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It was a mistake, really.
Well, for him, it was.
It was a mistake. It was big mistake. It was a huge mistake.
But thinking about it now, it’s a mistake he wants to commit again. A mistake he’s willing to make again. A mistake he’s longing to do again.
He almost got to the point where he would rephrase what he said to her. But it was too late because she was already raising her hands up and saying, “No, no. It’s okay. I understand. I’m sorry.” Then she left. With no more words. Without waiting for his response.
She started avoiding him the next day (until it turned into days and weeks); reasoning that Coulson gave her a lot of paperwork to do, but he saw her hanging out with FitzSimmons down in the lab. He saw her watching Youtube videos in the lounge. He saw her coming out of the cockpit, obviously spending half of the afternoon with the pilot. And he was a hundred percent sure he saw her skipping down from Coulson’s office with a smile on her face. So what was wrong? Why didn’t she spend time with him? Did she took it personally? His words, did she took it personally?
“Skye, I- No. This isn’t right, Skye. We can’t.. You’re just.. This is wrong.”
As soon as her lips left his, the words quickly found their way out of his mouth. A moment he wished he could take back, but knew he couldn’t. Shouldn’t.
Letting your rookie kiss you is a mistake.
Kissing your rookie back is a mistake.
Circling your arm around her waist and tangling your hand in her hair is a mistake.
Pushing her against the wall while furiously kissing her is a mistake.
But it’s a mistake he wants to do again. Especially now that his rookie is seeing someone else. Just thinking about her lips on another man’s lips makes his throat dry. Her hands on another man’s chest.. Her legs around another man’s waist.. Her tongue tangled around another man’s tongue..
He wished he could take it back, really.
“This isn’t right?” He scoffs remembering his words. Isn’t right? It’s the rightest thing he’d ever done.
“We can’t?” He scoffs again. Of course, they can’t, but so what? She’s worth the trouble.
“You’re just..” Stupid, stupid, he mutters under his breath. You could have added “perfect” but you didn’t, dumbass.
“This is wrong.” Maybe it was, he thinks. And he had never wanted to do so much wrong in his life he does now.
It’s stupid how what he, they, did three weeks ago is still crystal clear in his head.
He sees her coming out of her bunk, dressed in a simple flower dress, feet in sandals, hair in a side-braid, a bag over her shoulder which falls to her waist. He checks his watch and sees the date.
Twenty-five days from the day they kissed. Twenty-five days she’s been avoiding him. Twenty-five days of not seeing her smile at him. Twenty-five days of no jokes when in training, hell even no words left her mouth. Twenty-five days of torture of not being able to be near her.
When he stands next to her in meetings, she scoots further away from him, and out of nowhere, finds an issue she could talk about with Jemma. Even when he sits next to her on dinner nights, she stands up and excuses herself for the bathroom, and when she comes back, she sits between Coulson and May. Even when he slouches down next to her on the couch during team movie night, she moves away and sits on the floor beside Fitz.
Twenty-five days of his brain reminding him of her sweet touch. Twenty-five days of his body aching for hers. Twenty-five days of his heart pounding against his chest, screaming at him to just kiss her again.
He doesn’t think twice when he stands up and walks to her. She was too preoccupied with fixing her bracelets that she didn’t even notice him getting up from the couch and walking towards her.
“Skye,” he says. It’s the first time in twenty-five days her name left his mouth. But it feels natural. Like he’s been saying it for years.
“Oh,” she gasped, looking up at him. “Hey, Ward.”
“Skye, I need you to talk to me,” he blurts out.
“Uhm, I am talking to you, Ward.”
“I need you to talk to me about what happened twenty-five days ago.”
“We already talked, Ward,” she says, and the way she crosses her arms over her chest makes him feel nervous. “It was a mistake. We shouldn’t have done it. Rookies and SOs aren’t supposed to do those kinds of things. I know because AC lectured me about protocols when I joined the team. I don’t think we need to talk, because we don’t have anything to talk about. I’ve already accepted that, and I’ve moved on -”
“But I haven’t.” He’s relieved his words left his mouth because honestly, he thought it was just his brain talking to him. It feels good, he thinks. Speaking from your heart and telling her exactly how you feel. It feels good, so he does it again. “I haven’t moved on from that kiss yet, Skye. Every night since you kissed me, I dream of it over and over again. Us kissing in the make-shift gym. Us kissing in your bunk; in mine. Us kissing in the lounge. Us kissing in the lab. Us kissing in the kitchen. Us kissing in -”
“What’s your point, Ward?”
“I miss it, Skye. I know I said it was a mistake, but I tried to redeem myself but you already left. And you never gave me the chance to talk to you because whenever I approach you, you seem to remember something and dash off. But I want you to know that it’s the first time in my whole life that I’m willing to commit a mistake if it means you kissing me. And I know you’re off to your weekly date with that agent back in the Hub, and I know you’re happy with him, and I know –”
He’s cut off when she walks nearer, and suddenly, they’re kissing. And damn, it feels good. It’s better because this time, it’s with emotions. Their first kiss was tainted with alcohol, and pure lust and desire. This kiss was pure emotion. It was gentle and sweet. His hands find her jaw and he cups it, pushing his lips against hers deeper. Her hands are around his waist, and he’s never been thankful like he is now, that Skye doesn’t know the words personal space.
This time, she’s the one who pulls away first. He tries leaning in again, but she puts a hand on his chest. She pushes him, but it’s no use when her other arm is still around his waist. She looks up and she’s still breathing heavily. She pants, “Stop. I need. To breathe. Ward.”
“Okay,” he smiles and leans his forehead against hers. It feels nice. Her arms go around his neck, and his hands slips down to her waist. It feels nicer. Being this close to her, being able to touch her, being able to call her his.. His? He sighs heavily.
“What’s wrong?” she asks. She might have noticed. She pulls away quickly and steps back away from him, as if realizing something. And it’s true because the next thing she says is, “Oh my god.. We did it again. Ward, I- I didn’t mean to. It was a mistake. I’m sorry –”
He cuts her off by pulling her to his chest again, and his arms are around her in an instant. “No, no,” he reassures her. “Skye, please let me talk. This wasn’t a mistake. I’ve always wanted this. I was just too incoherent the last time you kissed me, and you didn’t even give me the chance to tell you that I liked it.”
“I like it, too,” she smiles against his chest.
He pulls her closer, if it were possible, but then a thought strikes him. “Skye?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t you have a, you know.. date?”
“Uhm, no?”
Well, that’s something he didn’t expect. He pulls away a little, his arms loosening around her waist, but it’s still there. “I thought you were seeing that guy you met in the Hub?”
“James?” she laughs. Really laughs. “You think I’m dating James?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Ward! No,” she laughs harder. “James is my childhood friend! I’m just visiting him always because we have so much to catch up on. When we saw him in the Hub, I was just so excited because I didn’t know he worked for SHIELD. Oh my god.. Is that what people think? That we’re dating?”
“Well,” he says awkwardly. “You spend a lot of time together, and you dress really nice when you’re with him..”
“Aww. I dress nice? Why, thank you.”
“You always look nice,” he says before leaning down to kiss her.
When they pull away, she says, “Oh, man. People really think James and I are dating? That’s weird..”
It’s amazing how she can still think straight after kissing him. Because he can’t. You might want to give me a few seconds to return back to his normal self.
“Well, let’s. Go. Meet him. Now. And I. Can. Show. People. In. The Hub. That. You’re mine,” he says between kisses.
“I think you have your fair share of kisses today, Agent Ward,” she teases.
“Sucks,” he mumbles. “I was hoping I could do this always,” he says before kissing her again. And she’s smiling against his lips, and he takes that as an approval.