel smirked and undid Jack's tie and led him upstairs.
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4 Years after that
"T?" Jack asked.
Daniel dropped next to Jack on their couch and stretched.
"He's gonna be fine." Daniel assured him.
"Good, I know this whole transplant thing has been weighing on him." Jack nodded.
"They're good people, T, Bray and Shanna." Daniel said.
"Yep." Jack agreed and started massaging Daniel's shoulders.
"Thanks." Daniel murmured closing his eyes.
"I think I'm gonna retire this year." Jack announced.
Daniel turned to him surprised.
"I'll have my time in, now the kids need to take over." Jack nodded.
Daniel carressed his face and kissed him.
"I love you Jack." Daniel said tenderly.
"Love you too Danny." Jack smiled.
Jack stood, took his hand and pulled Daniel up then led him upstairs to show him how much.