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"Jesus christ did someone punch you in the neck?" was the disgusted scream that woke Yoongi from his nap on Jimin's (very soft and very very comfortable) shoulder at two o'clock in the afternoon. He didn't even have to open his eyes to know who the scream was directed at.
"Sounds like you're jealous." Taehyung sung. Jimin snorted at that and the slight movement of his shoulders caused Yoongi's head to slip forward a little, leaving the elder no choice but to open his eyes to readjust himself.
"Jealous of a man who looks like he was mauled by a dog? Unlikely." Hoseok snorted. Yoongi rolled his eyes, taking a good look at the man in question. Even by Taehyung and Jungkook's standards (and rumour had it that Taehyung had sucked Jungkook off in the back of a movie theatre one time) (it wasn't a rumour and Taehyung was actually very proud of this) the hickey that was covering a great deal of the left side of Taehyung's neck was completely ridiculous. Parts of it were yellow and faded, indicating that this particularly ridiculous display of 'How Possessive Can Jeon Jungkook Be Today' had been a work of art carefully created over many days, but a section in particular that Yoongi assumed Hoseok was whining about, right in the junction where Taehyung's neck met his shoulder, was a mark so dark blue it was almost black and DAMN there was no way that couldn't have hurt.
"Jesus Jungkook did you hit his neck with a baseball bat or something?" Yoongi groaned under his breath. Jimin laughed so prettily at that it was almost worth it.
"Excuse me?" Jungkook screeched, wrapping an arm around Taehyung's waist protectively and shooting a glare Yoongi's way. "I love my boyfriend okay, I adore him and worship the ground he walks on!"
"And this mark is from the incredibly amazing sex we have on a regular basis thanks." Taehyung chimed in (not so) helpfully. Hoseok, Jimin and Yoongi's combined groan probably holds a world record for being the loudest or the longest or something. Still, the sound of Jungkook and Taehyung doing their stupid and annoying (adorable and funny) handshake could still be heard over the top of it, and Yoongi gave an internal wave goodbye to his nap.
"Why are you both so bothered anyway?" Taehyung asked with a cheeky smile, pushing Jungkook down so he was sitting on the floor beside the already occupied couch, kicking the younger boys legs out and settling himself between them.
"It's almost as if neither of you have been getting laid and are taking it out on us." Jungkook joined in, finishing Taehyung's thought.
"Bitch I got laid last night!" Hoseok practically screamed, pulling down his shirt collar to reveal a hickey of his own (which was nowhere near as massive and disgusting as Taehyung's, thank goodness).
"Ahh... so just Yoongi then." The youngest pair said creepily in perfect synchronisation, turning to face the man in question.
"I--uh - I get laid." Yoongi coughed out, awkwardly moving himself away from where he had been pressed up to Jimin's side.
"Really?" Jungkook snorted.
"When?" Taehyung countered.
"Umm, well you know I've been busy with recording and stuff for school so like it's been two? Two months I guess." Yoongi groaned, knowing Hoseok already knew the answer anyway (and would definitely dob him in if he lied) so hopefully this display of honesty would be reason enough for the two lovebirds to let this slide.
Min Yoongi is a clueless, clueless man.
"Huh. Say Jungkookie, the light and love of my life, what drastic life event could have occurred two months ago for our dearest Yoongikins to stop having sex hmm?" Taehyung asked. Yoongi threw a pillow at his head and stood up from the couch, leaving the warmth at Jimin’s side behind.
"Well baby, I think that would HAVE to be Jimin moving into his apartment." Jungkook said with a sly smile.
Yoongi felt his soul leave his body.
"Guys please stop we TALKED ABOUT THIS, let it go! Now is not the time!" Yoongi groaned, throwing himself down into the twin devils laps while also trying to cover their mouths with his hands. As to be expected, this had no effect whatsoever.
"Huh. Jungkookie do you think there really could be a correlation between the two?" Taehyung shouted past Yoongi's hand.
The fore mentioned suffering soul stood up at this, and in a shocking display of physical movement never seen before by one certain Min Yoongi, quickly grabbed Jimin’s hand, pulling him in a half run towards the door.
"C'mon Jimin they're being stupid, let's go home!" Yoongi wailed. Jimin kept his feel planted firmly on the ground (Jungkook and Taehyung's arms wrapped around each of Jimin's legs in turn certainly didn't help Yoongi's case) and refused to move.
"What's even happening Yoongi?" Jimin giggled, "I'm so confused."
"Well Jimin," Jungkook began.
"Don't!"
"What my dearest Tae baby here is ever so tastefully alluding to,"
"Jeon Jungkook I swear to-"
"Is that Yoongi here hasn't been having sex recently,"
Yoongi fell to his knees.
"Because he is in love with you."
Silence.
Earth shattering silence.
And then...
Oh wait, we're getting ahead of ourselves here. Let's take a few steps back.
"Umm, because it's disgusting?" Hoseok offered, plonking himself down at the table, Seokjin and Namjoon in tow. "Like, I don't really know the context, but I have a feeling that's the right answer."
“Did you just call my dick disgusting?” Jungkook gasped.
“Baby trust me, it is soooooo far from disgusting.” Taehyung sung back.
And with that, all chaos ensued, Taehyung trying to defend Jungkook’s honour from Hoseok, Seokjin stating that it doesn’t matter how nice Jungkook’s dick is, because it could never be as nice as his own, Namjoon choking on his sandwich at that statement, Hoseok implying that the sandwich isn’t the only thing Namjoon would be chocking on that day, Taehyung laughing so hard at that statement he fell off Jungkook’s lap and onto the floor, Jungkook being set into a fit because Taehyung hit his head on the way down and now his baby was hurting and Hoseok better watch out!!!! A mess. Jimin tried to block out the crazy and enjoy is own lunch.
“It’s kind of nice though, isn’t it?” Yoongi said from beside him.
Jimin nodded.
“Yeah, of course it is. They really are so perfect for each other.” He said quietly.
“It would be nice, to, you know, have something like that.” Yoongi said, turning to Jimin and smiling weakly.
“Yeah, I’d like that too! But I know when I find him, I’m not going to make my housemate listen to us roll playing at 10am on a Tuesday morning making them too scared to leave their room because if it’s that loud, they’re probably fucking in the living room.” Jimin groaned. Yoongi almost choked on his coffee.
“They didn’t” he gasped.
“They did. I was actually thinking of finding a new place. Like, not just because of that, but Tae and Jungkookie will probably want to move to a smaller place of their own soon you know? So I might as well make it easy for them.” Jimin said with a smile.
“You’re so soft for them.” Yoongi snorted.
“Well yeah, they’re my OTP.” Jimin cooed. Cute, Yoongi thought. Cute. Cute. Cute.
“Well, you can always come stay with me for now if you want.” Yoongi suggested. Jimin beamed.
“Really? I would love that! Are you sure you wouldn’t mind? I know how much you love having an apartment to yourself?” Jimin sung out.
Yoongi was his best friend. He made Jimin feel safe. He would love to live with the older male.
“I wouldn’t mind for you, Jiminie.” Yoongi said softly. Jimin blushed.
“And you say I’m soft?” Jimin whispered with a roll of his eyes, turning his attention back to the scene still unfolding in front of him.
(Taehyung was still on the ground, laughing uncontrollably as Jungkook chased Hoseok around, trying to hit him with a chunk of ham he must have gotten off one of the sandwiches Seokjin had convinced the woman at the cafeteria to give him.)
Yoongi’s attention, however, stuck firmly on Jimin.
He looked especially beautiful today, Yoongi decided, the way he smiled so brightly while watching their (idiot) friends. Yoongi could get used to that smile on a daily basis. A waking up next to that smile every morning and making it breakfast and kissing it goodbye when it left for class kind of basis.
And just like that, Yoongi had a plan.
And so, operation "Get Park Jimin Into My Apartment (And Also My Heart)" was born.
An operation, as it turned out, was a lot easier in theory than it was in practise.
Jimin and Yoongi had been friends for years, and Yoongi had been harbouring a teeny tiny (read; massive) crush on the younger male for a majority of that time. It's not like he hadn't been dropping hints, he'd been dropping them left, right and centre for as long as he could remember, but they were just never very well received. Or received, at all really. Jimin just didn't seem to notice. Yoongi gathered that having Jimin actually living in his apartment would help to speed this entire process along which was actually a very solid assumption to make. If Jimin was actually ever in the apartment. Because he wasn't. At all. Except to sleep but usually at nights Yoongi locks himself up in his room to work on his music so by the time Jimin came home he was already stashed away, door locked and earphones in, and Yoongi never even really saw Jimin at all and it was driving him crazy.
It was almost two weeks after Jimin had moving in that Yoongi managed to secure him all to himself for a night. A whole night. Alone. The perfect environment for 'Phase 1 - Accidental Cuddling' to begin. The plan was simple. Watch a movie. Cuddle.
Yoongi saw no need to mess with the classics.
"Jimin, did you want to watch a movie with me tonight?" Yoongi asked the younger male as he walked into the kitchen and found his cooking something there
"Oh sure!" Jimin said with a bright smile, "I was just cooking us both something for dinner. Maybe we could eat it out in front of the tv together?"
Yoongi smiled at that. Maybe the whole Jimin hiding away from him thing was a figment of his imagination after all. Of course, Jimin was busy. He had just moved into a new house and had to move all his stuff in and Taehyung and Jungkook had just moved into a new apartment nearby which Jimin had been helping them set up and Jungkook had just bought an Xbox so Jimin was probably playing that with him and wow. Yoongi felt stupid. Jimin wasn't avoiding him.
Probably.
But when Jimin sat down on the floor away from Yoongi instead of beside him on a couch that would comfortably seat three people, shoulders a little stiff and eyes trained much too intensely on the television, something still felt off.
"What are you doing?" Yoongi snapped. Jimin looked up at him in shock with wide brown eyes.
"What do you mean Yoongi?" Jimin questioned. Yoongi rolled his eyes.
"Get up here and sit with me."
And Jimin did, raising gracefully to his feel a respectful distance from the other on the couch, but his shoulders still looked a little stiff.
"What's wrong?" Yoongi asked. Bluntly. Probably not so romantic now that he thinks about it, maybe he should tweak phase 2 a little bit and fix that right on up.
"Nothing!" Jimin squeaked, "I just didn't want to be bothersome to you in your home."
Ah.
"Jimin this is your home too now and anyway, you are never bothersome to me." Yoongi said with a chuckle.
Jimin smiled brightly at that, and Yoongi’s heart soared.
"Ah! Really? I am glad." he said with a giggle.
Yoongi reached his arm around the younger boy and pulled him close, hand resting on his shoulder.
"Perfect, now let's start the movie and eat." he said.
And just like that, phase 1 was complete. Yoongi was good at this whole planning thing.
Even if he had to spend the whole movie trying use his chopsticks with his left hand so he wouldn't have to move his arm from around Jimin's shoulders he counted it as a win (and when Jimin fell asleep with his head on Yoongi's chest... jackpot).
'Phase 2 - Flirting' was a little bit harder to implement. Of course, it could happen at almost any time, but Yoongi was so damn nervous about it that any time he tried to flirt it just came out in a stuttering mess.
"Y-you look, um, the hair. It's good." is what the poor soul had told Jimin earlier that morning as the younger boy had been leaving for class. Smooth. He had also mentioned the night before something about how Jimin had really pretty hands that were probably perfect for holding things and Yoongi had wanted to die when Jimin shot him a confused look because what????? the heck????? Yoongi would shoot a funny look at himself for that one too.
It had been four horrible, embarrassing days of stuttering and blushing and wanting the ground to swallow him whole that had lead up to this moment. This moment being at Namjoon's apartment, to ask his two best friends for advice. Advice on his love life.
Gross.
But desperate times call for desperate measures.
"So, what's this life-threatening emergency?" Hoseok asked in way of saying hello as he opened the door, resulting in an eyeroll from the other male.
"No hello?" Yoongi groaned.
"Guys, can we get to it please?" Namjoon called out from where he was already seated on the couch further into the apartment. Yoongi ducked under Hoseok’s outstretched arm and joined his other friend where he was seated.
“Listen, I need to ask you both for some advi-” Yoongi began.
“Advice?” Hoseok screeched, “this really must be life threatening.”
“Shut u-”
“Remember when Yoongi broke like 4 toes on his right foot and drove himself to the hospital anyway because he didn’t want to ask for help?” Namjoon cut him off.
“Oh my god! Remember when his car broke down and he tried to jump start the battery himself with some dodgy old spare that he should have thrown away way before, and almost electrocuted himself?” Hoseok chimed in.
“I knew this was going to be a bad idea. Please just let me-”
“No no no, dude wait. Do you remember that time he was convinced that a parachute wasn’t eve-”
“It’s about Jimin!” Yoongi groaned.
Finally, silence.
For a second at least.
“Oh, thank fucking god, you’re going to ask him out.” Hoseok said, throwing himself down onto the couch at Yoongi’s side.
“Hobi, don’t swear!”
“Min Yoongi I will swear if the moment allows for it, and this moment does. About fucking time.”
“I’m with him on that one,” Namjoon agreed, clapping a comforting hand on Yoongi’s shoulder, “so, when are you going to do it?”
“I didn’t even say that I was going to ask him out!” Yoongi gasped. The other two boys rolled their eyes in perfect synchronisation.
“Well, that goes without saying. So, what’s the problem? Do you need help picking a place to take him or something?” Hoseok asked.
“What, no? Fuck, you’re 10 steps ahead. I need help convincing him to actually go out with me in the first place.”
Hoseok began laughing uncontrollably at that, clutching his sides and throwing himself onto Yoongi’s shoulder. The later mentioned man shrugging him off with a groan.
“Have you considered just asking him out? Point blank, straight to the point. I can’t see him saying no.” Namjoon supplied, ignoring Hoseok’s hysterics. Yoongi rolled his eyes.
“No. I don’t want it to come out of the blue and be a surprise, I want to warm him up to the idea of it first, so he doesn’t say yes out of shock or whatever.”
“HA! A surprise.” Hoseok managed to cry out before dissolving back into uncontrolled laughter. Yoongi shoved him off the couch and onto the floor, where he remained in a laughing, gasping mess.
“Hoseok can you fucking not.”
“Surprise, that’s fucking hilarious.”
“Stop swearing!”
“Oh, so you can swear but I can’t?”
“You’re too wholesome to swear!”
“Guys I really think if Yoongi wants to solve his issue, we should take a step back, cool off and come at it again from another angle, so how about firstly, Hoseok, you stop laughing and-”
“Surprise? Oh my god!” Hoseok practically screamed, grabbing Namjoon by the knee and staring him dead in the eye, a dramatic gleam in his eye.
“Park Jimin, I, Min Yoongi, I like you! Surprise!”
Namjoon pushed his hand away, but a small smile crept up onto his lips.
“Get it? It’s funny because the whole entire universe didn’t already know that.”
“Yeah, we get it Hobi.” Namjoon said with a smile.
“Don’t smile at him, he’s the enemy.
“Enemy?” Hoseok screeched, jumping up and launching himself into Yoongi’s lap. “I am you’re best friend Mr. I love Park Jimin how dare you speak to me this way!”
This was getting nowhere.
“Can’t we just lock him in your bathroom and go get coffee or something?” Yoongi asked Namjoon.
The fact that the more rational of the two boys did not say no right away was all the encouragement Yoongi needed.
After… shall we say, distracting Hoseok in the apartment, the two boys made their way down the road to a coffee shop nearby, and here, finally, Yoongi was getting some honest to god good advice. Which was pretty surprising if Yoongi was being completely honest, because since when did Namjoon know anything about love? In the time Yoongi had known him, had he even shown an interest in anyone for longer than five minutes? Maybe just Jin, but that was more of a bromance thing surely. I mean, who didn’t look at Kim Seokjin at least once in their life. The man was a walking, talking piece of modern art. But they were just best friends.
Like Taehyung and Jungkook were best friends.
And Jimin is definitely one of Yoongi’s best friends.
Huh.
Oh my god, is Namjoon in love with Seokjin?
Not the time Yoongi, not the time. Concentrate on this helpful advice.
But Namjin would be so cute together oh my gosh!!!!
No.
Concentrate.
“So, yeah. I think you just need to be really open and honest with him. You’ve been friends for so long now, I think the best way to approach this is just to sit him down and tell him how you feel. And then ask him if he would like to go out on a date with you, something casual and no-pressure, like a movie and ice cream afterwards. Just to feel it out so he can see the difference between friend Yoongi and boyfriend Yoongi. And then he can make up his mind. That way if he’s not into it, you guys can still save the friendship afterwards, you know. But for the record, I think he is going to be very, very into it.”
Damn, helpful advice.
“Thank you man, I owe you one,” Yoongi told Namjoon with a gummy smile, “that actually really helped, and calmed me down a lot. Really, thanks.”
“Happy to help. But I should probably get going now, you know?”
“Oh, sorry did you have something on today?”
“Uhh, no. But we left Hoseok starts his shift here in 20 minutes and he’s still locked in my bathroom.”
“It’s probably for the best if we just leave him there.”
“Yoongi!”
When Yoongi got home, he could hear Jimin in the bathroom, so he decided now would be a great time to initiate “Phase 3 – Man Up And Tell Him How You Feel”. And it would have been. It really would have been. If Jimin hadn’t been naked when he came out of the bathroom.
“Oh hey Yoongi, I didn’t hear you come home!” was the last thing Yoongi could remember hearing before his brain exploded.
Because there was Park Jimin, in all his glory, small white towel wrapped around him, sitting low on his waist and leaving little to the imagination. His blonde hair was dripping and wet chest still slightly red and gleaming from the shower. Yoongi could even make out the little droplets of water that were still embedded in the soft cushion of the other boy’s eyelashes, and wow, he had never really given those eyelashes the praise they deserved until this moment.
Was it hot in here? It was definitely hot in here. Yoongi felt a little faint.
It would probably help if he started breathing again. And maybe he could, if he could look away from Jimin’s lips for more than a second, but they always looked so pretty, even more so when they were moving.
Oh, they’re moving.
“Hello, earth to Yoongi?” Jimin’s soft voice broke Yoongi out of his daze.
Oh good, his hearing came back. It would have been pretty hard to continue his musical career if he didn’t have hearing. Although, loosing your hearing to Park Jimin’s marvellous abs, water droplets highlighting every dip and curve. What a way to go.
“Uh-” Yoongi replied, ever so eloquently.
“I was asking what you wanted to order for dinner tonight?” Jimin asked again, small smile on his face.
“Right, yeah. Anything.”
“Oh, you’ll eat anything? Do you like what you see?”
Yoongi chocked on his own saliva.
“What?” he screeched.
“I said do you mind leaving it up to me. Jesus, I think you need to go have a nap or something man.”
Yoongi felt the blush spread all the way from his cheeks to his chest.
“Right, long day. Can you just, uh, wake me up later when the food gets here?” the older boy said in a rush.
“Okay…” he heard Jimin reply behind him, but if there was anything more the other boy wanted to say, Yoongi’s closed bedroom door put an end to that real quick.
So yeah, phase 3 was a total disaster.
Fuck.
Yoongi had hoped he could move on from the Hallway Boner Incident of 2018™ with at least a shred of his dignity still intact, but unfortunately (or perhaps, very, very fortunately, depending on how you look at it) Jimin had seemed to have taken the awkward moment as an indication that they had now reached the comfortable roommate stage of dressing in your room instead of in the bathroom and Yoongi had been faced with a lot of wet, perfectly lickable abs way too early in the morning for any person with eyes and a dick to be able to handle.
And he was slowly losing his sanity.
So much so that he had thrown all of his planned phases out of the window and way now stuck on “Phases 4 through to 7 - Stop Getting A Boner Every Time You See Jimin In A Towel So He Doesn’t File For A Restraining Order And Hate You Forever”. It had initially only been phase 4, but as the days rolled by and Yoongi’s desperation to make love to Jimin in 73 different positions only grew stronger, the older male had to keep adding to it. To remind him. He was a creep and a failure.
He did, momentarily, consider going back to Namjoon for more advice, but Namjoon would tell Hoseok because Namjoon was a total sweet heart and didn’t see the gleam in Hoseok’s eye for the evil that it was, and then Hoseok would make his life a living hell. He loved Hoseok, honest to God he did. No-one else had ever stuck by him for so long and if all things went well then hopefully Hoseok would be his best man at the Min-Park wedding but oh my god. The man couldn’t keep his mouth shut if it would save his life. It was a miracle Jimin had not already been told about Yoongi’s crush, and he really didn’t want to risk anything by bringing the topic back up.
So, in a moment of weakness, Yoongi did something he never thought he would be capable of doing.
He went to Jungkook and Taehyung for relationship advice.
Which was something he regretted almost immediately (and something that, in hindsight, was the best thing he had ever done).
“So, what brings you to our humble abode?” Taehyung asked, taking a sip off his soda through a ridiculously large bendy straw and fixing Yoongi with a serious stare as if he wasn’t the most ridiculous human on the planet.
“Uh, can we do this with you not sitting in Jungkook’s lap please?” Yoongi practically begged.
Taehyung shrugged at that, letting Jungkook unwind his arms from around his waist before sliding (more like throwing, very ungracefully) himself off of his boyfriend’s lap and onto the couch cushion beside him. Jungkook instantly put one arm back around his boyfriend’s waist, the other settling on the thigh closest to his own leg as he began to rub circles into it with his thumb.
It was better, he guessed. Still gross, but better.
“Oh, shut up. It’s not gross you bitter old man,” Jungkook said with a roll of his eyes, “what do you want?”
Huh, he said that aloud.
Whoops.
“Okay, sorry. My bad. I’m just in a little bit of a bad mood because of an issue I’m having. Which I’m hoping you can help me with.”
Taehyung’s back straightened at that, and he got an excited gleam in his eye.
“What do you need help with?” he practically yelled, “I am at your service.”
“Why is he using words like abode and at your service?” Yoongi questioned.
“We started watching Downton Abbey. Ignore it. What’s wrong?” Jungkook replied.
Yoongi took a deep breath, and then told them everything. The plan, the total failure of phase 3, the ridiculous amounts of naked Park Jimin in his apartment, and most importantly, all about his soul consuming and unparalleled love for one of his best friends.
But we already know all that, so let’s skip to the good part.
“Okay, so Jimin comes home, and you’re laying on the couch naked, and you say, hey baby, want to take a ri-“
“No no no no no babe. You’re missing a fantastic opportunity here.”
“Taehyung, let me finish, it’s really good.”
“No Gukkie please, my idea is better!”
“You haven’t even heard my idea yet!”
“Guys, please stop.” Yoongi begged. His plea fell on deaf ears. The had been bickering back and forth for almost 10 minutes now and Yoongi desperately wanted to leave but dumb and dumber were blocking the door and Jungkook was really buff and scary and Yoongi didn’t think he could outrun him.
“Gukkie, if you love me, you will trust me.”
“What? Of course I love you dumbass.”
“Then let me speak!”
“Fine, fine, what’s your idea?”
“Okay so, like you said, he’s naked on the couch when Jimin comes home and remember that time Yoongi was really drunk and kept calling Jimin sugar? Okay, so, there’s whipped cream on his dick and Yoongi looks Jimin straight in the eyes and says: hey sugar, want something sweet? And boom, relationship started.”
Oh my god, Yoongi wanted to die.
“Oh my god…” Jungkook begun, rubbing his hand over his face and shaking his head. The boy had finally come to his senses and was going to disagree with his boyfriend. It was Yoongi’s chance to flee.
“Baby you are a genius, I can’t believe I ever doubted you!” Jungkook cooed, pulling Taehyung close to his chest and showering his face in little kisses.
And Yoongi might have thought Taehyung’s resulting smile and giggle were really cute if he wasn’t so grumpy from all the pining. That they were meant to be helping him with! Not making out.
He needed new friends.
“Guys, I don’t think that’s really my style.” Yoongi groaned. “Maybe I should just lea-”
“You’re right!” Taehyung yelled, pointing a finger in Yoongi’s face. “Babe, he’s right, it’s not his style.”
“Thank you, Taehyung, that’s great. Now, what do you think about me just writing a note explaining how I feel and leaving it on the fridge for him to find while I’m out of the hou-”
Jungkook cut him off with huff and a shake of the head.
“That’s not what he meant. He meant it’s not your style, it’s-”
“ours!” they finished together.
“Don’t worry Yoongi, we’ve got this. “Phase 8 – Taekook Save The Day” is already in action. Expect a boyfriend by the end of the week.” Taehyung said, shooting Yoongi a blinding smile.
Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no. This is bad. This is so, so bad.
“Stop being so dramatic.” Jungkook said with a roll of his eyes, wrapping an arm around Taehyung’s neck and pulling him in tight for a kiss on the temple.
Great, Taekook being gross would be the last thing he ever saw before his heart gave out from stress.
“You’re still talking out loud, you know?” Taehyung asked with a giggle.
“I know!” Yoongi cried, standing up and making for a rush towards the door.
“Don’t you dare say anything! I mean it, don’t!”
“Okay, we get it, we won’t.” the two boys said in synchronisation.
“I mean it. The timing is wrong. Please don’t say anything unless I tell you it’s okay.” Yoongi repeated turning on his heel and sending them what he hoped was a threatening look (it was actually just desperate with a hint of cute but Yoongi didn’t need to know that).
“We won’t” they said together again, Jungkook dramatically placing his hand over his heart and Taehyung saluting before shooting finger guns in the older boys direction.
Great, his fate now lays in the hands of those two idiots.
His life was over.
When Yoongi got home later that night, he could hear Jimin on Skype with Jungkook and Taehyung and his heart did a back flip.
“Yeah okay guys, sounds good. Yoongi just got home so I’ll talk to you tomorrow at Hoseok’s place. Yeah… yeah, yeah Taehyung. Got it. Bye guys.” Yoongi heard Jimin say, before hearing the telltale sound of a laptop closing.
Fuck.
“Uh- um hey.” Yoongi mumbled, stepping into the kitchen.
“Hey!” Jimin said with a bright smile.
Ouch, right in the heart.
“What were you guys talking about?” Yoongi asked in a rush. Jimin gave him a funny look.
“Just want food to bring tomorrow, for dinner at Hoseok’s.” Jimin replied with a shrug.
“Really?!” Yoongi squeaked.
“Yes really. What’s up with you?” Jimin giggled, turning away and heading towards the fridge. “You want leftovers tonight?”
“Sure, yeah, whatever.” Yoongi mumbled, throwing himself down into a dining chair and letting out a long sigh of relief. Taehyung and Jungkook had kept their mouths shut. Good. That’s good. Now all he had to do was survive dinner tomorrow with Taehyung AND Jungkook AND Hoseok and then he could come home and think of a phase 8 of his plan that did not involve any three of those boys. Closing his eyes and resting his head on the dining table, Yoongi let himself relax. If he has kept his eyes open, maybe he would have seen the cheeky smile and happy dance Jimin was performing just meters away from him. But he would know soon enough.
Much sooner than expected, in fact.
Which takes us back to somewhere familiar.
Where this story began.
"Because he is in love with you."
Silence.
Earth shattering silence.
And then...
"Oh jesus christ, finally someone said it." Jimin groaned, reaching a hand out to Yoongi to pull him to his feet.
"You look very pretty down there angel but I think we should save all the real getting to know each other better until we're alone, don't you?" Jimin asked with a smile.
Yoongi choked on air.
"What?" he screeched, in a decibel that could rival Hoseok for abrasiveness to the ears.
"Damn I wish Jin and Nams were here to see this." Taehyung let out with a burst of laughter.
"They'll be so sad they missed out." Jungkook agreed with a solemn shake of his head.
"Nah, they're probably busy making out somewhere right now." Hoseok said with a shrug.
"What?" Taehyung, Jungkook and Jimin yelled together, the latter letting go of Yoongi's hand and letting the poor, shocked and confused older boy fall back into a pile on the floor.
"Since when are those two together?" Jimin squealed, "oh my gosh that is so cute!"
"Park Jimin!" Yoongi snapped.
"Yeah, yeah, in a second," Jimin said with a dismissive wave of the hand, "I need details Hobi!"
"We all do!" Taehyung and Jungkook agreed.
"PARK JIMIN!" Yoongi yelled, jumping to his feet in a huff. "I just confessed my undying love for you and you want to talk about Seokjin and Namjoon right now?"
"Well actually, I was the one who confessed it fo-" Jungkook began.
"JEON JUNGKOOK!" Yoongi yelled again.
"Shutting up, bye." the youngest said in a rush, standing up and grabbing a hold of Taehyung's hand, who in turn grabbed onto Hoseok's hand and the trio made their way into the kitchen to get out of the way (and to eavesdrop).
"Why are you so calm about this right now Jimin?" Yoongi asked in a huff, crossing his arms and pouting slightly. Jimin reached out and rubbed at his bottom lip until his facial expression morphed into something closer to a smile.
"Honestly Yoongi, it's less of a shocking revelation moment for me and more of a, you know, FINALLY. Two people who are obviously into each other can be together and make out and bump uglies and all that fun stuff you know? I always knew we were gonna end up together, I was just waiting for you to be ready." Jimin said, and Yoongi hated how calm and level headed he sounded talking about all of this while the latter was about three seconds away from melting into a pile of goo.
"You did?" Yoongi whispered.
"Sure did." Jimin replied, with his beautiful, beautiful smile. God, Yoongi was so gone.
"And you knew I was in love with you this whole time?" he asked again, voice somehow managing to get even softer.
"Sure did." Jimin beamed.
"That's kind of embarrassing." Yoongi groaned.
"Nah, I don't think so." Jiming said with a shake of the head, reaching out to grab Yoongi's hand and pull him closer, leaning forward to whisper in his ear.
"I've got a confession to make you know. It will probably make you feel better."
"Oh really?"
"I've been in love with you this whole time too."
And finally, FINALLY, Jimin's lips were pressed against Yoongi's own and everything was perfect and Yoongi wasn't even that mad afterwards when Taehyung ran out of the kitchen screaming and began jumping around the two of them in excitement, or even when Hoseok joined in on the screaming and threw rice at them as if they were at a wedding or even when Jungkook slapped him on the ass an whispered (extremely loudly) in his ear to go get some!!!! Because he was with Jimin and everything was perfect.
"Ah, operation 'Get Min Yoongi Out Of My Dreams And Into My Bed' is finally complete." Jimin said with a chuckle, and Yoongi froze.
"No, no, no this is not your doing," he said in a rush, "this is all thanks to operation 'Get Park Jimin Into My Apartment And Also My Heart' I wrote down the steps and everything."
"You make a plan to get me?" Jimin let out a squeal and pulled Yoongi into a tight hug.
"Oh my god baby that is so cute!"
"You made one too!"
"Yeah but I always make plans, the fact that you made one too is totally adorable."
"Whatever, it's my plan that worked anyway." Yoongi groaned. Jimin squeezed him even tighter.
"No, it was my plan, for sure." Jimin countered.
"What? I got us to move in together that was a massive step."
"Yeah well I walked around basically naked and gave you surprise boners that was my plan."
"I already got those buddy boy okay that's nothing new."
"Okay we're talking about THAT later but fine, I got Taekook to say all of those-"
"YOU MADE THEM SAY THAT?" Yoongi screeched.
“Well yeah. They told me straight away about the talk you all had, so I thought it would be kinda fun if they followed through with it.”
Damn it Taekook.
Well, that’s what old Yoongi would have thought.
But this is Boyfriend of Park Jimin™ Yoongi, and he was floating on air. So he decided not to kill them.
Yet.
"What the fuck is a Taekook?" Jungkook chimed in.
"It's us baby, you're Jungkook and I'm Taehyung so together we are Taekook." Taehyung explained.
"Awh no way, that is so fucking cute!" Jungkook cried out, pulling Taehyung forwards and kissing him (way to passionately for the situation) on the lips and Yoongi rolled his eyes.
"You put dumb and dumber over there in charge of the formation of our relationship?" Yoongi asked.
"Worked didn't it?" Jimin replied, tickling Yoongi lightly under his chin, causing the older male to smile.
"Yeah, yeah... it worked chim chim. You win this round." Yoongi sighed happily, pulling Jimin in for another perfect kiss.
"Oh my god Jungkook get your tongue out of his mouth I will not stand for this fuckery in my house!" Hoseok yelled, breaking Yoongi out of the moment.
And quite promptly, all hell broke loose. Jungkook took Hoseok's shout as a challenge and began to furiously make out with Taehyung which was something the older of the pair caught onto almost immediately because he started moaning loudly like some kind of porn star. Hoseok shoved them, which only made the situation worse because they ended up falling onto the couch together and Jungkook started grinding down on Taehyung and Hoseok started screaming and trying to pry the two apart with his bare hands. Unbeknown to the five men in the room, Namjoon and Seokjin had arrived and in one massive tug at Jungkook's leg during which Hoseok lost his grip and went flying backwards towards the door he managed to send himself, Namjoon and Seokjin all into a mass of limbs and groaning sprawled out on the floor. Taehyung and Jungkook did not stop their actions on the couch at the sound of this for even a second.
"I think this is our cue to go." Jimin said with a smile, taking Yoongi's hand in his own and stepping over the mess of bodies on the floor.
"What about these three?" Yoongi asked.
"Not our problem." Jimin said with a shrug.
"Damn, I have never loved you more." Yoongi said with a gummy smile, stepping over his friends and joining Jimin as he made his way to the front door.
And so, Operation 'Get Park Jimin Into My Apartment (And Also My Heart)' was a success.
What happened afterwards, well that's another story.