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“I don’t see why I have to accompany you on your quest to fondle the Clone, Drake,” Damian spat from the passenger seat, choosing to ignore the lush greenery of Kansas farmland whizzing past the car windows.
Tim couldn’t find it in himself to care about Damian’s taunts, his thoughts too focused on plundering Kon’s virtue. “Because, brat, no one else is available to supervise you. Alfie’s with Bruce in Japan, Cass and Dick are undercover, and Jason is taking Red Rodent to the vet. I had a date that I wasn’t going to postpone, so that means you have to come with.”
“Bah!” Damian huffed, throwing his hands up like a tiny Victorian aristocrat. “What am I supposed to do while you attempt to abuse your arse with the Clone’s genitals? I will be bored out of my skull!”
“Oh my god, don’t talk about Kon’s genitals, you creep,” Tim squeaked, “and you won’t be alone. Uncle Clark will be home, as will Ma Kent and Jon.”
“Who is Jo- oh!” Damian stopped abruptly as Tim slowed down, allowing a horse to canter past. Damian watched, enraptured, as the grey beauty trotted ahead. “Amanat,” Damian muttered, pressing his button nose against the window.
“Come again?”
“He looks like Amanat,” Damian muttered absently, “my horse at home, with Mother.”
Tim smiled softly at the still wonderstruck boy, and made a mental note to drop Talia a line to tell her to include an update of the horse in her next creepy letter for Damian. They slowly rolled up to the Kent Farm, and Tim let Damian out before flinging himself into Kon’s arms.
“Ravish me, Kon,” Tim ordered breathily, and Kon, obedient boyfriend that he was, promptly initiated the Ravishing.
Halfway through said Ravishing, Clark’s voice rang out from the house. “Hey, be careful Damian!” he cried, and sped out. He scooped Damian up and away from the horse that Damian had been stroking and talking to. “Bethany here is a wild one. You can’t just approach a horse like that,” he said sternly.
Both Bethany-the-horse and Damian fixed Clark with a very Bruce-like look of disapproval, which jarred him. “I know horses, Kent, and this one is a good horse of noble breeding. She would never attack one of her well-wishers, would you?” Damian turned and asked the horse, who whinnied approvingly.
“Oh,” Clark said, blushing, but didn’t let Damian down. It was unheard of for the latest Robin to come running up to him, hug him, or ask him to fly, and that broke Clark’s heart just a little bit.
“Kent, please release me,” Damian said calmly. Damian dropped expertly to the ground and was dusting off his trousers when a small voice added itself to the mix.
“Dad, who’s this?”
Damian looked up to see a small child gripping Kent’s trouser leg and watching him with wide eyes. Damian straightened up and offered his hand to the boy. “You must be the Little Kent.”
“I’m Jon,” the boy beamed. “I’m eight years old, and my favorite colour is blue.”
“I am Damian, scion of the houses of Al Ghul and Wayne. I am eleven years old, and my favorite colour is green, the same shade as the Lazarus Pit.”
“Huh?” Jon looked confused as Clark slapped a horrified hand over his mouth. Jon quickly forgot about the strange pit, and instead said, “I saw you talking to Bethany. Daddy doesn’t allow me to get to close to the horses or ride them at all, ‘cause he says I’ll get hurt. Can you ride? I’ve always wanted to.”
Kon and Tim stopped necking in order to look at Clark incredulously. “Are you serious?” Kon asked. “I saw Jon lift the tractor yesterday.”
“It was the small one!” Clark defended himself.
“It was still a tractor, Clark,” Kon replied, and then added, “you huge noob.”
“Kent,” Damian said, drawing Clark’s attention down again, “I swear upon my honor as a Wayne, and my noble lineage as an Al Ghul that if you allow me to train your son in the art of horseback riding, that he will be unharmed.”
Clark stared. “I...um...”
“Please, daddy?” Jon asked, pulling at Clark’s heartstrings.
“Well, all right,” Clark allowed. “But I’ll be here the whole time, watching. Damian, if you need a hand, you only need to say so.”
Damian bowed at the waist. “Then the deal is done. Would you like to seal it with a blood pact?” He asked, drawing out a thin blade that he had secreted upon his person.
“No!” Clark said hurriedly, as Jon’s eyes bugged out of his head.
“Very well. Come, Little Kent,” Damian said, taking Jon’s tiny hand in his equally tiny hand, “let us begin.”
The afternoon passed with Damian perched behind Jon on the amused mare, as she cantered around the farm. Clark took as many pictures as he could, and posted them to his Cute Things chat group.
Cute Things (uwu)
You, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Diana Prince, and Arthur Curry are part of this group
Me: >> dami and jon.jpeg
Me: Soooo cuuutee!
Dick Grayson: OMG they’re adorable! I want one!!
Bruce: NO
Diana: Stop bullying people, Bruce. Dick, you can have as many babies as you want.
Dick: Thanks, Diana (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ
Diana: (づ￣ ³￣)づ
Bruce: You’re all ridiculous.
Clark smiled. Perhaps Bruce was right, but that wasn’t going to stop Clark from trying to steal a glimmer of happiness from an otherwise battle hardened life. He raised his phone once more to snap another picture of Damian carefully instructing Jon on how to brush a horse’s mane.
Dick is going to love me for this, Clark thought as he sent the picture to the chat group, and watched it explode with squee-ing.
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After the riding lesson, Damian and Jon were led inside for warm milk and apple crumble. Martha “Ma” Kent took one look at Damian and proceeded to adopt him.
“You are such a sweetie,” Martha gushed, patting Damian’s head and eliciting a frog-like grin from the boy. “Jon is so lucky to have an older friend like you who takes such good care of him. I bet you’d make a wonderful big brother.”
Damian looked thoughtful and looked at Tim, who shook his head. “No can do, Dames. The omega radiation toasted Bruce’s testes. You’ll just have to wait until Dick or Jason decide to have babies.”
“Hmph,” Damian huffed in annoyance, and tucked into his apple crumble while Jon nattered on about how cool Damian was and did you know that Dami can stand up on the horse, dad? It was amazing! And then he started to balance knives!
Clark choked on his milk and made a mental note to talk to Bruce about age appropriate fun-time.
“Thank you, Little Kent,” Damian said magnanimously, “given time, I shall take you under my wing and you too will throw knives whilst standing on a charging horse.”
“Cool!”
“No!” Clark squeaked, “No knives!”
“Tt.”
The rest of the evening passed with Damian doing more inadvertently cute things with Jon while Ma and Clark cooed over them, and Tim seductively milking a cow in order to entice Kon into ravishing him again.
(It worked).
By nightfall, Tim had fallen asleep, knackered by all the ferocious necking that he and Kon had done that day. Clark snapped another picture of Tim and Kon cuddled up together and sent it to the Cute Things group.
Me: >> tim and kon.jpeg
Me: @Bruce can the boys stay over tonite? The girls, Dick, and Jason can handle business back home.
Bruce: They can stay.
Bruce: Move Tim off of Kon’s chest
Arthur: It’s kinda weird that Tim is dating your clone @Clark
Clark: We don’t talk about that, Arthur
“Damian,” Clark called, “you two are staying over tonight. Why don’t you borrow some of Jon’s clothes?”
“Very well,” Damian said, bowing.
Damian went upstairs to change, which allowed Clark to move a sleeping Tim to the upstairs bed. The boy whined at the loss of Kon, and sleepily pawed the empty space beside him. Damian came in just then, dressed in tiny green shorts and a matching shirt.
“Tt. Such clinginess,” he muttered loftily, but crawled into bed next to Tim, allowing the older boy to snuggle him. Clark smiled softly and tucked Jon in next to Damian, leaving Kon to lie down beside his little brother. Kon looked at Tim over the barriers in between them that were their little brothers.
“Come morning, and I shall have you in my arms again, my caffeinated corncob,” Kon whispered lustily.
“Disgusting, Clone,” Damian muttered, while Jon giggled.
“I’ll pray for your lust filled soul, Kon,” Clark told him, “and I’ll ask Rao to purify your dirty, horny, mind.”
“Then you’d better pray for the rest of my body as well,” Kon sneered.
Clark gasped. “You keep your appendages away from Tim, he’s a Good Boy, and I won’t have you deflowering him before marriage!”
“Whatever, goober,” Kon said good-naturedly. “Go back to your big, lonely, bed, and wank by yourself.”
“Daddy, what’s wank?” Jon asked sleepily.
“Kon-El Kent!” Clark gasped, “you wait till Lois gets home from work! She’ll set you straight! Jon, honey, you go to bed now, there’s a good boy,” Clark said firmly. Jon giggled and closed his eyes, and Clark left the room to video call his wife.
Lois answered promptly and soon, Clark was graced with the vision of his lovely better half. “Hi honey,” Lois beamed, “how’s your day been? How’s Jon?”
“It’s been great,” Clark grinned. “Jon made friends with Damian today, although I think Damian’s trying to groom Jon into being his sidekick.”
“That’s wonderful,” Lois said genuinely. “Jon’s so shy, I’m glad that he made a friend. And what about Kon? How did his date go?”
Clark closed his eyes as the visions of Tim and Kon entwined around each other danced across them. “Did you know,” Clark whispered scandalously, “that they were rutting against each other? Like cows!” Lois burst out laughing, and Clark whined. “Lois, they were almost mooing!”
“Oh, Clark,” Lois laughed, wiping tears from her eyes, “you’re adorable. And people don’t moo on the throes of passion, honey, they moan.”
Clark pouted. “You know what I mean.”
“Sure I do,” Lois said cheekily. “After all, you’re quite the moaner yourself.”
“Lois Lane!”
Clark fell asleep that night to the sound of his wife’s amused laughter.
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