Work Text:
His predecessor was something of a failure. He wasn't exactly the first failure, but he would be the last. Through the history of demon kind they always told the same slightly depressing story.
'Seven keys to save us from damnation'.
Of those seven only one was missing. Annoying as that was, it wasn't all. Of all the beings to keep them in hell, it was a human; a stupid tailless monkey. Oh sure, they're cute. They're really adorable when you look at them with their big eyes and their expressive faces, it's almost like they are thinking something. But then you bring one home and they are suddenly covering you with the blood of the Savior and everything goes to shit.
The previous collector was somebody that Redman actually did look up to. He appreciated the guy's style, candor, and sense of flair. When he did a possession, he did it with panache. All demons appreciated panache. What Redman didn't appreciate, was Jeryline. Like all the other tailless monkeys, she was clever and just adorable really. Like Brayker was. A little nicer on the eyes, he had to admit. But that didn't make her any less annoying; that girl was just impeccable with her ability to say no.
Things would just be so much easier if they would just do as they were told. But no, they wouldn't listen to God, so they sure as Hell wouldn't listen to Redman. And Jeryline was smart, smarter than Brayker.
She was a challenge, he wouldn't able to break her emotionally, and he wouldn't be able to beat her psychologically. He would have to outsmart her. Then get a demon to eat her face, which while a shame in reality, certain things needed to happen. If that meant that her face was going to get eaten by a demon then that was what it was going to take. He knew from the moment she dripped blood onto the platform of that bus that she was going to be a little problem.
That however, was not as annoying as the time that she dropped blood in every car at the rental lot. That was more than mildly annoying. Redman hated stealing cars on principle; one never knew what they were going to get. This time he was stuck in a Bronco. A Ford Bronco. An '82 ford bronco if things could have been more embarrassing. His mother would have had a fit.
Redman looked around the cab of the vehicle and ripped the hula girl off the front dash, then he threw her out the window. When she shattered on the pavement it did alleviate his mood a bit. Though it didn't catch Jeryline
You would think that humans would be emotionally fragile, really. Their lives were so short; they'd been through how many already? Well into the hundreds, it was ridiculous. It was really pathetic how long they'd been juggling that key. At this point it was as if the Second Coming was going to happen before they found the key.
But being a Collector was about patience, it was about trickery, but most of all, it was about getting that goddamn key.
-+-
At least he knew where to go. Unlike humans, demons were more advanced creatures. They didn't need a dial, or the stars, or GPS. They knew what they were looking for and intrinsically, they would find it. What was that smell? Redman pulled over and began looking around the vehicle. He found something … Glade?... refill? Humans smelled so bad that they had to shove something under the seat that smelled worse to cover it?
He hated Earth. Redman didn't quite understand why the Big Guy wanted it so bad and he was not going to argue. One did not argue with the Devil, it was unwise. Hell sucked, but it was better than snow, Broncos, and what looked to be "tropical breeze". The air freshener joined the Hula Girl on the highway.
Another thing that Redman hated, the list was getting quite long, was airplanes. Jeryline had somehow managed to get her little ass onto an airplane. It made tracking a little more difficult, as did airport security.
As soon as he touched down, he would know. Funny, Redman always remembered her wanting to travel the world, London, to Paris – that place smelled like ass too – he couldn't wait to get home.
His boss was not impressed with his progress report. Redman settled into a dingy chair at a seedy motel and propped his feet up on the rest. Meditation was not about sitting with ones legs in an awkward position and your hands in strange positions. It was about concentration alone. Redman lit a cigarette, took a long drag, and waited.
It wasn't long before his boss showed up, now she was a looker with a thick figure and vicious purple eyes. She was evil plane and simple and god was it good on her. "You're not even close to Jeryline, are ya?" Her drawl was smooth like butter, but everyone's was.
"No ma'am, I ain't."
Her tail twitched in aggravation, but for his boss, that was constant. "Well at least you know where she is? I'm about done watching your ass fail."
"Ain't failed yet, Ma'am. Almost time." Redman adjusted the brim of his hat and smirked at her.
"The point is to catch her before the stars align! Otherwise you just end up killing a whole mess of people and then I have to send someone else. Have you not seen the pattern here? I'd do it my damn self if I could, but I have to send one of ya'll."
It wasn't as though he didn't know that. Redman then realized where he had to go. "Understood ma'am. She just touched down in Iowa."
"You better hope you catch her". And with that the boss was gone. Redman took another drag on his cigarette and waited. Iowa had to be better than Jackson Mississippi
-+-
He knew, however, that Jeryline's compulsion to violence would be her ultimate undoing. He caught up with her after a bar fight in Iowa City. She was spitting pissed too, it was gorgeous. Redman knew that she could tell his voice by now. The two of them had danced around each other too much to not know each other. He was the picture of a worried family member. "Well officer, she's been worrying us sick you know? She'll get it in her to that she's not off and she just …ain't right you know, officer?"
It was no real coincidence that they all had the same southern drawl. Humans trusted southern accents more than they did the others. It conveyed sincerity. It could have been that he just didn't want to deal with Jeryline. Redman didn't blame him. "She tears stuff up like you wouldn't believe at home, officer. We really appreciate you holdin' onto her. But you don't want to bother yourself any of that paperwork for a crazy lady, did ya?"
In truth the officer didn't. He looked like he had been going three or so days himself without sleep. He was probably just happy to have coffee and a bagel. "No I suppose not." He agreed and itched at his stubbly chin. He was a good example of law enforcement, truth be told. He was nowhere near as Podunk as the ones that his predecessor had dealt with. This one was strong bodied, intelligent, attractive. As a matter of fact, if Jeryline's hand was showing the right signs, Redman might be worried about this one.
"She didn't happen to have nothing on her did she? She carries around this heirloom with her, used to belong to our grandmother."
"Heirloom?"
"Yeah, it looks like a key, kinda a gothic sort of thing; we're from New Orleans you see. Grandma was a little off herself." He fiddled with his hat a bit, to add a sense of nervousness to the situation. Humans liked that as well.
He scratched the back of his neck. "Uhm… you know I don't think we checked her in yet. The female officer is busy dealing with other issues". He really was happy to see her go.
Jeryline, by contrast was not happy to see Redman at all. She was mad as a hellcat, anger looked good on her.
"Jeryline, now why do we keep fighting like this?"
She glared at him and glared at the officer. By now, Jeryline knew that if she started talking about blood and demons and the end of the world that people would think she was a crazy lady. It did sound crazy, couldn't blame people for picking up on the obvious. "And what did you do with Gran's key, Jeryline?"
She didn't respond other than a vicious stare.
He sighed. "Now that nice officer said he'd forget you were even here and we could go home. But you have to behave, Jeryline. Ya promise?"
Jeryline spat at him through the bars. "I ain't promising you shit."
He looked at the officer and shrugged. "Whatcha going to do? She's family can't just leave her."
"She isn't my family. Get her out of my cell and out of my sight." He unlocked the door, and she did try to bolt, but that big strong officer just grabbed her arm and yanked her back. He didn't bother to watch them leave. Once outside, Jeryline did make a hard run for it and Redman had to chase her down.
He ended up tackling her in a brick alley. He slammed her face into the wall. There was a snap as one of her tooth chipped against the rough surface. By now it was par for the course. "Jeryline, I hate hurting you. Why do we keep doing this to each other? Why don't you just give me the key?" She struggled against him but didn't respond otherwise. "I'm not the other Collector and I have nothing to do with Brayker dying. This is between you and me."
"You're right." She hissed. "This is between you and me." And then that little shit stepped right back onto the inside of his ankle. Redman hated human bodies and pressure points. With a yelp he let go of her collar and the two of them spun around before they crashed into trash bags that smelled better than tropical breeze. They rolled a moment before he could feel that stupid key press against his neck. He snarled and launched Jeryline's body off of him. They both rolled to their feet and stared at each other.
"Jeryline." He drawled out her name in more syllables that needed. "Can't we just come to an agreement? You wanted to see the world, but not like this, did you?"
She glanced at her palm; that was worrying. "No… I didn't."
"Jeryline, can't we reach an agreement, I promise – "
She rocked from side to side. "Like you'll keep a promise"
Well you had to admit that she had him there. She was trying to think back on a time where he had actively kept a promise and yeah, she had him there.
"Now we could make this real messy with demons and blood and killing everyone in that police station. Maybe letting some people out, now that would be entertaining wouldn't it?"
Her jaw set. Despite all outward appearances, Jeryline was a real wet blanket. He knew that she just couldn't stand the idea of mass chaos and a bunch of criminals running the street. She never did know how to have any fun. "I'm not giving you this key, Redman."
"Now I think it's about time that you realize you're going to give me that key before you die or after you die and you can pick."
"No." Her voice was calm and her tone was that of someone speaking to a spoiled child.
Redman slammed a fist against the wall in frustration. You couldn't blame him; this woman was aggravating. He'd run through every state in that stupid country. "You are making this got damn difficult Jeryline!" He never could say the word 'God' properly.
Jeryline looked at him and she smirked. Then she pulled a gun and shot twice. What kind of operation was that cop running?
Redman did not like regenerating eyes. "It only works on lower demons!" he yelled while she ran off. Redman blindly thrashed about the alleyway, incapable of doing much more than throw trash around and listen as Jeryline ran out of earshot.
-+-
Once Redman had his eyesight back, he was back on Jeryline's trail. She hadn't left the city behind for some reason. The building she'd ran to was only about thirty five miles outside of the city proper. The building she was staying in was interesting. …a church
That was problematic. Redman found himself circling the building a couple of times, the ever-present stench of the divine made his stomach twitch "That little bitch"
He should have killed her in the stupid police office. He should have killed everything. Damn his propensity for perfection.
A church.
A motherfucking church.
Suddenly one of the little bible thumpers came out. He wasn't as attractive as the officer. Beer belly and bitch tits. He crossed his arms over those bitch tits and scowled. "Poor Jeryline has told us all about you."
He tilted his head to one side. "Awww, did she say I was a demon coming to take her to hell?"
"No, she said you were her drunken father."
"…oh." Since when had Jeryline learned to lie? He'd be proud of her if it wasn't so damned inconvenient.
"You can get off her property or we can call the police."
"Very well." Really was a shame for that nice attractive officer, now wasn't it? Redman smiled and turned on heel. If they wanted to see the police, then they'd just have to do that same song and dance again. The classics never got old.