Archive of Our Own ^beta

For the longest time, Jeongguk has the same dream. A large hand with long slender fingers wrapped around his much smaller one, leading him through the field of white…

The entire dream would be just them walking with nothing but the sound of howling wind. For many times, Jeongguk tried to look up—to see the person’s face—but his short perspective and the blizzard would always block his vision.

The dream always ends the same way it started.

Jeongguk stared at the light of the houses below the hill. The storm had long disappeared, leaving the sky clear with stars scattered in the night. Directly in front of him within that sea of stars was a full moon. When he felt the hold on his hand disappear, he would turn, but never see anyone. All he could see was the white snow blanketing the ground, revealing only a child’s set of footprints.

Jeongguk sat up, kicking the heavy quill off as the cool air of the apartment graced his heated skin. He glanced around his room, blinking sleepily before glancing to the window where white light was spilling in from the gap of his greyish curtains.

It was the start of yet another day. Another day just like any others.

He sat in the train like usual as he watched the scenery outside passed by. He stared at the scene he had watched so many times to the point where he memorized every houses and knows just how many people would get off and on at the next stop.

It was just like any other day.

The sky was grey with that blinding sun hovering in the distance.

People in black and white and a mixture greys walked about like they always do. Seeing his stop has arrived, Jeongguk got up and immediately someone took his place in the seat. He looked back at the businessman who was wearing black suit with black leather shoes and matching suitcase.

Jeongguk got off the train as people rushed to squeeze in. Without thinking much, he headed off, ready to begin another day of school.

And just like any other day, school was as usual.

Listening to class, doing homework…

During lunch, Jeongguk sat by the window, staring out at the grey sky that now has a deeper hue of grey than it did in the morning.

Some girl came over, asking if he wanted to join them for lunch.

He rejected, so the girl was sad and even a bit heartbroken.

As result, the girl’s friends got angry with him. It also led to him getting some rude remarks from a group of boys eavesdropping on their conversation. He could never understand why. They may be in the same class, but Jeongguk has never spoken to that girl before—or anyone for that matter. Whether or not he wants to accept was his business, so why did he have to be judged for it?

It’s always like this. If he doesn’t do what other people expects him to do, he would be labeled as rude, loner, loser…

Jeongguk stared at the white and black that’s his classmates before turning back to the sky. He eventually began to tune out the sound around him and just let his thought run free, hoping for time to pass by faster this way.

After a long day at school, he was back on the train, watching the scenery move in the opposite direction. The sky was darker now, yet the amount of people boarding the train didn’t change. Jeongguk even spotted that same businessman sitting opposite of him, reading a newspaper.

Everything was so mundane, but Jeongguk found that it fit this colourless world.

He closed his eyes as he thought back to the dream that haunts him every night. He could remember how warm that hand felt…and most importantly, the colour of the skin…it wasn’t white, black or grey. It was a colour Jeongguk didn’t know what to call. If he has to describe it, it would be the colour of warmth.

Jeongguk could never figure out why was it only his dream that he could see colours.

For as long as he can remember, he was colour-blind. He was born that way, yet why was it that he could see them in his dreams? Or perhaps he just wanted to see it so much that it appeared in his dream? After all, Jeongguk wouldn’t know if that’s how these colours are supposed to be like.

He was told what colour the night sky is.

He was told what colour the moon is.

He was told what colour the human skin is.

But did Jeongguk have the desire to see colours at all?

Jeongguk stared at the people cramped in the tiny space and decided—no, he didn’t need to see colours. There was no need for him to see. After all, what’s the point of being able to see colours? It’s not like being able to see will affect his life in any ways. He still has to repeat the same routine over and over, days after days, years after years…

It’s like being trapped in an endless cycle, never able to escape the thing called life.

When he finishes school and gets an actual job, Jeongguk would be just like that businessman. Nothing would change.

He closed his eyes. If only he could sleep forever and never have to wake up. While his dream is also on repeat just as his life, there was something different…like a weird longing that he would always feel whenever he remembered the feeling of that warm hand against his. It was a moment he never wanted to end, but alas the dream always cruelly ends with him left all alone.

Jeongguk walked into his apartment and changed out of his school uniforms. After that, he walked to the kitchen, taking out a cup noodle from the cover and microwaved a cup of hot water.

Sitting down in front of his computer, Jeongguk began flipping through random websites as he ate. When an image of that dream flashed through his mind again, Jeongguk paused, just for a brief second before he typed some words into the search bar.

Jeongguk stared at all the pictures of the winter scenery that appeared. He scrolled down, looking through every one of them that just endlessly keep popping out.

Finally, when he finished the last bit of noodle, he stopped.

He sighed, closing the webpage and tossed the empty plastic cup into the garbage beside him.

He didn’t know what exactly he was even hoping for.

Jeongguk looked at the time.

It was 8:36.

While it wasn’t late, he decided to go ahead and sleep anyways…it’s not like there’s anything to do.

The very next day when Jeongguk left his home, he was dumbfounded. He gazed up to the sky and watched as small white snowflakes fluttered down from the clouds. He had never seen snow in September before. Jeongguk reached out a gloved hand, catching one in his palm as he observed it closely. He could see the way the snow shimmered in the morning light, showing off the tiny crystals that formed the shape. Hearing sounds of car honking, Jeongguk snapped out as he leaned over the railing and saw his bus coming from the distance.

Swiftly brushing the snowflake away, Jeongguk hurried down to catch his bus.

He arrived at the train station just like any other time. Like always, the train he takes every morning was already there. Just when he was about to get on, he paused. Another snowflake drifted by his eyes. In that brief moment, it was as if time had slowed, allowing him to make out the vastly different form this snowflake has compared to the one before.

“Hey kid, you getting on?”

A voice suddenly called, breaking Jeongguk from his thought as he glanced back to find a line of people behind him. He stepped aside and watched as those people moved pass him to board the train.

Jeongguk waited for the last person to get on—about to follow when something stopped him once again. Jeongguk looked up as the snow suddenly gotten heavier. His eyes were in a daze as he stared at the sky, suddenly aware of the empty hole that’s always been inside him…like something’s always missing.

Jeongguk didn’t know how long he stood there for. Eventually, the platform became empty and the sun was long gone from the sky. The snow had built up over the day, now reaching a bit past his ankles.

Strangely, Jeangguk didn’t feel cold at all. He stared at the night sky…eyeing those white clouds just a bit longer before he finally moved. He didn’t go home. He walked around the platform and gave all of the money he had on him to the ticket booth. He was only able to afford the cheapest one way ticket, but that was enough. He boarded the train on the other side of the platform, onto the train that goes to the opposite direction of his school. The carriages are all empty except for him. He sat at the very back, gazing out the window as the train began to move.

He didn’t know how long he had ridden the train for. Eventually, he had fallen asleep, dreaming of that same dream again.

There were so many things he wanted to ask.

Who are you?

Where are we?

But most importantly, he wanted to know…why was he left alone?

Unfortunately, Jeongguk can never get any of those answers. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the warm beam of sunlight caressing his cheeks. He stood up—his muscles and joints sore from sitting all night. He glanced around the train that had stopped, then out the window to see the pure white scenery outside.

Jeongguk’s eyes widened as he dashed out of the train without a second thought. When he first stepped into the snow, he stumbled, not expecting his entire foot to sink in. When he looked up, he was stunned by the tall mountains surrounding him—one particular that he recognized.

Seoraksan.

He had arrived at the Gangwon Province.

Jeongguk had been here before. He remembered coming here on a family trip when he was young, though he barely has much memories of it anymore. Although he has no destination in mind, his body seemed to have an entirely different idea and was already moving on its own, heading straight for the mountains.

The road was long, but strangely Jeongguk didn’t feel any fatigue. He just kept walking and walking and when it was night time, he just dropped his bag on the ground, using it as a pillow to sleep before waking up and continuing forward. Eventually, buildings and manmade structures began to disappear as he goes deeper and deeper into the woods, higher and higher up the mountain.

Not once did Jeongguk realize he hadn’t eaten ever since he left his home. He just kept walking, eyes trained on the mountain as if something is there—calling out to him, or perhaps simply waiting for his arrival…

Jeongguk blinked his dazed eyes as he dragged his feet across the snow now reaching to his kneecaps. He moved like a robot with only one destiny in mind. However, when something cold and wet suddenly touched his cheek, he stopped.

“Hey there…don’t cry.” A voice suddenly echoed in his brain.

Cry?

He wasn’t crying. Jeongguk reached a hand up to his cheek to feel a tint of wetness, but that was just the snowflake that had melted against his skin.

“Are you lost?”

Jeongguk gazed up at the grey sky as another snowflake touched his skin, leaving a tingle of coldness. It was a weird sensation. The snow never felt cold before…

“Come on, I’ll take you home…”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen as the scenery before him changed into nothing but white with a familiar hand stretched out to him, palm open and waiting for him to take.

Jeongguk knew this hand. He had seen it too many times, for too many nights. He reached out, grabbing onto that hand only for a split second before that hand vanished from his grip.

Whiteness overtook his vision and by the time he came to, Jeongguk found himself staring into the horizon. The world below was covered in a layer of snow as he stood on the peak of the mountain with razor sharp wind howling around him.

Jeongguk frantically looked around, only to discover that he was still alone.

He stood on the top of the mountain, breathing heavily before a droplet suddenly fell into the snow…followed by another…then another.

This time, Jeongguk didn’t have to touch his cheek to know it wasn’t the snowflake. He fell onto his knees and curled into himself as he let out a painful wail.

It hurts…

He didn’t know why but it just hurts.

The emotion that he had kept bottled up for so long exploded.

“Come back…” He cried, reaching out despite knowing that no one is there to take his hand.

He now understood just what that weird feeling he always had was.

It was loneliness.

“Jeongguk? That’s a cute name! Can I call you Gukkie?” That deep, cheerful voice spoke inside his head, bringing more tears to Jeongguk’s eyes as the pain in his chest increased. 

“I’ll always be here.”

Liar.

“I’ll never leave you alone.”

Where are you?

“All you have to do is call out to me.”

Where are you…

“TAEHYUNG!” Jeongguk screamed off the top of his lungs, letting his voice be carried out into the wind before everything became silent.

The wind stopped roaring; the snowflakes were frozen in midair...

And then, a sharp crack reached Jeongguk’s ear. Jeongguk looked around, trying to find the source of the sound when another crack came, then another.

Feeling something like a tiny pebble dropping onto his head, Jeongguk looked up and gapped as he saw the sky above him cracking. Pieces of the grey sky crumbled down little by little, revealing the darkness lying underneath. The crackling sound grew louder and closer. When Jeongguk looked back down, he found that it wasn’t just the sky, but everywhere else around him is slowly shattering.

He tried to move away, but suddenly found himself immobilized—as if something was gripping onto him.

Then…the cracking stopped.

Jeongguk held his breathe as he glanced around the scenery that had disappeared, replaced by cracked and broken mirrors reflecting not only him, but another person.

A droplet of tear escaping his eyes as he stared at the pale arms wrapped tightly around him. A person sat behind him, wearing light blue robes with long legs stretched out on either side of his body. Jeongguk couldn’t see the person’s face, as all the broken mirrors cut off right over the person’s well-defined jawline, but he did see the long white tail, flipping back and forth behind the person before it came around to wrap around his waist.

The person in the mirror pulled Jeongguk back, and Jeongguk’s body moved—tugged by the force as one large hand was removed from his body and held out into the air. The person made a flicking motion, and as if struck by some invisible force, the fragile glass around them shattered.

“GUKKIE!”

Jeongguk gasped as his eyes snapped open to the night sky and the snow blowing harshly around him. He panted heavily as he took in the cold mountain air and almost gagged when he smelled the foul stench mixed within the air. Jeongguk’s immediate reaction was to crawl into the warmth behind him. Arms that he could definitely see and feel were wrapped tightly around him, pulling against the person’s solid chest. The loud wind howled against his ears as Jeongguk gripped onto the person like a lifeline. He recognized this warmth, he knows this feeling…it was all so familiar, yet Jeongguk couldn’t remember why.

When Jeongguk tilted his head back, his eyes rounded at the handsome face that is glaring at something behind him, his facial muscles tense with golden eyes shining brightly in the dimness of the night. The man could only be defined as handsome…ethereal…but when Jeongguk’s eyes shifted a bit higher, he was stupefied.

The man didn’t have normal human ears on the side of his head, but animal ones—like dog ears on the top.

“W-who…?” Jeongguk wasn’t able to finish his words when a loud crashing sound that practically shook the ground boomed behind him. Jeongguk looked over his shoulder and almost yelped at the sight of a huge monster, grotesque in every way crumbling onto the ground and shattering into pieces like glass. The monster was completely frozen over with frost covering its black fur.

Jeongguk didn’t know why, but he couldn’t feel the panic that should come. It was his first time seeing monsters like that in real life…

Wait…first time?

Jeongguk felt his mind went blank.

Was it really his first time?

No…it’s not his first time.

He knows that monster…he knows this man as well.

Jeongguk grunted as a spark of pain suddenly erupted from his head.

He could feel the person holding tightening his grip. He was saying something—or perhaps shouting? Jeongguk found that he couldn’t hear all that well for some reason. All he could do was stare at the flashes of image flipping inside his head.

It was fake…

It wasn’t real…

Everything up to now…it was all fake!

He wasn’t born colour-blind, he never was! He didn’t take trains for school; he doesn’t even go to one! He didn’t live in an apartment…

All of that was fake!

The Baku—that mutated spirit had trapped him in an endless loop of dream while feeding off his memories!

“Taehyung…oh god, Taehyung!” Jeongguk gasped out that name as he grabbed onto the man—no, not man—demon. 

How could he have forgotten about Taehyung?

Taehyung bit his lower lip, seemingly swallowed whatever he wanted to say as he held onto Jeongguk tightly and whispered, “let’s go home.”

Home.

Images of his colourless apartment flashed by Jeongguk’s mind before he shook them away. That’s not his home.

His home is…

Jeongguk closed his eyes as he remembered the passage down a dark and narrow cave until it opens up to a chamber deep at the heart of the mountain. The palace made completely of ice and snow—those crystal blue walls, the furniture carved from ice, the underground hot spring right below…

That’s their home.

Jeongguk remembered now. He thought back to the year that his family had taken him to the mountain during winter break. It was the same year that he had met Taehyung, as well as the year Jeongguk had died.

He remembered when he had gotten lost in the mountains and met Taehyung who looked no different than he was now. Dressed in those elegant, airy clothes and standing in the blizzard, yet despite the strong wind his hair and clothes didn’t flutter the slightest bit. He was so beautiful and perfect that Jeongguk didn’t see him as real, so he cried out thinking Taehyung was a ghost.

Jeongguk could still remember how Taehyung’s expression practically collapsed before he started laughing. With a snap of his finger, the wind was gone, leaving the snow to gently drift down from the sky.

“Hey there…don’t cry.” He had told him in the most awkward ways, obviously not used to dealing with kids. When Jeongguk didn’t stop crying, Taehyung had picked him up and held his tiny body in his arms, letting the child feel his warmth and know that he’s real. It was only then than Jeongguk stopped crying.

“Are you lost?” He asked once Jeongguk’s cries have been reduced into small sniffs.

Jeongguk nodded and kept mumbling about wanting his mom, dad and older brother.

“Come on, I’ll take you home…”

That was how Taehyung had brought him back…leaving him on the lonely hill for him to cross the rest of the way. Wanting nothing but his family, Jeongguk’s younger self didn’t even notice when Taehyung had disappeared as he ran for the houses and the people.

The moment Jeongguk was back to his family, the first thing Jeongguk did was to tell his parents about the weird man with doggy ears. Naturally, no one in his family believed him. He spent the entire night getting scolded by his parents for running off.

The very next day, his memory of Taehyung was already a blur.

It should have ended there.

Their lives should have parted ways there, but Jeongguk being stubborn idiot he is, tried to find his way back to the mountain. He wanted to prove to his parents that he wasn’t lying or hallucinating. That was the mistake that ultimately ended his life. He was only a child and didn’t realize the danger of the mountains. With the snow covering everything in sight, he didn’t even notice he was heading towards a cliff until it was too late.

When he opened his eyes again, he was in a place encased by ice with the man that had brought him home the other night standing by his side.

It was then that Jeongguk found out Taehyung wasn’t a human.

It was then that Jeongguk learnt that demons really do exist in this world.

It was also then that Jeongguk was told that he had died.

Of course, as a child, Jeongguk didn’t believe that. He cried for his family, he tried to run from Taehyung even though the other had been nothing but kind to him. He had called Taehyung all sorts of bad names and even threw a block of ice at his head…and Taehyung just quietly took it all.

It took a long time for Jeongguk to come to term with his own death, and even longer over the fact that his family will never see him again. The supernatural beings in Korea have strict laws on entering human civilizations. It was a rule was created long ago to maintain the balance between the two species. And Jeongguk—from the moment he woke up—was no longer considered human.

Taehyung had brought him back to life, but what Jeongguk didn’t know at the time was that even the strongest demon in the world couldn’t turn bring back the dead let alone turning them to demons without a severe price. There are only two ways for demons to come to this world—one by birth, the second from lower life forms such as animals and plants to gain self-awareness and train for thousands of years to become one.

However, there is a third method—one that no demon would ever use so it was eventually forgotten in time. That method is to split a demon’s heart in half and infused it into a lesser being. This will turn the other creature into a full-fledged demon sharing the same powers as the giver of the heart.

If one half dies, so will the other.

Jeongguk had no idea that in order to bring him back to life, Taehyung sacrificed his entire future. Ever since that day, their lives have been forever intertwined. He had been ungrateful and hated Taehyung for so long that every time he remembers he could feel pain prickle his heart.

He hated himself for everything he put Taehyung through. He still remembered the first time he actually started to look at Taehyung properly—not as some evil demon, but a person with a heart.

It was on his twentieth birthday that Taehyung had taken him into the human world. Jeongguk was given a chance to properly give his family one last farewell before he erased their memories along with everything with his existences. He didn’t want to burden them knowing they once had a son they will never see again.

Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the demon world. The moment they returned home, there were demon soldiers already waiting at their front door and without any explanations took Taehyung away.

Jeongguk remembered waiting anxiously for days. When Taehyung had returned, he was brought back by demons he had never met before. They weren’t soldiers, but were all dressed with the finest silk just like Taehyung, showing their status as royalties. They were carrying in a giant eight-tailed fox that was bathed in blood and wounds so deep that Jeongguk could see the white bones underneath.

Jeongguk didn’t need to ask to know that was Taehyung.

He had never seen Taehyung’s real form before, but he did know that Taehyung, as the ruler of the fox tribes, is a Nine-tailed fox—or at least, he was supposed to be one. Taehyung has always maintained his humanoid form in front of Jeongguk so he only has out one tail. That’s why Jeongguk noticed Taehyung only has eight tails with a tiny little stub that most likely belonged to the ninth, he felt like throwing up.

His eyes slowly landed on his own snow white tail that he hadn’t thought much until that moment. It looked exactly identical to Taehyung’s. He didn’t know how he could be so blinded to not realize that the tail he has all along wasn’t his, but Taehyung’s. Fox demon’s tails are precious as all of their powers reside in their tails. All fox demons’ ultimate goals are to train themselves to obtain the highest level of power—to gain nine tails.

Jeongguk knows the trainings are harsh. Taehyung had trained him personally—though Jeongguk always thought the fox demon did it out of spite, never for his own good. One tail takes a thousand years to form, but Taehyung was the first and only fox demon to be born with all nine. He was just that powerful. He had a promising future, yet because of him Taehyung had to cut off one of his tails.

It was from those demons—Taehyung’s friends—that Jeongguk finally learned all the truth he needed to know, along with what giving half of his heart and tail away meant for Taehyung. When Taehyung had found his body, his flesh and bones were completely crushed from the force of the fall. His body was mangled. Even with a demon’s heart, he can’t survive in an useable body, so Taehyung cut off one of his tail and attached it onto him, using his power to recover his body before putting his heart in him.

With the loss of his ninth tail, Taehyung’s power dropped significantly, but Taehyung had hid this fact from the rest of the world. He didn’t do it to protect his title and his position in the demon world, but to protect Jeongguk. Taehyung is powerful, and because of that many demons are watching him, waiting for the moment he shows any signs of weakness to tear him apart and take his spot. If Jeongguk’s existence is ever exposed, there’s no doubt that demons around the world will come after him in order to get to Taehyung. 

Because of his selfishness, Taehyung lost his future.

Because of his selfishness, Taehyung was punished in his place.

As an example to the rest of the demons who dared break the law, Taehyung was beaten half dead in the public eye by none other than the hands of Kim Namjoon—the ruler of the Korean demons as well as one of Taehyung’s best friends. As punishment, Taehyung has been forbidden to leave the mountain and gotten his powers sealed away for a hundred years.

Never has Jeongguk hated himself so much. He couldn’t forgive himself. He had always thought of demons as nothing but malicious—something that would be better off dead. However, when he looked at these demons tending to Taehyung while he just stood to the side unable to do anything, he realized it was him who is better off gone.

Even Namjoon, the one who had done this to Taehyung was better than him…so much better. The orders of their world must be upheld and as a ruler Namjoon couldn’t make any exceptions—even to his own friends. Perhaps it’s because Taehyung is his friend that Namjoon had to be stricter than usual, just so the rest of the demon world would deem it as fair. At one point, Taehyung had even woken up, cracking open a golden eye to look at his friends. When Namjoon walked into his sight and gently patted his long snout, Jeongguk could have sworn the fox smiled before falling back into a deep slumber.

That sight was forever burned into his memories, and it was then that Jeongguk knew how wrong he was of everything. Since that day, Jeongguk changed. He made a promise to himself that he will protect Taehyung...

And yet here he was, exactly a hundred years after that promise and he still hadn’t done anything to repay Taehyung.

“Tae—ah!” Jeongguk yelped when he was thrown onto the bed covered in a layer of thick white fur. And then familiar warmth was pressed down over his body—pinning him down onto the bed.   

Jeongguk wanted to say something, to explain, but when he gazed into those narrowed eyes meeting his, all of his words disappeared.

They stayed like that for a long, long time until Taehyung finally spoke.

“Don’t do that again.”

Jeongguk looked up hesitantly before he responded with a soft nod.

“I’m sorry…” Jeongguk mumbled. “I didn’t think…I thought I could handle it...”

“Did you?” Taehyung practically bit those words out as those golden eyes squinted into a glare. “Tell me the truth Gukkie, did you really think you could handle it?”

Jeongguk felt his words got stuck in his throat as he stared up at Taehyung, suddenly not knowing what to say. He automatically shifted his eyes to look away, scared of Taehyung seeing the lies in his eyes, but a hand grabbed him by his chin and jerked his face back.

“You should have felt the difference between you and that thing.” Taehyung growled as those eyes gleamed dangerously. “Was it so bad staying by my side? Was it so bad that you rather die than to stay with me?”

“W-what?” Jeongguk choked those words out, but Taehyung was already done. The fox demon closed his eyes, seeming to be thinking over something before he climbed off Jeongguk and headed for the door. “From today onward, you can go live with Jimin. I will send him a word, you should start packing your things.”

“Wait, Tae!” Jeongguk shouted as he scrambled off the bed and hastily reached out to grab onto Taehyung’s sleeve. The fox stopped in his path, but he didn’t turn around to face him. “What do you mean? Y-you’re…”

Jeongguk was almost afraid to finish the sentence. Was Taehyung kicking him out? Did he screw up that badly?

Jeongguk froze when he felt his heart skipped a beat and looked down to his chest.

Of course…of course he screwed up.

How could he have forgotten? It wasn’t his own life he was endangering, but Taehyung’s. Both of their lives are connected. If anything happens to his heart, then Taehyung will...

Jeongguk’s grip on Taehyung loosened at the realization. The moment he did, the silky fabric slipped out of his hand as Taehyung walked away, never once looking back as the door closed between them like a barrier.

Left alone in his room, Jeongguk slowly sank down onto the floor. He slowly placed a hand over his—no, Taehyung’s beating heart.

He just sat there in daze, for minutes—or perhaps hours until a single droplet of tear rolled down his cheek, followed by another, then another. As if the dam that had been holding up all this time finally crumbled, Jeongguk’s tears fall free for the first time in a hundred years.

He turned to bury his face into the white fur layered over his bed as he silently cried.

Taehyung has finally giving up on him.

Of course he is.

After how Jeongguk had brought him nothing but troubles, he can’t see why Taehyung would still want him. Even he would despise himself. Jeongguk started remembering all the things he had done to Taehyung in the past to finally that black and white dream the Baku had showed him. The live back in human civilization, it was something Jeongguk had always wanted, but now. He found himself scared of going there. He shivered in fear at the thought of leading that kind of life. He didn’t want a life without Taehyung. He didn’t dare to even think of leading that kind of life where he’ll never be able to feel the warmth of that hand patting his head or hearing that deep voice calling out his name.

Jeongguk couldn’t live with that.

It was at this moment that Jeongguk realized that he loves Taehyung. He really, really loves Taehyung. He wanted to protect him not because of guilt or to repay Taehyung, but because he loves him.

But…

Jeongguk smiled bitterly. It was too late. All of that means nothing now. He knew Taehyung had once loved him, but everything is over before it even started. He closed his eyes as he tried to breathe in as much of Taehyung’s scent that was still faintly lingering over the fur.

The images of the grey world kept popping back into his mind. A world without Taehyung…was that kind of world worth living in? Besides, he was nothing but a burden to Taehyung. Tonight was the perfect example.

Ever since Taehyung’s power was sealed, there have been regular unwelcomed visitors at the mountain. Demons are a cannibalistic species. They grow stronger by devouring one another to rise up in the hierarchy. As the strongest and ruler of the fox tribes, Taehyung’s flesh was undeniably something every demon would dream of tasting. There have been many attempts of attacks, but none of them succeeded in getting past the barrier around the mountain.

That is…until tonight.

Tonight marked the final night of the seal, and then Taehyung’s power will return to him. It was also tonight that a Baku had come. Bakus are powerful holy spirits—even if that Baku was mutated and contaminated by evil, it didn’t change the fact of what it was. So it easily slipped through the barrier and started trashing around the mountain trying to find Taehyung. Jeongguk knew it was only a matter of time before it makes it into the palace, and with Taehyung in the middle of regaining his strength, he was out cold.

At that time, there was no room or time to think. All Jeongguk could think of was that Taehyung’s in danger and he has to protect him. He hadn’t think of anything other than that...like what if he dies? Then Taehyung would be dragged down with him.

He messed up so bad…

“Tae…” Jeongguk mumbled into the fur, closing his eyes as more tears spilled from his eyes.

He strokes his hand over his chest, feeling the heart beating inside him before he slowly pulled his robes apart, revealing the pale skin underneath.

Jeongguk trembled as he ran his hand over his bare chest. It was weird, ever since he was turned into a fox demon; he never feel the cold anymore. But now, his fingers felt chilling—as if they weren’t his own.

He climbed onto the bed and rolled onto his side. He kept stroking the smooth skin of his chest, going lower and lowers until he reached the soft area where the flesh easily sank in, unobstructed by his ribcage.

With a deep breath, Jeongguk jabbed his hand into his body. A quavering breath left his lips as he felt burning fluid wrapped around his hand. He gritted his teeth, enduring the pain as blood dripped out of the corner of his mouth. He sharply inhaled the cold air as he dug his hand deeper into his own body until his flesh was wrapped around his wrist and his hand gently stroking the heart beating strongly inside him.

No matter how gentle his was, every touch hurts. Jeongguk was choking on his own blood as he struggled to breathe. The process of removing his heart was painfully slow. Jeongguk had to be careful. He can’t risk harming Taehyung’s heart. This is Taehyung’s life. As long as the heart is safe, Taehyung will be safe.

“Tae…Tae…” Jeongguk chanted that name over and over as he slowly pulled the heart out. His inside was burning—like he had drunk a gallon of acid and the fluid is slowly melting away his inside. He had never felt this much pain before, yet Jeongguk wasn’t the least bit of scared. If anything he was happy as he sliced off the last vein connected to the heart with his sharp claw.

Then very carefully Jeongguk pulled the beating organ out. He cradled it within both of his hands, holding it close as he gazed down at it in awe. The heart was small—only half the size of his fist, but that was given considering how it was just one half of a whole. Jeongguk’s gaze softened as he watched it beat healthily within his hands. Never did he think that he’d find a heart so beautiful. It really reflects its owner…

“Tae…” Jeongguk mumbled one last time, a smile lifting his bloodied lips as his eyes slowly closed.

Now Taehyung is free.

“What do you mean he’s coming to live with us?” Jimin’s voice echoed from other side of the glowing orb. “TaeTae, did you even talk to Jeongguk properly over this?”

“What’s there to talk about?” Taehyung muttered, slumping into his seat and looking utterly defeated. “He hates me. He has since the day I turned him into one of us.”

“But I thought you two were getting along for the last hundred years.” Jimin argued. “At least whenever I came over you two seemed to get along pretty well. He even tried to subtly ask more about you when we’re alone.”

“He’s just doing it out of guilt.” Taehyung replied. “He’s a good kid…that’s why I told you guys not to tell him, but you still went and did it.”

“We’re not going to stand by and watch you get unreasonably hated, Taehyungie. Someone has to tell the kid the truth.” Hoseok’s voice suddenly came in, cutting into their conversation. “The three of us have no problem with him staying over. What’s more important is your current condition. Do you know how worried Joon-ah is when he suddenly felt you forcefully broke the seal? What the hell did you do that for? Couldn’t you have waited five more minutes? Namjoon set the seal on you himself. Even if he didn’t use a particularly strong one, do you have any idea the toll on your body it does?”

“…Sorry hyung, something just came up.” Taehyung said while wiping away a small streak of blood that slipped out from the corner of his lips. Thankfully the two demons on the other end weren’t able to see, otherwise they’ll never let him hear the end of it.

“Oh don’t apologize to me, keep it for Jin-hyung. He’s heading towards your place right now. He’s not happy that you blocked all of his calls. He was ranting about it when he broke into our home and literally dragged Yoongi-yah out the door with him.”

Taehyung felt his eyelids jumped at the last bit of information before he mumbled a “yeah, yeah” and shut off the communication with a snap of his finger. Once the orb vanished, Taehyung was left in silence in the large room. He heaved out a deep sigh and he rubbed his long fingers over the bridge of his nose.

He can already imagine it now…Seokjin and Yoongi—the two worst demons that can ever be paired up together. If Seokjin is so angry that even Yoongi got dragged along—willingly or not, then…

Taehyung felt his lungs tightened as he started another wave of coughs, causing more blood to splatter out of his mouth. He glanced down at his stained white robe, deciding to change before his hyungs arrive. Just as he stood up, Taehyung heard a crackling sound. His ears twitched as he looked down to his left hand where a crimson string was tied around his wrist with a single white bead. The bead was cracking at a rapid pace and before Taehyung could even react, it shattered into hundreds of tiny shards that rained over the ground.

Taehyung’s eyes widened and he was gone in a blur of white.

“Gukkie…Gukkie…!” He chanted, feeling the air growing harder and harder to breath as he coughed out another mouthful of blood. He arrived in front of Jeongguk’s room in a blink of an eye. Without even stopping, he just smashed through the ice made door with a wave of his hand and charged inside.

The sight before him made all of his blood froze as he stared at the scene. The white fur that he had spent hours choosing for Jeongguk to lay over his bed was dyed completely in crimson. At the center was Jeongguk, cradling a still beating heart with an uneven hole in his abdomen. His shiny raven hair had turned white with his flesh flaky and shrivelled up as if having all of his blood sucked from his body.

“No, no, no, no, no…!” Taehyung chanted over and over as he clumsily gathered Jeongguk into his arms and shoved his heart back into the body through that hand sized hole. “No, please no…you can’t do this to me Gukkie, you can’t…”

His hands couldn’t stop quivering as he tried to get his heart to reattach to the body. But no matter how hard he tried, it wasn’t working. Demon’s heart can only be used to revive lower species such as animals and humans. But Jeongguk, after being given his tail and living a hundred year with his heart, has already became a full fledge demon. His heart can’t bring him back anymore.

Taehyung knew that…he knew, but he refused to believe it.

He didn’t want to believe that Jeongguk would be gone from his life forever.

Taehyung was practically losing it. He tried to calm down and think. There has to be away to save him…but his mind was going blan in panic. The stress caused more blood to be coughed out from his lungs and at that moment, but Taehyung didn’t even notice.

Jeongguk…he has to save Jeongguk.

There has to be some ways to save him…

“TAEHYUNG! Get out here right now!” A voice suddenly boomed, shaking the entire ice palace as Taehyung’s mind instantly cleared out.

“H-hyung…” He gasped as light returned to his eyes.

“HYUNG!” He cried out. His voice must have sounded desperate, because the next thing he knows Seokjin and Yoongi both appeared before him. The two of them were only stunned by what they saw a split second before they sprang into action.

Yoongi grabbed onto Jeongguk as blue light shrouded around both of their bodies. Taehyung knew what this was. Yoongi was stopping Jeongguk’s time.

“What happened?” Seokjin asked as he sat next to the fox demon. His voice was calm, but Taehyung could hear the urgency behind it.

“I don’t—I don’t…” Taehyung choked, unable to form words as that image of Jeongguk cradling his heart kept replaying inside his head.

“Taehyung.” Yoongi grabbed onto Taehyung, his grip so hard that the pressure brought the fox demon back into reality. “Jeongguk needs help now. What the hell happened?”

“He ripped his heart out…”

“And when was that? Do you know when it happened?”

Taehyung tried hard to think. He thought back to when he walked out of Jeongguk’s room, to talking with Jimin and Hoseok, to noticing the bead—the symbol of Jeongguk’s life crumbling away.

Why couldn’t he have noticed sooner?

“Do you at least know when he died?” Yoongi asked, changing his question when he saw the conflicted and angry look on Taehyung’s face.

“No more than a minute ago.” Taehyung responded quickly as he remembered when the bead shattered. Yes, Jeongguk’s life had ended at that very moment.

“A minute...” Seokjin repeated. “That’s good…that’s not too long ago…should be enough time…” Despite saying that, Seokjin’s brows were still tightly furrowed as his eyes scanned over every part of Jeongguk.

“I can only return his time to five minutes max.” Yoongi said. “After that I won’t be able to freeze his time again until that five minute is up.”

“That’s more than enough.” Seokjin said as he lifted a sharp claw down to Jeongguk. Taeyhung held back a growl when Seokjin began to cut open Jeongguk’s abdomen even more. He kept telling himself that Seokjin is helping Jeongguk, not harming him before he finally crushed down the urge to jump in.

His stared down at Jeongguk’s lifeless body with bloodshot eyes. The image of Jeongguk, cradling his heart returned. For the first time, Taehyung didn’t try to ignore that image. He took his time analyzing it, looking over every little detail and finally saw that very faint smile playing on his cracked lips. Taehyung felt like an invisible hand is squeezing his heart as a realization he didn’t dare to think of came to him.

Seokjin leaned over Jeongguk’s body to look through the new opening he had made. His eyes swept over the inside, memorizing every single detail before he repositioned the heart inside so that the veins mostly matches up.

“Ok…I can reattach the heart in thirty seconds, but he needs blood. Since Jeongguk’s lives on your heart, his blood is the exact same as yours. You’re the only one who can transfer blood to him, Tae. But before that I have to check your body condition.”

“I’m fine, hyung.” Taehyung said. “I can do this.”

Seokjin didn’t say anything but grabbed Taehyung by the wrist and put in a small amount of energy into his body. Seokjin guided that energy through Taehyung’s body, examining over every little part before stopping at a very specific part. And then, Seokjin’s face contorted into anger.

“Your organs are torn up! You call that ok?!”

“Hyung, it’ll heal in another couple of hours!”

“I can’t believe you!” Seokjin sighed before he grabbed a pill from a tiny pouch and tossed it to Taehyung. “Eat it. It’ll speed up your recovery. We’ll start in three minutes.”

Taehyung swallowed the pill without question and felt the pain inside him easing up. These three minutes were the longest minutes of Taehyung’s life. He gazed at Jeongguk’s lifeless body and couldn’t think of anything but every bits and pieces of their lives together for the last hundred and ten years.

He can’t lose him.

He can’t.

“Hyung…please save him.” He begged, tears flowing down his cheeks as both Yoongi and Seokjin looked up at him.

“Just leave it to your hyungs.” Yoongi said before his eyes drifted down to Jeongguk’s.

Seokjin patted Taehyung on the back before he pulled out a needle. Taehyung knew what it means. He pulled off his robe before Seokjin could even ask, allowing the other demon access to his body. Seokjin started pricking the needle all over Taehyung. Every part of him that got pricked, his blood would flow out like red thread, gathering over Seokjin’s open hand as they morphed into a ball. But rather than merging into a ball of fluid, the threads of blood stacked over one another like a ball of yarn.

Taehyung could feel his body growing weaker and weaker as the blood ball grows. When Seokjin finally stopped the blood flow, he can barely feel his fingertips. His ears were drooping over his head as he sat by Jeongguk’s side, needing to keep his hand on the bed just to keep himself upright.

All he can do now was to put his hopes in his two hyungs.

“Yoongi-yah, I need you to hold the heart for me.” Seokjin said as he put some pins around the hole he had created, making sure it wouldn’t close up when the other demon works his power. Yoongi took the half heart and held it inside Jeongguk.

“Bit to the left…rotate it five degree counter clockwise…down a little—not that down, I meant literally down.” After some instructions, Yoongi finally positioned the heart to where Seokjin is satisfied with.

When Seokjin nodded in approval, the light surrounding Jeongguk grewed even fiercer as Yoongi started to pour his energy into the lifeless body.

“Then in three…” Yoongi began to count down as wind began to flow around the sealed room. Taehyung could feel Yoongi’s energy in the wind as they swirl around the room before gathering around Jeongguk. “Two…one…!”

And then, Taehyung’s eyes gleamed as he watched Jeongguk’s body rapidly moving backward in time. His completely shrivelled body was loosening up—like a dry towel slowly soaking up moister. The wrinkles skin was started to regain their normal smoothness while the hollowness on Jeongguke’s cheeks began to puff out once more.

The blood soaking the white fur of the bed started to move, flowing backward through the hole in Jeongguke’s abdomen. Just as Jeongguk’s body looked like it’s recovering, it suddenly stopped. The blood that was flowing back into his body suddenly came gushing out again. The flesh that was just pumping up was rapidly sinking back down.

Seokjin moved swiftly. His hand moved like a blur as he rapidly stitched Jeongguk’s veins back onto Taehyung’s heart. From Taehyung’ angle, he could look through the opening Seokjin is working from and see millions of thin, nearly invisible threads connecting from his heart to Jeongguk. It had been over in just thirty seconds, just like Seokjin had estimated. With a tug, the threads contracted as the heart snapped right back to where it belonged in Jeongguke’s body—the veins matching together perfectly as if it had never been severed.

Yoongi quickly retracted his hand, allowing Seokjin to quickly stitch up the holes on Jeongguk’s body. He connected all the veins and flesh back together while draining the extra puddle of blood inside his body.

Once that is done, Seokjin began working on the rest of the body. He used the needle in his hand and began jabbing holes all over Jeongguk’s body. He went for the critical area first, such as the chest and the neck. Before he stab the needle in, he would always hook up one of the blood thread first, so that the moment he jabbed into Jeongguk’s drying vein, the blood thread would immediately start to flow into the body.

Taehyung could barely follow Seokjin’s movement in his weakened state. All he could see was Jeongguk’s body recovering right before his eyes. His cheeks were becoming rosy again and some redness returned to his lips. He could hear his breathing—faint but definitely there. And more importantly, he could hear the sound of his heart inside Jeongguk, pumping blood to the rest of his body to get the blood flowing.

He finally let out a breath he didn’t even realize he had been holding in.

Jeongguk’s alive.

He’s alive…which means Taehyung isn’t too late. He can still right the mistake he made.

“Come on.” Yoongi was suddenly beside Taehyung, putting his cleaner hand over the fox shoulder. “Seokjin-hyung will handle the rest. I need a bath and so do you.”

“Put this into the bathtub.” Seokjin said, throwing over a small bottle without even looking at them as he kept working on Jeongguk.

Yoongi caught the bottle in one hand while hooking his other under Taehyung’s arm to pull him onto his feet. Taehyung was reluctant to leave, but he knew it wasn’t like he can do anything to help.

He let Yoongi guide him away, his head spinning with each step. If it wasn’t for Yoongi supporting him, Taehyung wasn’t even sure if he can take more than five steps. He wasn’t sure if this was because of his blood lost or the relieve from knowing Jeongguk is now safe.

Perhaps it’s both…

Once in the huge bathtub, Yoongi opened the bottle Seokjin had given them as crimson powder scattered out and melted into the steaming hot water. In a blink of an eye, the clear blue water became a shade of bottomless red.

Yoongi practically threw Taehyung into the water before he began to slowly remove his clothes.

When Taehyung remerged, he was coughing badly, some crimson fluid that didn’t look like water spilling from his mouth.

“Are you trying to kill me, hyung?” Taehyung choked out, gripping onto the edge of the tub as he glanced at the other demon going for the showerheads.

“You looked like you needed a good smack.” Yoongi deadpanned. “Those are blood clan’s secret recovery formulas. You know how it works. If you come out before your body soaks it up I will kick you back in.”

Taehyung grumbled, but didn’t say anymore as he turned himself around to lean against the edge of the tub and sat down properly. Every part of his body that’s submerged was tingling as he looked down to see the cloud of red in the tub slowly gathering towards him.

Hearing the sound of water turning on, Taehyung looked back at Yoongi who is washing off the blood on his hand.

“…You’re not going to ask?” Taehyung asked after a long moment of silent.

“What’s there to ask?” Yoongi asked, not once looking over as he reached for the soap and scrubbed it over his pale skin. “It’s obvious that you fucked up.”

Taehyung’s ears twitched, but then slouched back against his skull.

“You’re not exactly comforting me here, hyung.”

“Why should I waste time comforting someone who doesn’t want to be comforted?” Yoongi asked, raising an eyebrow as he finally looked over to Taehyung. “It’s obvious the two of you aren’t meant to work out. Watching you two is like watching those human dramas that Jimin's obsessed over.”

Taehyung gazed down at the murky red water to see his own pathetic reflection. He waved his arms, scattering his own image before he sank down until the water reached up to his neck. He leaned his head back to look up at the ceiling and sighed. Yoongi is right. There are too many issues between them—too many things they never found the time to work out.

No…actually, they have the time. A hundred and ten years had been a long time, Taehyung just didn’t know how or where to start. He loves Jeongguk, but he knew how much Jeongguk hated him. And ever since that time he took him to let him see his family, Jeongguk’s hatred had changed into guilt.

No matter how nice Jeongguk is towards him or how much Jeongguk tried to help out, it was all done to repay him. Taehyung couldn’t take any of his feelings for the past hundred years seriously. He thought that once Jeongguk figured he had repaid his debut he would try to leave. After all, why would he stay? The kid started out loathing his very existence.

So Taehyung, despite how much he loves Jeongguk, always kept a distance. It was a cowardly way to protect himself because he couldn’t bare it when the day Jeongguk wants to leave finally come. He was so blinded by the past that he had refused to see the present, and that cost Jeongguk’s life.

“But…” Yoongi got up and with a wave of his hand the water around his body and hair evaporated, leaving his body completely dry. “We’re not humans, we’re demons. We have all the time in the world to fix the mistakes we made.”

Taehyung snapped his head up, but Yoongi was already out the door, leaving him alone in the giant bathroom. The fox stared at the closed door for the longest time before a small smile lifted his face.

A droplet slowly rolled down his cheek and dripped down his chin—vanishing into the crimson water. Finally, everything that had happened in this single day caught up to him. The panic he felt when Jeongguk had ran outside…the sight of Jeongguk’s lifeless body lying on the bed…and finally, knowing that Jeongguk is alive...

Exhaustion overwhelmed him as Taehyung closed his eyes and let his mind drift off into the darkness.

It wasn’t until two days later that Jeongguk woke.

The first thing that registered to his mind was that it was warm. It was different than the warmth of the furs he bundle himself in—it was the type of warmth that made him felt safe.

Jeongguk snuggled closer towards the source of the heat. A sigh fell from his lips when he felt his body was held tighter, the warmth wrapping around him so pleasantly that he was lulled back to sleep…

But then the second thing registered into his mind.

Warmth…safeness…he shouldn’t be feeling any of those things.

He wasn’t supposed to even feel. Not anymore.

Jeongguk gasped as his eyes snapped open and was immediately greeted by a pair of amber eyes. Jeongguk immediately knew who these eyes belongs to.

Taehyung.

Why is Taehyung here?

Jeongguk tried to get up, but found that he couldn’t. Taehyung had his arms wrapped around him tightly, preventing him from moving. Jeongguk could feel his heart pounding heavily in his ribcage and the feeling of it sent an uneasy shiver down his body.

“T-Tae…” Jeongguk didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t stupid. When he clearly felt his heart and seeing Taehyung in front of him, he already knew what it means. He has been saved…but why? Why would Taehyung even bother giving his heart back to him?

He had a small, hopeful answer, but he dismissed it. He didn’t want to think about it because if he’s wrong then reality would be too painful.

“…!”

Jeongguk squeaked when a hand touched his cheek, slowly and gently lifting his head up until he was facing Taehyung again. Jeongguk was shaken when he saw the raw pain flashing by those beautiful eyes. His throat suddenly feels painfully dry—as if he had stuffed himself with a bag of cotton.

“We need to talk.” In the end, it was Taehyung who broke the silence. He slowly sat up, pulling Jeongguk along with one arm still wrapped firmly around his waist.

Jeongguk’s heart was pounding as he was practically glued to Taehyung’s body, their chest pressed tightly together without any space between them. Through their touching bodies, Jeongguk could feel Taehyung’s heartbeats, matching in the exact rhythm as his.

“T-Taehyung…” Jeongguk was scared. He didn’t know why, but he just was. He tried to push away from Taehyung, but Taehyung’s other arm came around him, stopping his struggle.

“I’m sorry, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk stiffen, not because of the sudden apology, but because Taehyung had called him by his full name. Taehyung had always called him Gukkie. He hadn’t called him by his full name since turning him into a demon. The way he called his name made it feels like there’s a distant between them and that made Jeongguk grabbed onto Taehyung tightly, fearing that he’s going to leave again.

His heart won’t take it if Taehyung turn his back to him again.

“Tae—”

“No, listen to me, Jeongguk.” Taehyung said, once again using his full name which made Jeongguk shut his mouth.

“I was stupid. I should have told you everything since the beginning.” Taehyung said softly. “If I had talked to you properly, then perhaps this misunderstanding wouldn’t happen at all. I knew how much you hated becoming what you are now, but instead of talking you through it, I let your hatred grow. I thought that might be better than letting you know the truth of how I brought you back to life because I didn’t want you to feel obligated towards me for something you didn’t choose. But in the end, that’s just my selfish decision. I never once gave you the chance to decide anything for yourself. And exactly a hundred years ago, after I woke from having my powers sealed away, the look on your face already told me that you found out everything.”

Jeongguk eyes widened. Taehyung knew that he already knew everything? Sure his behaviour changed ever since Taehyung’s friends told him everything, but Taehyung had never talked to him about it. And from the way he acted, Jeongguk was certain he didn’t know.

“I never confronted you about it because I thought that perhaps you’ll feel less awkward if I pretend that I didn’t know.” Taehyung said, as if reading what was going through his mind. “When your attitude towards me changed, I brushed it off as you acting out of guilt. I didn’t want you to feel that way, but I couldn’t think of what to do either, so I continued to turn a blind eye to your actions. But the more we interact and the longer the time passed, I realized that I’ve fallen in love with you, Jeongguk. It was a week before your twentieth birthday that I realized that.”

Taehyung tightened his hold as if fearing Jeongguk would suddenly vanish from his arms.

“Because you’re only being kind to me out of guilt, I thought you wouldn’t return my feelings. I thought that one day, when you feel like you’ve repaid your debt, you’ll leave…so I always kept a distant between us. I thought if I do that, my feelings for you might go away—even if I knew I was just fooling myself. Fox demons mate for life…once we fall in love, it’s impossible to fall out of it.”

Jeongguk felt his eyes burned. He wanted to say something, but every time he opened his mouth, he ended up closing it. What was there for him to say? Jeongguk knew that he had messed up, but he didn’t think he had messed up this badly.

He thought that Taehyung was fed up with him.

He thought Taehyung didn’t want him around anymore…

“When I discovered that you went out on your own, I was terrified. I was convinced that you left because you finally decided to leave my side. I didn’t ask you or to confirm what you think because even if I thought that was what you wanted, hearing it in reality would be more painful, so I chose not to hear it. I messed up, Jeongguk. I won’t ask for forgiveness. I can wait another hundred years or even a thousand years…all I ask for is a chance to make up for everything.”

“I-I…” Jeongguk choked as his mind rapidly tried to form out words. He needed to tell him…he needed to tell Taehyung now. “I should be the one saying sorry!”

Jeongguk pushed out of Taehyung’s arms, just enough so that he could grab onto Taehyung’s shoulders and directly look up into those golden eyes.

“I’m sorry for everything, Tae. I’m sorry for being stupid, I’m sorry for everything I said back when I was a kid, I’m sorry that you had to get hurt for my sake. There’s nothing for me to forgive! You didn’t do anything wrong! I should have talked it out with you, but I was too blinded by hate back then I just decided everything was everyone else’s fault. You were just conveniently there for me to take out my anger on. And even after I found out, I was too ashamed to confront you…but I don’t hate you! I never once thought about leaving you either. I wasn’t trying to leave you!”

Jeongguk’s grip tightened over Taehyung as he desperately tried to tell Taehyung everything he had been keeping bottled up inside him.

“I…it’s just…that Baku…you were still out cold and it was getting closer. I didn’t know when you would wake up…I got worried and didn’t think. I wanted to protect you. I admit that it was partly because I still feel guilty over what I did to you in the past and wanted to find some ways to make up for it…but I realized that wasn’t it. I love you Tae. I want to protect you because I really love you. I didn’t do everything out of guilt. I wanted earn the right to stay by your side. You probably won’t believe me now but I really—”

“…I know.” Taehyung said affectionately, his gaze softening as he pulled the agitated youth back into his arms. “I do believe you. I understood your feelings the moment I saw you on that bed with my heart in your hands.”

And then, Jeongguk jerked when he felt something moist dripping down his neck.

“Do you have any idea what it feels like? To come back and see the one you love lying lifelessly there and realized that your love wasn’t unrequited after all?”

Jeongguk let out a muffled whine when Taehyung’s arms tightened.

“You were dead, Jeongguk. All I could think of were regrets. If only I had talked to you, none of this wouldn’t have happened. You wouldn’t have gotten hurt if I had just listened to you. If Jin-hyung and Yoongi-hyung didn’t come on time—I would have joined you on that bed and completed that heart.”

Jeongguk’s blood turned cold at the revelation. “T-Tae I—…I didn’t mean to…I didn’t know…”

Jeongguk’s voice was gradually lost. Of course he didn’t think. All he had thought about was himself and what he thought was best for Taehyung. He didn’t think of how Taehyung would feel. If it was the other way around, Jeongguk would be devastated and would done exactly what Taehyung had said—to join the other.

Tears slowly rolled down his cheeks as he wrapped his arms around Taehyung, holding him back just as fiercely.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry, Tae.”

“No, Gukkie.” Taehyung sighed, once more calling him by that familiar nickname. “I was the one who pushed you to this point.”

“No, I’m the one who—!” Jeongguk was cut off when Taehyung smacked his lips against the younger demon.

It was their first kiss, but the fierceness from both sides didn’t make it seem like this was the first time. Their tongues slid into one another’s mouth, exploring every nook and corners as they desperately tasted one another.

Jeongguk moaned into Taehyung’s mouth as the older fox demon pushed him down onto the soft fur of the bed. Jeongguk was gasping and writhing as Taehyung slid his mouth away and began to roughly kiss down the curve of his neck and bit into the junction of his neck and shoulder. All of the sudden, Jeongguk felt something around his body loosened. He looked down and flushed when he saw his robes falling apart, revealing the pale flesh underneath.

“You can still stop me.” Taehyung’s deep voice growled, his amber eyes gleaming dangerously as he hovered over the younger demon like a predator looking down at his prey. “If you don’t stop me now, I won’t be able to hold myself back later.”

“Who said I want you to hold back?” Jeongguk snorted, smiling as he wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s neck and brought him down so that their foreheads touched.

“I love you, Tae.”

“I love you too, Gukkie.” Taehyung whispered back, his voice equally tender as his hands cupped Jeongguk’s cheeks before he dipped his head down for another kiss.

Thank goodness that they’re not too late.