Archive of Our Own ^beta

There was a swing.

A lone swing that was supported by the branch of a lone tree standing idly on a lone hill.

It was a curious sight to see.

A sight that caught the interest of Atsushi Nakajima.

While Akutagawa talked on his cell phone to report about their finished investigation of the house downhill, Atsushi went ahead to the tree to inspect the swing.

He inspected the plank of wood and pulled on the ropes that supported the swing to see if it can still hold a person. Surprisingly, it felt sturdy regardless of age. He briefly contemplated if he should do this or not.

He went and decided to do it anyway.

Slowly, he gently propped himself on the swing. His breath hitched as the swing swayed a little when it tried to support his weight. Subconsciously, he gripped onto the ropes supporting the swing tighter.

“So, this is how it feels like to sit on this.” Atsushi mused in his thoughts as he planted his feet firmly on the ground to stop the swaying motion.

He closed his eyes and tried to remember those days back in the orphanage. Where he saw through that tiny window in the basement, the other kids, that took turns on a swing much like this. He saw the way their legs would swing back and forth as the said swing itself would swing in the same motion as they would.

Slowly, he opened his eyes and tried copying the movement. He put his knees and legs together, pulled them inwardly and then stretched them outwards. Using his feet, he propelled himself off the ground much like how the other kids did it in his memory.

He gasped when his center of gravity shifted. But that didn't stop him. He held onto the ropes more firmly with newfound determination and continued to make the same movement.

Then, he found himself looking up at the orange-colored sky, that was signalling the day ending. Each time he added more power to his legs, he felt that he could almost reach the sky. He laughed as he kept swaying back and forth.

Now, he knew why the other kids often fought over this. The sheer thrill of the shifting gravity, the anticipation of falling backwards on the swing when he reach the highest peak up and the speed of falling backwards, was a whole new experience.

Sadly, though, he needed to stop.

He felt the rope beginning to unravel so he immediately used his feet and dragged them into the soil to stop the speedy ride.

It wasn't that sturdy after all. He was just lucky that he wasn't that heavy to begin with.

A cough from a few feet away caught his attention.

"Are you done?" Akutagawa looked at him, his shoulders hunched as his hand went to cover his mouth for his cough.

He really needed to buy cough drops for his partner. Atsushi noted as he stood up from the swing and walked towards Akutagawa with a curious gaze.

"What about you, are you done with your call?" He lightly teased Akutagawa as he redirected the question back at him.

After a year of being partners with Akutagawa, he had somewhat gotten comfortable enough to tease him. In turn, Akutagawa had mellowed down enough to not try to strangle him most of the time.

They would have a few decent conversations during missions, mostly leading to odd banter between them. He liked to think this is one of them.

"Why else would I be here waiting for you?" Akutagawa scoffed and frowned at him.

"Why did you wait for me?" Again, he redirected the question back at Akutagawa.

Akutagawa rolled his eyes and lightly coughed again into his palm. "We can keep answering each other with more questions, man-tiger. But that would never get us anywhere."

"Yet, you never answered my question."

"Neither have you."

A silence stretched over them as they continued to walk back to the house where their supposed finished mission took place.

Atsushi contemplated on their conversation. He knew full well what Akutagawa meant, and that's why he decided to indulge Akutagawa's quiry.

"It was my first time to use that." Atsushi spoke finally cutting the silence.

He looked back at the direction on where the tree is, its shadow looming over as the sun sets. Akutagawa continued to gaze at him. His interest piqued.

"Back at the orphanage, I wasn't allowed to go outside." He paused as the memory of the orphanage still makes his heart ache. He recalled the few places that the headmaster chained him up. The basement was one of them.

"I was often locked in a basement." He voiced out his train of thought. He doesn’t miss the way Akutagawa's eyes widened for a bit at this information but Akutagawa quickly blinked his eyes to revert it back to normal.

"The basement had a small window. It had a view of the tiny playground with the swing just like the tree back there.” He compared the swings with a solemn look before continuing on. “So, I often took a peek when I heard laughter from outside and I always saw the other kids just have fun with it. I mean, every time a kid would ride it, they would have the biggest smile on their faces. The wind would pick them up too, guiding them upwards and downwards, and their laughter continued to echo through my ears.”

He released a sigh that he'd been holding when he started to tell his story.

"I was.. just always curious why an odd wooden thing would bring so much joy to those kids. And now I finally get it." He laughed harshly as he felt his eyes sting a little.

Blinking away the tears that want to fall, he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. He knew that the past should just remain there but the memories of being locked up, the longing to go outside and be a normal kid... still ached.

It was a childhood that he never got.

He still doesn't know why he was robbed of it. A part of the reason was likely because of his ability. But why didn't the headmaster just tell him? Nor even try to help him control it instead of making him go through hell? Was it really because of what Dazai-san had said and that it was to prepare him in the present?

To make him strong?

Atsushi shook his head to drive these thoughts and questions that won't have an answer away, as the one who held it was already dead.

As if on cue, Akutagawa coughed again to gain his attention.

"If you must, then do so on a more stable swing unlike that one."

Atsushi blinked dumbfoundedly at Akutagawa. "Huh?"

"There are many playgrounds in Yokohoma, Man-tiger, with better constructed swings to accommodate the winds. You were lucky that the winds today were not as harsh as it could be or you could have fallen off and cracked your skull.. for all I care."

Atsushi observed that Akutagawa just added that last bit as an afterthought.

He stared at his partner for a long time until Akutagawa looked at him with his arms crossed and said "What?"

Then, his body began to shake, his shoulders started to relax and the tension quickly disseminated as he let out a breathy laugh.

The tears that formed in his eyes were not from despair but from joyous relief. He wiped them out with the back of the sleeves on his arms as he tried to calm down after laughing for seemed like an eternity.

Akutagawa looked displeased at him as if he had said something wrong.

Atsushi raised his hand signalling Akutagawa to wait for him to catch his breath. He heaved and tried to catch some air to his lungs as he slowly stopped laughing.

"Y-You're right." He finally answered.

Akutagawa uncrossed his arms and laid them to the sides of his body as he waited for the man-tiger to explain himself.

"Although, it would still be weird for a grown man like myself to use the swings in a children's playground." He averted his eyes to the side as he reflected on the possibility.

"That never stopped you from swinging all over on the decaying one earlier."

"Ah? No one else was the-"

"I was there."

"You were busy on the phone!"

"Man-tiger."

"Ugh. Alright. You have a point." Akutagawa's lips were slightly turning upwards to form a smirk.

"But I'll do it at night!" The smirk fell back into a frown when Atsushi followed up with that statement.

"You are not going to-"

"I'll be careful! I just don't want to do it when other people are around. It would be embarrassing!"

Akutagawa huffed as he can't argue that it would look a bit shameful for someone's Atsushi's age to play in the swings.

"Well.. you could always watch out for me?" Atsushi said as an afterthought. He didn't know why he said so but Akutagawa did watch him earlier and waited for him to finish, right?

The dark sky loomed over their heads. Thankfully, the lights from outside of the house and the brightly lit-stars were giving them some light to be able to traverse through the darkness back to the front of the house.

"I have other things to do, man-tiger." Akutagawa averted his eyes as they continue to walk to the house.

"I was kidding." Atsushi couldn't help the disappointment in his voice. (He also wondered why he was disappointed as seeing as this is Akutagawa that he is talking to, but he puts that into the back of his mind.)

They arrived back at the front of the house where the taxi will be picking them up. While they waited, they sat at the wooden white stairs of the platform that the house was built on.

Akutagawa checked his phone for a moment before pocketing it back inside his coat. The night continued on and the sounds of crickets chirping were all around them. The gentle summer wind passed by as it tickled their faces and swaying their hair from side to side.

"Friday night." Akutagawa finally spoke with a clear voice that it had cut through the sounds.

"Huh?"

Atsushi looked up from the ground that he was staring at and turned toward Akutagawa with a bewildered expression.

"I am free by then."

He blinked as he registered what his partner was saying before he chuckled and smiled sincerely at Akutagawa.

"I'll take note of that." Atsushi answered back. It wasn’t a promise to meet but he knew when Akutagawa mentioned his schedule it was already an agreement.

Akutagawa coughed again in acknowledgement to what Atsushi had said.(But maybe it was to hide that little curving up of Akutagawa's lips when Atsushi smiled at him.)

A comfortable silence followed right after.

They both looked up at the sky filled with shining stars. It would be a little while until their taxi will come to pick them up as this was only a little farther down Yokohama's outskirts.

"You know.. There are other swings in the playground. Maybe you can sit on one and swing with me?" Atsushi hummed in thought.

"No."

"It will be fun!"

"I said, no. Now, shut up. Man-Tiger."

"Akutagawa..."

"Man-tiger."

For the second time that day, Atsushi laughed. Akutagawa's lowered voice and serious expression made it difficult for him to stifle his laughter. He even missed the way Akutagawa leaned over as if he was trying to hear more of the pleasant sound that came from him.

His laughter echoed through the dark night and empty grassy fields. It even reached the lone hill that stood a lone tree.

The same tree that had the lone swing. The light winds pushed the swing to rock it back and forth.

Back and forth.

Much like how Atsushi did, a few days later, on a Friday night, when he rode on the swings, inside a small park back in the city, with Akutagawa in tow.