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When Kevin thinks about Jacob the first thing that comes to his mind is his adorable smile. Every time Jacob smiles Kevin feels the need to tell the sun that it lost its job now. Every time Jacob smiles Kevin just wants to put him into a bunch of pillows and feed him cookies. Every time Jacob smiles Kevin feels his heart being filled with love. Every time Jacob smiles Kevin falls for him once again.
They have been together for almost three years now and every time Kevin sees Jacob's smile he knows that he still loves him with his whole being. He is sure that this is the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
Kevin loves Jacob. Kevin loves it when Jacob and he can spend a night at home, just the two of them. Kevin loves it when Jacob lets his head fall onto Kevin's shoulder and slowly falls asleep while they are watching a film. Kevin loves it when Jacob later wakes up, looks at him and gives him this smile of his the younger one adores so much.
Kevin can understand Jacob without words. They are a perfect match.
At least that was what Kevin thought.
"I can't do this anymore. I wanna break up. I'm sorry", Jacob says and then all Kevin sees is Jacob walking away with his two bags. The brown haired boy doesn't turn around. Not one time he dared to look at the mess he left behind.
It's been two weeks since Kevin last heared anything from Jacob, two weeks since he last saw his beautiful face, two weeks since he last heard his soft voice, two weeks since the love of his life left him.
"Come on, Hyung.", Eric said to him "you have to finally face him again. I know it will be hard but we all will stay by your side. Our manager said that if you don't turn up tomorrow he will kick you out of the group."
On the one hand Kevin knew that their manager would never dare to really kick him out of the group but on the other hand he didn't want to take the risk. The black haired boy also knew that Eric was right, he would have to face Jacob sooner or later. He already spent enough time drowning in his tears. His heart was broken but he had to be a man. Kevin gave Eric a small encouraging smile and quietly said "Tell our manager that I will be there tomorrow." It couldn't hurt that bad, Kevin thought.
Kevin's thought was wrong, so damn wrong. It hurt. Like crazy. Seeing Jacob looking at Hyunjae like he used to look at him. With all the love and happiness in his eyes. Kevin wanted to run away, back to his apartment, back to drowning in his tears because the one who loved him left him. Now Jacob was there, only a few metres away from him, basically glued to Hyunjae and looking happier than ever. Every word that left Hyunjae's mouth seemed to make Jacob laugh and soft giggles left his mouth way too often.
"Kevin stop killing Hyunjae-hyung with your glares. The recording starts in a few minutes so please get a grip of yourself and show us your charming smile.", Changmin said to him and patted his shoulder. Kevin was unable to say anything so he just gave Changmin a hug and told him that he will try his best.
The interview went rather smooth, Kevin answered a few questions and avoided to look to Jacob as much as possible. He couldn't stop himself from stealing a few glances though and every time he did Jacob either looked at the camera with his warm smile or at Hyunjae. It seemed like Kevin suddenly became invisible to Jacob.
As soon as Kevin arrived at his apartment he let himself fall onto his bed and stared blankly at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity to the Canadian boy. After a while he got up and put in some music, a wonderful sad ballad. And there they were again, warm tears running down his cheeks. "Been a while since I last saw you guys", Kevin thought and let out a small chuckle.
It slowly became a routine. Kevin dragged himself to interviews, variety and music shows showed everyone his charming smile, how Changmin called it, but as soon as he got home he put in a ballad and let the tears run down his cheeks to the rhythm of the music. Afterwards he often stuffed himself with ice cream he had bought on his way home.
It took a while but then also the fans started noticing that something was off with their loved Kevin Moon. When The Boyz held a fansign a fan told him to not lose his wonderful, perfect, charming, cute, loveable smile because she remembers that this was the exact reason why she fell for him and then became a fan. Other fans told him many encouraging words and again others gave him cute smiley pillows or stickers. Kevin appreciated the love and affection of the fans but it didn't change his mind a lot. What did was the last fan he talked to before they had to end their fansign. This fan told him to always fight for what he wanted and to not give up despite some obstacles. For some reason this encouraged Kevin so much he ended up jumping up and giving the boy in front of him a short but tight hug.
When Kevin got home that day he didn't bother to put in a sad ballad but instead went for a song with a good beat and a rhythm that made him dance just a teeny tiny bit.
Two days later Jacob found himself standing in front of the door of exactly the apartment Kevin and he used to share not too long ago. The younger one had asked him to come over to clear everything and also so Jacob could pick up all his belongings he left behind. The small brown haired boy was unsure if this was really a good idea but then he threw his doubts away and entered.
"Kevin?", he asked as soon as he stepped fully into the apartment. Relieved Jacob let out a breath and then directly went to the room that used to be his bedroom and started packing the last things.
"Oh Jacob, I thought I heard something. You're here a bit earlier than I expected.", when Jacob turned around he could see Kevin standing there with just a towel around his hips. The older boy gulped when he saw Kevin's soft stomach he used to lay his head on. Jacob needed a lot of willpower to keep his gaze on just Kevin's face because there was no denying that Kevin Moon was a handsome guy.
"Oh... I'm sorry about my outfit. I just wanted to talk to you before you would leave again. Just pack the last stuff and I'll quickly put on some clothes. Promise me you won't leave before we talked ok?", Kevin said while looking at Jacob with such a sincere look on his face.
"Promise...", Jacob stated, then he heard Kevin giggle and before he knew the younger one was out of the room.
When Kevin reached his bedroom he closed the door, got rid of the towel and put on some clothes faster than he ever did before in his life. He quickly checked if he looked acceptable in the mirror and then placed himself on the couch in the living room to wait for Jacob.
The couch they used to watch films on together. The couch they cuddled on together. The couch on which they shared their first kiss together. The couch where Jacob used to fall asleep on his shoulder.
Jacob packed his things noticeably slower after encountering Kevin. While he collected his last socks laying around in the room he couldn't stop himself from letting his mind drift to Kevin. His cute smile. His caring side. His soft hands which Jacob used to hold more than just once. The comfortable hugs they shared nearly everyday. His soft lips touching Jacob's. Jacob's name leaving these soft lips while Kevin looked at him with only love in his eyes.
Eventually the brown haired boy finished packing, grabbed his last bag and left the room. When he entered the living room he already saw Kevin sitting on the couch looking at him with a beaming smile. Jacob had a weird feeling in his stomach.
He placed the bag next to the door and then took a seat next to his ex-boyfriend.
"Jacob...", Kevin looked at him, the smile gone and with watery eyes "why did you suddenly leave me? Why did you want to break up? Am I not good enough? I can always improve. I can improve with your help. I can improve with you by my side. Or... Did you.. Leave me because of... Him?" The last words barely were audible and when Kevin became quiet Jacob looked up. Tears were running down Kevin's face and the brown haired boy wanted to scream. He felt terrible. He never wanted to hurt the younger. Before he could realise what he was about to do his lips touched Kevin's. How he had missed this feeling. Sparks filled his stomach. He started to smile.
After they ended their kiss there was only one thing left to do. Jacob pushed Kevin backwards and then hugged him tightly. Soft whispers left the mouth of the older boy "Kevin... Never say that you aren't good enough. You are perfect, even more than that. Something like super perfect." After Jacob said that he giggled and looked Kevin directly in the eyes "I love you."
The younger boy stared back at him, his tears had already stopped flowing, what was left was a beautiful smile on the beautiful face of a beautiful boy. Kevin lifted himself up just enough to leave a soft kiss on Jacob's nose "I love you more but don't you ever again dare to hurt me like this again or I will have to punish you." He gave the brown haired boy a dirty look and then kissed him again. After they ended their kiss Jacob gave him a smile and Kevin felt himself falling for Jacob all over again.