Chapter Text
You wanna die?
Go ahead and die.
No one will care if you are gone.
Namjoon yawned sleepily as he got out of his car, which was parked in front of the apartment complex where he lived with his close friend Yoongi. He and Yoongi thought it would be a good idea to live together. It would make it easier on both of them to split bills and chores. It was simple enough. That is, until Yoongi lost his job, fired over poor performance. The boss thought he could do much better than he was and called him lazy, saying he wasn't displaying his full potential. Namjoon knew that really tore Yoongi up. It had been a good job.
But now, Yoongi was unemployed, spending his days browsing the internet for opportunities. He rarely left their apartment anymore, causing Namjoon to worry whether Yoongi was ever going to get another job or not. He couldn't keep paying all the bills himself. But he supposed he could keep putting in extra hours at work for more pay, just as long as Yoongi was putting in the effort to find a new job.
Namjoon entered the complex and tiredly made his way up to the third floor, each step up the stairs making him feel like an old man. He was just so exhausted from working extra hours that he wished he could just sleep in the lobby. Why didn't this place have an elevator? That would be so much simpler. If he hated taking the stairs to get to the third floor, how did the people living on the fifth floor feel? Namjoon never wanted to move to the fifth floor and find out. That was for sure.
Trudging his way up to the third floor at last, Namjoon let out a heavy sigh. He was almost to his bed. That was all he wanted. He didn't even want to eat any dinner. How could he think of eating while being this exhausted? When he reached the front door to the correct apartment, he fished his key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He stepped inside and kicked off his shoes before closing the door and locking it."Yoongi-hyung?" He made sure to not speak too loudly, just in case his friend was sleeping. It was late after all.
When he entered the living room to pass through to his bedroom, Namjoon was met with a sight that made him smile fondly. Yoongi was asleep on the couch. He was lying on his back with his laptop on his stomach. He had probably fallen asleep while searching for a job again. As quietly as possible, Namjoon made his way over to the couch and grabbed Yoongi's laptop. He didn't want it to get knocked onto the floor if Yoongi happened to move while he slept.
When he moved the laptop, the screen turned back on, leaving sleep mode. On the screen was a list of places that were currently hiring. It was Yoongi's checklist of places he could try. Most of the places were marked out, already tried. As it appeared, Yoongi was having no luck.
"Joon..." Yoongi's sleep-laced voice was quiet and gruff, deeper than it usually was.
"Hey, Hyung." Namjoon spoke softly, not wanting to rouse Yoongi from his sleepy state."Go back to sleep. I'm just moving your laptop."
Yoongi shifted a little on the couch, rolling onto his side. His eyes were half-lidded and showed just how sleepy he was."Joon..." Reaching out, he pinched the fabric of Namjoon's shirt between his index finger and thumb.
Namjoon smiled and lightly placed his hand over Yoongi's."What is it, Hyung?"
"I'm sorry..." Yoongi's eyes were quickly becoming glossy, shining with wetness.
"Why are you sorry?" Namjoon's smile faded. He didn't know why Yoongi was apologizing. He knelt down in front of the couch and gently stroked a strand of hair away from Yoongi's face."Hyung?"
Yoongi peered at Namjoon, looking like he was going to just pour his heart out at any moment. He looked like he was crumbling just by thinking the things he wanted to say."I'm sorry you have to work so hard..." He didn't know if he could put his feelings and thoughts into audible words. But he wanted to try. He wanted Namjoon to know that he didn't enjoy lying around and being a waste of space.
Namjoon knew he had to say something. He had to let Yoongi know that it was okay. He didn't mind working harder than usual to make sure they had all the things they needed until Yoongi could get a new job."It's alright, Yoongi-hyung. You don't need to be sorry. As long as you as are trying to find a new job, I don't mind working a little extra."
"But you're always so tired..." Yoongi had seen the way Namjoon dragged his feet when he got home from work. He saw how many times Namjoon would skip dinner because he was too exhausted to eat."You wouldn't have to work so much if I wasn't so useless..."
"Hyung, you're not useless." Namjoon didn't understand why Yoongi would say something like that.
"I am..." Yoongi felt like these words were ready to come out on their own, like verbal vomit."I was useless at work and got fired...I'm useless at home...You have to work extra because of me..." The tears that had been building in his eyes finally began to trickle down."You wouldn't have to work so hard if you lived alone...in a cheaper apartment..."
Namjoon didn't like the way this was going. It was worrying him."Hyung, what are you saying? You're not useless at all. I don't want to live alone. I want to keep living with you. If I lived alone, where would you live?" He didn't want Yoongi to have to find another place to live.
"I wouldn't..." Yoongi whimpered between quivering lips.
"You...wouldn't what?" Namjoon was afraid of what he was about to hear. His gut told him it was going to be bad.
Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut, feeling like such a failure."I wouldn't live..."
Those words shattered Namjoon."Yoongi-hyung, don't say that." He gently stroked Yoongi's hair, hoping to give him at least a little comfort."Employed or not, you are always welcome to stay here with me. I have never seen you as useless. You're my best friend."
"But, Joon..." Yoongi reached out both hands and wrapped his arms around Namjoon, loosely clinging to him.
"No buts, Hyung. Just don't give up." Namjoon didn't know what to do. How had Yoongi gotten to this low point without him noticing? Had it just happened today while he had been at work? Had it been building for a while? Perhaps losing his job was the thing that triggered this sort of negative thinking. No matter what, Namjoon had to do anything within his power to help Yoongi see that he wasn't useless, that he needed to live and keep trying.