Work Text:
“You can’t have Bruce.” Darcy pointed with her chopsticks. “You may be Science!Bros, but I’m technically his assistant and I cannot have an awkward work environment, dude.”
Tony sputters in dismay before slamming his takeout container on the coffee table. “Well, then, you can’t have Jane.” He speaks over her objections with a growing smug smile. “She’s working in my lab with my equipment on multiple high-level projects I’ve started. I can’t be watching over her shoulder for internal sabotage; it would impede everything!”
Darcy slurps up noodles, eyeing Tony speculatively in a way that makes him uncomfortable. When he kisses her, it’s only to stop her from talking but it deepens from there. She sighs into his mouth as he caresses her side and he repeats the action to see if it will garner the same reaction. Really, it’s just a science experiment; he hadn’t meant for them to fall into bed together again. The first time had already shown a failed result. However, repeating the experiment made the findings scientifically valid. Yup, that’s the reason. Just that.
Whatever the reason, he wakes up the next morning with her tangled up in his sheets and his arm wrapped around her. His first reaction isn’t to run and his second is to freak out over that fact. He makes coffee and stands at the foot of the bed holding it, watching her sleep with blind eyes and a mind going in a million directions.
This will never work.
Darcy wakes up slowly, body stretching before her eyes open. She blinks blearily up at him and sits up to snatch the coffee from his hands.
“Mmmm,” her moan shoots straight to his groin. “Thank you.”
“This will never work.” He says and retreats to his bathroom with the sound of her laugh following him. She’s gone by the time he finally comes out. He spends 24 hours straight in his workshop tinkering with nothing and blaring music to drown out his thoughts.
~
“You can have Steve. In fact, I insist.” Darcy is smirking and Tony has this weird sense of deja vu. They’ve been on this couch before, having this exact same discussion, not even a week earlier. She had started dividing their friends then and at first, it made sense. Now? He was afraid. Very, very afraid.
...But he still asks. “Why, exactly?”
“Because you two already fight over everything. Telling him that you took advantage of poor little me, besmirched my character, and sullied my innocence might just push him over the edge.” She blinks up at him, playing the coquette.
Tony blinks back at her, alarm quickly growing in his chest. He manages to fumble the queso drenched shrimp he had just stolen from her takeout container and drop it on the floor. “That’s not fair. That’s not what happened.”
“We both know that Steve doesn’t approve of one night stands. Remember him giving Clint the Disapproving Stare when he snuck that girl out last month? He’ll jump to all the wrong conclusions and blame you. Bless his old-fashioned, patriotic heart. You can have him. I won’t spill the beans.” She waves a nacho chip at him and he tries to suppress a grin.
“Maybe.... I mean, maybe we don’t have to split our friends down the middle.” Darcy lets out a sound akin to a balloon deflating- a pshhhhh - but Tony forges ahead. “Look, we just rewrite the story. We went on a few dates, it didn’t work out; we’re still great friends though, so big smiles everyone! It’s not a break-up if nothing is broken, right?”
“If we’re going that far, why not just pretend we never crossed that line? We’re just great friends.” Darcy asks.
“Friends who flirt and grope and tease as much as we have for the past three months? They’ll never buy it.” Tony shakes his head and longs for a drink.
Darcy smirks and then blushes, the color rising to her cheeks. “True. Jane, especially, will never believe it. I may have waxed poetic about your eyes last week. On accident.”
“Oh really?” Tony wants to prod that admission until more falls out but they’ve got a limited amount of time before the others return. They have got to get their stories straight and confess before some sneaky spies out them. “So, we agree. It’s a happy story, we’re all great friends, the end.”
She tilts her head and considers him. “I mean, we did have fun.” Tony gulps but nods; Each time was particularly memorable. His garage will never be the same based on the memory of her alone. “I certainly enjoyed your creativity.” Darcy has placed her food to the side and is crawling across the couch towards him. He’s frozen in place, anticipation clearly written across his face. “Who would know if we just....tried again?” she whispers when she’s close enough for her hair to brush his nose.
Darcy tilts her head forward and he wastes no time in surging up into the kiss. He pulls her against him, maneuvering it so that she’s laying against him. Her breasts press against his chest and- dear God- she isn’t wearing a bra. He tries to maintain his composure as he works a hand up the back of her shirt, pulling it up as he goes.
“You make me feel young,” Tony whispers reverently into her hair.
“Shut up and kiss me, Old Man.” She giggles.
She’s got his fly undone and he’s got one hand on her breast and one hand kneading her ass, when someone clears their throat from the entryway.
“BANNER!” Clint hollers. “You owe me twenty bucks!” They freeze and look up to see most all of the team staring in at them making out on the couch. Darcy buries her head in his chest and he tries to extract his hands without baring her to the crowd.
Darcy is the first to regain her voice. “Welp.” She sits up and makes eye contact with Tony. “If it’s such a happy story, why should it end?”