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...It’s Arrested Development.
Michael is taking a sick day and staying at home.
[Flashback to Michael in a hospital bed in pain and Dr. Stein looking far too joyous to be working there.]
After the big spectacle of Michael going to the hospital, he has learned his lesson to take it easy for a few days. He swears his leg doesn’t feel right when it rains.
Michael smacks his leg before he swings himself off the bed. “It must be raining again,” he mutters, grabbing his bathrobe off the chair and putting it on, all without looking out the window. He heads down the stairs to the kitchen, hoping there’s still coffee in the pot, but he won’t bet on it with this family.
“Michael!” Lindsay exclaims and hurriedly shoves something back into her purse. “I thought you were at work.”
“I am supposed to be,” Michael replies, trying to find a mug in the cupboards. “But I’ve learnt my lesson. So I am going to take it easy today and rest up.” He turns his head sideways to get a peek at whatever his sister tried to hide. “I see you are up to something already, Lindsay.”
Lindsay easily brushes off the remark. “I am not always ‘up to something’, Michael.”
“Of course not.” He sips on the lukewarm coffee.
“Michael!” Gob exclaims in a similar fashion of his sister as he makes a loud entrance into the house. “Just the man I was looking for.”
Michael cringes. Suddenly, a day back in his office sounds better off than being surrounded by two scheming siblings. That thought passes by with a blink of an eye as he sneezes so violently that his coffee spills all over his robe. “Son of a,” he mutters angrily, looking down at the damage the brown liquid had done, but relieved that the coffee had cooled down enough to not hurt him. “I am going up to change of out this mess. You two stay down here until I get back, okay?”
Both Gob and Lindsay don the same look on their face – their usual annoying half-smiled half-yeah-sure look – as they wait for Michael to leave.
Gob turns to Lindsay. “So,” he starts.
(The camera stays on them awkwardly for a few seconds before cutting to commercial.)
*
Let’s see what else is happening as we wait for Michael’s return to the kitchen.
George-Michael is sitting alone outside with half a sandwich and his textbook.
“George-Michael! Just the person I was looking for,” Maeby says loudly and plops herself on the seat across from him. George-Michael recognizes that gleam in her eyes. Despite it meaning trouble is ahead for him, he eagerly listens to what his cousin has to say. “I was hoping you would accompany me to this party, uh, this thing is hosting.”
The studio where Maeby’s been working at is hosting their annual celebration to flaunt how well they’ve done over the past year. Maeby had made up some excuse to un-invite herself from the party, but after one too many ‘Marry Me’ jokes she tosses to random male workers, she found herself making up another lie when another of the newer employee actually proposed to her – in fact, it was quite a spectacular in the studio’s parking lot when one of the famed directors – yes, he made us cover his face to use this clip – rushed out to see the commotion and started ranting and raving and dropping bombs at the poor employee.
“Sorry,” she slowly backed away from the man who was kneeling on the ground. “I, uh, have a boyfriend already! In fact we are very much in love and yeah!”
It wasn’t until her boss brought it up again last week did she remember the commotion.
Her boss tossed an invitation on Maeby’s desk. “Be sure to bring that boyfriend of yours,” he added.
“I would invite Steve Holt,” Maeby continues. She and her cousin turn to find Steve Holt raising his arms up, pumping his fists in the air and yelling Steve Holt! “But after that drugging incident, he’s been avoiding me. I’m not sure if he even remembers any of it.”
“It’s probably because he knows that you’re his cousin,” George-Michael suggests.
Maeby isn’t paying attention to her cousin as she tries to imagine how the party will turn out. Every scenario doesn’t turn out well. Oh well. “What did you say?”
*
Back at the house, Michael changes into something more appropriate now that the day is progressing on.
“I’m back,” Michael announces to an empty kitchen. “Well, that was quick.” He swears he hasn’t been gone for more than five minutes but they’ve scattered away already.
“Michael!” Tobias exclaims, wearing an outfit that looks similar to what Lindsay wore last week. Michael only remembers because Lindsay was complaining about buying the outfit, wearing it out to something, and bumping into some woman who was wearing exactly the same thing. He doesn’t doubt that it is the same outfit.
“Yes, Tobias. Good morning.”
“Good morning to you too, my dear brother-in-law. Have you seen my lovely wife this morning?”
Michael shakes his head. “She wasn’t here when I came down again.”
“That’s too bad,” Tobias replies, but his tone reflects differently. “Say, Michael. Could I borrow your car for the evening? I have an audition tonight and it would be easier than to call for a cab.”
Despite Michael being slightly sick, he isn’t actually delusional. But when he sees how eager the man looked, Michael feels bad, but not badly enough to give up the car, so he decides to tell a small fib. “I think George-Michael asked for it tonight...” he trails off.
Tobias bows his head down and walks away. Michael starts a coughing fit, holding onto the counter for support.
*
A few hours later, Michael finds himself lounging lazily on the couch. He wants to get off the couch since he starts feeling nauseous, but the twenty-four hour bug has hit him harder than he thought.
Lindsay walks by and slumps herself on the couch next to Michael’s. Michael turns his head. “Your husband was looking for you.”
“Yes, I know,” she frowns. “I’ve been trying to avoid him for days, but he doesn’t seem to get it at all.”
Michael’s had this discussion with his sister plenty of times before. But he knows that it will blow over as soon as something major happens to put it out of her mind. “He is your husband.”
“There is that. But he’s been suffocating me lately. I just want a break from it, you know? And there’s that work-out business we promised we would go through with it.”
Luckily, the kitchen alarm rings to signal the next dosage of Michael’s medicine.
Unbeknownst to Michael, someone in the house has replaced the day medicine with the night ones when it ran out and the person – insert a photo of Tobias – kept putting it off to get a new bottle until he forgot about it.
To no one’s surprise, Lindsay has taken notice of Michael’s current state. She is all smiles as she suggests helping Michael back into his room: “You’ll catch a cold sleeping here. Let me help you back to your bed where it’s warm and cozy. The bug will leave faster that way.”
The last time an opportunity like this came up, but Michael was still eighteen years old and living at home. Lindsay managed to scam him for some extra money.
“Thanks Michael! You’re the best,” Lindsay laughs joyfully. She tucks away the hundred and change into her pocket before Lucille walks by and sticks her head into Michael’s room.
The next day, Lindsay has a brand new dress in her closest while Michael finds himself short in his grad trip fund. Michael ends up working extra shifts in the banana’s stand to make up for the money.
*
Gob finds himself at his parent’s place. After his segway’s been confiscated by the cops, he’s been saving up – even that sounds ridiculous to his ears – for another one. But the place that sells them won’t give him one no matter how much money he’s tossed towards them. It didn’t process well with Gob considering how much money he’s tossing towards them.
“But look, isn’t this what you want?” Gob flashes the stack of money and waves it in front of the store owner’s face.
“Look man, I’m not going to have the cops on me again because you decided to ram it into a light pole.”
“Michael,” Gob says with determination.
/
Gob watches Michael return upstairs to change after he spills coffee all over himself. “I’m not going to stick around for this.”
Gob thought about asking Lucille to sign off on the form, but after remembering she tried to kill him – she thought it was him in a segway while she was driving, he thought better of it.
Up next is George. If Oscar was here, the man would be saying yes in the next heartbeat, but he’s off somewhere doing something. “Dad,” he starts, waving the sheet of paper in front of him. “Can you sign this for me?”
George waves him off without even looking at him once. Gob mumbles something or another. “Buster has to be here.”
Lucille rolls her eyes as she takes a sip of her morning martini. “Don’t bother. Your brother is off with Army again.”
“I thought that was over with,” Gob replies and shrugs, his mind already moving onto the next available person. He leaves the apartment without saying his goodbyes. Lucille and George barely noticed his absence until the next day when George will need Gob for another of his schemes.
*
Gob arrives back at the model home to find it empty. He hears voice upstairs, so he goes up to investigate. He still needs someone to buy the segway for him. At the moment, it is the utmost important thing he has to do for the day.
“Lindsay?” Gob stares at his sister, who’s standing in the hallway looking utterly annoyed. She will do. “So,” he starts off, stretching the ‘o’ to catch her attention.
“Whatever it is, I’m not interested,” Lindsay shoots back before Gob can continue.
“You haven’t even heard me out yet.”
“I’m not interested,” Lindsay bites back. “And you’re in my way.”
Gob follows his sister into Michael’s room. “What is going on?”
Lindsay stares at him for a bit, as if to size him up for something. “Michael is delusional right now. I need him to agree to give me access to the accounts.”
“What do you need the accounts for? And why am not involved with this?”
Lindsay grabs a chair and places it next to Michael’s bedside. She turns to Gob and hisses quietly. “Because you’ll be in my way. Keep your voice down, will you?”
“What can I do to help?” Gob asks, eager to have his hands on the money too. And the segway. He can use Michael to get the segway. “And I can use Michael to get my segway!”
Tobias walks into Michael’s room. “Lindsay! There you are.” He looks between the three Bluths and continues. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about –”
Lindsay cuts in before her husband can continue. “Tobias, not right now.” She turns to the bedridden Michael. “Michael, can you hear me? If you can hear me, uh, make some noise!”
Michael mumbles something incoherent and Lindsay thinks that’s good enough for her.
“So, I will need that dress I’ve been eyeing,” Lindsay says, pulling out Michael’s checkbook.
“I don’t get why you don’t just fake his signature,” Gob asks. He’s done it plenty of times when he needed money from the company and Michael or Dad wouldn’t give it to him. This is a waste of time. Michael won’t be able to help him to get his segway. Lindsay is too busy being stupid with Michael, so that leaves only Tobias.
“Tobias, I have a proposition for you,” Gob turns to the man standing too closely behind him.
“I’m all ears for you,” Tobias replies, wagging his index finger to make his point. “Or as those darn Brits will say, -”
Gob frowns. “I don’t want to hear it. I need someone to sign off on the segway that I’m buying. I have the money for it, but they don’t seem to want to take it.”
Lindsay shoos them away and says sweetly. “You two are going to make it worse for Michael.”
*
Gob and Tobias make their way to the segway store. When the store owner sees Gob at his doorstep, he is ready to shoo Gob away.
“I have brought you a new customer!” Gob exclaims, pushing Tobias to the counter.
“Yes, yes. I’m here to purchase one of those funny little cars that this man, next to me, has recommended me to buy.”
The store owner doesn’t believe Tobias is the one intended for the segway. But since a customer is a customer, and Gob will not be a liability to his store if his name is not attached to the form, he has no choice but to sell Tobias the vehicle.
“Take care of this, okay? I do not want to see you back here again,” he turns to Gob and says seriously.
“Finally, I can zip my way into tight areas!”
Gob doesn’t look amused as he watches his brother-in-law ride on what is to be his segway. “Get off, get off, get off,” he yells and nearly pushes Tobias onto the ground.
“I think I should be able to ride on this since I am the one who purchased this. This thing is amazing!”
Gob doesn’t think so but he watches the other man drive off onto the freeway. He looks up into the sky. He still doesn’t think it’s a sign as he is stranded in the middle of nowhere by himself.
*
Meanwhile, Lucille manages to con her way into a car since she needs to go to his son’s model home.
As she drives down the gravel road into the Bluth land, she spots a man on a segway.
Since she has her sunglasses on that’s a few shades too dark to be legal, she assumes anyone who’s on a segway is Gob, despite an earlier attempt to run over Gob while it is a case of mistaken identity.
“That’s for not running you over last time!” Lucille yells angrily and stomps on the accelerator.
“Ah!” Gobias gasps when he hears the noise of a car engine heading his way.
Lucille almost smirks before she spots the lack of hair on the segway’s owner. “This is not my day.”
*
Since an ambulance was dispatched to the Bluth’s model home for Tobias, Michael ends up tagging along because his flu made him feel worst and worst. It didn’t help that Lindsay has been buzzing in his ears without stopping.
“I think we all learnt a very valuable lesson here,” Lucille declares as she fixes her hair. She barely glances at Tobias who’s stuck in a leg cast and a sling for his arm. Lindsay is playing the good wife as she stands next to her husband. She just doesn’t get those two.
And that’s how Michael gets his leg fixed.
*
Since we spent too much time on the siblings and Tobias getting favours from Michael while he has no idea what’s going on, we never showed what happened tonight with Maeby and George-Michael.
On the next Arrested Development,
George-Michael drove them to the studio in his car’s car.
George-Michael looks out the window. “Where did you say the party was again?”
“In here,” Maeby points towards the parking lot. She hastily flashes the badge to the security guard.
/
“So that’s your boyfriend,” her boss quips.
Maeby forgets the pretense and frowns in confusion. “Him?”