Work Text:
Ryan was sharpening his sword when Michael burst into his house.
"Ryan, you’ve gotta come now!" He shouted, grabbing the older man’s arm, and pulling him out of Kung-Fu house.
"What’s going on?" He asked, falling into a run behind Michael.
"We fucked up again. Well, Ray and Gav fucked up." He told him, and they started sprinting off towards the Altar of Pimps.
Once it came into view Ryan stopped running, his mouth falling open at the sight of the remaining two lads standing over a giant gaping hole in the side.
"How the hell did you guys manage to do that?" He asked. "Not even you three are that destructive!"
"It wasn’t us, Ryan!" Gavin shouted.
"It was at least 60 Creepers! How could we stop that?"
"Where did all the Creepers come from?" Ryan asked confused.
"We didn’t mean to set them all off, it just sort of happened.." Gavin trailed off.
"That still doesn’t explain where they came from." Ryan asked again.
"Oh, um…" Ray trailed off. "I found a chest, that Geoff must have left around or something, and there were some Creeper eggs in them. I gave a few… dozen to Gavin, and he tripped, and dropped all his, and then pushed me while running away, and I dropped all mine.." He turned around sheepishly afterwards, avoiding Ryan’s look by placing a block.
"You were stupid enough to give Gavin Creeper eggs…" Ryan trailed off. "No, no, that’s not fair, I guess. Geoff was stupid enough to leave Creeper eggs were you idiots could find them!"
"Listen Ryan, you just have to help us fix it before Geoff and Jack get back!" Michael told him. "You know we’re not supposed to touch things in the chests we find, or mess with the Alter."
"Or anything else for that matter. Geoff doesn’t trust us with anything." Gavin pouted.
"Do you blame him?" Ryan asked, gesturing at the hole.
"Ryan, please!" Ray begged.
"I’m not helping you clean up your own stupidity!"
"Oh, come on! Team Love ‘n’ Stuff?"
"Team Crazy Mad!"
"R ‘n’ R Connection!"
Ryan looked at the three of them before sighing loudly. “I fucking hate all of you.” The Lad’s smiles all grew and he sighed again, glaring at Michael. “Michael, next time you interrupt me while I’m sharpening my sword, I’m stabbing you with it.”
"That’s a yes!" Michael shouted happily, and Ryan groaned.
"Woo! Thanks Ryan!" The three yelled, running off to get some pick-axes and any stone they had at their houses.
"We can probably find some stone in the vault under Geoff’s house!" Gavin yelled.
"Don’t touch it!" Ryan shouted, running after them. "You’ll probably set the pool off or something!"
- - -
Two hours later, Ryan was moving another block into place, groaning inwardly. The things he let those three little punks talk him into.
Taking a break to wipe the sweat off his brow, he looked down to see Ray placing another stone block, Michael coming back out of the mine, and Gavin throwing his scarf in the pile with Michael’s hat, Ray’s cape and a few other items of hot clothing. He then assessed the rest of the damage.
They had fixed most of it in the few hours they had been at work, but there was still an obvious hole in the Altar, noticeable if you stood on the right side for miles.
"Oh, fuck." He heard Ray say, and looked back at where he was looking.
"What?" Gavin asked, and Ryan saw what Ray was seeing.
"Geoff and Jack are back!" Ryan shouted, pushing blocks into place more quickly.
"Hurry!" Gavin yelled, shoving blocks into place quicker and quicker.
"We’re fucked." Michael groaned, running up the side of the Altar.
"No, wait!" Gavin shouted, shielding his eyes from the sun.
"They’re turning around!" Ray finished, and they could plainly see in the distance, Geoff checking his inventory, before shoving Jack in the other direction.
"Yes! There is hope!" Ryan laughed, going back to sticking blocks together.
- - -
Another hour later, the four were sitting outside of Ryan’s house, rubbing aching joints, and wiping sweat from their foreheads.
"That’s was bloody awful."
"How do you think Michael and I feel, it wasn’t even our fault and somehow we got stuck cleaning it!"
"At least Geoff didn’t find out, because when he’s not happy, no one’s happy." Gavin chuckled, taking a drink.
"I don’t know, Geoff unhappy can be kind of fun sometimes." Ryan shrugged.
As if on queue, Geoff and Jack took this time to walk into Achievement City, Geoff catching sight of them and walking over.
He looked at the four carefully, arms crossed and eyebrows narrowed. Jack stood just behind him in a similar position, only with an amused look on his face.
The Lads tried to look natural under Geoff’s eye, Ryan just shrugging it off since he hadn’t done anything.
Geoff scratched at the stubble on his chin, before pointing at Ray, then Gavin.” You and you.” He said, and the too looked taken back and a bit confused.
"You destroyed my Altar."
"What?!" Gavin shouted, shooting up into a sitting position.
"How the hell-?" Ray started.
"There’s no snow anywhere’s to be seen, and I’m missing a stack of 40 Creeper eggs, dumb asses!" Geoff shouted, yanking the too off the ground.
"Who even cares?! We fixed your bloody Altar and you can get more eggs!"
"You still did exactly what I always tell you not to do! You fuck with stuff you’re not supposed to fuck with. Now you get to learn your fucking lesson. Jack."
Jack turned away, giving the two boys a sympathetic shrug, before going into Ray’s house, and then Gavin’s, before returning.
"What did he just do?" Ray asked.
"New form of punishment. He just destroyed your beds."
The two Lad’s eyes widened, backing up from Geoff a little.
"No, Geoff, don’t!" Ray screamed, turning to run, but finding Jack in his way.
"Geoff! Geoffrey, don’t do this!"
"Happy trekking." Geoff said, before sending a enchanted diamond sword through the both of them.
"Geoff!" Michael shouted. "There’s no way they can find their way back!"
"They can spend a day or two out in the wilderness. If they don’t return by tomorrow night I’ll go find them." Geoff shrugged, his eyes glowing for a moment, before a map appeared in his hands.
"Where are they?" Ryan asked, a weird sort of smile on his face appearing.
"Other side of the fucking continent." Geoff laughed, Ryan and Jack joining in. "Ray’s all the way up by the Obsidi-N, and Gav’s in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere’s!"
"You guys are all fucking insane." Michael told them, shaking his head in disbelief before returning to his house to get some supplies. "I’m gonna go search for them!"
"Good luck!" Ryan called after him, watching Gavin’s dot start going in the opposite direction.
