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It was all over the news and the net. Every announcer and co-star made a point to congratulate Arashi’s leader on getting his boating license. All the interviews they had since the news had gone live via their TV show, had added Ohno’s recent achievement to their introductory blurb. The well-wishes and good-humoured teasing put Satoshi in a perpetual happy mood. He was chattier during recordings, full of motivation at long running meetings and eager to meet any task with one hundred percent effort.
Nino was happy for him too. It was kind of fun watching how other people handled Ohno when the man was at his most loose and outgoing. It reminded him of their younger days, working together to put together Ohmiya SK skits that were mostly just to amuse themselves. Ohno was always the most fun, when he had the freedom to do what he wanted, and a friend to take along for the ride.
This new level of cheerfulness though, sustained by the constant reminder that he had done something he genuinely thought he couldn’t, it squeezed at Ninomiya heart. This was how Satoshi should always be, he thought. This bright eyed, gently smiling man deserved to be filled with joy, always. With more aptitude and perseverance than anyone Nino had met before or since, Ohno carved out a place for himself in an industry where he never really felt he belonged, and Nino knew that took its toll. Ohno hadn’t been dissatisfied by it, he found his way to fit, after all, but that little nook hadn’t given him much room to open up.
Now, Arashi’s leader was flourishing like a flower that had been too long without sun. Nino loved it. It kept him on his toes; responding to the seemingly disjointed comments from Ohno because he didn’t filter himself at all when he was happy. He would play along with the farfetched situations that Nino bestowed upon them, rather than respond with the normal faked confused disbelief of hosts and other TV talents, and the days were less predictable for it.
The worst thing was knowing that it wouldn’t last forever though. All too soon, it would be old news, the topic would move on, and the praise Ohno received would again be reduced to stilted platitudes of his talent, that failed to acknowledge all the hard work Satoshi put into those skills. Ohno would grow less comfortable in the limelight, feel undeserving of it again, and duck away from the TV spotlight automatically.
When Ohno sent a message, inviting the whole group for a private trip on a boat he planned to hire, some part of Nino knew that Ohno was trying to hold onto that last flush of success. It had been a month since he had gotten his licence by then, and Ohno was sometimes beginning to look sleepy on set.
The replies came quickly; none of them at work at the late hour Ohno had chosen to summon them. J, already having drinks with some friends, said he’d duck out early and meet Ohno at the harbour. Masaki promised to leave his house right way and drive straight down and Sho-chan offered to pick Satoshi up and head there together.
Nino stared at the string of messages that began lighting up his phone. He let the various conversations and arrangements be made without his input or comments and tried not to feel bitter about his own frailties. He wondered if this night would end up being one of those stories that got told on talk-shows. That time Ohno took them all for a ride on a boat. Everyone except Nino.
He wished he could go; wished that it wouldn’t cause trouble for them all if he did. He wanted to be there to laugh and joke and bask in the atmosphere of his dearest friends. Friends who he could be completely unguarded with, and who would be enjoying rare hours of real privacy. Under other circumstances he might have grumbled about it. He would have taken to the group chat and complained about being unable to go: calling them selfish for going somewhere he couldn’t follow with an exaggerated pout.
Tonight, he didn’t dare.
Even in jest, he worried that Ohno might see through him. He desperately didn’t want his leader to feel bad about wanting to recapture that moment of elation when he got behind the wheel of the boat. He didn’t want Ohno to think he couldn’t share it with the other members. Nino was fond of that moment too; he had watched the VTRs of Satoshi’s boating special more than once back in the privacy of his apartment. There was just something so charming and addictive about Ohno’s delight. Nino would not risk tainting that.
His phone pinged, to let him know he had been tagged directly in one of the messages. It was just the tag and a question mark from Aiba.
“Have fun!” He tapped out and added a sticker of a salute for flair, then turned off his phone.
He didn’t want to have to sit there and insist it was fine if the others tried to cajole him into going. Or worse, pretend it didn’t bother him if they didn’t. In their line of work, when so much of what they did was the same, having solo work, or things only one of them could do was sometimes a welcome break. The fact that is was something that only he couldn’t be a part of was painful in its way. Being physically left behind felt like being mentally a step out from the rest of them.
Nino curled up on his sofa trying to shake the maudlin thoughts from his head. The other four might come into work tomorrow with a few new inside jokes that Nino couldn’t be a part of, but he knew they’d never exclude him on purpose. Masaki would attempt to over explain everything that happened to him anyway. Sakurai would have half a dozen awfully lit pictures and a shoddy video on his phone to share. Ohno, being himself, might not mention anything at all, and Jun will have forgotten everything in the morning. Arashi would go on making memories as five people, or in pairs or trios the way he preferred.
He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he know, the buzz of his intercom was ringing distantly in his ears. He didn’t know what time it was as he stumbled to his feet; his phone still lifeless on the arm on the chair. It was dark outside, though, and only someone with the code would be able to buzz through outside of normal business hours.
“Just a minute…” He pressed the button for the camera, to see who was calling on him, but in his sleep addled state, he unlocked the door at the same time.
“Thanks Kazu~” At the sound of Aiba’s cheerful voice, and the sight of the back of his head in the camera, Nino rolled his eyes fondly. It wasn’t just his lanky childhood buddy that had come uninvited though, everyone else had turned up as his door.
“What are you guys doing here? I thought you were going night sailing?” His words of complaint weren’t very effective, given that he was half grinning through them. The four grown men crowding his doorway, trying to devest themselves of shoes without falling over each other was a pretty funny sight. It wasn’t helped by the fact that Jun was wearing some heavy, complicatedly laced up boots, and was clearly four sheets to the wind.
Ohno, originally only in his sandals anyway, padded over in his bare feet to throw an arm around Nino’s shoulders. “We did. That was hours ago.”
Laughing, Sho was practically holding Jun in his lap while Aiba helped with the boots. “We’ve been sending you messages the whole time.”
“I switched it off.” Nino shifted, bracing Ohno’s weight better automatically.
“That’s awful.” Jun, glasses falling down his nose as he finally pulled off his boot, took his time to speak. He was obviously trying to sound sober, but only able to string broken fragments together. “We’re friends, right? Answer them. Your messages.”
Aiba poked the drunken Idol in the ribs. “We’re right here, Matsujun. There’s no point in him replying now.”
“Tch. Fine.”
Ninomiya ignored them both for the moment, looking to Sho or even Satoshi for a more coherent explanation of their arrival.
Sakurai obliged. “As you can see, Matsumoto-san is in no condition to make his own way home tonight, and Aiba-chan forgot that he’d driven to the harbour and started drinking with him. So they both need somewhere to crash.”
“And you thought here was a good idea, why exactly?”
Ohno ducked his head in a gesture of apology. “That was my idea. As a designated driver-”
“You don’t drive.”
“And Captain of the vessel,” He continued, utterly ignoring Nino’s interjection. “I have a responsibility to my passengers to ensure their safe return home. Sho-chan can’t drive us all home, he might fall asleep at the wheel by the time he is going home himself.”
Nino, fully prepared to take in his friends for the night, was now just arguing for the sake of it, having fun with the drama Satoshi was injecting to the situation. “Why here?”
“Because your apartment it closer to the harbour than any of ours. In the morning, Jun can get a cab back to his car in the city, Sho-chan can drive Aiba to his, and give me a lift to work from here. It’s a good idea.”
Aiba cheered encouragingly. “It’s a great idea Captain. C’mon Jun-kun, I’ll show you where Nino hides the good blankets, and help you get sorted.”
“Need the toilet first.”
“I’m not helping with that.”
Ninomiya sighed, he was going to put up more of a fight, but it really wasn’t as much fun when his opponents weren’t in possession of all of their faculties. Aiba was already at a disadvantage normally, he thought with smirk. He ignored Sho, who was still waiting for Nino’s explicit approval before making himself at home, in contrast to their leader who had wandered to the fridge and helped himself to a can of beer. “What do you think you are doing? I thought you were the designated driver?”
“Not once we made landfall.” He sauntered to the couch, opening the can and taking a long, satisfying pull of the cheap beer.
“But you just-” He snapped him mouth shut. “You might as well stay Sho-chan.” He conceded at last. “Since everyone else has decided to use my place as a crash pad.”
Sakurai nodded his thanks. “Then, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to make sure those two aren’t drowning in the toilet and go to bed. It’s been a long night. Fun though.”
“There should be enough bedding in the spare room, but there’s another futon in the bottom of my closet if you need it.” Nino called helpfully down the hall as Sakurai made his way in that direction.
Aiba’s voice reached the living-room. “Ah, that’s where he hides the good blankets. Lucky!”
Nino huffed quietly. “Idiot.” He breathed, to no one in particular.
“It’s not just that.”
He jumped, Ohno speaking without preamble could always do that to him. “Eh? What are you talking about now?”
“It’s not just that you’re closer. We missed you tonight.” He shrugged, unembarrassed by the confession.
“Oh-chan…”
“I know that it’s hard for you to get on the water. I always think it’s so cruel when they make you do it for work. That’s why I decided I wouldn’t make you come sailing with us. In the end though, I want to enjoy it with my friends.”
“I didn’t try to stop you, did I? You should have fun with your friends.”
“You turned off your phone.” He contended with a whine. “We wanted you with us and we got nothing but radio silence.”
“Is this whole conversation going to be made up of nautical metaphors and similes?” Nino deadpanned.
“Yes.” Satoshi rearranged himself on the sofa, getting comfortable in a way that Nino knew meant the man would be falling asleep on the cushions tonight. “You’re my Lighthouse.”
“What?”
“Whenever I’m starting to get lost in this business, or at risk of doing something reckless, it’s always you who shows me the way. Even when we were Juniors, and I was still in Kyoto, if I didn’t have you to talk with on the phone, I don’t think I would have kept working. It’s like, since I met you, you’ve been lighting the safest way for me.”
Nino swallowed. “Are you-? Are you sure that that’s your first drink tonight Satoshi?” This was not how their normal teasing discussions went. They had serious conversations about feelings before, but only regarding work, or other people. They’d never talked like this about one another.
Then Ohno chuckled through his nose, a self-conscious half smile at he corners of his lips. “Don’t turn off, OK?” He shrugged, his voice shifting abruptly to a gruffer timbre, but the tone of his words still sentimental. “If you’re bothered by something I’m doing, or something I’ve said. I’m not very good at seeing that stuff, so I need you to show me. I’m sorry.” His eyes drifted closed. Having said his piece, he didn’t seem to want to know if Kazunari agreed.
Or maybe he just didn’t want to hear it if Nino refused.
Ninomiya didn’t let him fall asleep in ignorance though. He reached out to stroke a hand reassuringly through Ohno’s sea-salt stiff hair, crunching the strands in his hand affectionately. “I’ll leave my phone on next time.” He promised. “And you can stay here whenever you want to go out on the water.”
He draped a throw blanket over the older man and turned off the lights, following the sounds of familiar snoring down the hall and veering into his own room to bed. He powered up his smartphone as he closed his eyes.