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Five awoke to the sound of crying for the 3rd or 4th time tonight - they had lost count. They couldn’t help but groan into their pillow. Due to the outbreak of flu in their small group of refugees, Janine created a “quarantine” room at Noah Base which housed Janine, Sam, Maxine, and Runner 2. Five, Jody, and Paula were temporarily sharing a room, which meant baby Sara was there, too, until Maxine deemed herself as no longer infectious.
“Sorry,” Paula’s voice groggily whispered as she got up to soothe the infant. Five sat up on the top bunk above and swung their legs over. Despite the interrupted sleep, they felt awake and alert. Paula had just picked up Sara when she noticed Five beside her. “Oh, Five, I was just about to-“
“I’ll take her,” Five offered their hands. “You’ve done enough tonight. You deserve a break.”
Relief washed over Paula, and her shoulders relaxed. She gently placed Sara in Five’s arms and kissed the baby on the forehead. “Thank you,” she mouthed as she collapsed back onto the mattress.
Five rushed out of the room and down the hall away from where everybody was sleeping. Sara was still crying when they entered the main living area. There were no windows, as they were underground, and Janine had a strict “never go outside alone or at night” policy, but a quick glance at a clock on the wall showed that it was just after 4:30am.
Five bounced Sara in their arms in an attempt to soothe her. “Shhhhhh, it’s okay Sara, shhhh,” Five cooed. “What do you want?” Five rocked back and forth before settling on the couch. They stroked Sara’s soft hair and held her close against their chest. Just when Five was about to give up and grab Paula, Sara’s cries softened, and then there was silence.
Glorious, pure silence. Not even the seemingly ever-present sound of zombies penetrated the walls of their new home. Five could hardly remember the last time they enjoyed something so peaceful.
In the light of a lone candle, Five didn’t notice somebody approaching until they spoke up.
“Oh, good, you got her to sleep.”
Five nearly jumped out of their skin. Their heart was beating so hard and fast in their chest, they feared it would wake up the baby. Five laughed softly when they registered who the voice belonged to, slightly embarrassed.
“Oh my god, Sam. You scared me,” Five whispered. Sam’s face appeared in the candlelight. He wore a mask over his mouth and nose, a precaution Maxine insisted he wear to prevent spreading his virus, but his smile reached his eyes. He curled up on the couch opposite Five, gazing lovingly at the little bundle in their arms.
“Sorry, sorry,” he whispered. Sam coughed as quietly as he could into the crook of his arm to muffle the sound. “I couldn’t go back to sleep. I feel like my head is going to explode,” he grumbled nasally, massaging his temples.
“Sorry we woke you up,” Five smiled softly, resting their cheek on Sara's head. “I don’t really know how to deal with babies.”
“You seem to be doing a good job right now.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Five closed their eyes, and the silence returned, even if only for a moment before Sam began another coughing fit.
“Hey Five,” Sam spoke after clearing his throat. Five hummed, indicating they were listening. “Did you ever have kids? Y’know, before? You seem really good at caring for Sara.”
Five laughed softly. “Sam, I’m just holding her.”
“No, I know that. You know, all the other times. I’ve watched you feed her, change her, play with her... You seem like a natural.”
Five gently brushed their fingers across Sara’s dark hair. “No, never. Didn’t think I ever wanted kids either.” They paused before looking up into Sam’s eyes. “I guess now that the world’s ended, Sara represents the future. She’s the greatest thing that’s come from this mess, and I just want her to grow up happy because the world’s not going to be kind to her. It already hasn’t.”
This silence was thick and uncomfortable with thoughts of Veronica’s experimentation on little Sara. It pained them both knowing the first month of her life was spent getting stuck by needles and having blood drawn.
“Can I?” Sam asked, scooting next to Five so that their knees were touching. He stretched out his arms. Five gently transferred Sara over, and Sam wrapped his arms around her and held her against his chest.
They were quiet for a long while, both pairs of eyes on the sleeping baby nestled in Sam’s arms. Eventually, Five’s hands began to get antsy. They moved against Sam, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and bringing the other hand to softly brush across Sara’s head. Sam let out a soft sigh before resting his head against Five’s.
“This is nice,” Five spoke, barely above a whisper.
“Yeah, yeah it is.”