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Izuku grimaced in the dark, eyes still shut tight, trying to convince himself he hadn’t actually just heard someone knocking at his door.
The knocking sound repeated itself, however, and the freckled boy whined, kicking the blanket off of him and getting up to open the door in the only possible way that someone who just got woken up at 2 a.m. can: gracelessly groping in the dark.
Even though not without some difficulty, he eventually managed to open the door, only to find himself face to face with nothing less than Bakugou Katsuki, looking particularly annoyed for having waited that long in front of his room. Midoriya made a small, squeaky sound, not expecting that at all- not that he knew who he was expecting to visit him at that time of the night anyway.
“Kacchan!”.
“Shh, do you want Eraserhead to come kick our ass?”, admonished the blond boy, pushing him back with his hand just enough to make his way into the room, turning the light on before closing the door behind his back.
Izuku looked at him in disbelief, still a bit numb from having just woken up, as Katsuki went to sit on his bed. The red eyed boy waited for a bit in silence and, after seeing Midoriya seemed to have all intentions to stand in the middle of the room, he huffed in annoyance, his little bit of patience gone, leaning forward to grab his arm. “Do I have to do everything by myself?”, he complained. Izuku squeaked but didn’t resist at all, letting the other pull him on the bed to sit next to him: “Uh...Kacchan what are you doing ...here? ”, he finally got himself to ask, giving him an inquiring gaze with his big, wide eyes. Katsuki had always found it difficult to decide how to react when Izuku gave him that kind of confused looks: it used to make him mad and want to punch him in the face but lately he’d found it gave him some strangely warm and fuzzy feeling that he didn’t particularly mind dealing with.
“I’m trying to bond with you, fucker, whether you like it or not.”, finally spit out Bakugou, looking away from him as he said so.
Midoriya, though, didn’t seem to understand any better: “What does bursting into my room in the middle of night have to do with bonding?”, he asked, a bit exasperated, both because of his sleepiness and Bakugou’s cryptic talk.
“Y’know, sleepovers and stuff? That shitty things people close to each other do?”, he impatiently explained, looking terribly annoyed with having to spend any more words on that.
“Oh. I, uhm. I still don’t get it, Kacchan. I mean, we’re working on it, right? With trying to get along and make our relationship better. Why did you come up with this all of sudden?”.
“Because we ain’t getting anywhere with just training together, you shithead. And all the while you seem to work just fine with shiny-man and that icy-hot bastard. Pisses me off.”
Now Izuku was observant enough that he would have understood something was off with Bakugou even if he hadn’t known him since childhood. He voiced his thoughts: “Kacchan, did something happen in particular? You look distraught. It’s not like you, doing...”, Midoriya gestured trying to express the concept of irrupting inside someone’s room in the middle of the night, “all this.”
“’s nothing. I’m just trying to fix our shitty cooperation, since you’re not caring for it”.
Now that surely rubbed the freckled boy the wrong way because he gave Bakugou an incredulous, offended glare: “Do you really think I don’t care, Kacchan? I’ve been trying just as hard as you, you know? I don’t know why are you coming here just to put the whole blame on me!”, he replied, his voice hurt and suddenly cold.
That was it for Bakugou: “Bullshit. Don’t say that while you spend your free time being all loveydovey with icy-hot and four-eyes instead of focusing on our improvement. And don’t think I don’t know you lose your time with shiny-dumbass, too. Eating fucking cheese, off all things.”
Izuku listened at him, his eyes full of disbelief; he had been ready for an argument before hearing those words but now? How could he stay angry, after having finally understood what his childhood friend’s problem was? The only issue was how to deal with it; he needed to be careful and use delicacy. Yes, that was the correct word, as much as it sounded wrong associating it with Bakugou. But Izuku knew he’d have to treat him as he would have treated an overly sensitive person; the only difference was that Bakugou would shout at him instead of crying, if he fucked things up.
How do I deal with someone who feels put aside and is asking to spend our free time together but is too prideful to admit it?
He took a deep breath before starting to speak: “Kacchan, I am truly sorry if you felt like I didn’t care enough. It was partly my fault and I want to make things better. I get your point, I think that doing things together outside of hero training may be good for us, after all. It was silly of me not to think about it. And just so you know: you’re not less important than Iida-kun, Todoroki-kun and Aoyama-kun. I do care about you.”
Katsuki looked at him; he was breathing loudly, had been since Midoriya had started talking, probably in order to keep himself calm. Izuku appreciated his attempts at self control. “Seems like you finally got some sense into your shitty nerd head. So are we going to get shit done?”
“I guess so? We- we’re going to manage this,” he said, before asking: “Uhm...so? What are we doing now?”
“Dunno. What do losers usually do at fucking sleepovers?”
“Sleep?”
“Wow, so creative,” he commented sarcastically.
“Do you have any better ideas?”
“Whatever, let’s sleep, then. I’m hella tired”, said Bakugou before gracelessly letting his weight down on the mattress- Izuku’s mattress- making it creak just slightly. Izuku sighed in amusement before laying at the blond’s side, yawning. He desperately needed some sleep too.
Bakugou grabbed the edge of the All Might blanket to toss it over them, adjusting himself more comfortably.
“Goodnight Kacchan,” he said, smiling with satisfaction.
Katsuki tch’ed at him, faking disinterest.
“ Night, fucker, sweet dreams and all that shit,” he replied, stretching to turn the light off, and Izuku nuzzled against his pillow to hide a larger grin. Swearing aside, Kacchan had surely improved from how he was when first coming to UA. It comforted him, the thought that they could grow up together; even if it took them a lot of effort, he knew the result was worth it.
Bakugou felt a weight in his chest, the kind of suffocating, haunting one. He felt like he couldn’t breath, like he couldn’t live anymore. It was going to overcome him, like the darkness surrounding him and-
Katsuki woke up, the first light of day uncomfortably longing on his face. Midoriya’s head was resting over his chest, his right leg enveloping him. It was easy to notice the other’s smell like this; not that it was entirely bad. It was just the kind of smell someone can have after sleeping, the nice scent of last night’s shower dulled by a bit of sweat. Bakugou knew the other had kind of a tendency to sweat profusely and he could bear with it. He moved the boy’s face away from himself as carefully as he could,in order to sit up, earning a sleepy groan as response.
Now that the other’s warmth was not on him anymore, he noticed the unpleasant wetness over his chest and grimaced, looking at the darker stain on the white fabric: “Jeez, you actually drooled on my shirt. You gross-”
“Showwy,” apologized the freckled boy with muffled words, still half asleep, face nuzzling against the bed to shield his eyes from the sun rays filtering through the curtain. Bakugou looked at him: with his disheveled hair and the All Might pajama on, his appearance looked absolutely unflattering. He noticed a bit of dried drool on the side of his mouth, too.
“Get a hold of yourself, you look so uncool right now, you slobbery nerd.”
Izuku rubbed his eyes, yawning before lazily sitting up, scratching his own belly. When he finally got awake enough to focus his look on Katsuki he replied: “It’s not like you look cool either right after waking up...”
“Aah? What do you mean I’m not looking cool?” he said, faking indignation, leaning over the other’s space in some kind of playfully threatening attitude.
Izuku’s limbs automatically went tensed, ready to react.
“I- uhm...” he stuttered, suddenly feeling a bit powerless; not in the uncomfortable way he did back in middle school but, still, it didn’t leave him unaffected. All of his body was ready to protect itself from an enemy. Bakugou noticed Deku’s discomfort and frowned, studying the other’s face; what now? It didn’t take him a lot of time to understand; he knew what was happening all too well. Izuku was looking at him as if he was actually being threatened. Just like he did before they’d agreed to change things between them. Katsuki backed up from him just enough to see the tension in the other’s body ease.
“Oi. What’s wrong, Deku?” he asked, trying to keep his voice somehow reassuring. He was not good at it, because it came out husky and low. Well, nailed it, he still had time to learn.
The curly boy sighed, shacking the odd feeling away and pulling out a weak and unconvincing smile: “Nothing, really, I’m. I’m fine.”
Bakugou lifted one brow, giving him a ‘not taking your bullshit look’: “Didn’t we agree that you wouldn’t hide things from me anymore? How the hell am I supposed to help you?”, he reminded, trying to keep being patient. Self control. He could do that.
Deku didn’t answer and Bakugou tried again: “You were ready to fight back. I felt that. I’m not stupid, you know? You were looking at me as if I was about to fucking hit you.”
Izuku knew this was the beginning of something unpleasant and still he didn’t know how he was supposed to deal with it. Katsuki was waiting for him to speak; he took a deep breath before finally answering: “I- I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I guess it was some kind of unconditional reflex. It wasn’t what I was actually wanting to do. I’m sorry, Kacchan.”
That hit him hard. He knew, he’d already expected things to be difficult but, somehow, realizing that he couldn’t lean on Deku’s personal space without provoking a self-defense reaction made him feel something unpleasant in his stomach. They’d slept in the same bed as a couple of old trusted friends but Izuku was still so far away from him. No matter how much Deku did smile to him, the freckled boy saw him as a threat. Someone he who could try to hurt him anytime. Someone who couldn’t be trusted. He felt like crying, and tears may have been pooling in his eyes, menacing to fall down; he turned his head away, hiding behind a twitching grimace.
“Don’t apologize, idiot. ‘s not your fault if I did shit to you.” His voice was coming out cracked despite his efforts, and Katsuki knew Izuku had probably already realized he was crying. There was no point in hiding away, not anymore. He turned to face the smaller boy, feeling vulnerable and threatening at the same time. Izuku looked like he was going to break, too.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, his body shaking with some kind of savage desperation.
“I know,” exhaled Izuku with a faint cry. His green eyes were wet, too.
“I’m here to kick you to the top, you know that too, right?”
“Y-yes,” he barely managed to answer, sniffling, before launching himself forward to hug Katsuki and smash his face against his shoulder.
It was gross, hugging each other like that, Izuku’s face feeling wet and snotty over him. But that was ok. Katsuki found he wanted them to see each other when they were like this: uncool and ugly and broken. No hiding from each other anymore.
Izuku’s hands were clutching his shoulders tight, and it was nice. Feeling him strong, feeling he was not going to weakly abandon himself was reassuring. Katsuki did his best to return the hug with the same energy, even if he felt his arms weak and heavy.
“I guess now we both look fucking uncool, ah?” managed to say Bakugou, chin rested on Izuku’s shoulder. He could feel the faint fruity scent of his soap even better than before.
Such a loser…using the same things as when he was a child.
Izuku almost said ‘sorry about it’ but then remembered Katsuki would have probably disliked it and changed his mind.
“It’s not uncool at all, Kacchan. You’re , ah...actually pretty cool to me right now,” he said against his shoulder, his breath warming the fabric of the shirt.
If this was a Christmas movie, Katsuki would have probably felt his heart grow three sizes; instead, he just felt a mild discomfort in his chest, some kind of shiver going though his already weak limbs. Why did he feel so overcame? He tried to brush the entire thing away, grunting in apparent annoyance. But he was not letting go and Midoriya felt grateful to him.
Bakugou let Izuku hold him or, as he liked to say, ‘snot on him’ for a little longer. It was a Sunday morning and they could have just stayed in bed for some more hours.
After they’d both calmed down, however, Deku insisted they went running together to clear their minds out; Katsuki wasn’t going to say no- may he be damned if he did- and so they ended up training together early in the morning. It helped them chasing some of the negative feelings away and, by the time they got back to the dorm, they both felt better. It was just 9 a.m. and everyone was lazily hanging around, finishing homework or playing cards.
Kirishima approached Bakugou and Midoriya as soon as the two boys got inside the common room.
“There you are! We were all getting worried about the two of you! We almost thought you had gotten into trouble again.”
“We went out running for a bit...sorry for scaring you guys,” apologized Izuku.
“Tch, it’s not like you’re our parents, you losers. I’m not apologizing for anything.”
Deku sighed: “Don’t be so mean, Kacchan!”
“Nah, let him be, Midoriya, you know how he is. We’re used to his bad temper all too well. More importantly: why did you two go out so early? When I went to call Bakugou this morning and he didn’t answer me I-we all, actually- almost got an heart attack!” said Kirishima.
“Especially after we found out you weren’t in your room either!” added Iida.
Izuku didn’t know how to explain himself; he didn’t want to embarrass Kacchan by telling the whole story: it would have probably stung his pride too much. “Erm...you see...we...”
“We just wanted to run without you noisy bastards being around so we planned to meet early. That’s it. I don’t owe you any further explanation, shitheads!” intervened Bakugou, sending glares of warning around the room.
“Mmh, doesn’t sound convincing at all...” commented Kaminari.
“Now that you mention this, I may have heard someone entering in Midoriya’s room tonight...who knows...” replied Mineta, making a knowing expression.
The comments made Izuku’s face twitch nervously; Bakugou turned to give them both an irritated look and everyone psychologically prepared themselves to deal with one of his usual fits of anger.
“Everyone, please stop this.” All of the kids turned to look at Todoroki, who had spoken from his seat on the couch. “Midoriya obviously doesn’t look comfortable in this situation. Both him and Bakugou are fine so lets put this aside.”
“Todoroki-kun is right! Please leave them alone,” agreed Uraraka, worry over her face.
Aoyama, understanding they were in need of some distraction, brought Izuku some of his cheese snacks: “You still have to have breakfast, Midoriya-kun. Here, have some cheese ☆,” he said, handing him the food. Izuku gladly accepted it, smiling at his friend: “Thanks a lot, Aoyama-kun.” He was actually pretty hungry from having run with Kacchan: somehow they had pushed themselves a bit too much, he guessed.
“Hey, gimme one of those, shitty nerd,” demanded Katsuki, actually looking pretty docile for once. Everyone looked at them in disbelief as Izuku handed the red eyed boy one cheese snack.
“Did he manage to tame Bakugou? That sure is something,” whispered Mina in Kaminari’s ear, making him snicker. Both Iida and Todoroki were keeping an attentive check on the two boys, ready to intervene; they didn’t trust Bakugou’s ability to be a civil person, especially if Midoriya was involved. They had both resolved to have a talk with Izuku later, just to be sure he was actually as ok as he seemed to be.
For his part, Izuku felt happy. Finally having Katsuki with him felt nice; it was true they still had a lot of work to do on their relationship but they’d faced many hardships before. It wasn’t like they weren’t prepared for it. It was going to be fine. He felt positive. Bakugou seemed more serene too.
I promise, Kacchan, we’re getting to the top together.