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“Yesterday, I got my first kiss.”
She froze, her eyes staring at the words in front of her but her brain refused to make any sense of them.
She licked her lips before her eyes darted away from the book and toward Yuzu, lying on her back on the floor across from where she was sitting at the table, pedaling with her legs in the air while she was reading in a book of her own.
“Really? How was it?” She tried her best to sound interested, even tried to muster up a big smile, but that was the most of an emotion that she managed to drag out of her. The excitement somehow seemed to be lost within her. It didn't surprise her.
Yuzu propped herself up on her elbow when she turned on her side to look Harumi in the eyes, but what she did first, maybe even involuntarily, was to reveal to her newly found best friend that something mustn’t have felt right with that kiss, judging by the sheer look of Yuzu’s expression that consisted of a deep frown and a thin line that were her lips tightly pressed together.
She twirled one of her long, golden locks around her finger, trying multiple times to put into words what she had felt during the moment that her first kiss had happened, but nothing felt like the right thing to say. Except one thing, which she wasn’t entirely sure of was the right thing to be feeling after such an important kiss.
“It was weird. And not at all like I had imagined my first kiss to be like.”
Harumi put her book down, eyeing her friend thoroughly and with worry. She knew that the first kiss was something that could feel weird, strange and foreign since it was a really intimate way to touch someone and nothing as simple and innocent as a friendly hug or holding hands.
Even though that wasn’t entirely true either, since holding hands and hugging someone could mean so much more. So much that the person on the other end would maybe never seem to realize because the actions in itself would be so innocent if both weren’t aware of the meaning they could be carrying.
Still, Yuzu’s body language spoke volumes, and that’s when Harumi was absolutely certain that her friend didn’t mean the way it was weird because it had been something new to her, but because it hadn’t felt right.
“Yuzucchi, could it be that you didn’t want to be kissed?”
It was an option that made Harumi’s shock from earlier subside and instead turn into something more like anger. If someone had really stolen Yuzu’s first kiss without her consent… she couldn’t even imagine what she would do to that person because it would definitely involve at least a little bit of violence.
Her friend stirred, her expression one that read that she was deep in thought, probably reliving that kiss from yesterday over and over again.
“I didn’t expect it. Not at all. It was so forceful. And her face…,” she trailed off.
“Her face? ” Harumi thought to herself. The last part had been spoken so softly, she was almost sure that she hadn’t been meant to hear it.
And then Yuzu groaned, so loud that it scared Harumi out of her tranquility and made her realize just how much anger was boiling in the pit of her stomach in this moment.
Yuzu had been kissed. Against her will. By a girl.
A girl that wasn’t her.
“I wasn’t ready for that kiss yet! It was just... stolen from me like that! You know, I always imagined my first kiss to be with someone that I really liked. Not someone… that I barely know.”
"I would have waited for you. Waited until you were ready.”
Harumi fisted the fabric of her skirt. She hadn’t changed out of her school uniform yet and she wouldn’t do so as long as Yuzu was still there.
“Harumin, tell me… How is the first kiss supposed to feel like?”
Only then did Harumi realize that she had been quiet this whole time, but Yuzu didn’t appear to have noticed, probably too worked up over what was taken from her like that without her consent. And as always, Yuzu would turn to Harumi, something she would do much more in the near future, as if she magically knew all the answers to all the questions in the world.
“There’s not, like, a definition for that, Yuzucchi. There’s not really a “right way” for it to be feeling. And it doesn’t always feel right. Even though it should,” she said. “I mean, that’s how we all wanted it to feel, isn’t it? Like the right thing to do, I mean.”
Now it was Yuzu’s turn to look worried as she hadn’t expected to be confronted with such a heavily loaded answer.
“Well then… what was your first kiss like? Did it feel right?” She asked her best friend carefully, suddenly aware that she must have triggered something inside Harumin with her question before. And it felt like something that needed to be spoken out.
But Harumi didn’t speak. Instead, her eyes were focussed on the ground until they slowly drifted over to Yuzu, and when their eyes met, it let Yuzu’s breath hitch. There was something in her friends’ eyes that hadn’t been there before. A foreign emotion which Yuzu found quite interesting, to say the least.
“I could show you what a first kiss should really feel like.”
When the words left her mouth, Harumi could feel and hear how fast her heart was beating in her chest in that moment. But it was on the verge of stopping in its rhythm when a silence surrounded them that Harumi had been so afraid of.
She knew she shouldn’t have said that. She knew that Yuzu would find it weird. And she almost expected Yuzu to leave after what she had proposed.
They barely knew each other after all, so how would this be any different from Yuzu’s stolen kiss?
But Harumi couldn't help herself. The day they first met, she instantly knew that she felt kind of attracted to Yuzu.
“Uhm, what do you mean with that, Harumin?”
And now it was Harumi’s turn to absolutely turn red. God, why was she so stupid?
“Nothing,” she said.
“It’s not nothing, Harumin. What did you mean?” Yuzu inquired further and Harumi wanted nothing more but for her to stop asking questions.
“It was a stupid thing to propose, nevermind it. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not stupid!” Yuzu was almost shouting by then and had shuffled closer to Harumi, who was still avoiding any eye contact with her best friend.
“My first kiss… May have felt weird and forced. But the kiss itself… I did not not like it. I just wished that it had been with someone that I know I can trust. Or at least someone that I know .”
This all confused Harumi. Just who in the world was the person that had kissed Yuzu?
“Harumin,” Yuzu said, quieter now. “Harumin, look at me.”
And she did.
“Good. I… I would really like to know what a first kiss should really feel like,” Yuzu mumbled, putting one strand of hair behind her ear and Harumi was surprised to see a faint, red flush cover her face.
“But… My first kiss was already stolen.”
Of course. Why did Harumi even get her hopes up? It was a stupid thing to propose after all.
But Yuzu didn't stop there.
“Still, I trust you Harumin. So, I heard that sometimes friends… well, they… they practice kissing.”
Harumi stayed quiet.
Practice. Was Yuzu really trying to ask her to practice kissing with her?
“And you know… Maybe you can't show me what a first kiss should feel like, but… You could show me how to do it properly,” she paused, eyes now frantically searching around the room for anything that wasn’t Harumi.
“So I know how to do it right the next time.”
Harumi couldn't answer immediately. Of course, she was offered the chance to kiss the girl she felt attracted to. But, to Yuzu, it would mean nothing. Not the same. Wouldn't carry the same meaning when they kissed. Just like the hugs. And them holding hands.
But she wanted it. She wanted to know how Yuzu’s lips would feel on her own.
She even caught herself sneaking a glance at her glossy lips just then. "What would they taste like?" she wondered. Did Yuzu use her cherry lip gloss, the peach one or the strawberry one today?
She wanted to find it out.
Even if didn't mean the same for both of them.
But Yuzu didn't have to know.
So, Harumi nodded, slowly.
“Alright. If that's what you want.”
“Well, yeah, I guess. I mean, I trust you, Harumin. And I want to become good at kissing, now that I've had my first kiss taken away like that. So, I'm sorry if I do something wrong! I really have no idea how to do it right.”
Yuzu’s blush deepened and Harumi couldn't deny that she really liked the way it colored her face.
And it was partially even because of her. Because they would be going to kiss each other.
“There’s not really much you can do wrong,” Harumi said.
“Just listen to what your gut tells you to do. It will probably be the right thing to do.”
Yuzu nodded. And then they positioned themselves in front of each other.
They had looked each other in the face often, but this time, it was different.
Harumi saw Yuzu. She really saw her. The long eyelashes that her friend tried to make even longer with mascara, even though she didn't need to do that. That golden hair that was hanging in her face and the few strands that seemed to be lost somewhere on it where they weren't supposed to be because she hadn't combed her hair since they had left school together.
She lost herself in the green of her eyes. A green that was so rich that it put all the natural and intense green of the trees outside and in the world to absolute shame.
She noticed that Yuzu had faint wrinkles at the corners of her lips, probably from a time when she used to be smiling a lot.
And then her lips. Puffy, peachy, perfect.
She wondered what Yuzu was seeing in her. She hadn't moved an inch since they had positioned themselves in front of each other like this. But she had seen her eyes, observing her face like she had been observing hers.
What was she thinking?
What would happen next, maybe? Who should be the one to make the first move, perhaps?
Harumi didn't want to speculate anymore.
She leaned forward. She saw how Yuzu was closing her eyes.
She closed them too.
Her lips were mesmerizing. Breathtaking. So warm and soft. Wet and full.
They didn't taste as much like peach at all. They tasted like Yuzu. Which was way better.
It made her heart flutter when she felt Yuzu actually press their lips together some more. Did that mean she liked it?
Harumi searched for her hand. Let her fingers carefully stroke over it. Then their fingers intertwined.
She knew she had to lead. So she did just that.
She pulled away a split second to let them catch their breath. But really, it was just a fracture of a second, because when she closed the distance between their mouths once more, she heard Yuzu’s muffled yelp of surprise that turned more out like a moan. Perfect.
The kiss turned wilder, rougher, their mouths tasting each other maybe with a little bit more curiosity than before and a different intent than a mere practice kiss.
It felt right.
For both of them. Which surprised Yuzu as well as Harumi.
To Yuzu, her first kiss felt like nothing compared to this. Because this, this didn't feel forced. She felt it in Harumin's movement of her lips, wild and strong, but caring. Wanting.
When Mei had kissed her, it had felt so wrong.
It made her feel bad. Feel bad for Mei when she remembered that she had said that that was what it felt like to be kissed.
But that wasn't what it feels like at all. This right here, with Harumin, this felt right. It felt good.
Yuzu took her unoccupied hand and entangled it into Harumin's hair, pulling her closer.
But no matter how close they were, it wasn’t close enough.
To Harumi, that kiss felt like everything she had ever wanted since the first day she had seen the abomination that was Yuzu enter their school grounds, absolutely oblivious that she was breaking almost every single one of the school rules.
Man, she had been impressed. And intrigued.
Finally someone that wasn't entirely boring, generic and a slave to the rules.
No, Yuzu was not at all boring. Everything about her was exciting.
The way her soft hand felt in hers.
The way her other hand had found its way so naturally into her hair to get them closer.
The way her lips were intoxicating her with their softness and that entirely unique taste of hers.
She wanted more.
Harumi opened her mouth, Yuzu’s upper lip following along. And then she let the tip of her tongue run over Yuzu’s lip and slightly exposed row of teeth, begging her for entrance.
And Yuzu obliged, opening her mouth to let her friend’s tongue explore it thoroughly.
Harumi feverishly brought her free hand toward Yuzu’s face, her thumb caressing the soft and powdered cheek of hers while her other hand led Yuzu’s around her waist where her friend gladly let it rest as Harumi did the same on her waist.
As Harumi explored every corner of Yuzu’s mouth, Yuzu finally encouraged herself enough to get her tongue to move along as well, pushing and stroking Harumi’s that then reciprocated what her tongue was doing until the pushing and stroking eventually led to a dance solely meant for their tongues to be danced.
They moaned in pleasure. Shivered under the touch of the other. Drank what was dripping from their bruised lips.
And it felt so right.
When they parted, they panted, cheeks flushed from all the adrenaline that had intoxicated their bodies, hot from the arousal that the other had elicited inside them.
“...Wow,” Yuzu breathed.
“Wow…,” Harumi repeated. “So… do you think that this practice helped you understand what a real kiss should feel like a little bit better?”
But Yuzu shook her head. And that made Harumi’s inside squirm violently.
Had it been that bad? But Yuzu had-
“It didn't make me understand how a real kiss should feel like. It showed me what a real kiss is.”
And that was all that was needed to make Harumi flash Yuzu the probably biggest smile she had ever seen on her face.
“But Yuzu,” Harumi began with a smirk, “There's actually so much more we will have to practice from now on. Since you're still a beginner... at everything.”
And Yuzu smiled back.
“Whatever it is, I'm all in.”