Work Text:
You had a relatively normal child hood. Parents who worked most of their hours to care for you and your two siblings. Being the youngest, you didn't have too terribly much to worry about at the start - Other than caring for your barbie dolls and spending time with your only friend. Harry Potter. It wasn't that you couldn't make friends, there was just something about him that you had always been drawn to. The first day you had met him at school, even though the other kids picked on him, his cousin Dudley leading the charge, he was never really cruel back to them. That intrigued you, and so you began to stand up for him, telling others off. Only - that got them to start in on you too. But that didn't matter, because you had Harry, and he was your best friend. Even closer than all the barbie dolls you could ever have.
And then things had to go and change.
That night you had waited all day for your Mum to get home, so she could help you make Harry a birthday cupcake. You knew his horrid family wasn't going to give him anything, so you had to. And though your Mum was tired, she couldn't help but smile at the determination her youngest girl had to make her friend happy.
But when you had tried to bring it to him no one was home. You found this odd, but thought that maybe the Dursley's had had a change of heart, and took Harry out for his birthday... after all, you only turned ten once. Satisfied with the answer your young mind had come up with, you decided to give him the cupcake later.
Later didn't come.
Days and days passed, school started back up, but Harry wasn't there with you. His Aunt and Uncle said they had to ship him off to some school for people who needed extra attention, or something along those lines. You couldn't believe it, you had cried for the first three days until your siblings had told you to get over it.
And though Harry was gone - the bullies were not.
Harry eventually came back, but he was so different then. Like he had gone through so much, on an adventure without you. He spoke of new friends, and a school that was so fantastic, though he could never go into much detail for some reason.... But you were okay with it, as long as you had him back in your life, dealing with all the bullies at school... it was worth it.
But every time he left, he seemed to come back older, wiser, maybe even madder and scared of.. something. He never could tell you. Couldn't even tell me more about his new friends, brushing it off every time you asked for more details. It didn't't make sense to you. You were supposed to do things together. Th little seedling of anxiety, of hurt grew and grew and eventually you could no longer deal with it.
Your Mum had died in a crash. It was sudden, she didn't feel much pain but the waves of sorrow that went through your family rocked them hard, and your Father took it the hardest. He took more shifts at work to stay out of the house he had built with his wife, his two older children left home, leaving only you. And you looked so much like her, your mother. He only could ever pray you would understand one day why he did what he did. Worked himself nearly to death and then came home to drink himself to unconsciousness.
You understood why, sure. But it didn't stop the hurt you felt, from loosing your siblings, your mother, your Dad... and your best friend.
Highschool was tough for you. Those childhood bullies seemed to get bigger, and with them their forms of bullying. You had no one to turn to, to help take away the stings of words, or the stings of bruises on the worst days.
That was until you heard rumors of people drinking cough syrup to get a high. You were very much against drugs when you were younger, but that was before you got turned around. Before you were lonely, and depressed and angry at the world. And it wasn't like it was real drugs, right? Of course not. Who could it hurt?
***
Every time you drank the gross thick liquid, tasted the awful cherry flavored gunk you felt revolted and angry at yourself. At the world, at your Mum and Dad. At Harry. But then it took you away and nothing bothered you anymore, for a short time. It just so happened the day you wanted to sit on the porch, to try to enjoy the chill of the air was the day you forgot your keys. Your Dad always locked the door, and he wouldn't be back for ages.
The high of the syrup kept you from being bothered for a short time, but once it started to come down, and you could fully feel the sting of the cold on your skin - the stinging moved to your eyes. You felt pathetic, crying on your porch, wearing only a thin t-shirt and jeans to combat the weather, coming down from a high that wasn't even satisfying anymore.
"I hate this." You mumbled, your voice cracking. Your knees pulled against your chest, berrying your head on your knees. The tear tracks on your cheeks were cold, and all you wanted to do was curl up in a ball and be forgotten by the world.
"It might help to have a coat."
That voice sent chills up your spine, and it wasn't from the cold.
Head wiping up, your brows furrowed together. It was him, standing there like nothing had happened. Like he hadn't't completely forgotten about you, didn't even write once during your grieving period of your Mum... hell, you were still grieving. Anger bubbled in your stomach and you glared, "What do you want?" You asked bitterly.
He seemed surprised by your words, his eyes filling with hurt for only a moment. You felt bad for a second, but maybe still completely not down from your high you weren't completely thinking straight.
"Listen, Y/N... I know you're upset but-"
"Upset??" You asked dangerously, standing up from your porch, on the top step. Your eyes glowered angrily, "You have no idea how I feel, Harry! You abandoned me, just like everyone else!"
Harry's eyes flickered, anger and sadness in his own - it looked like he wanted to say more but something held him back. "I wish I could tell you why, explain myself but-"
"Ever since the first time you left, it's just been secerts! And then you just stopped showing up completely? Ignored my letters? My Mum died Harry - and you couldn't even send me a letter??" It wasn't about the letter, it was so much more than that but you were throwing any jabs you could. And part of you felt pride when he flinched, when he looked hurt. In your current state of mind, you thought he deserved it.
"Y/N! Just listen to me! We can talk about it, there is so much I need to explain to you, I need you to know that it..." He seemed at a lost for words a moment, "That it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my choice to stop speaking with you."
"Not your choice?" You asked and took a step down onto the next porch step, not noticing the ice beneath your foot. "Then who's fault was it, Harry? You're going to tell me that someone made you ignore me?" While you ranted, you took another step down and slipped. The ground came up fast, and your eyes widened. You braced for the impact, but it didn't come. Instead you felt two warm arms wrap around you.
Your eyes drifted up and met his. The moment they connected, you saw your best friend clearly. Remembered all the good times together, how much you hoped and looked forward to growing up together. You remembered baking the cupcake with your Mum. You didn't notice the tears that had began streaming down your face.
Not a sound was made, you could hear your heart beat in your ears. Harry's eyes glanced down briefly, looking to your pink, soft lips. Your breath hitched. The cough syrup high was gone, replaced now with a whirlwind of emotions. Your heart was beating wildly, and the angry parts of your mind wanted you to push him away - but the side that won, the side that wanted him back did quite the opposite.
Your lips brushed his, the warmth igniting something within your heart. You weren't even sure who had made the move to kiss the other, but you didn't care. His arms tightened around your waist, and your own lifted to brush fingers along his cheek. You touched something wet, and it shocked you with a sort of electricity that made you end the kiss soon. You stared up at him with wide eyes. He was crying.
"Oh Harry..." You whispered, looking remorsefully at his tears. "What happened to you? What happened to us?"
It took him a long couple of minuets to speak, but when he did, the determination in his eyes glowed, and it spread to you. "Give me a chance to explain, and I will tell you everything. Every secert I have ever had."
Your eyes again connected with his. Your heart raced, and you bit your lip not knowing what to say. The pain of losing him before was so great, you had been sure that whatever it was that took him from you had to be beyond important... and so part of you was nervous to hear exactly what it was. If it wasn't something that you expected.
But seeing his eyes, his smile, thinking of the boy you had grown so fond of years ago. You couldn't help it.
"Okay..." You whispered. "Okay."
The smile that was on his lips grew, and he kissed you again. So deep that it made your head spin, and sent shivers down your spine.
"But only..." He then said once the kiss ended, and your brows furrowed when in his hand you saw the empty bottle of cough syrup. You were sure you ha disposed of that. How in the world did he get it? "You never do this again."
Pushing past your confusion, the look on his face suggested you wouldn't be confused for much longer you nodded.
"Never again."
And that was a promise you were going to keep.