Work Text:
Well it’s a sad picture
The final blow hits ya
Somebody else gets what you wanted again
You know it’s all the same
Another time and place
Repeating history and you’re getting sick of it…
Tessa swallowed hard past the lump in her throat as she tried her best not to stare at the gold medals glinting out of the corner of her eye. She knew they had to look happy for the cameras and the rest of the world, but her eyes kept drifting over to those tantalizingly shiny objects. During the many, many times throughout the last four years when she had the urge to just give up and quit competing, it was the thought of those medals that kept her going. She would close her eyes and imagine the weight of how it would feel hanging around her neck, with her flag displayed proudly in the background and her national anthem ringing throughout the stadium for the second time in four years. Every single time, that fantasy never failed to strengthen her resolve to keep fighting and chasing their dreams.
And now, the objects of all her desires and hard work for the last four years were draped around someone else’s necks. And the American flag was rising to the top in the background. And the “Star-Spangled Banner” was playing.
It was all wrong. So wrong.
She and Scott had fought and fought, but ultimately failed to measure up to their training mates. Competition after competition of trying so, so hard but always, frustratingly, maddeningly, a few precious points behind. Unbidden and unwanted, images flooded through Tessa’s mind of other podiums in other cities throughout the last two years in which they were relegated to that horrible second step. Two Grand Prixs. Two Worlds. And now, the too-familiar silver around their necks on the world’s biggest stage cemented what they had known in the back of their minds all along: these past two seasons, these Olympics, belonged to Meryl and Charlie. Not them.
Tessa was so sick of being second best. So sick of somebody else getting what she and Scott wanted again. But what was done was done, and there was nothing left to do but to paste a fake smile on her face, wave to the crowd, and accept the fact that history had chosen to repeat itself, yet again.
*****
But I believe in whatever you do
And I’ll do anything to see it through
“Let’s go back to the Olympics.”
Scott turned to look at Tessa in surprise. They were sitting on her couch after dinner, watching The Princess Bride(Scott had groaned in protest, she had retorted that it was her apartment, and he had rolled his eyes and relented. She knew he secretly loved it.) They were watching the movie in companionable silence when she had suddenly blurted it out.
“Really? Are you sure?” he asked carefully. “I thought you were really enjoying having some room to breathe during the break and all that.”
“I am,” she nodded, “but…I don’t know. Even though I hated it with my entire being some days, I also really miss competing sometimes. A lot of times. There’s nothing quite like it, you know?” She glanced over at him, one corner of her mouth curling up into a wry smile.
They had both agreed to retire for the time being after Sochi. 16 years of 5 a.m. wakeups and strict diets and almost nonexistent social lives had worn both of them down, and they sorely needed an extended break. Scott had started coaching, while she chose to work with various fashion collaborators. Their work kept them in different cities more often than not these days, but he was visiting her for the weekend.
“Yeah. I know what you mean,” Scott replied softly, and when he looked into her eyes, she knew they were thinking about the same thing. The thrill of anxiety and excitement as they took the ice and settled into their initial poses at a competition, the three or four minutes during which nothing else mattered, nothing else existed but the music, their choreography, and each other. Tessa knew that nothing else in this life would be able to come close to the exhilaration that it brought her, and she knew that Scott felt the same way.
“I know it’ll be a lot of nonstop hard work again for two years. But I think I can do it. I’m ready to do it. And…I think there’s a part of me that would never be truly satisfied unless we came back and gave the Olympics another shot.” Tessa bit her lip as she gauged his reaction. “What do you think? I know you’ve been enjoying the break too, and obviously it’s a big decision…”
Scott smiled softly at her, reaching over to place a hand on her knee. “No, I’ve missed the challenge of competition too. And you know I believe in whatever you do. Let’s give these Olympics another shot and see it through.”
Tessa grinned and let out an excited squeal as she threw her arms around his neck, anticipation and nerves shooting through her body in equal measure as if she were stepping onto the ice during a competition. Olympics round three, here we come.
*****
So we’ve been outnumbered
Raided and now cornered
It’s hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair
We’re getting stronger now, find things they never found
They might be bigger, but we’re faster and never scared
You can walk away, say we don’t need this…
But there’s something in your eyes says we can beat this
Scott let out an extremely loud groan of frustration, running his hands through his hair as he stalked away from the rink to the dressing room. Tessa watched him go with resignation as she let out a sigh of equal volume, dropping her head into her hands in exhaustion.
Moving to Montreal to work with Marie and Patch for their comeback had been a much-needed breath of fresh air and change of pace from their training routines for the last decade. They had agreed from the start that their only goal was to skate an even better and more difficult routine than they had in Sochi. To elevate themselves to a level at which, even accounting for any dodgy scoring, it would be impossible to deny them the gold if they skated their absolute best.
Scott and Tessa threw themselves back into the grueling routine of competition training with vigor, enlisting the help of various choreographers, dancers, and even acrobats to help make their performance even more technically brilliant. Tessa knew that that they had matured even further as skaters and artists in the two years since Sochi, and she could feel in her bones that their PyeongChang routines were shaping up to be something truly magical.
This week, however, had been a particularly rough one. Although they enjoyed pushing themselves to their limits, neither of them could deny that the training was more physically difficult on their bodies this time around than it had ever been in the past. The ramifications of that new challenge, combined with the fact that they had been arguing an unusual amount about what elements to include in their free dance, had made this week the most frustrating one she could remember having since they had started seriously training again.
Back home for the day after practice, showered and freshened up, Tessa sat down on her couch. She tucked one leg under her chin as she absentmindedly gazed out the window, her thoughts drifting to mull over the tough week they had had and the doubts that accompanied it. It was a balmy 60 degrees, so unusual for March, and she could feel the warm breeze from the open window dance across her cheek.
On an impulse, she grabbed her phone and texted Scott. The Hill in 30?
Her phone buzzed almost immediately. I’ll bring dinner.
Half an hour later, Tessa stepped out of her car and saw Scott walking towards her. He smiled at her as she linked her arm through his, and together they headed to one of their favorite places in the city.
The Hill was a small, elevated, and isolated area in a park on the edge of the city that they had stumbled upon while exploring during their first month living in Montreal. They had discovered what a beautiful view of their new home it offered, and ever since then it had become their preferred destination whenever life got hard and they needed a place to think through things or clear their heads.
Once they found a good spot, Tessa spread out the blanket she had brought while Scott unpacked Chinese takeout from the large brown paper bag he was holding. They dug in wordlessly for a few minutes until Tessa felt compelled to break the silence.
“Scott. I’m sorry for this past week. I think coming back to training’s been tough at times for us both, and I hate arguing with you…”
Before she could finish, Scott was shaking his head. “No, Tess, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so worked up. It has been a difficult week, but we’ll work through it and get past this.”
Tessa put her hand gently over his, looking down at the ground as she voiced the nagging thoughts that had been floating around in the back of her mind for the entire week. “Are you sure that…you still want to try to come back? It’s definitely been tougher physically on us this time around than ever before, and with the judges and their scoring, who knows what’ll actually happen. I know that I was the one who brought it up in the first place, and I want to make sure…that it’s what you want too. And we haven’t announced anything yet. We don’t necessarily need this. We can still walk away…”
She felt Scott’s fingers gently grasp her chin, and suddenly she found herself meeting his soft, warm gaze.
“Tess, no. I want this too. So much.I want to prove to the world that we can do it. For you, and for me. For us both.”
She looked into his endlessly familiar hazel eyes and found only determination and resolve there, no traces of hesitation or uncertainty. They reassured her for the first time that maybe, just maybe, they really could beat this.
“Okay,” she whispered.
“Okay,” he whispered back, his mouth curling up into an affectionate smile.
Tessa leaned her head into his chest as he wrapped an arm around her, and together they watched the sun set over Montreal.
*****
Because these things will change
Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
This revolution, the time will come for us to finally win
And we’ll sing hallelujah, we’ll sing hallelujah…
Tonight we’ll stand and get off our knees
Fight for what we worked for all these years
And the battle was long, it’s the fight of our lives
But we’ll stand there, champions tonight...
Seven minutes. The culmination of twenty yearsof blood and sweat and tears and many, many sacrifices. Moving to a foreign city at just fifteen years old with only her partner as her companion, practicing routines until she couldn’t feel her feet anymore while everyone else her age was relaxing or partying, being so nervous to the point of nausea in the days right before competitions because she wanted to be at the top of the podium so badly.
The ultimate fight for everything they had worked for over the last two decades. The fight of their lives. In the end, it all came down to those seven minutes.
They had agreed to skate completely blind, to not even be aware of anyone’s scores before their performance. Because ultimately, they came back to prove to the world what they themselves could do—regardless of how any of their competitors did.
As they took the ice for the free dance in the individual event, Tessa felt a wave of bittersweet nostalgia. She looked around the rink and across the stands, her eyes landing on Team Canada, decked out in red and white and waving Canadian flags. This might very well be the last time they skated in a competition, the last time they represented their country. How absolutely crazy it was that the first time they did this was 20 years ago, and what an incredibly long but also incredibly short time ago that seemed.
Settling into her initial pose, her eyes found Scott’s for a brief moment, just as they always had since that first competition when they were seven and nine. “It’s just you and me, kiddo,” he whispered to her, his face the picture of calm and serenity.
Just you and me. Scott and Tessa. Now and forever.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and then the music began.
*****
It was the night things changed—can you see it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
This revolution, throw your hands up cause we never gave in
And we’ll sing hallelujah, we’ll sing hallelujah…
From the moment the world came back into focus after they struck their final pose on the ice, it was all a blur. Tessa’s awareness came back to her in flashes—first, the distant roar of the crowd rushing into her ears after her whole world had narrowed to just Scott, the music and their choreography during those four minutes. Looking up into the stands and seeing the entire arena giving them a standing ovation. Sitting with Scott, Marie, and Patch as their results were announced, her heart leaping into her throat for a frantic moment as their score flashed onto the screen and she wondered is it good enough? And then immediately, Scott’s earth-shattering holler next to her as an answering grin stretched her face from ear to ear, and being hauled up into his arms in the next second in the tightest, most triumphant hug of her life.
Holding hands with Scott and jumping on top of the podium at the medal ceremony. Hearing “O Canada” blaring through the stadium and seeing the Canadian flag displayed proudly at the top of the rafters, just as she so desperately wished were the case four years ago. Looking down at her gold medaland feeling its weight around her neck. Throwing her arms into the air with Scott, hands clasped together, because these walls that the judges and the universe had put up to hold them back had finally fallen down…and they had never given in.
Even as she lay in bed much later that night, after dozens of congratulations from everyone she knew and a lengthy celebration, her mind running through the events of the day over and over in her head, she could still barely believe that she and Scott had done it. They had really, truly won another gold medal. Everything they had worked toward for the last two years and wanted for the last four—really, the last twenty…had actually happened.
Her last thought as she drifted off to sleep with the biggest smile on her face was, Amazing, isn’t it…how things can change?