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No matter how hard he tries, Kakyoin can't seem to keep his eyes closed and just fucking sleep. It's not as if their sleeping situation is what's making him so uncomfortable (although he isn't much of a fan of sleeping in a sleeping bag on the sand), but each time he begins to finally drift off, the anxious thoughts in the back of his mind rise up, successfully pulling him away from his stupor and eating away at him.
After what had felt like hours of nonstop tossing and turning, he accepts his fate of having yet another sleepless night. He sits up and rubs his eyes, causing them to somehow feel even heavier than they already had (he doesn't want to think about how tired he must look, he can physically feel the bags forming underneath his eyes).
Oh well, he thinks. The idea of going to sleep doesn't seem too pleasant anyway, not since they defeated Death 13. The rational part of his brain is telling him that he should have no reason to worry, that that baby is far enough away from them to do any more harm, but he knows far too well you can’t exactly reason with your fears if they're irrational to begin with.
He lets out a tired groan and rubs at his sore eyes once again. When he regains his vision, he glances around their campsite. Everyone is already well asleep, and he envies them for being able to sleep so peacefully; after all, he’s the only one who remembers their fight with Death 13, it’s no wonder he's the only one who can't.
For a good few moments, Kakyoin is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t take note of the empty sleeping bag. That's right, Jotaro was on watch tonight. He glances around briefly, and a bit of the way from their campsite, he can just barely make out a thin trail of smoke behind a good sized rock.
He knows from experience than being on watch can get awfully lonely and boring, and it’s not as if he could go to sleep at this point anyway, so he wraps his uniform coat around himself as a makeshift blanket and makes his way over.
Jotaro startles slightly in surprise when Kakyoin comes into his line of view. He must've been spacing out.
“What're you doing?” Jotaro inquires.
“Can't sleep. Mind if I join you?”
Normally, Jotaro would probably deny a request like that, with his whole “lone wolf” guise and all, but Kakyoin knows even he could use the company.
“...Sure.”
“‘Sure’ as in it's fine, or ‘sure’ as in you mind?” He teases.
Jotaro groans. “Good grief. You know what I mean.” He moves aside, creating a spot on the blanket for Kakyoin, which he gladly takes.
“Chilly night, huh?” Kakyoin observes, wrapping his jacket a bit tighter around himself.
Jotaro shrugs. “Not particularly.”
“Easy for you to say. You're basically a human furnace, it's like you absorbed all the heat in the air.” He says, gaining a small chuckle from Jotaro. It's quiet, almost inaudible, but he definitely notices it. “I’m freezing, we should move back near the fire.”
“Hm… ‘s nice over here though. I like it.”
“Fine, but you should move closer to me. You're warm.”
“Oh,” is all Jotaro says before doing so, scooting close enough for their shoulders to touch.
Kakyoin leans against him and rests his head on Jotaro's shoulder, feeling content. “That's better.”
Exactly when did they become this comfortable with one another? Kakyoin can't help but wonder as his mind begins to wander.
It's true they didn't talk much at first, but after learning about their mutual interest in Sumo wrestling, one conversation led to another and they found themselves nearly attached at the hip, spending their free time discussing all kinds of things; school, hobbies, aspirations. Kakyoin learned that Jotaro wants to become a Marine Biologist, and while Kakyoin enjoys being able to discuss his own interests, he would much rather just listen to Jotaro talk about his fascination of the ocean for hours on end. At first, Kakyoin was in slight disbelief, wondering how a delinquent student like himself could be so ambitious, which led to him to discover that that wasn't actually the case and that Jotaro actually worked hard and did very well in school, he was just good at hiding the fact. Of course, this led to more teasing from the redhead.
Once Kakyoin had felt comfortable enough around Jotaro, he asked him why he was so quiet in comparison to the rest of their group. He had been expecting some deep answer, but Jotaro confessed it was only because he wasn't very confident in his English. That earned a bout of laughter from the other boy.
“Is that why you talk to me, then? Because I'm the only other one who speaks Japanese?” He had asked, curious.
“N-no, that's not...” he pulled his hat down in a failed attempt to hide his very obviously flushed face. “That's not the only reason.”
“I see. Then I'm glad.” Kakyoin hummed. He decided not to push him about it further.
And ever since then, there's been this… thing going on between the two of them. It's unspoken of, but there's just something that just seems to draw them together naturally (other than the fact that they were both Stand users, of course). They find themselves often sharing touches, whether it be a simple hand on the shoulder, or like this, just sitting beside each other and sharing warmth.
Neither of them can quite explain it, or rather, neither of them feel the need to explain it. At least not just yet.
All he knows is that Jotaro makes him feel… warm (quite literally speaking in the current situation), and that he's very much comforted by his presence. Most people would typically think of Jotaro as being cold, emotionless, unwilling to open up to anybody, but it didn't take Kakyoin long at all to find out that none of those things are actually true, and he prides himself on being the only one that Jotaro allows to be this close to him.
Kakyoin is pulled out of his reminiscence when Jotaro shifts slightly against him, and he glances up to see Jotaro pulling out a cigarette and placing it between his lips and swiftly flicking his lighter. The bright light of the cigarette heavily contrasts the dark of night. He takes a deep puff of it and Kakyoin grimaces. It's a disgusting habit, he thinks, but he's at least glad Jotaro has the courtesy of blowing the smoke in the other direction as to not get it directly in his face.
“Not to sound like a broken record or anything, but you should really quit. It's not good for you.”
“Good grief. You sound like my mother.”
“Well, since she's not here, guess it's my job for the time being.”
Jotaro chuckles, lightening the mood a bit. “...I’ve tried quitting before. It always seems to come back one way or another, especially when I'm stressed.”
“You smoke all the time, though.”
“Exactly.”
Kakyoin laughs and puts his hands up in defense. “Guess I can't argue with that.”
It's silent for a while, but it's not uncomfortable, relaxing, even. It's a nice change from the constant chaos of the whole situation. The both of them could use some time to relax and just enjoy the beautiful view of the night sky for a while. The sky is clear, the stars are bright and visible, and the moon is full and illuminating.
He realizes he must've spaced out for quite a bit when he feels Jotaro move slightly to put cigarette out in the sand.
“Earlier… you said you couldn't sleep, ‘s something bothering you?” Jotaro asks, taking his gaze away from the sky to look in his direction, and Kakyoin does the same. He notices how the moonlight reflects beautifully against Jotaro's skin. It’s a mesmerizing sight; if he had a camera in the moment, he’d take a picture, but he doesn’t, so he locks the image into his memory.
Instead, he offers a fake smile. “Eh, not really, no.”
“Kakyoin.”
Another thing Kakyoin has learned about the other boy is that, despite appearing otherwise, Jotaro is actually very good at reading other people. It's obvious that he can tell something is up.
He sighs. There’s no use lying, he supposes. “I guess just this whole situation overall. But… I can't stop thinking of my parents. I… never told them where I went.” He sighs, looking down at the sand. He begins to mindlessly trace drawings into it with his finger. “They're probably worried sick about me.”
“You didn't tell them?” Jotaro questions, genuinely surprised.
“No. The whole thing was kind of a rash decision, I wasn't really thinking of them at the time. I meant to tell them, of course, but it just… never happened, I guess. The longer I wait, the harder it gets. It's not as if they were very easy to talk to in the first place, either.” He confesses. It's sad to admit, but he's never been terribly close with his parents, as much as he'd like to be. Having grown up a stand user, he's always distanced himself from others, including his own family.
Jotaro says nothing at first, but after a few moments, he speaks up. “...Do you regret it? Coming along, I mean.” He asks.
It's a difficult question. He has to ponder for few moments, but he eventually comes up with an answer.
“No, I don't regret it. It's true our lives are in danger...” he thinks of Avdol. Although he knows he's very much alive, his “death” still served as a very real warning that any of them could die at any time. Shivering in fear, he remembers just how lifeless he had looked back then. He can almost smell the strong scent of blood fill the air just thinking about it. “There's the constant fear of being attacked by Stand users, and of course, the fear of facing DIO again, but, um… promise you won't make fun of me, but-”
“I wouldn’t.” Jotaro interjects. Kakyoin smiles, still looking at the drawings he made in the sand.
“I finally have friends for the first time. Sure, I've had them in the past, but they felt like nothing more than acquaintances. I never got close enough to anyone to create any lasting friendships. It wasn't any of their faults, though. It was simple; nobody except me could see Hierophant Green, therefore nobody could understand us. It was pretty lonely, but it was just how things were. There was no controlling it.” He takes a deep breath, allowing him to calm his wracked nerves. “I know the circumstances are strange, but being here, with you guys… it's the closest to home I've felt in a long time.” With you especially, he wants to say. “If I had to go back and remake my decision to go with you, I still would. Really. I'm glad to have met all of you. I'm glad we met, Jotaro.”
He isn't used to expressing his feelings so openly like this to anyone. It's a strange feeling, but not a bad one, to say the least. If anything, it feels as if a weight is being lifted off of his shoulders. There's a long pause, and can feel Jotaro's eyes on him, and for only a moment, he's afraid he might've said too much, but he pushes that thought down quickly when he looks up and sees the soft, understanding expression on Jotaro's face.
Jotaro tugs his hat down; a nervous habit of his, Kakyoin’s noticed. “I-if I can confess something, too…”
“Of course.”
“I've never really had friends, either. At least, not any close friends. Not until now. Never really cared enough, I guess, people were always too much to deal with. But now… I'm starting to think it might not be so bad.” He pauses briefly. “I wish you didn't have to be put in danger like this, but I'd be lying if I said I wish you hadn't come along. So, uh…” He tugs at his hat again. “I know I'm not good with words like you are, but I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm glad we met too.”
“Jotaro…”
Kakyoin decides to make a brave move, and before he can change his mind, he takes Jotaro's hand into his own, lacing their fingers together. He doesn't dare make eye contact.
A moment passes, and he thinks maybe he shouldn't have done that, that it was too bold of a move, but he feels Jotaro's hand squeeze his own, and it feels right. Their hands are a bit sweaty, but nonetheless, Kakyoin's hand feels perfect in Jotaro's own.
They stay like that for a bit, until Kakyoin moves his head to look up at Jotaro. What he didn't realize was that Jotaro had moved his head at the same time and they wind up with their mouths mere inches apart.
He sees Jotaro flick his eyes down at Kakyoin’s lips for a split moment and back up to his eyes, and he can see in Jotaro's expression that he hopes Kakyoin didn't notice. But oh, was he wrong.
Kakyoin swallows. “...You're going to kiss me, right?”
“U-uh, that's-”
“Relax. I want you to.” He grips his hand tighter around Jotaro's.
Jotaro lets out a shaky sigh. He's nervous, and when they start to lean in Kakyoin finds that he is as well.
The way Jotaro's lips touch his ever so softly feels unreal. If by some cruel chance this is a dream, it's one that he never wants to wake up from.
He leans in just a bit more and fully slots their lips together. He closes his eyes and squeezes Jotaro's hand once more. Jotaro's other hand comes up to caress the side of his face. It's so, so gentle, almost as if he's afraid of somehow hurting him.
The kiss only lasts for a moment or two before they both pull back, and Kakyoin can't help but grin at just how giddy he feels despite the slight feeling of awkwardness between them.
“Blehh, cigarette breath.” He jokes, sticking his tongue out in mock disgust.
Jotaro rolls his eyes. “Oh, shut up.” He says, and kisses him again. Even if it is clumsy and a bit messy, nothing could make him feel more content than the feeling of Jotaro’s lips pressed against his own. There's that warm feeling in his gut again, but it's not bad.
This time, when they pull back, he keeps his eyes closed and rests his forehead on Jotaro's shoulder, snuggling into it.
I think I like you, Kakyoin desperately wants to say, but despite everything that just happened, he’s still unable to make the words leave his lips.
“You're warm.” He says instead. “Can we stay here?”
Jotaro replies with a simple grunt of approval. Their hands are still twined together, and Kakyoin never wants to let go. Countless questions rest in the back of Kakyoin’s mind; just what's going to happen to them after this is all over? Even if they all make it out of this, will they still be as close as they are now? ...What if one of them doesn't make it back?
No. He refuses to let himself think that way. It'll only make their situation worse and it doesn't do any good to alleviate his anxiety. Instead, he lets his gaze wander to the stunning night sky and thinks about there's nowhere he'd rather be than here, snuggled up against Jotaro's side with his hand in Kakyoin's own, just feeling his warmth beside him.
He’s not sure how much time passes, but they sit in comfortable silence for a long while, and Kakyoin can feel himself relaxing again; maybe he’ll actually be able to get some sleep tonight, after all. The moment he feels his eyelids begin to droop, Jotaro breaks the silence.
“What is… this, exactly.” He asks, knowing very well that the question was lingering in both of their minds.
Kakyoin ponders, gathering his thoughts together. “We don't have to make anything official yet. We can wait until this whole thing blows over and we get back to Japan,” He finally says.
There’s another silence. “But what if…” Jotaro hesitates. “What if-”
“We will make it through this.” He interrupts. “We’ll defeat DIO and make it out of this alive. That’s a promise.”
Jotaro takes a deep breath, seemingly trying to calm himself. “Yeah, you’re right, we will.” He says with determination, squeezing Kakyoin’s hand again.
This whole mess they're in… he promises himself he will get through it. For Jotaro, for his parents, for himself.
“And, um, Kakyoin… one last thing.”
“Mhmm?”
“Can I call you Noriaki?”
Kakyoin smiles, feeling warm. “Yeah. I'd like that.”
And for the final time that night, they fall into comfortable silence, listening only to each other's breathing and the various sounds from the wilderness that surrounds them.
Eventually, Jotaro shifts again to pluck another cigarette from its case. Kakyoin doesn't lecture him this time, only lets the sound of Jotaro slowly inhaling and exhaling serve as background noise, and he finds it strangely relaxing. Bringing his knees to his chest, he fully rests against Jotaro, leaving their hands intertwined (they're getting a bit sweaty, he notices, but he doesn't mind. It serves as a reminder that Jotaro is there with him).
The last thing he remembers before finally falling into a deep, comfortable slumber is the feeling of a soft kiss being left atop his head.
And that night, he dreams of home.