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Yuri woke up frightened from the mattress, he felt cold sweat running all over his body, his muscles were still tense, his agitated breathing rumbled in his rib cage in a painful way, so fast and strong to endure. The anguish still contracted his chest with violence and he had to put one of his hands on his heart in a pathetic attempt to calm him down.
He recovered his composure just enough to be able to move his neck, he observed with violence towards the side of his room,his heart full anguish, the darkness terrified him as a child. Even more in this situation so desperate. His lips trembled uncontrollably, his fingers tightening the thin sheet beneath him, which seemed unable to give him more heat. It was hard to distinguish figures in the shadows of the night, but he could vaguely glimpse that beside him was the bed of his best friend, tucked up to his neck by the low Russian temperature, where he dozed peacefully.
The trembling of his body prevented him from moving for a few seconds, stifled, stiffened, despair was still present in the form of images, nefarious flashbacks that had never happened, but they felt real and painful as if he had yet to awaken from that madness.
He clung to the image of his friend as if it were his last thread of life.
He forced himself to focus on the sight Otabek through his own tears, he was there. By his side. They were together, he had before him the only proof that all that had been nothing more than a horrible nightmare.
But the voices continued to echo in his mind.
"I met a girl."
"I think she is special, Yura."
"I'm getting married."
"It's time to mature and overcome all this skating thing."
"Hey, do not hate her, you know you'll always be my best friend, even if I have to move away from you."
"I'm going to be a father."
"ENOUGH! Stop. Please! I can't stand it anymore! I don't want to be alone!" His mind screamed
Otabek opened his eyes with difficulty at the faint sound of pain from his friend, blinking heavily to focus his eyes on the boy next to him, who despite the lack of visibility seemed to be bowed over himself?
That did not sound good. Otabek was'nt sure what time it was, but judging from the lack of brightness of the room and its cold temperature, it must still be very early in the morning.
"Yu...ra? Yura? It's you? Are you okay?" He murmured raspingly, lightly massaging his eyes in an attempt to wake up.
The blonde tried to articulate words, looking directly into his eyes, trembling uncontrollably, but only managed to emit small broken whimpers. Yura denied uncontrollably, crying without being able to put their emotions in order, he felt helpless and pathetic.
Otabek sat up quickly at the moment. He was desesperate to see the state of his friend, throwing away the sheets that protected him from the cold, suddenly forgetting how sleepy he felt, walking and advancing in long strides to the blond's bed, covered only by his pajamas. Coming to his knees beside him, he guided his trembling hands to the sides of Yuri's face, caressing him in slow circles of comfort, delicately. In an effort to appease his tears, caressing the cheekbone and jaw area.
"God, Yura. Why are you crying? You are injured? Something happened?"
The brunette looked worried, his hands shivered on the velvety surface, his friend looked disheartened and unable to articulate a coherent sentence, his skin. His delicate pale and usually warm skin was completely frozen, tense, his lips did not look color, swollen and his eyes were bloodshot because of the irritation that his tears had produced.
He tried to remove the obvious sensation of cramping in the thin body of his best friend with soft circular rubbing on his limbs, carefully checking that there were no bruises on his body or any sign of where his crying came from.
He stopped in his hands and brought them closer to his face, kissing his knuckles with adoration and affection, noticing how slowly he began to react to his warm touch.
How he wished he could help, how he wanted to know what he could do so that this precious boy would never shed a tear again, how he wished to make him happy, to leave behind all the pain and loneliness that his past life had pierced so deeply into his delicate heart.
He knew that his Yura was an incredibly strong man, but he knew him more than anyone else in the world. All the facet of fighting and complaining teen was only sought to hide a wonderful person who was afraid of being hurt, abandoned.
And that burned him.
"Tell me Yura, does something wrong?"
The blond shook his head, a little more conscious when I felt the materiality of his warm hands on his skin, desperately clinging to his best friend as if he had not been in contact for years. He was welcomed by his muscular open arms, ready to comfort him as long as he wished with the purest love he had ever known. He buried his face in that warm chest, pressing the torso of the major against his body, feeling their hearts hammering furiously, united, was not noticeable in him, but it was evident that his best friend had had in calming him.
Yuri felt the warmth of his hands on his back, the older man hugged him with selfless patience, drawing slow circles on his shoulder blades, indicating that he could speak when he felt ready. He took this as a sign, snuggling even more for warmth, feeling his essence envelop him in a protective way, he breathed desesperate, trying to slow his heartbeats.
Suddenly, his voice sounded without his consent, escaping completely from him in a broken and soft sigh.
"Don't go Beka, please don't leave me." He prayed softly in that warm silence.
"I'm here Yura." That deep voice cradled him, knowing how much he needed to hear that.
"When were not together, I feel lonely and I don't know what to do. Did I become weak, Beka?"
The green-eyed boy held his grip on the DJ's pajamas, his voice sounding distant, hurt. Like reliving the facts that had destroyed him in real time.
"I'm here, I'm here, I'm here." Otabek whispered like a mantra "I will not leave you Yura, please just stop crying. You're so strong, even in this situation."-
The DJ looked down and the image before him broke his heart in a painful way, this beautiful man, who had bewitched him for many years, proud and beautiful, sobbing uncontrollably against his chest, begging him not to abandon him.
Since when did Yuri Plisetsky plead?-
And how would he want to do it? How would he want to leave him? If he loved him from the first time he saw those beautiful emeralds full of determination.-
"I don't understand Yuri. Where would I go?" He delicately stroked the golden strands, trying to incite him to speak.
"With her." He murmured clinging to his torso capriciously, causing his voice to sound trembling, unintelligible.-
"Who?" The older asked curiously, his friend had sounded kind of jealous?
"With her," He roared wounded, separating violently as his arms moved in different directions, emphasizing the discontent in his voice. "Someday you're going to marry Beka, this whole skating thing will end and we will not be together anymore, you'll have a family of the what to occupy and I'll stay in the past.
"I will be alone." He finished, sounding vulnerable, looking down at the ground, covering himself in a hug. As if the shame of his own selfishness had suddenly fallen on him.-
He loved Beka, He saw it clearly. He wanted him to be happy sincerely, He wanted him to have a family that loved him, but if he had only one chance to want something more, it would be him who would give him those things.-
Otabek's face contracted into many different emotions in a matter of seconds, slowly understanding that this was the situation. Gently guiding the younger man's face to meet the most captivating eyes he had ever met, he put up some resistance, hiding even more in the damp pajama top, but when he surrendered he found the sweetest look those onyx orbs could offer.
"Was it a nightmare?" -His voice did not reprimand him, he wasn't upset by that statement. His soul had been stripped, naked along with his fears and he accepted it. He accepted it selfish, drowned in tears and trembling. He accepted it in its most pathetic facet without questionig him.
"Yes. The most horrible one" Yuri determined guilty before the sweet caresses of the dark one, incredulous of the love that professed its glance.
"What was happening? Could you tell me Yura?" There was no pressure, only curiosity, and concern. He could easily refuse, but he didn't want it. He wanted Beka to know everything about him and still stay by his side.
"You found a girl, she was stupid and it irritated me a lot. But she gave you a baby and a house to return. You were happy and slowly giving up on me. When you left the skating I didn't have anything left. You didn't have time for me anymore."
"A girl?" The surprised dark haired man asked.
"Yes! The most irritating in the world. She was beautiful and polite, your parents approved her." A grimace of disgust formed involuntarily on his face.
New tears came out of his frustrated eyes, already swollen with pain. Even the fragility was fierce and beautiful in him. "I'm so sorry Beka, I'm so selfish"
"Yura, tell me what do you want?" Otabek cut smoothly, while his hands caressed his face, closer to his own to see his eyes.
"Be with you, forever." The blond answered almost automatically, sobbing violent. "I want to eat junk food and have you to scold me, I want us to see stupid movies that make me sleep, I want to see your silly messy hair in the morning and I want to take care of abandoned cats that at first you will not want but then you will adopt because they are really cute."
"I want to be selfish and hold you until the end. Because I like you Beka, I like you so much that I've become a coward, I'm weak and cheesy. I thought I would hate that, but feeling silly is not as bad as I thought." The confession ended abruptly and only two intense beats could be heard in the room, the blond kept an adorable pout, flushed to the ears without wanting to look up, playing with his fingers in a gesture of nervousness, eager to hear an answer.
Otabek remained astonished for a few seconds, blushing reaching his chest. Ok, maybe his best friend had been more eloquent than he had expected. Had it been a declaration of eternal love? Yura had really gone ahead this time.
"Shit, wait. Forget this." The Russian quickly added, the silence he had formed had given him a mistaken idea of the feelings of the dark-haired man, who swallowed loudly to gather the necessary oxygen, which apparently had stopped flowing through his lungs.
"Marry me" Otabek spat, looking into his eyes full of determination of fire.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Responded blushing furiously "What kind of fast response was that?"
"Marry me and let's have that life, let's stay together until the end, Yura. Or will you wait for a pretty girl to steal me from your side?" He murmured playfully, smiling with his soul. His eyes professed love, happiness.
"Never, you jerk. Your ass is mine now."
"Since Yakov's camp". -The Kazakh laughed charmingly.-
Yuri's eyes watered, hugging tightly the neck of his best friend. "I love you" He said in a whisper, while his lips brushed the warm jaw of the brunette.
"I love you too, Yura. From the first moment, I saw you."
His grip became stronger and warmer, his feelings were palpable in the unison of his heartbeat, comfortable and perfect in the other's arms.
Until Yuri opened his eyes in an excessive way, holding his new lover by the neck, in the form of a threat.
"If you tell someone that I said that corny shit and I cried I'm going to kick you so hard that you wish you had not come to Russia. Never, in your fucking life."
"I know." He laughed softly, as he returned it to his arms.
-Otabek's hands caressed the golden threads on the back of his neck until the tremors in the child's body disappeared completely, cleaning his tears with extreme patience.
"Uh, Yura. As much as I like this position, what do you think if we go back to sleep ? tomorrow we have many things to do."
"All right." He answered plaintively before untangling of its extremities.
Otabek stood up carefully, placing a soft kiss on the boy's cheek, to turn around and make his way back to his bed.
"Uh, Beka ... Could you stay with me tonight?" He whispered pleading with his eyes, knowing that the dark one would be impossible to refuse.
Otabek's cheeks burned at the thought of sleeping on the same mattress as the blonde, but he supposed it was best idea to avoid more horrendous nightmares like that.
"Yeah, right"
Yuri moved his body to create the space his friend would occupy, once his felt the warm weight of this his stomach recognized in a pleasant way. The sheets were placed on both bodies and then, between their soft breaths, between the love that their eyes professed, everything was peace.
The Russian bowed gently, observing the features of his beloved with devotion and put his lips on Otabek's, it was chaste, careful and quick.
But it was probably the best first kiss they could have thought of.
They both molded easily into each other's arms, sharing the comforting warmth of their bodies in a matter of seconds. Sighing for the comfort that intimacy offered them
"Uh, was that thing about getting married serious?" The blond hesitated, guarding himself in the darkness
"Only if you want." The Kazakh replied timid
"Maybe that's it."
"I'll go for a ring tomorrow, okay?"
"All right..."
"Good night, Beka."
"Good night, Yura."
If every time he had a nightmare he could wake up in the arms of his beloved Kazakh, then he would not mind having a few more.