Chapter Text
At first, Koutarou doesn’t register it happens. They’re just playing video games, waiting for Sawamura to get home so he and Kuroo can film their next video. And then, after some time, his side starts to feel warmer, and he realises Kuroo has leaned onto him, and hasn’t moved out of his space yet. It doesn’t feel bad. It doesn’t feel weird. It doesn’t feel like much, and yet Koutarou’s heart is beating so fast Kuroo might feel it.
“Ha, I won !” Kuroo says, completely oblivious to the way Koutarou blushes. “Daichi should be there already, what’s the dude doing ?”
“Maybe he got lost,” he says, to avoid feeling like a train hit him head first. Koutarou wishes he didn’t know what is happening, but he’s watched all of Matsukawa and Hanamaki’s videos and he knows what a crush feels like. It feels like this, exactly like this, and the realisation makes his heart thump out helplessly.
“I’m gonna call him,” Kuroo decides, and he gets up to fetch his phone. Koutarou’s side feels all cold now, and the change isn’t welcome. Mostly, he wonders if Kuroo noticed, if he cared about how they suddenly touched, if that’s why he didn’t move away.
“Hey, Daichi ?” Kuroo says in the distance, “What’s taking you so long ? Don’t fucking tell me you got lost chasing dogs aga- you did. Of course you did. Well get your ass back here, I’m crushing Bokuto six to two at Mario Kart and I’m not sure his heart can take it.”
Was the gap between them that large ? For a moment, Koutarou forgets his beating heart in favour of an indignant “I’m gonna beat you now, get your ass back here !”, but as Kuroo settles back down, all he can think about his how he misses the warmth on his side.
And then-
Kuroo leans in close again, shoulders bumping, and he doesn’t move away. Koutarou’s heart leaps up his throat, and doesn’t move for the rest of the evening.
oOo
“’kaashi, of course I didn’t tell him. What if he moved away ? I didn’t wanna lose that.”
“You’re talking about the dude who did the ‘boyfriend challenge’ with his male roommate. I’m not sure he’d have moved away.”
Koutarou sighs, and drags a hand down his face. “Listen. I don’t wanna lose him.”
“That’s why you’re telling me about it literally two seconds after leaving his flat ?” Akaashi says, voice totally deadpan. “I wonder what you’d do without me.”
“Don’t talk about it,” Koutarou answers, horrified. “I’d have no one to tell about my crush on my best friend. One of my best friends,” he adds, “you’re the other one. Shouyou is our adopted kid.”
“I refuse to adopt Hinata,” Akaashi says. “And you’re straying from the point. What do you want me to do about your crush ?”
“How do I hide it ?” Koutarou whispers. Suddenly everything feel heavy – things are setting in, and understanding that Kuroo probably doesn’t reciprocate is, quite frankly, depressing.
“Don’t,” Akaashi immediately answers, matter of fact. “You’re terrible at hiding things, and Kuroo deserves to know. Not in that way – it’s just… How do you know he doesn’t like you back ?”
“Of course he doesn’t !”
“Have you asked ?”
“Of course I haven’t !”
Koutarou can feel Akaashi pinching his nose. “So,” he says, “how do-”
“You’re not a good liar,” Akaashi tells him. “You’ll get spotted no matter what I do.”
“Fuck. Should I tell him then ?”
“That’s what I’ve been saying,” he groans. Then, more softly “Only if you want to, though. If you think you’d better keep it hidden, I’ll help.”
“That’s literally the opposite of what you said two minutes ago,” Koutarou whines. “What am I supposed to do, hide it or tell him ?”
Akaashi sighs, and doesn’t answer right away. “How long have you known ?”
“Honestly ?” Koutarou thinks back on it and says, fearlessly, “I’m not sure but it’s been a while. I just – I just realised today.”
“I’m glad you told me right away.”
“Well I didn’t really – I didn’t think about it twice ! Of course I’d tell you !”
“So you’re gonna listen to me now when I say that you should tell Kuroo ?”
“You know what ?” Koutarou stops dead in his tracks, and slowly turns around. “I’m gonna tell him right now.”
“Bokuto-san-”
“Thanks for the call ‘kaashi !” he says before he can regret his decision, and he hangs up.
oOo
[From: Akaashi]
bokuto is headed for your house
[To: Akaashi]
why ? he just left
[From: Akaashi]
uh
you’ll see
don’t panic ok ?
[To: Akaashi]
fuck did he
did he notice I have a crush on him
fuck I didn’t mean
is that why he’s coming back ?
[From: Akaashi]
oh
well
you’ll see
[To: Akaashi]
you’re so mean
oOo
Koutarou is out of breath when he finally reaches Kuroo’s house. He’s almost giddy, and frankly, quite scared. He’s been texting Akaashi non stop since he hang up, because he’s not past being encouraged a bit. There’s no telling how Kuroo will react, and there’s no telling how their relationship will evolve past this, but Akaashi is right – he’s never been good at lying and this is certainly not something he’d hide well.
The doorbell barely rings before Kuroo opens the door, weird. It’s like he’s been expecting him. Kuroo’s smile is shaky, so is his greeting, and Koutarou starts to think this is a bad idea. But before he can say anything, Kuroo grabs his hand.
“Can we talk ?”
“Yeah. Yeah, that’s. That’s what I came back for.”
I can still feel your warmth on my shoulder, Koutarou doesn’t say, but seeing Kuroo’s wobbly smile, he thinks he might.